


a miraculous life

by meadow_of_heathers



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste Is Sunshine, Creepy Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M, Family Member Death, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Félix Has Issues (Miraculous Ladybug), Gen, Grief/Mourning, Miraculous Ladybug Love Square, Oblivious Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Oblivious Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Original Akuma, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, Other, POV Bisexual Character, Past Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Protective Félix (Miraculous Ladybug), Protective Luka Couffaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 118,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23423176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meadow_of_heathers/pseuds/meadow_of_heathers
Summary: Celeste Vasseur is only in Paris because it's where her mother's grave lies. However, a startling discovery ties her to the city, effectively trapping her in its wide boulevard streets with the supervillain Hawkmoth wrecking terror. She soon discovers it's not as bad as it looks- as long as she has her friends by her side, that is.Follow Celeste as she discovers things she never knew about herself. There's a lot more to this girl than anyone suspected, and with a strange living situation and a new weight on her shoulders, she's got some issues to deal with. And with a quickly growing list of enemies, how can Celeste manage to keep track of her friends, her friends who want to be more than that, and her friends who aren't what they seem? It's hard enough when the lists don't change, but soon Celeste realizes some of her friends are anything but friendly- in fact, some would rather see her six feet under, buried next to her mother. One thing for sure- she's not going down without a fight.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Original Female Character(s), Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Félix Graham de Vanily/Original Character(s), Juleka Couffaine/Original Character(s), Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Luka Couffaine/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 45
Kudos: 54





	1. an unexpected interaction

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I don't know if anyone will ever read this, but this is my first fanfic (that I'm posting anyway) and it's purely because I'm bored, so here's hoping it's not terrible.

“Celeste, if you don’t leave now, you’re going to be late,” my dad yells. “Bad look for your first day.”

I shove my notebook into my backpack, zipping it up. “Coming!” I yell. I twist to look over my shoulder at the mirror, adjusting my shirt. I hope I look okay. My mom always said my hair looked pretty pulled back when she was alive, so I have the front strands pulled back and braided together, the rest of my long, blonde hair remaining loose. I’m wearing my favorite outfit- a purple, scoop-necked tank top with a grey-and-white flannel shirt hanging open over it, black high-waisted jeans with extra buttons, and a pair of purple Converse high-tops. Purple’s my favorite color. I touch my face, wishing I knew something about makeup. Something to make my weirdly pale skin less noticeable. I shake my head. “Mom said to love yourself,” I say to my reflection. “You look great.” I take a deep breath, trying to soak in positive energy, but in my head I just keep thinking about how I'm in the fashion capital of the world and I haven't left the house in months and god, I don't know what to wear and I'm going to look ridiculous. "You got this."

Shouldering my backpack, I take one last look in the mirror before dashing out of my room and skidding into the hallway, dashing down the stairs into the kitchen. “Coffee?” I ask my dad.

He shakes his head. “You don’t have time to make coffee, Celeste.” He gives me a stern look that, on a big guy like him, could be downright scary if you didn't know he's a big softie.

“Oh,” I say, shoulders sinking. I love coffee. And I didn't sleep because I was so nervous for today. So I'd really like some.

“So I made you some!” my dad says with a tiny chuckle. He doesn’t laugh often nowadays, so I take the travel cup from him and set it on the counter and squeeze him tight.

“Thanks, Dad,” I say, my face pressed into his shirt.

“Anytime, sweetie. Here,” he says, patting his pockets. “Ah. Your mother told me to give you this on your first day back.” He pulls out a little box. It’s an octagon with a strange red design on top. “It’s a necklace she used to wear all the time when we were kids, but she set it aside for you one day.” He clears his throat. "She really wanted you to have it."

I take the box from him, holding it in my hands. “Dad,” I say, my voice choked.

“Ah, don’t cry,” he says. “She wouldn’t want you to cry, now, would she?” He wipes a tear out of the corner of my eye, and I sniff.

“No,” I say, laughing to myself. “She wouldn’t.” I tuck the necklace into a pocket of my backpack, telling myself I’ll look at it later when I’m alone. Anything from Mom deserves to be savored and looked at for a long time, without anyone having the ability to spoil the moment.

“Now cheer up, get along. You’ll be late to school.” My dad pats me on the back, and I grab my travel cup, barrelling out the door as I blow him a kiss. He catches it, holding it against his chest as he closes the door and I get to sprinting to school.

We moved here, to Paris, only about seven months ago. Five of those months we were here because my mother wanted to die here and be buried here. I still don’t understand why, but she has a tombstone here now. Two of them were spent grieving. I’m still grieving, but now, halfway through the year, I have to face the music and attend school. The Collège Françoise Dupont, to be specific. I live close, in a townhouse we’re probably going to get booted out of since my dad doesn’t have a job yet and we can’t afford it.

The stone stairs loom up ahead of me, and I take a deep breath, totally terrified, and then the bell rings, ruining me of my moment and forcing me to sprint headlong into the school. Everyone’s going to class and it’s all so loud and I want to clap my hands over my ears and run, but I can’t because Mom wouldn’t want me to.

“Excuse me,” I say, turning to the closest person, a girl in a yellow cardigan. “Do you know where Madame Bustier’s class is?” I really hope I remember the name; the principal of this school sent us a letter last week telling me my schedule and everything, but I don’t have time to get it out of my backpack. The girl scoffs at me, rolling her eyes, and I shrink.

“Sabrina!” the girl yells. “Will you please tell this rando that I am not some random passerby?” She scoffs. “This is ridiculous. Utterly ree-diculous!” She stalks off. I bite at the inside of my lip; a habit my mother worked with me to break that came back after she died. Every tiny bite is a bite of shame, knowing she'd tilt her head just so, giving me the look that told me to stop.

A girl with orange hair and an unfortunate sweater outfit scuttles forward. “Are you new?” She blinks, looking a bit like a lost puppy.

“Yes,” I say, flustered. “I’m new.” I try not to look as nervous as I feel.

“Well, this is Chloe, and you can’t just bother her with trivial things, okay?” Sabrina blinks again. Her eyes are huge. Wow. “And it’s just up those stairs, first door on the right.” Chloe’s already halfway up the stairs, and Sabrina scuttles after her.

I take a deep breath, committing the names to memory. Chloe is bitchy, Sabrina’s her minion. Got it. Then I turn to follow the two of them, walking quickly to the top of the stairs. I stand outside the door for a moment, gathering myself, and then I slowly open the door, peering inside.

A classroom full of people stares back at me, and I almost close the door, but the teacher pulls it open. “Ah, one of our new students! Everyone, please welcome Celeste Vasseur to your class.”

People smile and wave and say hi, and I stare at the floor, wanting very much to be out of here. Madame Bustier turns to me. “You can sit in the back there; the other student will be here to sit with you shortly. You two can lean on each other during the day.” She smiles at me. She's got a pretty smile. "That way you're not alone in starting in the middle of the year. It's kind of funny, that both of you are starting on the same day."

"Yeah," I say, remembering to look up at the last second. "Weird coincidence." I go back to staring at my shoes. There's a dirt smudge on the toe of my right shoe.

"Well, please tell me if you need any help throughout the day," Madame Bustier says kindly. She smiles again, and I'm reminded of Mom. Mom was always smiling.

“Thank you,” I say, trying really hard not to mumble. I climb up nervously, but I’m too nervous; I trip on the first step. Chloe laughs.

“Marinette, looks like we have a student as clumsy as you are,” she says in her nasally voice, casting me a sneering look. My cheeks flush, and I climb quickly and scoot into my seat in the back corner, letting my hair fall into my face to hide me.

“Hey!” a girl with hair so black it looks blue tied into pigtails. She scowls at Chloe, then turns to me and shrugs. I give her a half-smile. She turns to the girl next to her and starts whispering furiously. I sink in my chair. Dear god, what am I doing wrong? I'd go home right now if I didn't know my mother wouldn't like it.

Mom, you're everywhere today. I can't get you out of my head, and I need to hold it together. I can't cry in class. I can't cry, period.

Someone knocks on the door just then, and Madame goes to open it again. In steps a boy in a suit, with blonde hair slicked back to be flat and perfect. His skin is tanned, his eyes are green, and his face is pinched like he smelled something terrible a couple seconds ago.

“Our other new student.” Madame chuckles. “You’re a bit late, Mr-”

“Felix,” he says. “Felix Graham de Vanily.” I sit up when I hear the name, my hair falling away from my face so I can get a clear look. It can't be.

“Well, you can sit in the back, with Mademoiselle Celeste, there.” He turns his head, and his eyes meet mine, and we both experience recognition at the same time.

“No,” he says with a sneer. “What are you doing here?”


	2. things we'd rather both forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!! if you're reading this then you didn't hate the first part! (hopefully)
> 
> leave comments! please please please tell me all of your thoughts. even if you just want to say "hey this is terrible" please leave a comment. (but if you just want to say it sucks tell me why it sucks! tell me everything you hate so i can do it better next time. i want to improve) :)

-*-three years ago-*-

“Sweetie, why don’t you go get a candy from the vending machine? We won’t hear about your mother’s tests for a little bit.” My father hands me a couple coins from the depths of his pocket, counting them quickly. “That should be enough for a chocolate bar, eh?”

I nod, swallowing, my heart in my throat. “She’ll be okay, right? Like last time?”

My dad falters. “I- sure she will, sweetheart.” He’s lying. I can see it in the way he fiddles with his fingers.

With one last look at my mom in her hospital bed, I exit the room, quietly letting the door close behind me with a click.

I don’t need to search for the vending machine; my mom’s cancer means we’re here frequently enough that I know where most everything is. I’m halfway down the hall when a door slams and a boy tumbles out, his face red and tear-streaked.

“Are- are you okay?” I ask quietly, stepping towards him. He shakes his head, a choked sob emerging from his lips. He slides down the wall into a crumpled mass, his hands mussing his hair. “Can I- can I help at all?”

“Go away,” he hisses. “Unless you can turn back to when my dad didn’t have fucking lung cancer. If you can’t miraculously heal someone, go the fuck away.” His body shakes.

I cast a last look over my shoulder, deciding that if he wants me to leave, I should leave. I make it to the vending machines without an issue, and I get my chocolate bar. But the boy weighs on my mind more than I thought he would.

I walk back to him, sliding down the wall to sit next to him. Unwrapping the chocolate, I snap it in half, holding half out to him. “Chocolate gives you something else to think about,” I whisper. “Other than disease.”

“I told you to go away,” he growls.

I don't sat anything for a second. “My mom has cancer. Leukemia.” I take a bite of my half of the chocolate. “It’s not as bad as it could be yet. But it’s not getting better.” I swallow, the chocolate suddenly bitter. “You’re not alone.”

“My dad,” he whispers. “My dad has months, they said. Maybe days.” His hand snakes out from his curled form, and he takes the chocolate. “He’s breathing through a goddamn machine.”

“I’m sorry,” I say. Even though my mom’s just down the hall, I don’t know what to say to that.

“No, you’re not.” The boy laughs, lifting his face finally. The fluorescent lights catch his green eyes. “You’re glad it’s not you.”

“It probably will be,” I say softly.

He looks me in the eyes and says to me what no one else will. “Probably.”

“That’s a dick thing to say,” I say, turning my head away from him to stare at the wall.

“Yeah,” the boy says. “It’s true, though.” I fight back tears that form in my eyes.

We saw each other more and more, as my mother’s kidney gave out and the boy’s father tried to hold on. The boy and I grew to avoid each other, as neither of us liked what we saw. He saw a girl who still had her family intact, a girl who wasn’t in danger just yet of losing a family member, a girl who could possibly still get out of this. I saw a boy with a mother who would be there for him as he grew, a boy who was about to lose his father, a boy going through what I would go through in less than three years. Seeing the other was a reminder of everything terrible in the world.

We checked out of the hospital the same day; my mother was missing a kidney and the boy was missing a father.

-*-present day-*-

“Felix, please sit down,” Madame Bustier says, and with a grunt, Felix slides into the seat next to me. “You and Celeste are both new, so I thought it’d be nice to sit next to someone who’s experiencing the same thing as you.”

It’s not the first time we’ve shared an experience.

She begins talking about a book the class is reading and Felix rolls his eyes. “This coursework is so easy. I’m farther along with my studies at home, for crying out loud.” He pulls a little black notebook out of his jacket and starts scribbling in it.

“Some of us don’t have the materials to study with at home,” I hiss. “So would you mind not talking so I can hear her?”

“You know, if you can’t hear her, you should move to a different seat,” Felix says. His fingers drum the desk. His pen scratches the paper.

“I don’t want to cause trouble.” I fold my arms and rest my head on the desk, staring straight at Madame Bustier. If Felix says one more word, I don’t know if I’ll cry, run, or hit him. He and I don’t exactly have the best track record.

“So your assignment for the week is to write up a book report for Le Siècle de Louis XIV with the person sitting at your table. Use the things we’ve learned about Voltaire to go in-depth, students!” Madame Bustier says. “I want a typed report and an illustration of what the two of you consider a turning point in the book.”

“Madame Bustier,” Felix says, raising his hand. “Celeste and I haven’t been here, as you know, and I don’t think the two of us should be partners when neither of us has any prior knowledge.”

“Typical,” I say under my breath. “Trying to avoid me.”

“Have either of you read the book?” Madame Bustier asks.  
“I have,” Felix says.

“I haven’t,” I say.

“Well, Felix, if you’ve read the book there’s no reason why you can’t help Celeste with it.” Madame Bustier smiles again, and again I’m reminded of my mom. “You two can have the weekend to work, if necessary.”

Felix opens his mouth, but can’t seem to find another excuse. “Give it up,” I groan as the class fills with chatter of partners working on their projects. “We’re stuck together.”

“Offense taken,” Felix mutters.

“I’m sorry, do you actually want to be partners with me? Because I was under the impression you wanted to be as far away from me as possible.” I glare at him.

He shrugs. “You’re not exactly fighting my attempts to separate us.”

I open my mouth, then close it. “Let’s just get this project done.”

“I need to reread the book,” Felix says haughtily. “You should probably at least read it once.”

“You don’t remember enough to sum it up for me?” I say hopelessly.

“No, we’ll have to meet up after school at some point this week.” Felix sighs. “What day works for you?”

“Not today,” I say. “My dad wants to see me after school. First day and all.”

“Your dad,” Felix says slowly. “Does that mean. . .?”

I swallow, tears collecting in my eyes again. I rub them with my fingers. “Yeah, she passed away this summer. About seven months ago.”

“I’m sorry,” Felix says. “Really.” I know he’s thinking of the hospital hallway.

“Let’s do tomorrow,” I say. “So we can figure out how long we’ll need.”

“I can’t read the book in a night! Wednesday.” Felix narrows his eyes. “Your place or mine?”

“I’ll have to check with my dad,” I say. “Do you care?”

“I’m staying with my uncle and cousin right now, so I don’t know if I could have you over. But I’ll ask.” Felix turns away from me. “My house is probably better anyway.”

“I- why would you even assume that?”

He sniffs. “It’s a nice house.”

“I’ll text my dad,” I say, pulling out my phone. I tap my messages app, smiling a bit when I see I have one from my dad.

-I got a job!-

-that’s great! what is it?-

-I’m a bodyguard for a nice woman and her son.-

I almost laugh. My dad, the cinnamon roll, a bodyguard? He’s pretty big, though. Makes sense. And he’s strong- if I distract myself with chocolate, he distracts himself with exercise and workouts.

My phone buzzes. I look down.

-It’s actually a full-time job. She wants me to move into her place. You and I would have separate rooms. It’s a nice place.-

-when do we move?-

-I’m getting our stuff together right now, actually-

My dad sends a photo of our townhouse, and I actually gasp. He’s stripped it down to nothing.

-We couldn’t keep the rental for much longer anyway. Sorry it’s so quick.-

-i mean i’m surprised, but makes sense. if the new place is nice i’ll get over it, i guess.-

I bite my thumb.

-do u need help moving stuff?-

-No, not at all! The other bodyguard is helping me. You can come to the new place straight after school.-

-what’s the address?-

I bite the inside of my cheek, sharp enough to taste blood in my mouth. It’s so fast. Mom picked out the block the townhouse was on. And now we’re leaving it? It’s too fast. It’s too fast.

My breathing gets shallow, and I realize the stress of the day and the anxiety of moving might just make me have an anxiety attack. I can’t have that. I focus on deep breaths, imagining I’m breathing a box shape. One-two-three-four inhale up the side, one-two-three-four exhale across the top, one-two-three-four inhale down the side, one-two-three-four exhale across the bottom.

“When you’re done breathing loudly for no reason, what’d your dad say?” Felix’s snarky voice sneaks into my thoughts. I take one last deep breath to restrain from hitting him.

“We’re moving,” I say flatly. My phone buzzes with a text from him. “So I don’t think this will work at my place, wherever that is.” I look at the text. My dad sent me the address and something else.

-You won’t have to walk home, either! The other bodyguard will pick you up. He’s not much of a talker. Not like your dad.-

My dad’s trying really hard. I should be better at this for him.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to ask my cousin's bodyguard about having people over. Get him to ask Gabriel.” Felix goes back to scribbling in his notebook.

“Wait,” I say, horror dawning on me. “Who will you ask?”

“My cousin’s bodyguard? Gabriel, my uncle, has been pretty distant with me, so I go through the bodyguard, even though he's not much of a talker. Soon I’ll have my own bodyguard to go through, though. My mom said she hired one today.”

“I think your mom hired my dad,” I say. The universe is cruel. “She hired my fucking dad.”

Felix’s eyes jump. “You must be joking.”

“Nope.” I slump over the desk. Not only do I have to uproot everything I sort of know in one day, I have to move in with Felix. Live with Felix. Go to school with Felix. Spend all my time with the one person I cannot stand.

This day cannot get worse.


	3. some intriguing people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello :) this appears to be working out somewhat. if you're still reading, yay! :) i'm trying to write a new chapter every day, so let's see how long i keep that up.

Lunch is going to become the highlight of my day, I can sense it.

Lunch does not have to be eaten with Felix Graham de Vanily, for one.

But that doesn’t mean I know who I want to eat with at all.

So far, I’ve talked to three people in my class today. Chloe, Sabrina, and Felix. Chloe doesn’t like me, I don’t particularly like Sabrina, and Felix and I have a mutual dislike.

I wonder if I can eat lunch in the hall. The lunchroom is gorgeous, with big windows and lots of flowering plants. It’s also very narrow. If I try to hide in the back, everyone will see me try to hide in the back.

My hands clench the tray tighter, and I take a deep breath. The hallway looks pretty nice. Lunch might not be so nice.

“Celeste, right?” A hand touches my shoulder and I almost jump out of my skin. It’s the girl with the pigtails, Marinette. “Do you want to come eat with me and my friends?”

“Oh, um,” I say, swallowing hard. “That’d be great, actually. Thanks!”

“Oh, no problem!” she says, laughing. “Here, come with me.” She leads me to a table sort of in the middle and sets her tray down as she sits, patting the seat next to her. “I’m Marinette, by the way. Nice to meet you!” She grins. This girl is adorable.

“Thanks for inviting me to eat with you,” I say, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I was debating eating in the hallway.”

She laughs. “Don’t worry about that! You’re always welcome here.” Her friends come towards the table with their lunch trays, and she points them out to me. “That’s Alya, with the red hair.”

“Hey girl,” Alya says, waving. She’s attractive, not gonna lie. She carries an air of confidence around her that I find myself drawn to.

“Then that’s Rose and Juleka there,” Marinette says. Rose is a tiny pixie of a girl with short blonde hair and a cutesy pink outfit. Juleka is tall, willowy, with purple hair. She gives me a serene smile from behind her bangs.

“Hi,” Rose squeals. She and Juleka sit down next to each other, Rose practically on Juleka’s lap. I get the feeling that they’re either really close friends or dating. I wonder how I could find that out without annoying anyone.

“Then that’s Alix and Mylene,” Marinette says. Alix has a daredevil spark in her eyes and electric pink hair. She’s wearing a helmet indoors. Mylene’s hair is pulled back and multicolored. She has a sweet face, soft and round.

Alix leans across the table. “You do any extreme sports?” Her fingers twiddle the skateboard at her feet.

I shake my head. “No, never really my style.”

She huffs, crossing her arms. “Guess I’ll keep going to the skatepark alone.”

“Oh, Alix,” Alya says, pushing her gently. “So Celeste, how long have you been in Paris?”

“Not long,” I say. “Anything I should know about it?”

“Nothing other than Hawkmoth and the akuma stuff,” Rose says. “Ladybug and Chat Noir and all that.”

“Wait, what?” I say. “You are making up words now.”

They explain how Hawkmoth is a supervillain intent on taking miraculouses from Ladybug and Chat Noir, and how he creates villains to do it. “He sends these little evil butterflies called akumas after people with strong negative emotions, and when they hit you they turn you into a villain under his control,” Alya says. “Ladybug and Chat Noir fight them. You can read about it on my Ladyblog!” She flips her phone around to show me a blog with photos of people in tight bodysuits.

“How- how often does this happen?” I say, biting the inside of my cheek.

“Semi-frequently,” Marinette says. “That pigeon man gets akumatized a lot. Hawkmoth strikes at least a couple times a month, usually.” She thinks. “Weekly, sometimes.” She shrugs. “I mean, it varies since it depends on other people’s negative emotions.”

“You’re kidding,” I say. I mean, I know I’ve hid inside for seven months, but surely I wouldn’t have missed a whole supervillain thing. “Have any of you been turned evil or whatever?”

“Everyone here but Marinette, actually.” Alya says. “Everyone in our class but Marinette and Adrien. And you and Felix, I guess.”

“How does that work?” I say, turning to Marinette. “Managing to avoid it?”

She blushes. “I- I mean I guess I’m good at staying positive? Yeah, I’m a positive person! That’s it.” Her voice grows higher and higher with every word. She grins, but her eyes look somewhat desperate. “And Adrien’s just- he’s just-” She sighs, resting her head in her hands.

“Marinette’s got a huge crush on Adrien Agreste,” Juleka says, nodding across the cafeteria to a boy with messy blonde hair and green eyes. “She’s too nervous to tell him how she feels, though.”

“I’ve tried,” Marinette says. “But it never works out.”

“Oh,” I say. “He looks a lot like Felix.” They have the same skin tone, and hair color, and eye color. Hell, if the two of them didn’t have completely different last names I’d guess they were brothers.

“They’re cousins,” Mylene says. “I think that’s what I heard.”

“Oh,” I say again. “I think I’m going to be living with him.” I give a brief explanation of my dad’s new job. “I think we’re living with him and Felix. We have rooms in the house so my dad never has to leave his side.”

“You get to live,” Marinette says, “with Adrien?” Her eyes get huge. Her lips part ever so slightly, and she gives me the same look as one might get from a goldfish.

“Maybe one day you can come over and we can all hang out?” I say nervously. Curses. I’m coming on too eager and I’m going to drive all of these people away.

“I’d love that!” Marinette squeals. She launches herself at me with a hug, knocking us both onto the floor. I make a squeaking screaming noise as she tackles me, but she doesn’t seem to notice.

“Marinette, off,” Alya says, reaching over and yanking her friend off me. “Sorry, Celeste.” She fixes Marinette with a glare that’s more teasing than reproachful. “Girl, you gotta control yourself.”

“Sorry,” Marinette says, blushing.

“So Celeste,” Alix says, leaning forward on her elbows. “If not extreme sports, what are you into?”

“Um, I don’t really know.” I blink. “I used to make mixes of songs and stuff. But it’s been a while.” I sit up straighter. “I still draw sometimes, though!” I haven’t touched a mix since my mom went into the hospital the last time.

“You should swing by the boat sometime,” Juleka says. “Meet my brother. He’s into music, too.” She smiles at me.

“We actually have a band!” Rose chirps. “It’s called Kitty Section. I’m lead singer, Juleka’s bass, her brother’s on guitar, and Ivan does the drums!” She beams. “You could write us a song or something!”

“Who’s Ivan?” I ask.

“My boyfriend,” Mylene says, a little blush forming on her cheeks. “He’s the big guy over there.” She points to a boy in a dark t-shirt.

“Boyfriend, schmoyfriend,” Alix says, rolling her eyes. “Boring!”

Alya shrugs, a hint of a smile on her lips. “You got a boy, Celeste?”

“No,” I say quickly. “God, no.”

“You more into. . . girls?” Juleka says in her quiet voice. Her eyes twinkle.

“I go both ways, but dating hasn’t really been on my mind recently,” I say. “So no boyfriend or girlfriend here.” My mom always asked me about cute boys at my old school, and once I came out, she asked about the girls, too. She and my dad were always supportive. My eyes prickle with fresh tears.

“What do you think of that project?” Alya asks Marinette. “Seems like a lot of work. Nino says Adrien’s going to be impossible to coordinate with, what with his dad and all.”

“I don’t know when I’ll find the time,” Marinette says, and just like that, Rose and Juleka are talking and Alix is drifting off into a nap and Mylene is sitting in Ivan’s lap. I get up, placing my lunch tray in a pile with some other discarded ones, and excuse myself to use the bathroom.

When I finally find the bathroom, I slip into a stall and sit on the toilet, letting the tears out. God, I miss her. I miss her so much. I don’t know how to describe it, the absence of a piece of my soul. I mean, she’s my mom. She raised me, cared for me. She let me cry on her shoulder and helped my dad understand what it meant to have a bisexual daughter. And now she’s gone, and I’m looking for her but I can never find her, because she’s gone somewhere I can never go.

I grab a wad of toilet paper, wiping the tears off my cheeks and the snot off my nose as I quietly cry. It keeps coming, though. I keep crying because I keep thinking I need to stop. That’s what Mom would say. She’d tell me to gather myself, hold my head high. Let it out later.

But is there even a later? Later I’ll go to a new house, a new room, with new people and Felix. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to talk to my dad, since he might be working, might not. I need to try harder to be happy for him, because we really do need the money, but I want my dad to myself for the evening. Instead I’ll be working on a project for a book I haven’t read but looks dull as anything with Felix Graham de Vanily.

Breathe a box, Celeste. One-two-three-four inhale up one side, one-two-three-four exhale across the top, one-two-three-four inhale down the other side, one-two-three-four exhale across the bottom. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

I sniff, hugging myself. I think I might have cried myself out for the moment. My mom taught me the breathing trick. I use it when I get stressed, and it’s like she’s looking out for me again.  
I hear a fizzle at the entrance to the bathroom, and it’s a strange noise. Sniffing, I exit the stall. What the hell fizzles? My head goes straight to something like a bomb or a firecracker or something on fire. I’m filled with a petrifying fear.

I turn my head to look at the door and am met face-to-face with a deep purple butterfly, careening wildly towards me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, comment please!


	4. it turns out i'm weirder than i thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: i know there are guesses on various character's heights in this show. but they have gabriel at seven feet and adrien at around 4 foot 11. which is kind of gross to me, so that's one of the things i'm ignoring for this fic. i'm keeping the same comparison- mylene's really short, adrien's taller than marinette, that sort of thing, but i'm making up my own numbers. this won't be the only thing i deviate from most likely, but we'll see as we go!
> 
> thanks for reading to this point! so far a chapter a day is working out. i'm gonna keep going with it (hopefully) :)

The butterfly flies at me and in my head I recall my lunchtime conversation, the one where they told me about the evil butterflies.

Needless to say I hit the deck, and it flies over my head, then spins. It comes at me again and I scramble backwards, scooting my ass across the bathroom floor. It flies, I scoot. I know it’s coming at me for negative emotions, but fun fact: I can’t exactly erase the grief of my mother dying. 

I scoot backwards again as it dives at me, rolling to the side and pushing myself back, and my head hits the wall. Pinned, I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to cry because I’m going to doom my chances of having any friends once I freak out on them. The akuma’s going to get me, and that’s just gonna be the icing on the cake today.

Then I feel wings brush my face. My breathing turns shallow and I tip my head back, wincing. Shouldn’t I feel pain, hear Hawkmoth’s voice in my head?

I open my eyes, and the akuma flutters. It dives at me again, striking my hand. And again, hitting my leg, again my arms, again my hair. Then it twists and zeros in on the wad of toilet paper still in my hand. It dives, hitting the paper clenched tightly in my fist.

“Ah!” The paper turns hot and I drop it quickly. The akuma turns again, fluttering in the air staring directly at me. Then it dives at me and fizzles again, diving into my head.

I gasp as an excruciating pain fills my head, and I roll onto my side, my hands clutching my skull as I scream.

“What. . . are you. . .” a man’s voice hisses. He’s in my head. In my head. I scream again. “How can you. . . resist my. . . akuma. . .” His voice is fuzzy, almost nonexistent, but it carries pain and loss, and a terrible darkness fills my vision.

“Get out of my head!” I howl. In the distance, I hear the bathroom door open and someone’s hands on my side. “Get out, get out!” I push at it with all my might.

“This… isn’t over…” the voice says, almost vengeful. I cry out as I hear a fizzle, and there’s a sudden relief as the akuma comes back out of my skull.

Juleka’s the one leaning over me, gaping as the akuma flies out of me. “It was in your head?”

I nod, rubbing my temples as tears stream out of my eyes. “He couldn’t get me, so he- he-”

“Shh,” Juleka murmurs. “You’re okay, you’re safe now.” She pulls me into her lap, gesturing over her shoulder. Rose, Mylene, Alix, and Alya file in, circling me.

“He couldn’t get in?” Alya says. “The akuma didn’t just. . . get you?”

“It hit me and bounced,” I mumble. “And then it- it phased through my head.”

“Where’d it go?” a new voice says, and I look up and am greeted by a girl wearing a spotted jumpsuit. “The akuma, where is it?” This must be Ladybug. She has an air of confidence around her like Alya, but it’s more concrete, heroic.

“It’s over there,” Juleka says, pointing to a corner of the room where it’s trying to escape through a window. Ladybug cocks up her yo-yo (who fights with a yo-yo?) right as it shakes, and the deep purple melts off its wings, turning snow-white before our eyes.

“Dang it,” Ladybug says. “Well, I’m glad it’s not going to affect anyone else.” She turns to me. “Did I hear that right? Hawkmoth’s akuma couldn’t affect you?”

I weakly push myself to a sitting position. I’m shaking all over. “N-no, it just bounced off. It hit something in my hand, and it got really hot, but I dropped it.”

“Well, that’s a lucky skill to have,” Ladybug says. “I haven’t seen you around much, are you new here?”

“Y-yeah.” 

“Make sure you keep an eye on your negative emotions in the future, okay? Mindfulness helps. What got you down this time?” She kneels down next to me.

I stare at Juleka’s shoes when I answer her. “My mom died this summer.”

Ladybug puts her hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I guess it’s a good thing the akuma can bounce off, then.” I nod. She stands up. “I’d best be off, then. Nice meeting you.” With that, she jogs out the door.

“I’m sorry about your mom,” Juleka says. I look up into her eyes, peaceful pools of amber. “That really sucks.”

One by one, the other girls offer their condolences as my head stops burning. When Marinette dashes in a moment later- “I looked away for one second and you were all gone!”- she walks in on a group hug, and I feel warm and safe and happy.

The feeling ends when we go back to class and I have to sit next to Felix again.

Juleka explains the situation as to why we’re late to Madame Bustier, who send me up to my seat with permission to call my dad at any time. Shaking, I slide into my seat next to Felix and put my head down.

“We’re supposed to be analyzing poetry,” he says snarkily. “Not taking a nap.”

“N-not now, Felix,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady and failing. Hawkmoth’s voice keeps looping around in my head, along with the fear when the darkness settled over my eyes.

He pushes a worksheet under my arms. “If you feel like it,” he says softly.

When school ends, I find Juleka. “Hey,” she says, packing up her bag. “You feeling better?”

“Why’d you come look for me?” I ask. 

She shrugs. “You looked like a small fish in a big pond. You looked scared and shy.” She closes her bag and drapes it over your shoulder. “I’ve been there. I guess I wanted to see if I could help. Then you screamed.”

“Thank you,” I say, looking at the floor. We’re both wearing purple shoes. “Thank you for coming to look for me, Juleka.”

“Swing by the boat anytime, Celeste,” she says, and then she turns and loops her arm through Rose’s and they’re gone.

Felix waits for me at the door with Adrien. “You’re holding us up,” he sneers.

“Felix, go easy on her,” Adrien says. “I can’t believe you resisted an akuma. That’s incredibly hard to do, you know.” He holds the door for me as I scuttle out.

“Yeah,” I say, biting my cheek again. “Sorry I held you up.”

“Oh, no problem. The gorilla probably isn’t even here yet.” Adrien checks his watch. “We got out of class a bit early.” He waves to a couple people as we cross the school yard.

“The gorilla?” I ask, trying to stifle a laugh.

“Oh, I call him that because he’s big and he doesn’t talk. Don’t know his name,” Adrien says, laughing. “I’m Adrien, by the way. Felix said you might be living with us?”

“Maybe,” I say, all traces of a laugh gone. “My dad might be Felix’s bodyguard.”

Felix grins. “My mom’s so protective. I suppose I am going to be a model, though.”

“Just don’t take my gigs,” Adrien warns as we walk out the front door. “Ah, he’s here.” A silver car is pulled up at the front of the school. A huge, hulking man holds the door open for Adrien. I see why they call him Gorilla.

Adrien grins. “Hey,” he says to his bodyguard before scooting into the backseat. Felix follows him, then me. Adrien’s digging through his bag when someone in the front seat speaks.

“Adrien,” a deep voice says. I look up from my phone to see who it is.

“Father!” Adrien says. “Why- why are you picking us up?”

“I wanted to meet our new housemate,” the man says. This is Gabriel Agreste. My father texted me about him, saying he keeps to himself and shouldn’t be disturbed unnecessarily. “Celeste Vassuer, is it?”

“Yes- yes sir,” I stammer. “Pleased to meet you, sir.” His eyes zero in on mine in the rearview mirror as Gorilla gets back into the car and pulls away from the curb. His eyes are a strange shade of blue, very pale, like ice.

“I heard that you resisted an akuma today, Miss Vasseur,” Gabriel Agreste says quietly. “Any idea how you did that?”

“No, sir,” I say quickly. “It flew into me, though. It hurt.” I think back to the agony, the feeling of my head splitting. “It was very painful, sir.”

“Perhaps you would allow me to run some tests,” he says cooly. “See if we can replicate whatever you have and pass it along to my son.”

“Father, that’s not necessary. I haven’t been akumatized yet!” Adrien says. “Celeste has enough on her plate without your tests-”

“I’d like to help if I can,” I say quietly. The last time someone did tests on me, it was to see if I could be a bone marrow donor for my mom. Those tests came up negative. “But the akuma still. . . it still hurt me, sir. I’m not sure whatever I have is foolproof.”

“Whatever it is,” Gabriel says, “we should learn more about it.”

We ride in silence the rest of the way home.

The house is huge.

The house is gigantic.

If I wasn’t slightly scared of the man in the passenger’s seat, I’d say something.

We drive through a gate, and then Gorilla pulls up to the front of the house, parking the car and opening Gabriel’s door for him. He then opens my door, and I scramble out of the car and come face to face with Gabriel Agreste.

This man is really tall and intimidating. Like, really tall. The guy’s got to be at least seven feet, oh my god. He looks me over, an up-and-down, and I try really hard not to look scared, but he’s got to be at least seven feet tall and I’m an insect compared to him. Granted, I’m an insect compared to most people- I don’t even clear five feet- but he makes me feel insignificant.

“I’ll keep you posted,” Gabriel says, and with that he turns and walks into the house.

Adrien walks up to me. “Don’t let my dad intimidate you,” he whispers in my ear, bending over and placing his hand on my shoulder. “And you don’t have to do his tests if you don’t want to.”

“I want to help people,” I say to him. “But thanks.”

He gives me an easy smile. “C’mon. You gotta see where you live, eh?”

I smile back. “I want to see my dad, yeah.” Adrien waves me up after him, and I start climbing the stairs.

Felix jogs to catch up with me. “Remember, your dad’s not yours anymore,” he hisses into my ear. “He’s mine.” With that, he turns and jogs to catch up with Adrien.

I stop dead in my tracks for a moment before I remind myself that Felix is a dick.

When we get inside, my jaw drops. Everything is big and nice and rich-looking, wow. I’ve never been somewhere so nice. I never had rich, luxurious things like this growing up. Hospital bills sapped the cash in my family.

“There’s my girl!” I turn when I hear my dad’s voice, and he’s standing at the top of a staircase. He jogs down to the bottom, where I launch myself into his arms. “I heard about your day, sweetie,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”

“It’s okay,” I say, closing my eyes and squeezing him tightly. “I missed you, though.”

“I missed you too, sweetheart.” My dad sets me down and I smile. My dad’s the best, and that’s an indisputable fact.

Someone clears their throat, and I jump. A beautiful woman stands behind my dad. She taps his shoulder. “This is your daughter, Charles?”

“Yes, Amelie. Celeste, this is Miss Amelie, the woman nice enough to give me a job. You’ve met her son, Felix, right?” My dad’s eyes look at me and they’re almost pleading.

“Yes, he and I sit next to each other in class. Nice to meet you, Miss Amelie.” I give her a close-lipped smile.

“Nice to meet you as well, dear. Charles, you need to meet my son and then go see what Adrien’s bodyguard does at this time.” My dad squeezes my shoulder as he leaves. Amelie narrows her eyes at me. “Your room is down the hall, child.”

“Thank you,” I say, but she’s already gone. I take a deep breath, then go off to find my room.

There’s a sticky note that says “Child” on the door of one of the rooms in the hallway. Pulling it off, I push open the door. The room has a violet color scheme, with a lavender comforter on the single bed, pale violet walls, and vividly dark purple painted bookshelves. There’s a window, and a white dresser, and a closet.

I turn around in circles, then place my bag on the bench at the foot of the bed and turn to the bookshelves. They’re dusty, with dozens of books that appear to have lived here since they were written. All of them are dull-looking books about history or philosophy or things some people find fascinating but I simply do not. Le Siècle de Louis XIV is on the shelf, which I do not take as a good omen.

I turn back to my bag suddenly, remembering something. Unzipping the smallest front pocket, I pull out the box my father gave me this morning. The one that has a necklace my mother used to wear.

I think it’s time to collect another piece of my mother. I climb onto the bed, sitting cross-legged in the middle with the strange octagonal box in my lap. I trace the strange red lines on the top, then take a deep breath.

With an eager heart and a damaged mind, I ease the box open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave your comments, people, you know i'll love each and every one of them. <3


	5. a strange insect and the events that follow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's longer than the rest! sorry! i need to figure out what length to make everything. also we're kind of deviating from canon a bit in this chapter and the past one, and i swear i have a good reason and it's going to work out and be cool. :) please let me know what you think!

My fingers open the box, and immediately a bright white light erupts, filling my room. I cover my face with my hand, cringing from the sudden flash. Then the light  _ moves _ , and it circles around me, putting me in the center of a spiral. It stops in front of my face, and I gasp because it’s a tiny, insect-looking thing.

“Hello!” it chirps, and I gasp, dropping the box and scrambling away from it. In my panic, I fall off my bed with a crash. “Oh my goodness, you’re jumpy, aren’t you?”

“What- what are you?” I gasp. It flies over the edge of the bed and stares at me with its huge violet eyes.

“I am Eikka,” the insect says. “Your kwami.”

“I’m hallucinating,” I say. “I’m definitely hallucinating.”

“You’re not hallucinating things,” Eikka says. “I promise, I am one hundred percent real.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I say. “What the hell’s a kwami, anyway?”

“We kwamis have been here since the dawn of time,” Eikka says. “We fuse with humans such as yourself to grant you increased speed, strength, agility, powers that can help you fight evil, blah blah blah. I’m the kwami of the swan, nice to meet you. Celeste, right?” She flies over my head. “Your room sure is dusty.”

“It’s not- how do you know my name?” I sit up, slowly. She does look a bit like a swan. She’s white, with a little beak and two tiny wings.

“I listen, obviously.” She flies through my bookshelf-  _ through  _ my bookshelf. “You like history?”

“Not really,” I say. She sniffs. “What do you mean, powers?”

“Ok!” she says, twirling in the air. “Step one is to put on your miraculous. It’s what lets me manifest in a physical form.” She flies over to the box, gesturing with a wing.

I climb back onto my bed, picking up the box with my mom’s necklace. It’s a choker on a leather cord with a little silver pendant on it. Upon closer inspection, the pendant has a teardrop shape in the middle, with a wing extending on either side. The wings are made up of two sections, a broad section forming most of the wing and then what I think are the flight feathers. Eikka makes a little ‘ahem’ noise and I unclasp the choker, fastening it around my neck.

Eikka smiles. “Ok, so don’t do it now, but when you wish to transform, just say ‘Eikka, open wings!’ and it’ll kick-start the transformation. Then you’ll transform, and this must be secret, you understand?” She flies right up next to my face. “Girl, if anyone finds out who you are, Hawkmoth will get you. So no one can know. Absolutely no one.”

“Oh-ok,” I say, swallowing hard.

“If you want to use your special ability, just say feather dance! It’s a big gust of wind. But then you only have five minutes before you transform back. It takes a lot of energy from me. I like sardines, by the way.” She floats down to my pillow, curling up. “This is nice.”

“Sardines?” I say, sighing.

“Oh, yes. I need to eat, girl!” Eikka makes a snorting noise. “Keeps my energy up, which keeps you going.”

I rub my temples. “So I transform, and then I have a special ability, but then I have five minutes? And I have to keep it a secret and get you sardines.”

“Exactly,” Eikka says. “See, you’ve got the hang of it.”

“Did- did you know my mother?” I ask. The question springs from my lips so quickly, with no context. “This was her necklace, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, yes,” Eikka says. “Your mother was great, back in her day. Flying around Paris, helping out the little things. Hawkmoth didn’t exist yet, you know. Then she met some guy and transformed less and less. It’s been a while, and most people forgot about her.”

“The guy was my dad, I think,” I say, because I know they met here. “Did he know?”

“Oh no,” Eikka says dramatically, draping a wing across her head. “Did you not hear me say this had to be secret? There were still baddies in her day, you know. Hawkmoth may not have risen yet, but she still had to be careful.”

“So you just. . . sat there, all those years?” I lean back on the pillow next to her.

“I went around in my spirit form, but it was rough, girl.” Eikka flies into the air again. “I couldn’t talk to the other kwamis, because they all sit in their special box, and I might be slightly banned from there.”

“Banned?” I say weakly.

“Not all kwamis turned out the same!” she says fiercely. “I’m a bit more unstable than the others, sure, but just since I helped the villain  _ once  _ I’m banned.”

“Unstable?”

“Oh, you’ll be fine,” Eikka says, waving her wing. “What do you say you try out your new powers? It’s open wings, remember.”

“Really?” I say.

“Will anyone be missing you?” she says. I think of my dad, off doing Amelie’s bidding.

“No, no one,” I say.

“Crack open that window, then,” Eikka says, and I push the window open. “Alright then, let’s do this!”

“Eikka,” I say slowly. “Open wings.”

She turns into a tiny spiral of white light again, and flies into my necklace. I gasp as I’m lifted off my feet, sent spinning through the air. I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror as a silvery-white material covers my body. My hair whips backward, twisting itself into a braid that falls over my shoulder. An itch starts at my eyes, and I reach up to them, only to have a mask cover my face in the same silvery-white material. As I slowly descend to the ground, a pair of wings bursts out of my back, sending me onto my knees, and with that it’s done and everything seems to solidify.

I stand up, staring at myself in the mirror. The suit hugs my body, the color almost silver but most definitely white. Looking closely, it’s made up of some sort of tiny scales that create spirals and waves going up and down my body. I bounce on my feet a couple times, feeling how it lets me move. I frown, bouncing one more time. It feels like I’m wearing sneakers, but it’s all just the suit.

I twist, staring at the wings. They’re the same color as the suit, but they feel thick, tougher. They extend far on either side of me, the feathers glimmering. Just a thought has them folding in behind my back.

I climb up to the window, realizing I have no idea how to actually use the wings. Hanging onto the wall, I stare out at the street. My room’s facing the back, meaning I’m not in danger of the gorilla or my dad seeing me, but anyone on the street could.

Maybe I’ll try this another day.

Suddenly there’s a knock at the door in my room. “Celeste,” Felix’s grating voice whines. “Your room has the copy of the book we need to read.”

I say nothing, hoping he’ll go away. “Celeste,” he whines again. “You need to help the group, for crying out loud.” There’s a moment of silence, and then he speaks again. “Maybe you’re not in there. I’m coming in.”

The doorknob turns and I launch myself out the window.

I plummet towards the street, the wind in my face, my wings still folded. “Extend,” I gasp, and they snap out, catching the wind. I spread my arms out, curving so I fly around the side of the Agreste mansion and into Paris.

It’s liberating. A flap of my wings and I’m higher, higher, reaching for the clouds, then plummeting down, the wind catching me and sending me gliding around the Eiffel Tower. A laugh escapes my throat and I’m wondering how my mother ever gave this up. I land on one of the rooftops, wings beating for a soft landing.

Then I run, feeling the increased speed kick in. A gap in the rooftops comes up and I leap, landing gracefully on the other side. I roll, tucking my wings in and coming up on my feet as the sun begins to set.

I close my eyes, breathing in the twilight air, when I hear two more sets of feet hit the rooftop. Four taps, too quick for one person.

“Hello?” I say, turning, but no one’s there. “Is someone there?”

I don’t think to turn around before something wraps around me, pinning me and my wings in such a tight position I fall to my knees.

Looking up, I see Ladybug and someone who can be no other than Chat Noir. Ladybug’s yo-yo is wrapped around me as she stands over me. Chat Noir’s brandishing a staff at me.

“Who are you, and where is your akuma?” Ladybug says menacingly.

I gape at her. “Oh, wait, no, you’ve got this all mixed up.” I laugh a bit. “I’m kind of using a miraculous?”

Her eyes narrow. “I’m the Guardian of the Miraculous. I’d know if you were using one. Besides, that’s not a miraculous I’ve ever seen before. Which one is that?”

“The swan?” I say, swallowing. “And um, apparently my kwami was banned from the box.”

Chat turns to her, whispering something in her ear. She nods. “I’m going to have to ask them, but we can’t take any chances. Sorry. Chat, I think it’s her necklace.”

Chat Noir steps up close to me. “What’s your name, anyway?”

“It’s Ce-” I cut myself off. I need a name. Not my own.

My mother used to love swans. She had photos of them, paintings. She studied them somewhat before she found her calling as a researcher of chemical properties at some company. One time when I was around five, she took a research trip to Ireland. She learned the language for the trip, which was a month long, and when she came back she started calling me Eala. She told me once it meant swan. “I want to learn how to say ‘swan’ in all the languages,” she said to me once. “Everyone needs a little goal like that in their life.”

“Call me Eala,” I say.

Chat clears his throat, holding his hand up in a fist. I know from Alya’s Ladyblog that his miraculous is a ring. “Cata-”

The block shakes, cutting him off. I slide across the roof, the yo-yo coming loose as I wiggle. Plummeting off the side, I spread my wings, soaring up. Ladybug’s running off towards the site of the noise, and Chat’s following her. He stops, waving at me. “If that’s not you, can you help?” he yells. Then he turns and runs after Ladybug.

I take a deep breath, realizing that I’ve kind of gotten myself into this, then soar after them. I overtake them quickly, gasping when I see what’s in the distance.

It’s a baby. A giant baby. A giant, discolored baby, but still a baby. “It’s a baby,” I yell back at them.

Ladybugs groans as she leaps a gap. “August again. His akuma’s in his pacifier.” She whips out her yo-yo. “You distract him. Chat and I’ll handle this.”

The baby’s sitting in the park around the Eiffel Tower, screaming his head off. He takes a step, making the city rumble. Then he sees me as I soar towards his face. His pacifier is in his mouth, which is an issue.

“Lollipop!” he screams, swatting at me. I narrowly avoid his grasp, swerving in the air and almost falling. “Lollipop!”

Ladybug’s sneaking around behind him, so I fly by his face again. “Hello, strange baby,” I say, breathing hard. “Look at me, not behind you.” Chat’s running with Ladybug, so I guess I’m on my own. “Look here!”

“Lollipop!” August cries, reaching for me again, and this time I’m not fast enough. His grubby little hand grabs one of my wings, and with a yank it comes straight off my back. I scream as I fall, the one wing useless. He reaches out with his other hand and catches me, holding me tight in his first as he reaches me up to his mouth. Dropping my other wing, he pulls his pacifier out of his mouth.

He raises me up to his mouth right as Chat Noir yells “Cataclysm!” and shoots upward, his staff extending to let him reach upward to slap the pacifier, which crumbles.

The baby crumbles, falling down, his fist loosening enough for me to wiggle out. He topples slowly, but not slowly enough- indeed a crowd has been gathering to watch the fight, and the baby intends to fall right on top of them, crushing them.

I act on instinct alone, not thinking at all as I yell “Feather Dance!” and I feel my body contract and a pulsing power appear in my palms, and I push, and a gust of wind flies out of my hands, pushing the baby over to a large area of grass that’s both totally empty and softer for a baby to land on.

The wind does, however, push me backwards out of the baby’s hand. I’m flying through the air with only one wing, headed straight for pavement, when a red and black polka-dotted bouncy house springs up below me, breaking my fall as I break through the dotted castle’s air-filled cavern.

“Eala! You good, there?” Ladybug says, pulling me out. “My lucky charm broke your fall, in case you couldn’t tell.” She smiles. “Thanks for the help with breaking his fall.”

“Anytime,” I say, getting up slowly. 

Ladybug sighs. “I guess I owe you an apology- Hawkmoth can only use one akuma at a time, so I guess you’re legit.”

“Hey, no problem.” I grin, dusting off my suit. “You gotta be careful.”

“I think we’ll make a great team,” Ladybug says winking. “Just a sec.” She unlatches her yo-yo and captures the akuma, then does her “Miraculous Ladybug!” thing to reset everything. The baby shrinks to normal size and his mom grabs him, showering him in kisses.

“Nice one, Eala,” Chat says, strolling up. “Nice one, m’lady.” He bows to Ladybug, who chuckles.

“Three-way pound it?” she suggests.

“Three-way pound it!” Chat says. He looks at me. “Pound it?”

My fist joins theirs. “Pound it!” we say in unison.

“Did you see my wing anywhere?” I ask. “Babyzilla ripped it off.”

Chat jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “Back there. Looked fine to me.”

I jog over to the wing, picking it up from the ground. It’s somehow feather-light in my hand, and the base, where it connects to my back, is shaped slightly like a handle. I grab the handle, and the wing shudders, the feathers folding in and interlocking until I’m holding something that looks like Chat’s staff, but thicker and unable to grow.

“Wow,” I say. I reach around for my other wing, and it pops right off, the feathers twisting like the other wing until I have two staffs, each about three and a half feet long. “That’s cool.” Granted, I have no idea how to use one staff, let alone two, but I guess if it's too difficult I can leave one on my back.

“Hey, looks like I’m not the only one with a staff now,” Chat says. He walks over and puts his hand on my shoulder. “Need any help?”

“I’ll figure it out,” I say. Just then my necklace grows warm and starts beeping. “Oh, shit.”

“I’m gonna transform back too,” Ladybug says. “Bug out.” She throws her yo-yo, and as it twists around a chimney she’s off and running.

I reach over my head, trying to get my wings back by poking my back with the staffs' handles. I feel them latch into my back as the wings unfurl. “I’m off too. See you, Chat!” I wave as I fly off, and he waves back.

I fly as quickly as I can, zooming past my open window to make sure my room’s empty before looping around and rolling back inside.

“Close wings,” I say, figuring that it’s the opposite of the transformation command. My body grows warm and tingly for a second, then Eikka flies out of my necklace, cooing.

“You did great, babydoll. Now where are my sardines?”

  
  



	6. hawkmoth's reaction to an unknown issue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! this chapter changes the point of view. whenever i write that in (and i plan on doing it a couple times) i'll have the pov character's name in the chapter title. just for future reference! :) most chapters will be from celeste's view, but i thought this would add a bit of perspective to some of the upcoming stuff. hope you guys are still enjoying this! :)

I watch my akuma fly through the city, waiting for it to hit the girl.

I feel bad, I do. I know how she feels. I remember losing Emilie clearly. That’s why I went easy on her when she hid in her home, mourning her mother. But after a while, I have to acknowledge that these are some of the strongest negative emotions I’ve sensed yet.

The akuma descends into the high school. It’s always these high schoolers. The teen drama gives me so many chances, so many failures at bringing my love back to me. But this girl- I can sense her, and I already know how to help her. She lost someone dear to her, now everyone she touches will lose someone dear to them. It’ll be rough, sure, but once Ladybug and Chat Noir lose their loved ones, they’ll be too upset to guard their miraculous. A simple bargain, and they’ll be mine.

I let my mind wander into the akuma, preparing myself to speak to her. She cowers in front of me, her grey eyes wide, her lip quivering. Her face is red and blotchy already, her hair hanging limply around her face. Shaking, she tries to move away from me but ends up running into the wall of the bathroom.

I see my chance, and I take it. I dive at the girl, not seeing any precious object to akumatize but thinking her hair will be fine. I hit it, and not only does it not work, but a shockwave runs down my body, sending me onto one knee.

“Again,” I groan. “Again!” The butterfly, mostly moving on its own, hits her several more times in several more areas of her body, but none of them work. They only incapacitate me more.

Pushing myself to my feet and leaning on my cane more heavily than I’d like, I send the akuma straight into her skull, using the akuma’s trick of phasing through walls. It won’t damage her brain at all- the akuma can’t actually hurt her; the trick of phasing means the matter is spaced out far enough that it’s not a solid object, but merely a collection of atoms.

It hurts her, though. I feel her pain call out, and I long to use it, to turn her into something great, something that’ll accomplish my goal. But I can’t. Something about her is resisting me, forcing me to forfeit.

The akuma tethers itself to her as much as it can, and I’m on the ground again. “What. . . are you. . .” I growl through waves of disconcerting shockwaves. “How can you. . .” another shockwave hits, making my legs jerk “. . . resist my. . . akuma. . .” I drift off as another one builds inside me, making me lose the ability to control my jaw for a second.

She screams at me in her head, pushin g at the akuma, trying to get me out, and I decide to surrender this one time, to make her think she’s won, and to save myself. I utter a last threat to her, then withdraw the akuma.

I send it fluttering off somewhere- I don’t care where, just get out of the bathroom before Ladybug comes in. The girl is shaking on the floor. Another girl, some Goth trashy-looking thing, is trying to comfort her. The girl is still crying, and I wish with all of my heart that I could take her, use her for my own benefit.

I’m still lying on the ground, electricity running its course through my veins. It’s fizzling as Ladybug steps into the bathroom. She cocks up her yo-yo right as I regain control and remove my akuma, leaving them with only a creamy butterfly.

How can this be? How can some girl resist me? I’ve seen people try to fight me. I’ve felt their struggle, felt them give in. But that was after I got in their head. This- this is before. I could barely penetrate her, and that hurt me. That hurt me.

I was at this girl’s mercy, whoever she is.

I need to know who she is.

She cannot be allowed to exist.

Or maybe. . . maybe she can. If I could find out what makes her tick, I could use it to benefit Adrien. I would never want to akumatize my own son. Or would I?

What if Adrien could deliver me Emilie?

I would certainly use my own son, if it came to that. The girl must go, then. She serves no purpose than to annoy me.

“Dark wings, fall,” I say. I detransform, and Nooroo exits my pin. He hovers near me, ever-present in the air. He does not speak; I removed his mouth recently and have found it rather peaceful. I exit my lair (lair is such an evil-sounding word, so I don’t like it much. My work isn’t evil. I’m bringing back my wife. My son’s mother. But I don’t really know how to describe my space as anything other than a lair.) and I walk out of my office.

“Nathalie,” I call. “Can you one of Adrien’s class pictures?” I recognized the Goth girl from his class. Surely if she’s comforting this girl, she must be in the same class.

“Right away, sir,” Nathalie says, and she’s gone. I return to my desk, drumming my fingers. What is this girl’s prerogative? Why is she here? And how the hell can she resist my akuma?

“I have the picture, sir,” Nathalie says, returning promptly. “May I ask why you need it?”

Nathalie knows everything. I could trust her with this. “There was a girl whom my akuma could not touch without my suffering electrical shocks.”

Nathalie’s eyebrows raise slightly. “That’s concerning.”

“I saw this one,” I say, tapping the Goth girl’s face, “with her. They were friends.”

“That’s Juleka Couffaine,” Nathalie says. “She keeps to herself, short for her lover Rose Lavillant.” Nathalie knows some basic things about all of the students Adrien interacts with. It’s for his safety that we know which students are concerning and which are not an issue. Miss Couffaine has just moved from the noncerning group to the group Adrien should not hang out with.

I search the photo. “She’s not there.”

“She could be a new student,” Nathalie asks. “Would you like me to inquire?”

“Yes, please, Nathalie,” I say. I decide to go get some ice from the kitchen. We exit my office together, and I come across Emilie’s sister, Amelie, talking to a broad man in my parlor.

“Gabriel,” she says. “Lovely. I was hoping to hire this man to be a bodyguard for my Felix.”

I look him up and down. “Why does Felix need a bodyguard?”

“Why, all of this akuma-miraculous nonsense. I think the whole thing is ridiculous.” She throws her hands up. “But Felix wanted to be with his cousin, so we’re here.” She sighs, then smiles. “Gabriel, this is Charles Vasseur. Charles, this is Gabriel Agreste, my brother-in-law and the man whose house you will be able to stay in with your- daughter, correct?”

“Pleased to meet you!” Charles says, smiling. “Yes, my daughter.” His voice is gruff, but very chipper. I think I’ll grow tired of him quickly. “Poor thing, I don’t think she’s on board with the move, but she’s being very good about it.” He chuckles. “Thank you for allowing us room, Mr. Agreste.” He looks me in the eye and I realize his are the same peculiar shade of grey as hers are.

“Oh, it’s no issue,” I say. “How old is your daughter?” I cannot deal with a grubby child, and if she’s the right age, this could be the girl I’m looking for. Not many people have grey eyes, do they?

“She’s sixteen, like your children.” Charles sighs. “They grow up so fast, don’t they? She’s having her first day of school today, and I’m pretty nervous for her. I don’t know how she’s liking having to move the same day, but she’s being a good sport.”

This man is too chatty. His phone dings. He looks up at Amelie. “Do you mind? It could be her.”

“Just this once,” Amelie says. Her eyes narrow as he checks his texts. She doesn’t like it. Amelie could be persuaded to the cause, perhaps.

“She- she was almost akumatized!” Charles gasps. “The akuma bounced off her. My baby girl- she was almost-” he gasps. He looks slightly panicked. Amelie sighs. I decide to take initiative.

“You need to move the rest of your things,” I say cooly to him. Amelie nods, and he jogs away, looking visibly distressed. “Amelie, what’s her name?”

“Celeste, I believe,” she says. “Why?”

“Simply wanted to know who’s staying in my home,” I say. “Good day, Amelie.”

On the way home from school, I keep glancing at the girl in the backseat as she stares out the window, lips parted. She offered no immediate threat- she’s actually quite a petite thing, barely more than a child. She looks unsettled, probably from today. She did agree to some testing, and in my head I make no promises to be humane. Either I find out what makes her resist me, or I end up doing irreversible damage in the process. It’s a win either way for me.

I researched her on the way here. Her late mother was a researcher, and that will be the first place I look. I suspect she’s the one who engineered her daughter to be this way.

Celeste said she wanted to help people. I wonder what she would say if she knew she was holding me back from seeing my wife again.

I’m going to need Nathalie’s help finding a way to learn the skills in a way that won’t directly kill her. I can’t have a murder on my hands. If something inhumane happens to her, I need no one to be able to trace it to me. Let them think it's something she ate, something in the air. Certainly not Gabriel Agreste.

We arrive at the house, and I get out of the car before her, standing over her when she climbs out. Her hair hangs around her face, masking it, then she turns it up to stare at me, her grey eyes inquisitive. Her face is very pale, her skin milky white. She’s tiny. I could squash her like a bug.

“I’ll keep you posted,” I say. She nods ever so slightly, but she looks terrified. She's trying to hide it, but I can tell.

I turn to leave her.

Let her be scared.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment what you think! if anyone's even read to this point, that is. but i want to know what you think! comment what you like, what you don't like, hell- if you want to comment BLUEBERRY WAFFLES, comment blueberry waffles. someone's going to eat a blueberry waffle if you comment blueberry waffles. (this whole thing is proof i should go to bed and sleep but no, i think i'm going to leave a nice long ramble to torture whoever decides to read this.) thank you <3


	7. a very painful dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope someone's still reading this! if you are, you're the best. hope you enjoy this chapter!

The Agreste mansion has one tin of sardines that Eikka polishes off in seconds. She keeps up a constant run of commentary while I try to do the schoolwork I blew off today. I wonder how I’m going to keep getting sardines in this house. My dad knows that I hate them. But if Eikka likes them, I need to have them.

“Will any fish work?” I ask, chewing on my eraser.

“Darling,” Eikka says with an exasperated tone. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Purple,” I say.

“That’s like saying you love all shades of purple. I mean, yeah, they’re all fine, but some are utter trash and some just  _ speak  _ to you on a deeper level.” Eikka settles onto my pillow. “This is terrible.”

“It’s not mine,” I say. “We moved here today.”

“Ah,” she says. She flutters over my shoulder. “Are you really writing that?”

I’m trying to write a poem since I didn’t do it in class. “I haven’t written much, okay? I like to draw better. But I can’t draw a poem.”

“Yes, but you’re trying to sound so  _ pretentious, _ darling.” Eikka sighs. “Write as yourself, at least.”

“About what? I don’t have anything to write.” I flop backward onto my pillows. “Eikka, I can’t do this.”

“Write about anything. Anything can be poetry,” Eikka says. “I’ve read some truly wonderful works in my time.” She looks at me, blinking slowly. “Write about emotions. Write about love! I’ve heard that’s a simply _fabulous_ motivator.”

“I love my dad. That’s it,” I say. “I’m not really close to anyone, Eikka.”

“What about your mother? Mother-daughter love is truly something.”

“She’s dead,” I say softly. I feel the tears collecting again.

Eikka rests a wing on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, darling.” Eikka sounds like she means it.

“Cancer,” I whisper. “Everything’s so  _ different _ now.” A tear falls down my cheek and I wipe it away quickly.

Someone knocks on my door. “Eikka, hide!” I hiss. She dives beneath my pillow. I hope it’s my dad. “Come in,” I say, my voice thick.

But it’s not my dad, it’s Felix who barges in. “Celeste, have you started reading yet?” His face shows no emotion, but he sounds annoyed. He always sounds annoyed. Maybe he's a robot, and that's just the way he's been programmed.

“Felix!” I groan, hurriedly wiping my face, trying to hide the fact that I was crying. “No, I haven’t.”

“Don’t look so disappointed to see me, god.” Felix crosses his arms and glares at me. “You need to start reading. It’s a long book, and I want us to be done by Wednesday.”

“Look, I’ll get it, just give me a second,” I say, getting up off my bed and crossing to my bookshelf. “There was a copy here, I just have to find it.”

“Oh, I needed it. I’m reading it.” Felix’s voice is as dry and awful as ever. It grates at my ears.

“How the hell am I supposed to read it if you took my copy?” I say, trying to hold myself together. I’m infuriated.

“I’m just letting you know so it’s on your radar. I figured you wouldn’t have everything together.” Felix stares at me, his eyes dead and motionless. “Also it’s time for dinner. We have it at seven-thirty every night. You’ve been holding us up.”

“No one told me!” I say, trying not to cry out of frustration. “Alright, I’m coming, just give me a second.” I need to freshen up- my hair’s messy and tangled and I’m slightly threatened by Amelie’s perfect curl. She’ll see through me for sure. Not to mention the need to make sure no one can tell I’ve been crying.

“You’re already holding us up, what more do you need?” Felix sneers. “It’s not like anyone cares if you’re there.”

I turn, visibly shaking. “I know that, Felix. I’m coming.” I give up on fixing my appearance and follow him through the hallways. He opens the door to the dining room, and for a moment I’m struck. Does Felix actually have manners? Holding the door open? That’s not like him at all.

And I’m right. It’s not. He lets it close in my face.

I push it open and scurry inside. There are six places set. Gabriel’s assistant (my dad said her name was Nathalie), Adrien, and Gabriel sit on one side. Amelie and Felix sit on the other. There is one more open place, next to Amelie, which is much better than having to sit next to Felix again. I think he'd poison me if given the chance.

“Where’s my dad?” I ask.

Amelie’s lips purse ever-so-slightly. “He has to work, child. Now sit. You’re holding us up.”

“I didn’t know we had a set dinner time,” I say, scooting into my chair. “I’m sorry. You should have started without me.” My face is bright red.

“Mr. Agreste insisted on waiting for you,” Nathalie says. “But you’re here now.” She gives me a tiny, minuscule smile. That or I imagined it. 

Everyone begins to dig into their food. I poke at it with my fork. It’s some rice and beans dish I have no appetite for. I find eating harder and harder ever since my mother died. I don’t think I ate anything at lunch today. I certainly don’t want to eat now. My dad can usually get me to eat, but I don’t know, I’ve just not interested right now.

I settle for pushing it around with my fork. “So Adrien,” Amelie says. “What sort of hobbies do you have?”

Adrien swallows. “I work in modeling. I have a shoot this weekend, actually. I also play the piano.” He smiles while he speaks.

“He fences, he’s learning to speak Chinese- my boy has a busy life,” Gabriel says. “What about you, Celeste? Busy with hobbies?”

“No, not really,” I say, not really focusing on the conversation. “I used to draw and mess around with music, but not so much anymore.”

“What sort of music?” Adrien asks. “Do you play anything?”

“Oh,” I say, realizing I messed up. “No, I don’t play any instruments. I, um, take songs I like, and I mesh them together, or I play around with the sounds from one song.” I poke at the rice again. “I think it’d be cool to learn how to play something, though.” My mother played the flute. She would take me to the park and play, and the swans would come to her. They always came to her.

“Maybe I’ll teach you a little bit of piano sometime,” Adrien says.

“Maybe,” I say, with no intention of taking him up on the offer.

“Is something wrong with the food, Celeste?” Nathalie asks. “You don’t seem to be eating.”

“I’m not really hungry,” I say softly.

Amelie snorts. “We spend time waiting for her to come to dinner, and she doesn't eat?” She raises her eyebrows, looking away from me. “Typical.”

I flush an even more furious shade of crimson and force myself to take a bite. The rice is slimy as it forces its way down my throat. I try a few beans, but their skin has this strange, almost gummy yet grating feeling. I bite through them, forcing it down. I feel goosebumps on my arms.

“So Father,” Adrien says, breaking the silence. “Why are you eating with us? I thought you were usually busy at night.”

“I just thought I would welcome the new houseguests,” Gabriel says. He dabs the corner of his mouth with a napkin. “Besides, you and I don’t spend much time together.”

Adrien turns back to his food, but I can see the happiness in his eyes.

“Mother,” Felix says. “Do you have a copy of  _ Le Siècle de Louis XIV _ ? Celeste and I have a school project.”

“You’re partners? Why?” She sounds shocked. I wonder what I did to make her dislike me.

“We sit next to each other since we’re both new.” Felix looks up at his mother, and I think I can see actual human emotion in his eyes. Strange.

“I think I have a spare copy for  _ you _ to borrow,” Amelie says. She makes it clear that I’m not allowed to read it. Maybe she’s just really protective of her books.

“Great,” Felix says. “Thank you, Mother.”

“Can I have my copy back, then?” I say. I really do try to not sound combative, but it just comes out that way. Everyone at this table probably already thinks I’m a bitch.

“I’ll get it to you. I don’t want to fail, you know,” Felix says. He rolls his eyes.

Nathalie speaks up. “Amelie, were you having any luck with getting Felix set up as a model?”

“Not yet, unfortunately,” Amelie says. “Adrien’s got it locked up around here, I’m afraid.”

“That’s too bad,” Gabriel says. I get the feeling he doesn’t care about Felix’s modeling career.

“I was wondering if he could take Felix with him this weekend, actually.” Amelie beams at Adrien. “Just so Felix could see what they’re like.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea,” Gabriel says, setting down his fork. “These shoots are serious business, Amelie. This could be Adrien’s future career. He does not need to come across as unprofessional by dragging his cousin around.” He fixes Amelie in a glare.

“Gabriel, really,” Amelie says, laughing, “you’re-”

“End of discussion.” Gabriel picks up his fork and begins eating again.

“Mother, it’s fine,” Felix says. “I don’t mind. I wasn’t set on modeling much anyway.”

“But I want the best for my sweet, sweet boy,” Amelie says. “I promise I’ll get you the best.”

“Celeste, what are you doing this weekend?” Nathalie asks. She stares at me with a blank face. I think she and Felix are actually robots.

“I don’t know,” I say, pushing rice around my bowl. “Probably catching up on make-up work. I missed a lot of schoolwork.”

“If you need help,” Adrien begins, but Gabriel drops his fork on the table. Somewhat loudly.

“You’re busy,” he says. “This weekend, Celeste, perhaps would be a good time to discern what makes you so special.”

“As if she needs anything else going to her head,” Amelie says under her breath, and I bite my cheek again. Mom would be so disappointed in me.

“I’m sorry?” Gabriel says. “Amelie, did you say something?” Gabriel seems to actually not hate me. This is a somewhat miraculous occurrence since I'm pretty sure Amelie does.

“Certainly not, Gabriel,” she says sweetly.

“Felix?” Adrien asks. “How are you with schoolwork? Are you all caught up?”

“Not quite,” Felix says cooly. “But I’m close. I should finish it tonight.”

“Felix can help Celeste,” Gabriel says, returning to his food. This causes quite a disruption.

“I don’t need help,” I say quietly. This is drowned out by Felix and Amelie, both raising their voices somewhat.

Felix is complaining about me. “She doesn’t need help, she needs to pay attention in class. She was just slumped the whole rest of the day. I’m not helping someone who doesn’t try.”

Amelie is worse. “That girl should stay far, far away from my boy. Why, if I had my way, she wouldn’t be here at all. She’s not needed or wanted here, only her father is. She thinks she’s special, entitled- goodness knows my Felix doesn’t want any of that rubbing off on him!”

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, feeling a burning pit of shame in my stomach. “Did I do something to you?”

Amelie gasps. “ _ What _ did you say to me, child?”

“I mean, we only met this afternoon, right?” I take a deep, shaky breath. “I’m sorry if I’ve managed to offend you the what, one time we talked? But I would like to know what happened that made you hate me like this.” I don’t look her in the eye, scared of my outburst, even though it’s terrible. My voice shakes.

Amelie stares at me, then narrows her eyes. “How  _ dare _ you speak to me that way!” She’s almost shaking with fury. “Get out. No one wants you here, so get out, you little  _ worm _ .” The rage in her eyes crumbles my resolve, and I feel tears coming.

Shaking, I almost fall out of my chair, then almost trip on the rug, then fumble the door handle. I barely make it into the hallway before I collapse. I curl up behind a chair, so no one could see me if they weren’t looking, holding my knees to my chest and rocking back and forth. I can feel the panic that usually comes with an anxiety attack growing, and I try to focus more on my breathing that Amelie Graham de Vanilly. I don’t know why she hates me so much, but now I can’t even retreat home. Not when she could be lurking, popping out of any corner.

I really wish my mom could be here right now.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, comments are much appreciated!


	8. music makes friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! so this one is technically more than a day apart from the rest, meaning i broke my one-a-day streak. oops. however, i started writing at 11 pm thinking i was almost done, and then i got all caught up in it and now it's 1:30 am and i'm finished! it's a bit longer than the rest of them, but hey, if you don't like reading why are you on a fanfiction site? :) as always, comment your thoughts!

The dining room door creaks open, and people start coming out. Gabriel and Nathalie simply cross to his office, and Felix and his mother start to make their way up the stairs. I tense as soon as I see her.

“Celeste!” Adrien says, noticing me next to the chair. “Celeste, are you okay?”

“Shh!” I hiss, barely able to speak. “She’s right there, she’s right there.” I squeeze myself into a tighter ball. This is a terrible hiding place.

“That was rough,” he says. “I’m sorry she’s so against you.”

“It’s fine,” I say softly. I focus on breathing again. One-two-three-four inhale up one side, one-two-three-four exhale across the top, one-two-three-four inhale down the other side, one-two-three-four exhale across the bottom. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

“My dad seems to like you,” Adrien says. He sits in the chair I’m hiding behind. “That’s something. He doesn’t even seem to like me very much.”

“Your dad likes you,” I say. “You saw him defend your whole modeling career, and talk about your hobbies and all that.” I lean my head on the chair, feeling the panic slowly seep out of my veins.

“He doesn’t really do that,” Adrien says. “Ever.” He sighs. His hand flops over the arm of the chair, landing on my head. I let it stay there. He gives it a half-hearted pat. I laugh, then sober up quickly.

“At least you got to see him tonight,” I say. “Amelie hates me. I get the feeling she’s going to keep me and my dad apart as much as possible, just to torture me.”

“So you’re close, then,” Adrien says. He shifts in his chair so he can look over the arm at me. I crane my head up at him.

“Yeah, we’re pretty close.” I smile. “I mean, when my mom died all we had was each other, right? So- so I guess we’ve just gotten used to leaning on each other.”

Adrien turns away. “I wish that had happened to me and my father.”

“Oh,” I say, just now realizing he’d lost his mother too. “I’m so sorry, Adrien.” We sit in silence for a moment. “How?”

“She got sicker and sicker, and then one day she was just. . . gone.” Adrien’s voice gets sad. “You?”

“Cancer,” I say. “Leukemia.”

“Guess that’s something we have in common,” Adrien says. “We’re both missing a mother.”

“I just- I wish she were here sometimes, you know?” I say, swallowing hard. “I wish she was at that awful dinner, and I wish she could have been there to say hi after I got home from school, and I wish she could be here right now.”

“I know the feeling,” Adrien says. “I know it’s not much, but I’m here right now.” He smiles at me, and I chuckle. “Can I work as your mom, just for a moment?”

“We can be each others’ mothers,” I say, smiling. “As horrible as we may be at it.”

“So it’s a deal, then,” Adrien says, standing up. I get up from the floor and face him, smiling despite myself. “The next time either of us has an issue we wish we could turn to our mother about, we go to each other.”

I nod. “It’s a deal.”

He holds out a hand. “Shake on it?”

“Shake on it,” I agree, and we shake hands. He grins at me.

“Maybe sometime you could show me some of your music. It sounds interesting.” Adrien nods at me, then turns and jogs up the stairs to what I think is his bedroom. I watch him go.

I go back to my room and write a poem about my mother. It's sadder than I'd like, but it's an assignment completed.

I try to sleep.

When that doesn’t work, I drag out my laptop and headphones and try, for the first time in seven months, to remember what music sounds like.

I never did end up sleeping.

“Celeste!” I hear my dad’s voice at the door and jump excitedly to my feet. “Can I come in?”

“Of course,” I say, and he cracks the door open. He grins.

“You have a purple room!” He laughs. “I hope you managed to find everything okay- I tried to unpack it myself, but Amelie sent me on my way so I never even made it in here until now. I think Nathalie unpacked for you.”

“I’ve found everything I need to so far,” I say. “You brought coffee!” He has a giant thermos in his hand.

“Coffee and a bagel.” He hands both to me. “Did you eat much last night?”

I shake my head. “No, not really.”

He sighs. “I wish I’d been there. Amelie seems to want me to have the night shift.” My dad gives me another smile, and I see the exhaustion in his eyes. “I’m going to end up sleeping the day away, I fear.” He shakes his head. “Eat some bagel.”

I take a bite of the bagel, cringing at how it seems slimy in my mouth. “What time is it?”

“The Gorilla will drive you to school in twenty minutes. Another bite, sweetie?” I take another bite. He looks around. “You’re not even dressed yet, Celeste!”

“Sorry!” I say. “I was up late creating a song.”

My dad beams. “It’s been so long- what’s the song like, sweetie?”

“Nuh-uh,” I say wagging my finger in his face. “I’m not done yet.”

“Well then,” Dad says. “Why don’t you keep eating that bagel, and I’ll find you an outfit to wear.”

“Something not terrible,” I say, taking another bite. I gag. I think this is the last bite for me. But I still watch my dad run around my room, digging through my dresser drawers, just because he loves it, and I love him.

“Okay, okay,” he says. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” I say, giggling. “Okay, go.” I close my eyes, and my dad puts clothes in my hands like he always does. When I open them, I examine the bundle. “Black jeans, lavender shirt, grey sweater.” I grin. “You know what I like, don’t you?”

“Get dressed,” my dad says, laughing. “You wear that all the time; it wasn’t too hard for your dear old dad.” He leaves the room right as I throw my bagel at him.

I put on the outfit he picked, hugging myself in the sweater. It’s one of those great giant slouchy cardigans. I love it. I put on a pair of Doc Martens, deciding that I like the way the grungy shoe offsets the girly sweater. My hand goes to my necklace when I look myself over in the mirror.

“What do you think, Eikka?” I say, twirling.

She looks me up and down. “Do you wear any other colors?”

“Eikka!”

“You asked what I think, I told you what I think.” She smirks at me and dives into my backpack. I leave a tiny bit of it unzipped just in case she decides to leave at any point during the day. Grabbing my laptop and coffee, I dash out of my room and into the parlor right before Felix leaves his room with Amelie.

I shouldn’t feel this happy at getting dressed first and being ready first, but I’ll take my victories where I can get them.

We get to school early, and while Adrien’s off talking to his friends and Felix is doing something other than bothering me, I sit on a bench in the courtyard. My headphones, which are, of course, purple, are solidly around my ears as I tinker with different sounds on the track I’m mixing.

I tried something different last night- I sampled the guitar from Alt-J’s “Left Hand Free” and tried to add my own background melodies and percussion sounds. I even manage to change the way the sample sounds, to make it more melancholy. What I’ve got so far is certainly sad, but also beautiful and triumphant, somehow all at the same time.

I play around with downloading a scale of horns, testing them out. Maybe I could loop these lower-pitched ones, and add a sort of. . . depth, I suppose. I’m halfway through deciding what pattern to put them in when someone taps my shoulder.

It’s Juleka. I hang my headphones around my neck. “Hi,” I say. “What’s up?”

“You working on some music, there?” she asks. Her voice is very low, making me lean into her to hear her better.

“Yeah,” I say. “I started it last night. It’s not finished yet, though.”

“Can I listen?” Juleka asks. “I’m interested to see what you can do.”

“Um, okay. Sure. Go for it,” I say. I didn’t even let my dad listen to this, but this is Juleka. Someone who’s shy but has come up to me twice now, while I’m alone. I put my headphones around her head and hit play.

Her eyes close as she listens. I watch her, tense, sipping my coffee. The track’s still short since I’m not finished in the slightest. Less than two minutes pass before she slips the headphones off her head. “Celeste, that’s beautiful. How’d you do it?”

I give a brief explanation of how I sampled the Alt-J song and how I’m adding in other things. “It’s not what I usually do,” I say. “But I think I needed to try something new.”

“It’s fantastic,” Juleka says. “Hey, would you like to come to the boat after school?”

“Boat?” I say, blinking.

“My brother and my mom and I live on a boat. It’s pretty cool, I guess,” Juleka says, letting her bangs swish into her face. “Kitty Section has practice after school today. You should come along and talk to my brother. He’s a musical genius.”

“I don’t want you to go to any trouble,” I say, biting my cheek.

“It’s no trouble,” Juleka says. “Luka would love you.”

“Well. . .” I say, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I guess I could do that. I’ll have to check with my dad, though.”

“Let me know if you’re coming, okay? You can walk over with us.” Juleka gives me a wave and goes back to Rose’s side. The two of them sit on a bench on the other side of the common and laugh together. I watch them for a moment before they kiss and I realize two things: one, that I am being creepy, and two, my notion about them being lesbians was completely accurate.

I work on the track for a little while longer, before the bell rings for class and I’m forced to jog up the stairs. I hand in my poem with a sincere apology for my lateness to Madame Bustier, who could not be more gracious about the whole thing, then go sit in the back with Felix.

Torture begins again.

My dad says he’s fine with me going to Juleka’s after school, so I catch up to the group before they leave school grounds. It’s Marinette, Ivan, Juleka, Rose, and Mylene going, and since I know everyone but Ivan, this doesn’t give me terrible social anxiety! Yay!

“Mylene, what do you play?” I ask. She’s adorable. She’s tiny. She’s like a little puppy. She’s shorter than me, that’s how tiny she is. Ivan’s big, too, so their size difference is almost comically funny.

“Oh, I don’t play anything,” she says, blushing. “I’m just coming along to spend more time with Ivan.” She laces her fingers through his, and he looks down at her with love in his eyes.

Juleka and Rose are speaking softly to the side, so I end up talking to Marinette. “So what do you do for the band?” I ask, trying not to sound haughty or awful or anything like Amelie Graham de Vanilly.

“Oh, I design the costumes for the band,” Marinette says. “I want to be a fashion designer someday.”

“That’s really cool,” I say. It is. “What’s the last thing you designed? Do you have pictures?” The rest of the walk is filled with Marinette showing me her designs off of pictures from her phone. They’re seriously awesome- she takes things that would almost be forgettable and adds something truly magnificent to them. Every piece is unique, beautiful. 

“You’re really talented,” I say. “No, really. These are amazing.” I pull up a photo of a hat covered in gorgeous black feathers. “This one, really-”

“I actually made that one in a contest,” Marinette says, blushing. “Adrien wore it in a fashion show.”

“Adrien wore it?” I say, nudging her with my shoulder. “You must have loved that.”

“It was magical!” she squeals. We both laugh and laugh as the canal looms ahead of us and Juleka leads us onto a boat.

“Does anyone need snacks?” Juleka asks. I shake my head, but Ivan and Mylene and Rose all dig into popcorn. Marinette plops onto a couch on the side of the boat, whipping out a sketchbook.

“What’re you designing now?” I say.

“There’s a contest coming up for a song for a commercial,” Marinette says. “It’s for medicine, I think, but they need a band for one of those scenes where the person’s life is so much better because they take this drug now, right?” She giggles. “We’re trying to come up with a really chill but upbeat song, and I get to design the outfits.”

“Sounds cool,” I say. I sit down on the couch as well and drag my laptop out of my backpack, plopping my headphones back over my ears. I’m almost finished with the track- I ate an apple at lunch, which didn’t take long, and then I spent the rest of the time editing and reformatting. I lose myself in my work, nodding my head to the lo-fi beat of the track as I adjust the pitch of the horns one last time.

“Celeste,” Juleka says, tapping my shoulder. I jump. “How’s the track?”

“Just finished, actually,” I say, resting my headphones around my neck. “I think. It just seems like something’s off.”

“Don’t overdo it,” Marinette says, still focused on her sketchbook. “I mess up when I think too much about something I’m designing.”

“Why don’t you go show my brother? He’s right over there,” Juleka says. “The band’s taking a break right now.” I hadn’t even noticed they’d started. She points to a tall, tan boy with teal-tipped hair who’s leaning on the railing of the boat. He’s plucking out something on his guitar.

“I guess,” I say. “Why, again?”

“He’s a musical genius,” Juleka says, taking my hand and pulling me over. “If you’re not sure about your track, he can help you out or he can help you share it, or whatever.” She gives me a little smile before releasing my hand right before this boy. “Luka, I want you to meet Celeste. Celeste, this is my brother Luka.”

“Hi,” I say, instantly nervous because oh my god it’s social interaction I did not prep myself for. I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear.

“Nice to meet you, Celeste,” Luka says, and his voice is oh so calm, completely even. “Are you joining the band?”

“Oh- oh no,” I say, blushing furiously. “I’m just here because Juleka-” I turn, looking for her before I realize she vanished. “Um, because Juleka says you’re a musical genius?”

Luka laughs, a couple deep chuckles that genuinely make me happy. “I’m not a musical genius by any means. I just play the guitar.” He smiles. His smile is warm. “Juleka always speaks highly of me, though.” He drops his head again, plucking at the strings of his guitar, creating a slow, sweet melody.

“That!” I gasp. “Okay, wait, wait, wait. Give me a second.” I glance around for a place to sit, and seeing none directly next to me, I sit cross-legged on the deck of the boat. “One second. I swear.” I pull up the track, and in a couple of clicks I’ve deleted the modified sample of “Left Hand Free.”

Luka’s melody had the perfect intonation, the perfect combination of sad and sweet and good and proud. Somewhere today my track grew its own voice that Alt-J simply did not have in that modified sample, but Luka’s managed to capture it. I pull up a recording studio- I doubt it’ll give me the quality I’m looking for, but it’ll do. “Okay,” I say, looking up at his darkest brown almond eyes. “This is probably really weird, but can you play that melody again? The exact melody?” I hit record, watching the sound waves captured.

“This one?” Luka says, and he touches the strings in the same way, and they play that perfect melody. He plays for what seems like an eternity, and then sets the guitar down. “Was that what you were going for?”

“Yes, yes!” I say, laughing. I pop my headphones back on, diving back into my headspace as I cut out the unnecessary recorded bits and set the new melody into the track. I alter the horns just a bit more, and I change the volume at one point to make the whole thing seem like it has a chorus and a bridge and verses and all that great stuff, and then I hit save.

“What’s all this?” Luka says from right next to me, and I squeak and almost fall over. “Sorry.” He’s crouching, the guitar leaned up against the railing. His wrists rest on his knees.

“I, um, make music. On my computer. I wish I had a better quality recording studio,” I say, taking off my headphones again. “That guitar was perfect, and I wish I could capture that.” I blink. “You’re really good.”

Luka smiles. “Thank you,” he says, cool and calm. “May I listen to your song?”

“Yeah- yeah.” I’m breathing quickly. I hand over my headphones, and he places them on his ears and closes his eyes, just like Juleka did this morning. The next two minutes and fifty-four seconds are agonies before he hits pause and takes off the headphones, handing them back. He doesn't say anything but instead seems to be thinking deeply.

“I’m out of practice,” I say, babbling despite myself. “I’m downloading random things off the internet and putting them together and I know I need to work on the sound quality and the dimensions of it and everything, but-”

“That was amazing.”

I blink. “Wait, what?”

Luka stands up. “I think you’ve got real talent, Celeste.”

“Look who’s talking,” I say, blushing. “Sorry I used your melody, by the way.” I gasp. “I used your melody! Is that okay? And then I just sat here and didn’t talk to you and oh my goodness I’m so sorry.” I look down at my shoes again, clutching my laptop to my chest.

Luka’s fingers reach out and find a place under my chin, and he tilts my head up to look him in the eyes, knocking the breath out of my lungs as I stare into his eyes, which are so deep and full of soul.

“I’m glad you used my melody,” he says softly. “If it means you can create something like that, something that you’re so incredibly passionate about.” I can’t breathe, just staring into his eyes.

“Luka!” Rose calls. “We need to get back to practice.”

He nods, looking at her over my head. Dropping my chin, he gives me another smile. “Will you come to the next rehearsal?”

“I- I don’t know,” I say, face flushed. “Maybe.”

He starts walking back to the group, turning and looking over his shoulder at me. “You should,” he says calmly. “I’d like to see more of you, Celeste."

  
  



	9. a weird day that will apparently become normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still figuring out the whole chapter length thing. if anyone's still reading at this point, i hope you're up for the longest chapter yet! oops. maybe they'll start to be all roughly the same length over time? :)

The next day starts out the same. My dad comes in with coffee and fruit this time- I like fruit. The texture’s never too unappealing. He tries to give me a packed lunch, but I decline. I don’t really like lunch meat, or peanut butter, or anything one could pack in a school lunch and call a sandwich.

That’s how all of this started out- I was a picky eater. A very picky eater. My mother would sit down and make me eat every last bit of dinner, but Dad never had that same steel resolve. When she started slipping away, so did my desire to eat. It was a reflex, a way my sadness made itself known. My father tried to get me to take vitamins, but they were all too powdery or too gummy, and I could barely get them down before they came back up. So now he tries to find foods I like, and he makes sure I eat enough to function. It’s one of the things we don’t talk about much.

I ride to school with Adrien and Felix, and Felix takes the seat in between me and Adrien like he always does, and then he talks Adrien’s ear off the whole way over. I don’t care. I pull out my laptop again, and start creating a drum beat. I don’t know if I’ll ever use it, but it gives me something to do. I forgot how much I loved creating these.

But today when we get out of the car, Felix grabs my arm. I whip around, pulling my sweater out of his grasp. It’s the same cardigan as yesterday, but today I’m wearing it over a pair of blue jeans and a black shirt. My shoes are purple. It’s something my mother used to do, but her favorite color was orange. She’d have something orange on her every single day. I don’t remember when I picked up the habit.

“We’re working on the project after school today,” he reminds me. “So don’t go running off to some random boat, or whatever you were doing yesterday.”

“Got it,” I say, turning away from him, but he grabs me again. “What the hell, Felix?”

“Have you even  _ read _ the book?” he drawls.

“I read it last night,” I say, yanking myself out of his grasp. “Don’t grab me when you need my attention.”

“What’d you think of it, then?” he says, crossing his arms. For some reason, he insists on wearing a tie and a dress shirt and slacks and a stupid vest every single day. It’s ridiculous. We’re at a school, not a funeral.

“I thought it was boring as hell,” I say, striding away from him. He catches up to me quickly. “And ridiculous. Voltaire’s going on and on about how the age of Louis XIV was the ‘golden age’ or whatever, but all of his examples are from after his death.” I shake my head. “Voltaire’s just too goddamn pretentious.”

“Language,” Felix says, face as stony as always.

“Alright then, what the  _ hell, _ ” I say, aiming the word at him, “did you think of the book?”

“I disagree with your statement,” Felix says. “Unless you were unaware of how history works, in which case I wish to educate you.”

I try to walk faster, but his legs are a lot longer than mine and he takes the stairs easily. “How so?”

“Well, none of the art created, or the history made, frankly, could have happened without the events leading up to it. And who influenced those events? Louis XIV.” Felix rolls his eyes. “I mean, yes, he was dead. But his work during his life led to the fourth golden age.” We reach the top of the stairs and he nods to me. “I look forward to winning this debate after school.”

“I don’t care,” I say, crossing my arms. “Anything to speed up the process.”

“Ditto,” he says. “But I care about being right, in this case.”

“You’re insufferable,” I say, turning away. “Truly insufferable.”

“Ditto,” he says again, and with that we part ways, both of us trying to ignore the fact that we’re both going to end up sitting next to each other.

Except we don’t. As soon as we part ways, someone screams, and an explosion goes off. I’m thrown against the wall, sitting up dizzily. There’s commotion all about, and smoke filtering in from the middle of the courtyard. In the middle of the smoke, a tall, lean figure stands. From what I can see, the person is in a black suit that hugs their body with black goggles over their eyes, and in their hand they hold a-

Is that a cherry?

I see they have bunches and bunches of cherries at their waist. Their hair, too, is pulled into a loose ponytail with what appears to be a cherry hair clip.

“Where is Chloe Bourgeois?” the person says. “Where is Chloe? I’ve got a surprise for her.”

“Who the  _ hell  _ are you?” Chloe says, striding out of the smoke. She’s across the courtyard from me, but I get to my feet and start to run towards her, knowing this can’t end well. “I don’t even know you.”

“You  _ made _ me!” the girl screams. “I am the Cherry-Bomber, and this is for you, Chloe Bourgeois!” She blows on the cherries in her palm and they grow, growing until they’re the size of tennis balls. She cocks her arm back, about to throw.

“Chloe, get down!” I scream, and I dive, tackling her and yanking her to the side as more explosions go off and more screams fill the air. Chloe squawks as we roll over, scrambling to her feet as soon as we come to a stop.

“Who are you?” she gasps, wiping her pants off. “ This is  _ ridiculous. Utterly ree-diculous _ !”

“What did you do to that girl?” I say, panting.

Chloe scoffs. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Really? Then why is she akumatized?” I ask, standing up. I know I need to transform, but I don’t want to leave Chloe.

“I just told her she looked like a vampire. She’s always eating cherries and her teeth get all gross and nasty and she’s disgustingly stained with cherry juice always.” Chloe flips her hair.

“What’s her name?” I ask, dragging Chloe into the cover of smoke.

Chloe sniffs. “As if! She’s not even in our class, why would I know her name?”

“Chloe!” Chat Noir says, dropping in on his staff. “I’m here to take you to safety.” He turns to me. “Good job, yanking her to the side. I saw that.”

I blush. “Anyone would have done it.”

He grins. “Ah, but you’d be surprised.” With that, he grabs Chloe and his staff grows, pulling him up out of the smoke.

I dash into a corner under the stairs. Students have been running out front, away from the smoke this whole time. As Cherry-Bomber keeps throwing her bombs, cursing out Chloe’s name, more and more smoke fills it up to where I feel safe transforming under here, knowing no one could see me.

“Eikka,” I hiss. She flies in front of my face. “Open wings.” A bright flash of light later, I’m running up the stairs to try to get a vantage point over the whole place.

“Eala!” Ladybug swings in. “Good to see you.”

“How do we go about this?” I ask. “What do you usually do?”

“Chat’s off getting Chloe to safety, though lord knows she deserves to see what she’s done this time,” Ladybug says. A bomb blows up Madame Bustier’s classroom as she speaks. “We make sure people are safe, then we gather information about the new villain. Strengths, weaknesses, that sort of thing. Then we use our powers and knowledge to capture the akuma.”

“I bet it’s in her hair clip,” I say. “Aren’t they usually in treasured objects?”

“Not everyone has them on their person at a time, but yeah, usually. If it’s not in a treasured object, it’s in something the villain would treasure. Like theri weapon or something.” Ladybug tenses. “Move!”

She swings away while I use the height to drop and take off, beating my wings and clearing the smoke. A bomb goes off right where we were sitting, and through the smoke I see the walls of the school stained with cherry juice.

“I don’t know what that juice does,” Ladybug yells, “but I’m guessing it’s not good.”

I nod, soaring underneath her and beating my wings. It clears the smoke somewhat, and by the time Chat lands on the roof, we’ve determined that Cherry-Bomber escaped in the chaos.

“I think this is what the juice does to you,” I say, landing somewhat ungracefully next to what used to be Alya. It’s essentially an Alya-shaped hard candy. I knock on it, then wince as I pull my hand back and it’s covered in the sticky juice.

“Don’t touch it,” I warn. “It’s sticky. Oh my god, it’s all over me.” I try to wipe it on the wall. It doesn’t come off.

“Chat, where’d you leave Chloe?” Ladybug says.

“I dumped her on a roof with specific instructions to stay down and don’t move. Whether she follows those is up to her.” Chat clears his throat. “We gotta find Cherry-Bomber before more people turn into- into whatever these are.”

We leave Alya behind and run out into the streets. “This is a cat-astrophe,” Chat says. “We lost her.”

“Eala, fly up and scan,” Ladybug orders.

“On it!” I say. It takes me a couple tries since I’ve never taken off from the ground before, but eventually I manage to heave myself into the air and get a look. I don’t see anything right away, but then, only a couple streets away, I find a trail of hard-candy people, and I find Cherry-Bomb.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir, wherever you are,” Cherry-Bomber cries, “give me your miraculous and this is all over.” I turn to fly away, and she launches a cherry at me. I narrowly miss it, swerving in the air. “You!” she screams. “Get back here!” She jumps, and damn she’s agile, because she leaps onto the rooftop and rains fire down onto me. Cherry explosions go off everywhere as I swerve through the air.

The school comes back into view, even though Chat and Ladybug do not. I yell for them. “I found her!” I yell. “I found her!” Another barrage of cherry bombs gets tossed and I yank my wings off my back and free-fall to avoid them. “Guys?” I scream as I fall, slapping my wings back on at the last second and wobbly swerve upward, twisting around to avoid yet another wave.

I hear Cherry-Bomb screech from behind and spin around, seeing Chat knock her onto the ground with his staff. Ladybug swings around her with the yo-yo, tying her up. But Cherry-Bomb’s got a cherry in her fist that she rolls towards Ladybug, who doesn’t see it.

“Feather Dance!” I cry, and the wind builds up in my palms. Landing hard on the ground, I release the gust that blows the bomb away. This would be amazing and noble if the bomb didn’t hit a building, rebound, and almost smack Chat Noir.

Cherry-Bomb cackles at me, then leans as far as she can in Ladybug’s tether and blows at me. I reach up behind me to grab my staff, but I can’t move my hand. Glancing at it, I see the sticky cherry juice from earlier has hardened, and it’s spreading quickly across my body.

“Don’t touch them!” I scream, twisting to see if Ladybug and Chat can hear me, and it’s in that position where the cherry goo spreads over my face and I’m frozen. My world turns red, and then fades.

It’s a warm feeling, the goo receding. My necklace is flashing like crazy, and I hit the ground, coughing. My mouth tastes like a cough drop.

“Eala!” Chat says, dropping next to me. “We got her.” He looks at my neck. “You’ve only got two minutes left.”

“Thanks,” I say. “That- that was weird.”

“Tell me about it,” Chat says, leaning back against a wall. “Usually I’m the one to touch the thing or sacrifice myself.”

I frown. “Any particular reason?”

“If it’s me, it’s not her,” Chat says. “Eala, if Ladybug goes down, so does Paris. Her Miraculous Ladybugs are what fix everything: they’re what saved you.” He smiles, and it’s soft and somewhat familiar. “I just destroy things.” His ring beeps. “Speaking of which. . .”

“See you, Chat,” I say, and he’s gone. I duck into an alleyway. “Close wings.”

Now to begin the walk back to school. The cherries must have gotten into my brain, because I have no idea where I am. This should be fun.

School continues despite the supervillain crashing through, although it takes a moment. I’m talking with Juleka and Rose, who were both cherry-bombed, when Alya runs up with Marinette.

“Did either of you see where that- that bird girl came from?” Alya’s bursting with excitement. “I mean, wow. Wow! Wings.”

“I didn’t see,” I say quickly.

“I have  _ got  _ to interview her for the Ladyblog.” Alya’s thumbs dance across her phone screen. “She popped up on Monday, too, but I figured it was some miraculous user who’d just show up occasionally, and only for serious cases, like Reena Rouge and Carapace.” She shakes her head. “Showing up for two akumatizations in a row could mean she’s something special.”

“I heard her name’s Eala,” Marinette says. She sighs. “I don’t know what she does, but it got us out of that cherry stuff faster.” She shivers.

“Eala,” Alya muses. “I’m posting about this.” She runs off to Nino’s side, talking his head off. Marinette follows her as the bell rings and we’re brought back up to class.

“I wanted to have this done today,” Felix frowns. “But I may need to extend it to tomorrow.” We’re having time in-class to work on our projects, and Felix is showing actual emotion, for once. It’s negative. Surprise, surprise.

“We’re getting in-class time. Surely you’re not disappointed,” I say, making a list. “Alright, so we need a typed book report- in depth, mind you- and an illustration of a turning point.”

“Can you draw?” Felix asks. “Because we’re probably going to have to split this up, and I know I’ll end up doing more work when I’m writing up the report, but it saves us having to debate the whole book and we get to finish this up sooner.”

“Sounds good to me,” I say. “And yes, I can draw a bit.” It’s been a while, but it won’t take too long hopefully, and I can do it by myself. “What do we consider a turning point? His death?”

“I think the rejection of medieval superstition was a much more critical point in history,” Felix says, bringing out his laptop and opening a fresh document. “I mean, it’s the point where people gave up on magic and murmurs, and they turned to a society based on science. Misguided science, mind you, but science nonetheless.”

I nod. “I think that’s a good idea.”

Felix stops moving. “I’m sorry.”

“I agree with you, dipshit.” I roll my eyes. “For once.”

Felix is silent for a moment more, then clears his throat. “Draw the release of all of the people convicted for sorcery. It’d be a cool moment.”

I nod. “Alright.”

We don’t speak after that.

It’s late that night when I finish, after an equally painful dinner where Amelie glares at me the whole time and my dad isn’t present. The rest of the table has seemed to figure out where if they pretend I don’t exist, she doesn’t call me a worm and tell me I’m not wanted. When I’m in my room, I get to drawing, shading in with colored pencils I don’t remember packing. And then it’s done and I’m proud of it.

Felix opens my door and sticks his head in right as I set down my blending pencil. “Celeste, do I need to block off time tomorrow for us to work? Because I could finish tonight, but I want us to have the same pace, if possible. That will facilitate a better project overall.”

“I finished,” I say. “You can come in and look at it, if you want.” He walks tentatively across the room and pick up the drawing I slide across the bed. His green eyes caress the page, and then he looks up at me.

“It’s good.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Felix says. “You’re good at drawing, Celeste.” He almost smiles- almost, I can see it hovering, see the corners of his mouth locked in a debate- but then he takes the drawing. “I’ll keep a hold of this until Friday. I’ll reference it in the report.” He turns to leave.

“Thanks.” He turns back, and I know my face is red. “For saying I’m good at drawing.”

“It’s a fact,” Felix says curtly. “You shouldn’t get so emotional about facts. Did you know the Earth is round? Go cry about it.” He stalks out of the room.

Eikka flies out as soon as he’s gone. “Girl, you need a lock on your door.”

I laugh, shoving my drawing supplies into a drawer. “Tell me about it.”

“I think he’s a sociopath,” she says cooly.

“Really?” I say, chuckling. “What do you know about sociopaths, Eikka?”

“If not a sociopath, then a robot for sure.” She shakes her head. “There’s no emotion on his face. Ever!” Eikka flies into my face. “There’s nothing.”

“I’ve noticed that too,” I say. “I don’t know about the sociopath thing, but I could get behind robot.” I yawn. “I’m going to get ready for bed.”

“You do that.” Eikka examines her wing. “You’re gonna have to get used to days like this.”

The statement rolls around in my head while I shower and brush my teeth and put on a pair of purple pajama pants. But it’s only when I’m lying in bed, almost sleeping, when I ask Eikka, “Is every day going to be like today?”

She sniffs. “You’ll get better at it, of course. Don’t worry, darling. I have complete faith in you.”

I hope she's not wrong.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all comments are welcome and appreciated and dearly loved! :)


	10. downhill, then uphill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think this one's the longest yet! is that a good or a bad thing?
> 
> i had a little bit of trouble writing this chapter- luka's such a tricky character to write, because he's such an interesting character. i hope i did him justice. let me know what you think, or what i can do to make him better, because he's going to be in here a lot! :)

“Celeste!” Alya cries on Friday. “Have you seen my latest Ladyblog post yet?”

I turn to face her, loving the way my dress swishes. It’s a solid, deep purple that I love, love, love. I’ve paired it with fishnet tights and my Doc Martens again. “I haven’t seen it yet,” I say, getting out my phone. “Should I?”

“Well, I managed to catch Ladybug last night,” Alya says, beaming, “and she told me all about this Eala girl. She’s got the miraculous of the swan, she’s new to the game, and she’s apparently not even one of the accepted miraculouses!”

“Oh,” I say, feeling a blush creep into my cheeks. “That’s kind of weird.”

"No one even knew what her name was," Alya continues. "It's pretty, but you can't pronounce it at all. Ah-la." She shakes her head.

"I didn't even know what her name was until now," I lie.

“The full story is in the blog,” Alya says. “You should check it out.”

I open it up on my phone. The headline is giant: EALA THE SWAN- CAN SHE BE TRUSTED?

I skim the article. It talks about how Eikka was banned from the miracle box, how I showed up out of the blue “‘unaware of her powers at all,’ Ladybug stated. ‘She was almost too eager to help out and seemed almost too aware of what was going on.’” It speaks about how I quickly succumbed to cherry goop (“was it a tactic? A hidden plot?”), how Ladybug had never heard of me (“as the Guardian, she’s the Keeper of the Miraculous- yet clueless.”), and ended with saying that Eala was an unknown variable who “might not be trustworthy. Paris is better off in the hands of our tried-and-true heroes.”

“I- I need to go,” I say to no one in particular, but then the bell rings and we rush into class. I barely sit down in my seat before Madame Bustier asks who’s presenting their project first. Paris doesn’t trust me? Ladybug doesn’t trust me! I became a hard candy for her! I almost transformed in front of Chat Noir for her! I helped her twice now, and Eikka keeps telling me I’m doing the right thing!

“Celeste,” Felix says. “Get up. We’re presenting.” His hand rests lightly on my shoulder, and I shrug it off quickly, turning and digging through my backpack.

“Felix, I can’t find the picture,” I say, panicked. “I don’t remember where I put it.”

“I have it,” he says. “For crying out loud, Celeste, focus.” He motions me down to the front of the room. He turns to the front of the class. “Alright, so we decided to agree with Voltaire on this one.” He drones on and on while I think back. They’re saying I can’t be trusted? I thought Ladybug did trust me. She said Hawkmoth could only akumatize one person at a time. So she trusted me. Was she lying to me?

It hurts more than I want to admit it.

And all of that about how I showed up ‘too’ conveniently- that’s an issue? How is it a problem that I’m on time? I show up when I saw I was needed? Even though according to the article, I guess I’m not needed. So should I give up? Maybe I should. Leave it to them. I was terrible at it anyway.

But my mom was Eala. She did this.

I don’t want to give up anything that was hers. But I can’t show up again! God, if I was hated by the whole of Paris who knows what would happen? No one trusts me! I’ll be locked up and forced to transform back, and Hawkmoth will see that it’s the girl who resisted his akuma and then I’ll be dead for sure.

“Celeste,” Felix says. “Celeste, snap out of it.” I blink, looking up. He’s holding out my drawing. “You’ve gotta present.”

“Right,” I say. I take the drawing, trying to focus myself. “Okay, so we drew- I drew, I mean- a turning point. It’s, um- it’s the people who were convicted for witchcraft being left out of the- I mean,  _ let _ out of the prison.” I swallow, trying to keep my hands from shaking as I hold the picture. “It’s when people renounced. . . . when they renounced, um medieval superstition.” My voice shakes, and I close my eyes, trying to remember. “It’s a turn from science- wait.” I swallow again, biting my cheek. “Towards science. Bad science, but still science.” I go to point at the elements in the drawing, but my hand shakes and I drop it. “Sorry- sorry.” I kneel to pick it up.

Felix drops to his knees next to me. “Celeste, are you okay?” he whispers, his eyes showing actual emotion- concern. For me. “You seem. . . unsettled.”

I look into his eyes, letting my hair fall in front of my face to hide it. “Not really,” I whisper. “But- but I’m fine. Let’s just finish this presentation, okay?”

“I’ll take it from here,” Felix says curtly, so when we stand up I just hold the picture up and he blathers on and on about the respective elements of design in it, wrapping up our presentation. He takes the picture from me again, which is probably a smart move. Placing it on top of the typed report, he hands the whole thing to Madame Bustier then places his hand on the back of my arm, gently guiding me to my seat.

I sit in a haze while other people present their projects, that stupid blog post running through my head again and again. I try to keep myself positive, but a little voice in my head says  _ Let Hawkmoth try _ . I welcome the pain, I deserve the pain, to have failed in so many ways. My mind is a drill tunnelling into a mine of negativity. I’m not wanted at home, so I tried to do some good, and I guess I’m not wanted in Paris either.

“Celeste,” someone says. “Celeste?” I look up and see Marinette.

“Hey,” I say, rolling my neck. “Is it lunch already? I kind of zoned out.” I try to laugh at myself, but the laugh comes out as more of a whine.

“Yeah,” Marinette says. “Kitty Section has rehearsal after school, if you want to come. It was nice to have someone to sit with last time.” She blushes.

I may not be wanted at home as Celeste or in Paris as Eala, but I am wanted by my friends, and that is enough.

“I’ll check with my dad,” I say, grinning. “I’d love to come. Maybe you can show me some more of your designs?”

“Only if you play me some of your music,” Marinette says.

I hold out a hand. She shakes it. “It’s a deal.”

During lunch the girls are all talking about random things that I don’t really pay attention to. I eat an apple. Apples are good. I’ve always liked apples.

“Earth to Celeste,” Alya says. “Earth to Celeste.”

“Huh?” I look up.

“You seemed weirded out this morning.” She folds her arms on the table. “What disturbed you so much about my blog?”

“I don’t know,” I say, internally panicking. “I guess- I guess I saw myself in her, kind of?” Alya raises an eyebrow. “We’re both new in town, I guess. Or at least new-ish in my case.” I can almost see the puzzle pieces connecting in Alya’s brain. “I’ve been here for seven months now, and I still don’t really feel like I fit in, you know? She’s probably trying her best, and she’s new to all of that, which I don’t envy at all, by the way.” I shudder. “I have enough trouble trying to deal with living with Felix. I can’t imagine dealing with a bunch of Felixes.”

That makes them laugh, and Alya leans back, looking curious. “Do you like her?”

I think for a moment. “I don’t know,” I say. “I don’t really know her at all. But she’s been trying to save the city and do the right thing. So I suppose I could get behind her.”

Alya groans. “Well, damn.” She purses her lips. “I didn’t know you were here that long.”

“You thought she was Eala?” Marinette says. “Is that what you’re doing?” She laughs.

Alya blushes. “I made a whole fake blog post to see how she’d react.” She pouts, crossing her arms and making her nose squish. “But there’s no way she’d show up this late. Damn it!” Alya takes out her phone. “I gotta tell the readers that it was a prank. Someone’s gonna try to egg her or something.”

“You never interviewed Ladybug?” Alix says. “What if she reads it?”

“I told her about my plan when I interviewed her,” Alya says. “Bitch, please. It’s been what, five years? Six? We’re pretty tight by now.”

Marinette giggles. “Look at Alya, getting all high and mighty.”

Alya shrugs. “Yup, I’m leaving y’all for Ladybug. Peace out.” She flashes a peace sign and pretends to get up from the table, sitting down and laughing. She picks up her phone again, hurriedly tapping it. “There. It’s deleted with a full explanation and the correct blog post.” She grins. “I wrote two blog posts! Just to expose Celeste! Damn.”

“You’ll have to try harder to get her, I guess.” I try to laugh it off, but really there’s a bead of sweat dripping down my back. I cannot wait for this day to be over.

  
  


I walk with the same group as last time plus Adrien, who apparently does keyboard sometimes, and Felix, who saw that Adrien and I were going somewhere and insisted on coming with us. 

“What have you got so far for the commercial?” I ask Marinette. She shows me her possible designs as we walk, chattering about clothing.

“It’s gotta be more low-key because we wouldn't be the main focus of the commercial, right?” Marinette says as we board the boat. “But we also want to make a name for ourselves, so it’s gotta be distinct.” She grins. “I’ll figure something out.”

We sit down on the couch again. “So,” Marinette says, a mischievous smile on her face. “I believe we had a deal.”

“We did,” I concede, and I pull out my laptop and headphones from my bag, handing them over and queueing up the song I made with Luka’s guitar. While Marinette listens, I see Luka across the boat. He sees me and gives me a wave. I wave back, blushing.

“Who’s that?” Felix asks, slumping on the couch next to me.

“You could have gone home, you know,” I say.

He sniffs, turning his nose up. “As if. I’m not going to sit alone at home while Adrien’s here.”

“Your mom’s not gonna like this,” I say. “She seems like the helicopter parent type.”

“She actually wants me to be involved in more things. Besides, if  _ you  _ can get in the band, surely I can too.”

I laugh. “I’m not in the band, Felix. I’m here to hang out with Marinette.” I narrow my eyes at him. “Know your place.”

I turn back to Marinette, who’s taking off the headphones. “That’s amazing!” she says. “Celeste, that’s so cool.”

“If I had a better way to record Luka’s guitar, it’d be a lot better,” I say. “I need to ask him if he has an idea for that.”

“You should mess around with the commercial song when we figure it out,” Marinette says. “Or hell, before we figure it out.”

“Oh, no,” I say, shaking my head. “Y’all figure it out, I’ll produce it. Do not put all the pressure on me, girl!” We laugh about that for enough time so Luka comes over and I don’t even notice.

“Hello, Celeste,” he says softly, standing behind the couch and whispering into my ear. He straightens as I jump and whip around. “Marinette. And who’s this gentleman?”

“This is Felix,” I say. “Felix lives with me and Adrien.”

“You live with me,” Felix says quickly. “You know if I complain enough, we could turn you out on the streets.”

“Thank you,” I retort, “for that lovely sentiment.” I turn back to Luka, opening my mouth when Felix speaks up again.

“It’s true, you know. My mother asks me every day if I’m bothering you too much.” He leans back into the cushions, his arm lazily flopped over the back of the couch. An evil smile creeps over his face. “She says we can get rid of you at any point. Send you off, keep your father. You know.”

“Then why haven’t you?” I snap. “Since you hate me so.”

He shrugs. “Pity.”

“Celeste,” Luka says. “I have a new tune I’d like you to hear. Come with me?” His face is so serene, and in his eyes I see the lifeboat he’s thrown me.

“I’d love to,” I say, getting up quickly. Luka walks around the couch and grabs my laptop and headphones from Marinette, handing them to me. Placing his hand on the small of my back, he leads me me away from Felix.

He takes me into the boat and into a room that I realize very quickly is his bedroom. “Are you okay?” he asks, his voice filled with concern. “That guy seems like a prick.”

I shrug. “I mean, yeah. You get used to it.”

“Does he do that a lot? Remind you he can remove you?” Luka grasps my arms, kneeling on one knee so he can look me in the eyes. For once, I’m looking down at someone.

“No,” I say, almost laughing. “No, that’s new.” I meet his eyes. “I’m fine, Luka.”

“Is everything okay at home, Celeste?” he says softly. His hands slide down my arms to hold my hands, which he squeezes gently. He’s wearing dark nail polish.

“It’s weird, but it’s safe,” I say. “Don’t worry about me, Luka.”

He smiles. “You seem like you can hold your own, anyway.” We stand like that for a moment, him on one knee in front of me and me content to stare into his eyes. Then he gets to his feet and sits on his bed with his guitar in his lap, patting the space next to him. “Sit.”

I sit. “You have a new song?”

“I find difficulty explaining myself through words,” Luka says. “I find music to be much easier.” He picks up a guitar pick. “This, Celeste, is how I find myself feeling about you.”

With a small gasp, my lips part, and he begins playing. The song itself is soft and sweet, curious and playful. It’s beautiful and kind, gentle in a way I never knew music could be. I close my eyes, letting the music sink into me.

When it ends, I turn to him, opening my eyes and staring directly at him. “I think you’re something, Celeste,” Luka says. “There’s a spark in you that calls to me.”

I don’t say anything for a moment, just stare into his eyes again. How can someone have eyes with so much soul in them? “I think you’re something, too,” I breathe.

He laughs. “Do you know why Juleka was so insistent on you meeting me?”

“You’re a musical genius,” I say.

Luka chuckles again, shaking his head. “She wanted to set us up.”

I blink. “Seriously?”

He nods, a grin breaking out on his face. “I thought there was no way she was right. She barely knew you, but she said she wanted me to be happy. I’ve had some bad luck in relationships. I thought you would be another case of bad luck.” Luka turns to me, sitting cross-legged facing me. I turn to match his form. “But you were so passionate, I find myself wanting to go on a date with you.”

“Really,” I say, warmth blooming in my chest. “A date.”

“Really,” he says. “What about it? Should I chalk this up to more bad luck?”

I lean back, thinking. Should I go on a date with Luka, the calmest thing in my hectic life? The boy who made the melody that completed my song? The one who said he was happy I’d used his tune because I was passionate about it. The most attractive guy I’ve ever seen, whose smile makes me smile, whose laugh makes me feel warm inside.

“I don’t think you should chalk this up to bad luck at all,” I say softly. I smile at him, and he smiles back.

“Lucky me,” Luka says, and he reaches out to take my hand, giving it a squeeze. “You want to play around with your laptop and my guitar?”

“I’d love to,” I say, jumping off his bed and grabbing my laptop from where it sits on the floor. “But I think we need to find a better way to record it- oh my goodness!” Luka’s pulled a recording mic out of his nightstand.

“My mom had it lying around,” he says. “I thought you’d like it.”

“Like it? This is fantastic!” I laugh. “I can use your melodies with all of the sound quality they deserve!”

“Well then,” Luka says. “I guess we’d better get started, then. Anything in particular you want to hear?” He pats the spot on his bed again, and I perch on the edge of his bed instead, my laptop perched on my lap.

I pull up the program on my laptop. “Whatever you play I want to hear.”

“Alright,” he says. “Whenever you’re ready.”

  
  


We record for twenty minutes, him plucking out random tunes and me grabbing them up as quickly as I can. When Rose comes downstairs to get him to come back to practice, she finds us sitting next to each other, my head on his shoulder as I play out a tune, adjusting various things.

“Luka, we need you back,” she squeaks. She gives me a not-so-subtle thumbs up.

“Be there in a moment, Rose,” he says. She vanishes back upstairs. “Do you have your phone, Celeste?”

“Right here,” I say, handing it over. He types in his number then hands it back. I feel positively giddy.

“Call me this weekend.” Luka smiles. It’s peaceful, serene, a calming presence. I breathe deeply before nodding.

“When will this date be?” I ask as we walk back out onto the main deck of the boat.

Luka grins. “Depends when you call me. I need your number to plan a date, of course.”

“Of course,” I echo, laughing.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” he says, right as we reach the band. “You look beautiful today.” He winks, turning to the group with his guitar at the ready.

I almost float back to the couch, sitting down even though I feel as though I could fly. Felix extinguishes the attitude almost immediately.

“I don’t like that guy. Any guy with nail polish weirds me out,” Felix complains.

“Are you serious?” I say. “How about guys that insist on wearing a vest and tie everywhere?”

He sneers at me. “Maybe I’ll have you removed. I don’t see the point in keeping you around.”

“Shut the fuck up, Felix,” I say, sliding my headphones on. I tune him out for the rest of rehearsal, letting myself float while I pluck apart Luka’s melodies, selecting which ones are used for each of the various projects I have saved.

When rehearsal ends, Luka waits for me by the boardwalk, catching me before I leave. “I look forward to your call, Celeste,” he says.

“I look forward to our date,” I say. He squeezes my hand. “Will you get tired of me if I come to the next practice?” I ask.

“I don’t think I could get tired of you,” he says, laughing. “Not right now, anyway.”

“We’ll see once you get to know me better,” I tease. “Lean down, I want to whisper something to you.”

Looking amused, he leans over. Instead of whispering, I kiss his cheek. “I’ll call you, I promise,” I say softly. “Thanks for rescuing me from Felix today.”

“Anytime,” he says, straightening. There’s a twinkle in his eye. “Celeste, will you tell me if he actually does kick you out? Or if anything terrible happens at home?”

I think it over. “Yes,” I whisper. “If anything happens, you’ll be the first to know.”

He nods, and his smile is sad. “Goodbye, Celeste.”

“Bye, Luka.” I smile and wave, then cross the boardwalk and climb into the Gorilla’s car, where Adrien and Felix are already waiting. I stare out the window at Luka, and I don’t think he can see me through the tint, because as soon as the door closes, a giant smile breaks over his face. He laughs towards the sky as we drive away.

When we get home, I put my things in my room, but I’m bursting with happiness. I want to tell someone, anyone.

I want to tell Mom. She’d be so happy for me. I can imagine her giving me a hug, and the two of us dancing around the kitchen the way we used to before dancing was too hard for her.

But she’s gone.

I let myself wallow before I remember an agreement, and I run through the house and knock on the door several times before it’s opened by Adrien Agreste.

“Hi,” I say, breathless. “I- I was feeling sad. And I wanted to tell my mom something. But she- she’s gone. Can I tell- can I tell you?”

Adrien gives me a warm smile, and I feel welcome in this house for the first time. “Of course.”

  
  



	11. luka is pleasantly surprised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so this chapter is a bit shorter! i also sort of established a setting here when it comes to the time- this story takes place about two years, give or take, after the end of season 3. so if they were all 15 at the end of season 3, they're all 17 now! luka, however, is two years older than his sister, so he's 19 now. hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

I first see her across the boat, sitting on the couch with a laptop and a pair of headphones that’s bigger than she is.

She’s tiny. She’s  _ tiny. _ Surely Juleka isn’t trying to set me up with this girl. She burst home after school yesterday saying there was a new girl she thought I would like. “You need to get over Marinette, brother. It’s been two years.” That’s what she said, but this can’t be the girl. She’s a child.

How can a child help me get over the girl I watched from afar? The girl I would have given anything for? The girl who listened to me play my heart to her, then told me she still had feelings for another guy she was too scared to talk to?

How can a child help mend a broken heart?

“Jules, that’s a child,” I hiss to my sister.

“She’s just really short,” Juleka says, waving me off. “She’s in my class, Luka. And before you say ‘maybe she skipped a grade’ she’s definitely my age.”

“Dating someone your age did not work out,” I say. “Just pointing that out.”

“Give her a chance, brother,” Juleka retorts. Then Rose counts us down and we’re playing again.

When we get a break, I lean on the railing and look out over the canal. It’s a strange thing, the canal. It’s constantly changing, yet always the same. A melody plays out in my head. But then Juleka taps my shoulder, and she introduces us. Her name is Celeste.

She’s shorter than I pictured- this girl must be four feet tall. She nervously tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, and looks up at me. Her eyes meet mine. They’re strange, a pale grey that seems perpetually pensive. But there’s something in them that makes me look again at her. She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear again, and I see the bones in her wrist. Not only is this girl tiny, but she’s also skinny, too. Almost too skinny.

I see here, the first reason Juleka thought she’d help me over Marinette. She has the same little docile look to her. The same amount of girliness, the same general vibe of being feminine.

The reminder of Marinette makes me give up on her, just like that. So I play my melody, the one of the river, and Celeste gets excited. “Give me a second,” she says. And just like that, she’s sitting cross-legged at my feet, her computer in her lap.

She tells me to play it again, looking up at me, and her eyes are alive. And that, there, that’s the second reason Juleka picked her. She has the same burning passion in her eyes that Marinette has.

The passion alone gets me to play, and then she’s sitting there clicking and tapping away, and I’m unsure of what to do. Should I say something? Should I do something? It’s been several minutes now, but she’s lost in her work. Distracted.

That’s reason number three- she loses herself as easily as Marinette.

I’m not sure what Juleka was thinking- I tried to date Marinette. I failed. It failed. I don’t want another Marinette. There's no way this girl and I would ever work out, because if she's Marinette then it surely could never work. I decide to let my sister down easily and keep this girl solidly in the friend zone if I ever speak to her again.

Then she looks up, and I feel like I can ask her now. Her sentences are tilted as she explains her project, and it’s almost as though her brain’s moving too fast for her voice to keep up. And then I listen to it, and wow.

The only reason I didn’t throw this girl out in my mind was another reason Juleka must have thought she could help me. Her music is full of passion, and I can almost feel the emotion seeping into my ears. It speaks of sadness and overcoming it, and it speaks the way I do. Through the wavelengths of music. She’s lost something huge, and she’s trying to fight past it, but she’s struggling. I can hear it.

I feel connected to this girl, now. To Celeste.

I tell Juleka that I don’t hate her, that I’d like to see her again perhaps. Juleka looks so happy. I brush the bangs back from her face to tell her thank you. She beams at me. I love my sister.

  
  


So the next time Celeste comes onto the boat, I watch from a distance. She’s beautiful today, wearing a dress of the deepest, richest purple I’ve ever seen. But it’s not a girly dress, it’s a grungy dress, and I find myself drawn to the difference in the styles. A grungy girl stands before me today, while a cute girly girl stood before me on Tuesday. There’s another boy here today, one who’s sitting close enough to her to make me feel jealous. He looks like Adrien.

She’s lost in her music for a bit, and then the boy says something to her. She turns to him and says something back, and the two go back and forth for a bit. Her facial expressions are bored, exasperated, annoyed, until she turns and snaps something at him, something scathing. Her eyes narrow, then she turns her back to him and starts chatting with Marinette, a smile on her face. It’s rude, and it looks like she’s vicious to this random boy.

And that’s right when I know I want to date this girl. The fifth reason. She did something Marinette never could- she spoke up to this boy. Marinette could speak up, she could. But never like this. No, Marinette was always frightened, trying to be friends with everyone. She’d stay quiet in the face of injustice if it meant her friends stayed by her side. But Celeste- she’s being downright bitchy when I’m sure she knows I’m watching.

So I walk over to her, and she doesn’t notice me, so I bend over the considerable difference and whisper a greeting in her ear, and she jumps. She’s adorable. I stand up, giving an awkward greeting to Marinette. “Who’s this gentleman?” I ask her, referring to the person she was vicious to.

“This is Felix,” Celeste says, her voice conveying a twinge of annoyance. “Felix lives with me and Adrien.” I try not to react to the strange living situation.

“You live with me,” Felix says quickly. “You know if I complain enough, we could turn you out on the streets.” His eyes are narrowing quickly, and I guess from this that Celeste’s family is working for Felix and Adrien’s somehow.

“Thank you,” Celeste bites, “for that lovely sentiment.” She turns to me, her mouth opening as she’s about to say something, when he cuts in again. I can see the desperation in her eyes.

“It’s true, you know. My mother asks me every day if I’m bothering you too much.” He leans back into the cushions, his arm lazily flopped over the back of the couch. A devious smile creeps across his face. “She says we can get rid of you at any point. Send you off, keep your father. You know.” He looks pleased to be goading Celeste in this way, and I can see how she’s trying to resist his biting jabs.

“Then why haven’t you?” she snaps. “Since you hate me so.” She’s trying to come off as sarcastic, but she sounds almost desperate, and I can hear how it rings true in her voice. She feels hated by this boy.

He shrugs. “Pity.” I could slap him, maybe.

“Celeste,” I say carefully, trying to find a way to get her out of there. “I have a new tune I’d like you to hear. Come with me?” She looks up at me, relief showing.

“I’d love to,” she says in a breath, jumping up as though the couch is on fire. I grab her headphones and laptop, thinking she’ll probably forget them. I tuck them under one arm and place my hand on her back, gently guiding her away from the guy so he can’t say anything else to hurt her, lest I punch him in the face.

I take her away, to my room, where I look at her. I take a moment and look at her. From what I heard, he thinks Celeste is below him because of her family’s work, and he lets her know it. I look at her now, really look at her, and I see the sadness in her eyes and how she’s small; she’s so small, and skinny too. I wonder if she’s eating enough there.

“Are you okay?” I say, longing to pull her into my arms. “That guy seems like a prick.” I want to protect her. I want to hold her and never let anyone hurt her again.

She shrugs, so nonchalant. “I mean, yeah. You get used to it.” Those words break my heart. You shouldn’t have to get used to be repeated torn at.

“Does he do that a lot? Remind you he can remove you?” I reach out, my hands squeezing her arms right above her elbows. I kneel down on one knee, looking into her eyes, trying to convey how she can tell me anything, everything.

“No,” she says, almost laughing, but it’s almost desperate in its cadence. “No, that’s new.” She finally looks up from her shoes into my eyes. “I’m fine, Luka.” Her voice is soft and sweet.

“Is everything okay at home, Celeste?” I say softly, unable to keep the question veiled any longer. I slide my hands down her skinny arms, barely any flesh on her bones, and take her hands instead, squeezing them gently. They’re cold to the touch. 

“It’s weird, but it’s safe,” she says, looking resolved. “Don’t worry about me, Luka.” I decide to take her on that, anyway.

So I smile. “You seem like you can hold your own, anyway.” I watched her, and I love the confidence I can see in her. We stay like that for a moment, before I decide I ought to tell her. I climb onto my bed, patting the empty space next to me. “Sit.”

She sits, almost jumping onto the bed. “You have a new song?”

I smile, and take her on a musical journey into my heart.

She leaves in the car I know belongs to the Agrestes, and I laugh into the air, feeling almost giddy. She kissed me on the cheek. She promised to let me know if anything dangerous were to happen to her at home. I can keep her safe, and she can make me happy.

I haven’t felt this happy in a long time.

Juleka comes up to me. “How’d it go with Celeste?”

“She’s- she’s amazing,” I say, shaking my head in disbelief. “Juleka, where’d you even find this girl?”

“On the bathroom floor, actually,” Juleka says. “She was crying. An akuma came at her, and she resisted it, but it hurt her.”

“She was akumatized? Was she that cherry thing?” I try to picture the tiny girl as the tall cherry person. I can’t quite get it.

“No, she wasn’t akumatized,” Juleka says. “She resisted it entirely, Luka. The akuma couldn’t get to her.”

“Wow,” I say, and I lean on the railing again. “Wow. She’s immune.”

“She was in agony, Luka. She’s not immune, I don’t think.” Juleka leans next to me. “I think she’s just really, really strong.” She shakes her head. “Her mom died less than a year ago, you know that?”

“I didn’t,” I say. That explains the sadness in her eyes. “What’s her home like? That Felix seems awful.”

“From what I’ve heard, she just moved to the Agreste manor on Monday. Her dad is Felix’s bodyguard.” Juleka’s bangs flop in a gust of wind. “She doesn’t like it, so far.”

“She’s tiny,” I note.

Juleka nods. “She’s ridiculously small. Not smaller than Mylene, than.”

“It’s not as noticeable on Mylene,” I say, surprised. “She’s really taller that Mylene?”

“Yeah!” Juleka says, laughing. “You think- you think it’s because Celeste is so skinny?”

“She looks almost fragile,” I say. “That can’t be healthy.” Celeste looks as though a strong wind could blow her over.

“She seems to be doing fine,” Juleka says, shrugging. “She’s had a tricky year.” She stands up, pulling away from the railing. “Do you want to play a game or something?”

“Sure,” I say, but my mind is still on Celeste. The way she’s everything I loved about Marinette, and more than her at the same time. The way she snapped back at Felix today. The way he crumbled her. I can’t believe she has to live with that boy.

Every time I close my eyes, I see her grey eyes staring back at me. I rub my wrist and feel her hands in mine. I touch my cheek and imagine her lips, soft as a butterfly’s wing in the way they brushed my skin.

I realize too late that I’m head over heels for a tiny child, a wisp of a girl. A wisp of a girl with a spark of passion, a fiery burst of personality, a feisty viper’s tongue. Someone who understands my love of music, who sees my melodies the way I do.

I think I’ve fallen quite hard for Celeste.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what you think! luka is so difficult to write, so i really want to know what you guys think, what he wouldn't do/say, etc.


	12. some people are better than other people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! you might have noticed that i changed the warning from not having any to making it teen and up. i sat down yesterday and thought about everything i wanted to have and the plan for the next ten or so chapters, and i decided to move up the rating a bit just in case, i guess. i have some stuff planned that will hopefully (!!!) be really cool and idk i think it'll be awesome. however, the rating probably needed to be moved cuz i plan on having some lovely gore stuff, a good amount of steamy, hot romantic moments ;) and i'm definitely going to include a couple things that could be triggering for some people and should not be read by tiny children! (not that there are tiny children reading this. god, i hope there aren't tiny children on this site.) by the way, any of the chapters concerning a potentially triggering subject will have a warning at the beginning! anyway, i hope you're enjoying this! it's gonna be great! sorry for the long note! :)

“I’m sorry,” I say to Adrien. “You probably didn’t want to hear absolutely everything.”

He shrugs, sitting up on the couch. We’re sitting in his room, his absolute  _ palace  _ of a bedroom. He was lying down, sprawled lazily across his side, while I sit up facing him on the other side, talking animatedly about Luka.

“I’d love to hear everything,” he says. “If that’s what you need right now, tell me everything.”

“I owe you,” I say, flushing.

He waves me off. “I’m sure I’ll come to talk to you at some point.”

“Thanks, though,” I say, hugging my legs into my chest. “I- I really wanted to tell her.”

“I’m here to be your stand-in mother, aren’t I? We shook on it!” Adrien says, laughing. “I’m very happy for you, Celeste. Luka’s a great guy.”

I burrow my face into my folded knees, curling myself up tightly. “What about you?” I ask, peeking over my kneecaps. “Any special girl in your life?”

Adrien shakes his head. “I was dating this girl Kagami for a bit, but her mom took her to Japan for advanced fencing training.” He flops backward, his hair spreading around his head like a halo on the couch pillow. “She’s an amazing fencer.”

“That’s how you met?” I ask. He nods.

“She was my rival for a bit, but we started working together, learning off of each other. She’s _amazing_ ,” he says again. “I miss her.” He sighs, his eyes sloping sadly but a tiny smile on his face.

I look at my watch. “Oh my god, we’re gonna be late for dinner.” I scramble to my feet, but my head spins and I fall, landing on my hands and knees in front of the couch.

“Are you okay?” Adrien says, dropping to his knees next to me, his hand on my back.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I say, sitting up and laughing. “Stood up too fast, I think.”

“You gotta be careful with that,” he says, helping me to my feet.

“Yeah.” I nod. While we walk to the door, I swallow and say, “Thanks for letting me talk to you.”

Adrien smiles. “Anytime, Celeste.” He holds the door open for me and we walk to dinner together. We arrive at 7:37. Seven minutes late. I try the dining room door, but it doesn’t budge. I turn to Adrien, unable to believe this. “It’s locked!”

With a deep breath that says he doesn’t believe me, Adrien frowns. “There’s no way,” he says, trying the knob himself. It clicks. He steps back, an expression of shock in his features.

“Well,” I say, “she hates me that much. I’m impressed.” I turn to him. “I’m so sorry, you’re out here because of me. Because I kept talking to you.”

Adrien waves me off. “There’s no reason she would do that, Celeste. I’m sure there’s another reason.” He knocks on the door three times. Amelie’s voice filters through.

“Who is it?” she asks, and I throw my hands up knowing she’s hoping it’s just Adrien.

“It’s me, Adrien, and Celeste is with me.” Adrien steps back from the door before Amelie opens it, glaring at me.

“Come in, Adrien,” she says. Adrien grabs my hand and goes to pull me in behind him, vanishing behind the cracked-open door, but Amelie reaches out and her hand connects with my shoulder, carrying a force I didn’t know she possessed. I stumble, and she pushes again, and I land on my ass on the marble floor.

“What the hell?” I say, rubbing my shoulder. “You’re going to push me? Really?”

She turns to go back inside the dining room, looking over her shoulder at me. “You wish to have dinner, show up on time. Don’t make poor Adrien suffer for your mistakes.” She steps inside, slamming the door behind her. I hear the lock click.

I open my mouth, trying to form words, then close it, knowing there’s nothing I can say that will matter. Instead I curl up again, pulling my knees into my chest and bowing my head, letting the empty feeling fill my body while I stare at my watch, the minutes ticking by slowly.

I don’t see the akuma enter Gabriel’s entrance hall. I don’t even think I see it fly towards me. I see it when it hits my watch, though, and my watch heats up, turning boiling in less than a second.

I scream as it turns a deep indigo and I can smell my burning flesh, my fingerprints singeing off my other hand as I hurriedly unfasten the damn thing and send it across the floor. It skitters, hitting a wall and coming to a stop. I cradle the ruined flesh of my wrist to my chest, my breath coming in giant gulps, as the akuma flies out of the watch and starts flying towards me again.

“Celeste, are you okay?” I hear Adrien yell. “Amelie says you’re being dramatic.”

“There’s an akuma!” I sob, trying to scoot backwards across the floor, but I can’t use my left hand because my wrist is cooked and my other hand is holding my arm, so it’s just with my feet and I’m not really going anywhere, so the akuma dives at me and I roll to the side just as the dining room doors burst open. Adrien and Nathalie stand at each door.

“Adrien, take your cousin and your aunt and go,” Nathalie says, her eyes steely. She whips a fan out of her coat and starts flapping it towards me, trying to blow away the evil butterfly. It dives at me again, and I roll again, but I roll over my burned wrist and throw myself back as a reflex. The akuma flies at my earring this time, and I feel the burning start again and start screaming.

“Get it off, get it off!” I sob, reaching up and pulling my hair away. Nathalie rushes to my side, beating the fan against me as the akuma gives up and flies out of the earring and I gasp, panting. Amelie drags Felix out the front door as the akuma turns mid-air, and despite Nathalie’s frantic attempts to get it away from me, it dives into my head again and I’m curling into a fetal position, screaming my head off.

“You’ll. . . be. . . mine,” Hawkmoth snarls in my head.

_get out_ get out Get Out “ _ Get out _ !” I howl. Tears stream down my cheeks as a dark laugh sounds in my head and the akuma flies out. I go limp, letting my body relax as the akuma flies through the ceiling.

“Adrien, come on!” Felix says, poking his head back in. I realize Adrien’s still standing in the doorway to the dining room, his eyes on me. I close my eyes, my body shaking.

“It’s over,” Nathalie informs Felix. “Bring your mother back in.” Felix vanishes to get his mother. “Celeste, tell me what happened.” Her voice is calm and level the whole time.

“It flew into my watch,” I whisper, uncurling myself enough to show my wrist. I want to gag at the sight of it- the area that was once covered by my watch is now a bright red, speckled with blisters. The whole thing seems to glisten. “And my earring.” The pain at my ear isn’t quite as bad as my wrist, but it’s pretty damn close.

“Can I try to remove your earring?” Nathalie asks, and I nod, sniffing. Nathalie’s touch hurts, especially as she tugs on my earring and it won’t come out. “I think it might be melted into your ear,” she says. “Ah, Mr. Agreste.”

I turn my head to see Gabriel standing at the doorway to his office. “Let me see,” he says, walking over. He picks up my arm, examining my wrist and then my ear. “She ought to go to the hospital.”

“Where’s my dad?” I ask. My breathing is shallow. “I want my dad,” I whisper.

“He’s busy,” Amelie snaps. “He’s on the job.”

“You’re here,” I say, feeling exhausted. “Where’s he?”

“Take Adrien’s bodyguard,” Gabriel snaps. “Let her have her father.”

“I sent him out,” Amelie says. “I’ll send him to you when he gets back.” Her face softens ever so slightly.

“I’ll come with you,” Adrien says. “Can I go with her, Father? She shouldn’t be alone.” He looks at me and winks, and I know he’s thinking that my mom would come with me.

Gabriel looks him over. “Very well,” he says. “Adrien, your bodyguard will drive you and come with you. Nathalie, stay back with me.”

Adrien nods, then helps me to my feet, wrapping his arm around my back and letting me hold onto his other arm. I wipe my cheeks, trying to dry my tears, then accept his arm and let him lead me outside and into the car, which was already pulled up at the front, probably to be Amelie’s getaway car.

The Gorilla starts driving to the hospital, and Adrien and I sit silently in the back until he speaks. “I don’t know why Amelie’s so horrible to you.”

“I don’t know either,” I say softly. “I wish she weren’t. I genuinely don’t think I did anything.” I sniff, trying to ignore the awful pain in my wrist and ear. “I mean, I talk back to her. But just because she’s so horrible.”

“It’s not fair,” Adrien says. We sit silently for a bit longer before he speaks again. “So Hawkmoth attempted to akumatize you twice in one week, huh?”

“Apparently,” I say softly. “He’s- he’s just so  _ awful _ .” I shudder.

“He’s in your head?” Adrien says, his eyes widening ever so slightly.

“He speaks,” I say, and it’s barely louder than a breath. “He speaks to me in my head.” I shake my head until some hair brushes my ear and I hiss.

“What hurts?” Adrien asks immediately.

“My hair hit my ear,” I say, biting my cheek.

“Do you want me to get it out of the way?” Adrien asks.

I turn to him, surprised. “Can you?”

“I know how to braid,” he says.

“I have a hair tie,” I say, looking to my other wrist. “You can use it.” He nods, pulling it off my wrist. I’m not wearing a seatbelt, so I turn until my back is to him. Soon I feel a gentle tugging at my hair.

“What does he say to you?” Adrien asks. “Hawkmoth, I mean.”

I take a deep breath. “This time he just said ‘you’ll be mine’. Last time it was a bunch of ‘how can you resist my akuma’ and ‘what are you’ and ‘i’ll get you’ sort of stuff.” I shudder. “Last time was longer. But last time he didn’t burn me, so I guess it’s a win-win.”

“This is crazy,” he says. “That you’ve been here for what, a week?”

“Seven months, but I’m actually trying now, so yeah, sure.” I feel him hit a tangle and wince as he yanks my hair apart.

“And you’ve been akumatized twice, you’ve gotten asked on a date- what else?”

“I’ve made an enemy in Amelie,” I suggest.

“Yes, that!” Adrien laughs. “You kind of joined a band.”

“Not really,” I say. “I just like hanging out with you guys. And Marinette’s really sweet.”

“You’re probably gonna help produce some stuff, though. Right?” Adrien loops the hair tie around the braid. “All done!”

“I might help produce stuff, yeah.” I pull the braid over my shoulder. “Nice one, Adrien.”

“Thanks,” he says, sitting back. I let the braid hang down my back and lean back myself.

“I guess I have done a lot in a week,” I say. “That’s kind of crazy.”

“Life’s just crazy when you have a supervillain on the loose. You get used to it,” Adrien says. “Oh, I think we’re here. How do you feel?”

“Hurts,” I say. “But I don’t think I’ll need your help walking again. I’ve got my emotions under control now.” The car stops, and the Gorilla opens the door for me. I go to step out, and feel another head rush coming on. I don’t think I got up too fast this time, though.

“Celeste?” Adrien says.

“I feel dizzy,” I say, my words running into each other. “And tired. Adrien, I’m so  _ tired _ .”

“I know,” he says. “Here, lean on me.” He wraps his arm around me again.

“I fell asleep after he tried last time, you know,” I say, leaning on him as we walk into the emergency room. “I think I’m going to fall asleep this time, too.”

“Just hang on for a bit longer, okay?” Adrien says as we walk up to the front desk. “You can sleep once we get you checked out.” Someone at the front desk says something quick enough that I don’t catch it. Adrien answers for me, though. “This is Celeste Vasseur. She was almost akumatized but she resisted it. It burned her, though.” He holds up my arm. “It’s on her wrist and her ear.”

The receptionist looks me over. She’s a pretty woman. She has the same hair color as my mom, a dark blonde. “Oh, dear!” she says. “You really resisted an akuma?”

“They don’t work on me,” I mumble. She nods.

“Lucky for you, Dr. Ancel can take you now.” She points to a thin, balding doctor. He waves.  
“If you’d be so kind as to follow me, Miss Vasseur,” he says, motioning.

Adrien helps me to an examination room, lifting me up to the table. I can barely keep my eyes open. He places himself directly in my sight line. “Do you want me to stay with you, or go sit in the waiting room?”

“Stay,” I whisper. “Please.” Adrien nods, squeezing my hand. I lean my head onto his shoulder, letting my eyes close while I finally give in to sleep.

I wake up in a hospital room, with something wrapped around my wrist and something covering my ear and making me feel lopsided. I blink several times, opening my mouth, trying to make it feel as though it’s not full of cotton balls. “Adrien?” I say, my voice weak. Someone stirs in the corner of the room, and I look up.

“Adrien had to leave,” my dad says. “But I hope your dear ol’ dad will do.”

“Dad!” I say, smiling. “I wanted you here.”

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t ride over with you, sweetie,” Dad says. “Did Adrien do a good job?”

“Yeah,” I say, nodding. I pause. “My head feels weird.”

“Painkillers,” my dad says, pointing to an IV that’s running into my arm. I frown, groaning slightly. 

“What’s wrong with me?” I mumble.

“Second-degree burns, actually,” Dad says. “Somewhat severe ones, too. You’re going to need skin grafts. Your earring was actually burned into your ear, so whether or not you have a left earlobe is going to be a bit touch-and-go for a little while.” This is one of the things I love about my dad- he doesn’t dance around a subject. He just gives you the cold, hard facts.

“What time is it?” I ask.

“It’s a little after two in the morning,” my dad says. “You should go back to sleep. Adrien said you fell asleep sitting up.” Dad chuckles. “It’s a good thing doctors can identify burns with sight! They’ll probably have questions for you in the morning.”

“Okay,” I say. I rub at the bandages at my wrist unconsciously.

“Do you need drugs to sleep?” Dad asks. “I can get a nurse to come in.” He blinks several times. “That button’s for calling the nurse, by the way.” He points to a button in easy reach of me.

I find the button and push it. A nurse comes in somewhat quickly. “Glad to see you awake, Miss Vasseur,” she says, a surprisingly cheerful smile on her face despite the fact that it's two in the morning. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” I say.

“Any discomfort?”

“Yeah,” I say. “It’s kind of itchy.”

“Do you want something to help you sleep, sweet thing?” the nurse asks. I nod, and she fiddles with my IV. “There you go. Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Goodnight, Dad,” I say, feeling sleepier and sleepier as the drugs enter my system. “I love you.”

He leans over me and kisses my forehead. “I love you too, sweet girl.”

I smile at him as I drift back into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, please let me know what you think in the comments!


	13. a myriad of emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has over a hundred hits! that makes me insanely happy, like wow. this is my first fic that i've ever shared, and it has been clicked on over a hundred times. wow. :)

When I wake up the next morning, my dad’s filling out paperwork in the chair in the corner. “Good morning,” I say, blinking my eyes open. I can’t tell if I feel weary from the drugs or the sleep. I don’t like it.

“How’re you feeling, sweetie?” Dad says, putting his clipboard down. He comes over and helps me move the bed so I can sit up.

“They ache a bit,” I say. “What time is it? What’re you up to?”

“It’s a little after ten and filling out your forms,” Dad says. “Adrien tried his best last night, but he doesn’t know your health insurance or anything like that. He told me he would have called me, but your phone was at home.” He reaches into his pocket. “I got it for you this morning.” He hands me the cute purple phone.

“Thanks,” I say. A thought occurs to me. “Dad, how are we going to pay for this?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dad says. “Gabriel Agreste was kind enough to offer to pay for everything. I think he’s got a sweet spot for you.” He smiles. “Do you want to call the nurse?”

“Yeah,” I say. I hit the call button and get a new nurse that I’ve never seen before. She changes the dressings on my burns and helps me wash my face and brings me a tray of weird hospital food. I take one bite of the rubbery eggs and gag, but my dad brought fruit and stuff from home that I much prefer. When the nurse comes in to collect the tray, I grab her sleeve. “How long am I in here?”

“Dr. Ancel will be in in a moment,” she says curtly, then leaves.

My dad shifts in his chair. “Once the doctor finishes checking you over, would you object to me leaving and taking a shower? I wanted to be here when you woke up, so I only grabbed food and your phone this morning.”

“Go for it,” I say. “I’m fine, Dad. I’ve got painkillers.” He laughs right at the doctor walks in.

Dr. Ancel checks me over, looking at the burns. “We’ve got a decision to make here,” he says. “Your earlobe actually seems to be holding on well, but it’s not going to look the same as it used to. Same with your wrist. It’s purely cosmetic whether or not you want to have the surgery for skin grafts.” He turns my wrist over. “Depends how much you care about the scarring.”

I look up to my dad. It’s not our money that would be spent on the grafts. “I don’t think I care that much,” I say. “I mean, I plan on wearing my watch still. So my wrist will be covered by that, and my ear will be covered by my hair.”

“You sure, sweetie?” Dad asks, coming over and stroking my head. “Because we could look into it.”

“Think it over,” Dr. Ancel says. “The surgery would be scheduled a couple of weeks in advance anyway. Why don’t you think about it for a week, see how it goes?”

“That sounds great,” my dad says. “How long do you want to keep Celeste here?”

“We’ll check up on her again later today, but I don’t see any reason why she can’t be sleeping in her own bed tonight,” Dr. Ancel says, smiling warmly at me. “We have a couple questions for just Celeste, actually, if you don’t mind sir.”

“I don’t mind at all,” my dad says. “Celeste, I’m going to head home and take a shower, okay?”

“See you later, Dad,” I say, and I wave. The IV in my arm wiggles and I frown at it as my dad grabs his things and leaves.

“Alright, then,” Dr. Ancel. “So I heard that you resisted an akuma.”

“That’s right,” I say. “It came into my watch and earring, which made them heat up.”

“The thing is,” he says, sitting down on the edge of my bed and making me instantly uneasy, “no one has ever fully resisted an akuma. It’s impossible.”

“I know,” I say. “Trust me, I’d rather get akumatized and taken care of by Chat Noir and Ladybug than go through that again. It was unpleasant, to say the least.” I hold up my wrist as proof.

“Celeste, how did you really get those burns?” Dr. Ancel asks.

My mouth opens. “I- I told you the truth.”

“If you’re unsafe at home, you can trust us, and we’ll get you help.” He’s trying to look sympathetic, but he actually looks like he’s tired of me lying, which makes no sense because I’m not lying.

“I’ll take a damn lie detector test if I need to,” I say. “It was one of those evil purple butterflies.”

Dr. Ancel shoots me a look over the tops of his glasses like he’s asking  _ Really? _ I glare at him in response. “Very well, then,” he says. “Someone will check up on you this afternoon.” He shows me which button calls the nurse, even though I already know. Then he leaves and I violently elbow my pillow, since I don’t want to move the IV arm because it’s gross and I can’t punch anything with my bandaged wrist. The bandages are stiff, I guess so I can’t move my wrist, but it’s annoying because it’s on my hand too, and I can’t really move it.

I pick up my phone with the IV arm anyway, trying to ignore the fact that there’s a tube in my arm. I read the Ladyblog, mostly seeing how previous villains were defeated so I can learn about them. Then I remember someone.

“Eikka?” I hiss. “Eikka!”

“I’m here, I’m here,” Eikka says, scooting out from under my pillow. “I was taking a nap, but fine.” She flutters in the air. “Can I close your door?”

“Go for it,” I say. She flies into the door mechanism and I watch as it clicks shut. “Were you here all night?”

“Yes,” she says, huffing. “And you were either asleep or talking to someone, so I couldn’t talk to you.” She sits on my legs. “I cannot believe this.”

“What?”

“Hospitals.” She shudders. “Nasty places.”

“They help sick people get better, Eikka.” I reach out and stroke her cheek with my finger. “What’s so bad about them?”

“A so-called ‘doctor’ tried to dissect me once!” she says with a wail. “Hospitals are  _ full  _ of doctors!” She hides her head in her wings.

“That’s the point,” I say, laughing. “Eikka, what did you get up to before you were banned from the miracle box?”

She waves me off with a wing. “That’s not the issue at hand. I made some. . . questionable decisions is all.” She flies onto my IV line. “So, you know what you should do?”

“What?” I say, smiling.

“Call that boy Luka.” She flutters her eyelashes. “Let me go back to my nap. Or find some sardines.”

“Eikka!” I laugh. But then I realize this is probably the best time since my dad is gone and all, so I pick up my phone and she goes back to hiding in my pillow. I pull up his contact and giddily hit the icon to call him.

The phone rings, and I wonder if ten’s too early to call someone. I hope I don’t wake him up or anything. Maybe he’ll see me and ignore me. I’m panicking internally when I hear a click and Luka’s voice. “Hello?”

“Luka! Hi,” I say, smiling as I sink into my pillows.

“Celeste,” he says. “How are you?”

I look around my hospital room. “I’ve been better,” I admit. “What about you?”

“I’m fine,” he says. “Great, now. I’m glad you called.” I can hear the warmth in his voice.

“I had a spare moment, so I figured why not?” I say, trying not to sound as awkward as I feel.

“Well, I’m glad,” Luka says. Then I can hear him trying to form words on the other side of the phone, but nothing comes out at the moment. I’m about to ask him about it when he says in a strangled voice, “What do you mean you’ve been better? Celeste, did something happen at home? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” I say quickly. “Another akuma came, and I’m in the hospital, but-”

“You’re in the hospital?” Luka’s voice conveys a sense of alarm. “What for?”

“I had some burns, but I’m fine,” I say, stressing  _ fine _ . “The akuma kind of burned me a little.”

“When- when did this happen?” Luka’s voice is getting breathier like he’s climbing stairs or something.

“Last night,” I say. “During dinner.”

“During- what happened during dinner to give you a negative enough emotion for an akuma?” When I don’t say anything, he says in a soft voice, “I’m sorry. I’m just- I’m just worried about you, Celeste.”

“I’m fine,” I say for the umpteenth time. “And my dad’s, um, my dad’s employer kind of hates me. It was sort of an accumulation of things, and then she locked me out of dinner and pushed me-”

“She pushed you?” Luka’s voice rises. “That’s not okay!”

“She hates me for some reason, but it’s fine. My dad can’t lose his job, Luka.” My voice gets stern, unmovable. “Besides, Adrien’s super nice and his dad doesn’t seem to hate me, and I avoid her anyway.”

“Does your dad know?” Luka asks. There’s weird background noise on his end now.

“No, I haven’t gotten a chance to tell him yet,” I say. “He’s really busy.”

“Huh,” Luka says. “You ought to do that.” Someone’s voice filters through his end. “One sec.” I hear him talking quickly to someone else. “Okay, I’m back.”

“What’s going on over there?” I ask. “Sounds like you’re somewhere with a lot of people.”

“Gimme a second there,” he says. There’s a ding. “You’re really fine?”

I laugh. “I’m  _ fine _ , Luka. Lots of painkillers, I think. I feel kind of woozy still.” There’s another ding on his end. “What is that?”

“Oh, you know,” Luka says. Just then, my door opens, and he’s standing there, his phone to his ear. “Hi.”

I hang up, painfully aware of how my hair’s still in the braid from last night and I’m sure it’s falling out and I’m not wearing any makeup, not that I wear a lot of makeup, but there’s something about looking in the mirror and consciously deciding not to wear makeup that’s much better than being randomly surprised. Hell, there’s a bandage around my head still. I forgot about that. “Hi.”

“Celeste, you didn’t mention your head was burned!” Luka says. His mouth falls open and his eyes fill with concern. “That’s awful!”

I wave him off with my bandaged hand. “It got my watch and my earring. It’s just my earlobe that’s burned, not my head itself.”

Luka steps up close to my bedside. “Celeste, I’m so sorry,” he says softly. He reaches out and takes my unbandaged hand, squeezing it in his.

“Do you want to talk about that date?” I ask, chuckling. “Since you’re here and all. How’d you even get here so fast?”

“I was actually on my way to get some new guitar picks,” he says. “I was in the area. Then you said you were in the hospital and I just turned and jogged the whole way here.”

“You didn’t have to do that!” I say, subconsciously leaning my head towards him. “I was just glad I got to talk to you.”

“I like talking to you too,” he says, smiling. “That’s why I asked you on a date, after all.” He pats the edge of my bed. “Do you mind?”

“Please,” I say, moving my legs over under the sheets to give him room. He sits on the edge of the bed, my hand now being held in his with the added bonus on being on his lap. “Why did you need guitar picks? Do they break?”

He laughs. “No, but one of the consequences of living on a boat is a fair amount of swaying and shaking and some downright turbulent nights. They all go missing after a while.” His thumb rubs back and forth on the back of my hand. “How bad are the burns?” His voice is quiet.

“Second degree,” I say. “Severe second degree.” Luka looks down at our joined hands, his black-and-teal hair flopping down into his face. He slowly shakes his head, his face blocked from my view.

“What- what does that mean?” he says quietly.

“It means they went through the top layer of skin and into the second layer, and they hurt without painkillers, and I might get skin grafts but I don’t know yet.” I blink, wishing for him to look up. I don’t know what’s going through his head, and I realize I don’t know him very well at all. “What are you feeling right now?” I ask, watching him stroke my hand with his thumb.

“I don’t know,” he says. He still won’t look up.

“You’ve got your guitar,” I say carefully, and indeed it’s strapped to his back and it makes me wonder if he ever leaves without it. From what I know about him, I doubt it. “Can you play it?”

Luka finally tilts his head up so our eyes can meet; it’s the cautious meeting of two people who don’t know each other yet but want to become close one day. Our eyes stay connected as he lifts my hand up to his lips, and they stay connected as he pulls the guitar down from his back. I’m the one who breaks away first to watch his dark-painted nails dance across the guitar strings as he plays a song that’s beautiful and sad and heart-wrenching all at once. I see his concern, his longing, and how I think I mean something great to him.

When he finishes the song, neither of us says anything for a moment, and then he leans across the bed and my body tenses, because I don’t know what’s happening or what he’s doing and I’ve seen enough pain in the past week to have a knee-jerk reaction. But instead of harming me, because Luka could and would never hurt me, he brushes a kiss across my forehead soft as spun sugar and my lips part in surprise, and he pulls back, his eyes meeting mine, the brilliant blue saying  _ hello, there _ , and we’re suspended in time staring into each other’s eyes for an eternity, before he sits all the way back and cradles my hand in his lap. His hands form a cocoon around my hand like my hand is a fragile butterfly and he is all that is protecting me from the world; his thumbs resumes the stroking of my skin.

“So,” he says with a smile emerging on the corners of his lips, his voice hoarse with that first word, “about that date. . .”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me what you think! let me know what i can do better!


	14. people are hard to understand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys like this chapter- a fair amount of googling went into this one! :)

Luka tells me that one week from today he will pick me up in front of the Agreste mansion and we’ll go to a park and maybe get some ice cream, if that’s okay. I always liked ice cream, so I tell him yes and he gives me a smile before he leaves.

Dr. Ancel asks me again how I got my injuries. I tell him the same thing and we have the same standoff before he gives up. He says there’s no reason I can’t go home this afternoon and gives me a sheet to give to my dad that talks about cleaning the burns and properly bandaging them and all that jazz. He takes out the damn IV, and now I can move my arm without feeling the damn tube. He removes the head-wrapping ear bandage and gives me a thick one that only covers the ear and says I can check out as soon as my dad arrives. But my dad’s not the person who comes to pick me up. It’s Gabriel and Adrien Agreste.

“What- what are you doing here?” I say, sitting up in bed at the two of them enter my room. “Where’s my dad?”

“He’s working,” Gabriel says smoothly. “We’re here to take you home.” He turns away. “Adrien, give her the clothes while I see about checking her out.” He vanishes from the room, leaving Adrien and me alone.

“Thanks for bringing me here,” I say softly, taking the bag of clothes from him. “Last night, I mean.”

“Anytime,” Adrien says. “Your dad put the clothes in, by the way.” I look in, and it’s my favorite pair of sweatpants- lavender, of course- and a grey t-shirt.

“Thanks,” I say, and I climb out of bed and duck into the bathroom to change. I see myself in the mirror and wince, noticing the greyish tinge my coloring and how strands of my hair hang limply around my face. I change quickly, pulling off the flimsy hospital gown, and pull my hair out of the braid, finger-combing frantically.

I come back into the room to see Gabriel with a manilla folder and Adrien at his father’s side. “Coming,” I say. “Sorry.” I put my phone into the clothes bag, along with my clothes from last night.

“Don’t worry about it,” Adrien says.

“Let’s go,” Gabriel says. He leads me through the hospital to the Agreste car, where the Gorilla is holding the door open. I climb in the back with Adrien. Gabriel walks around to the front, and we drive off, heading home.

“Miss Vasseur,” Gabriel says, flipping through his folder. “Would you be willing to perform some tests with me when we return?”

I look up, thinking it over. “Can I take a shower first?” I usually shower at night. I feel kind of gross right now.

“You might want to shower afterward,” Gabriel says. “I plan on taking some simple medical assessments, and they won’t take long.” His eyes fix mine in the rearview mirror, and they have this strange steel behind them. I’m scared to say no.

“Alright,” I say, swallowing hard. Adrien looks over at me and raises one eyebrow. I shake my head ever so slightly and turn to stare out the window for the rest of the drive. Paris really is a beautiful city.

When we return home my father is standing at the door. He gives me a wink, then returns to watching Felix, who’s sitting on the ground just in front of the steps leading up to the front door, engrossed in a pile of papers. It’s a peculiar thing for the boy in the vest and tie, to be sprawled on the sidewalk with a disorderly paper heap. I want to ask him about it, but Gabriel fixes me with a glare, so I have to scuttle along behind him. I barely get to drop my bag by the door before he drags me into his office.

It’s spacious, almost empty, but there’s a raised bit at the back with a standing desk and a geometric portrait of someone who’s not quite Amelie. I stare at it until I notice Gabriel studying me. “Sorry,” I say.

“That’s my late wife,” he says. “Emilie. Adrien’s mother.”

“Sorry,” I say again. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

He turns away. “Sit.” He gestures to a lone chair, about the saddest chair you ever saw. It’s a dull gray, completely metal, and a chair in the most basic sense of the thing. It has four legs and a flat seat and a curved bar that is the back of the chair. I sit down on this sad, pathetic chair and wince at how cold it is.

Gabriel is still flipping through that manilla folder. “What’s that?” I ask.

“Your medical records,” he says, not looking up.

I frown. “You shouldn’t have those- how’d you even get them?” I feel slightly violated.

“I went up to the front desk and told them I’m Gabriel Agreste and that you’re living with me.” He closes the folder, setting it on his desk. “Besides, it makes this a lot simpler.”

“The tests?”

“I can see your most basic chemical information,” he says. “You broke a bone when you were seven in your right arm. You had appendicitis at fourteen. Your blood type is AB. You’ve never grown the way you should, but it really started slowing after your mother was diagnosed.” He says this all in a flat voice. “It saves me the trouble of asking you myself.”

I nod, unsure how to reply. “Okay.”

“Did you know that there is nothing extremely unordinary about you?” He reopens the folder. “They printed the results for me of every checkup, every single emergency room visit, every x-ray and blood test. If you had any issues, they were minor and corrected by your next test. How is that possible?” He paces the room. “How can a completely normal, ordinary person repel m- an akuma?”

“It’s not repelling,” I say hesitantly. “It’s resisting. Repelling would mean they would stay away.” Gabriel turns and fixes me with a glare just then, and I sit back.

“You’re completely unspecial,” he says. “Yet you can do something no one else can.” I sit silently, stiffly in the sad chair. He steps down from his raised office area coming towards me. “Or, at the very least, the things they test for are normal.” He pauses. “Your mother was a researcher, was she not?”

I nod. “She was.”

“What exactly did she research?”

“All sorts of things,” I say, biting my cheek. “She used to study swans.” I smile, thinking back to the day she found an unusual chemical compound in a swan’s brain. She came home that day and grabbed me, swinging me in the air. _Do you want to fly, Celeste?_ _Do you want to fly like these majestic birds?_ She threw me in the air, and for a second I was flying, completely free before she caught me again and told me everything about the compound, even though I was five and couldn’t understand a word, but I listened to all of it because the passion in her voice made me want to listen to everything she said.

“That’s not applicable,” Gabriel snaps. “What else did she study?”

“She became a chemical researcher,” I say quickly. “She’d go on trips all over. Ireland, Slovakia, even here in Paris a couple of times.”

“She was born here, was she not?” Gabriel asks, but in a way that he already knows the answer.

“She was,” I say. “I think she left once she graduated from college. That’s when she met my dad.”

“When was the last time she went to Paris?” Gabriel asks, a steely glint in his eye.

“I- I think it was a little while before she had me,” I say. “I remember her telling me that the trip was hell because she was pregnant.” I frown. “Why aren’t you asking my dad these questions?”

“Because I need your blood,” Gabriel says curtly. He’s rummaging around his desk. “For the first few tests. You can go as soon as I have what I need.”

“With all due respect, sir,” I say, “there is no way I’m letting you take my blood unless you drag in a qualified medical professional.” I have no intention of getting syphilis or whatever blood-related disease Gabriel poking me with a stick will give me. I’m not an idiot.

“Nathalie!” Gabriel calls. “I won’t be taking your blood, Miss Vasseur.”

Nathalie comes in quietly. “Yes, Mr. Agreste.”

“Take six milliliters of Miss Vasseur’s blood, please.” Gabriel hands her some gloves, a tube, and the most awful-looking needle I’ve ever seen. I turn my head instantly, listening to him rattle around.

“Where did you get your doctorate?” I ask Nathalie.

“I don’t have one, unfortunately. However, I know how to take blood.” Nathalie grabs my arm, the one where the IV was stuck in, and I jerk, trying to yank it out of her grasp.

“No!” I snap. “No, no, no!” I pull on my arm, but she has a strong grip. “There’s no way I’m letting you stick a needle in me!”

“It will be a lot easier if you cooperate,” Nathalie says flatly. “Only one needle poke.” I feel her tie something around my thrashing arm. I kick with my feet, sending the chair clanging onto the floor and I roll over, ripping out of her grasp and getting to my feet.

“You asked me if I wanted to take these tests. I take back my agreement,” I snarl at Gabriel. “No one is poking me with a needle. No fucking way.”

“You’re going to want to cooperate, Celeste,” Gabriel hisses.

“Why don’t you go back to the hospital and throw your name around?” I shout. “I bet you could get my blood that way. Or a doctor to take it. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable here.”

“There’s something about you that lets you resist,” Gabriel growls at me. “I intend on discovering it. I’m sorry if you disagree with the method, but it’s for the greater good!”

“Just get a goddamn doctor, then!” I shriek. “Some of us don’t like needles to begin with, and I barely know you! Why the hell would I let you stick a fucking needle in my arm, then?”

“Watch your language,” Nathalie says, her face as expressionless as ever, but her voice containing fury.

“I don’t care,” I say, aiming it right at her. “I don’t care about my fucking language. Seriously, is that the only thing you got from that?”

Suddenly Gabriel strides across the room towards me, and I back up because he’s really tall and scary and oh my god the look he’s giving me could kill someone. He pins me against a wall, just by standing there and glaring. “You’re going to want to cooperate here,” he says with gritted teeth “else your father loses his job.”

My breathing turns shallow. “You can’t do that.”

“I will tell Amelie I caught him stealing,” Gabriel says. “Moreover, the entirety of Paris will shun him. He will be blacklisted in this city, the country if I have my way about it, which I usually do.”

“You- you can’t,” I say. “That’s blackmail.” I can’t imagine that. With no job, we’d have to leave. If we left Paris, we’d leave my mother.

“Who will people believe?” Gabriel says. “A twelve-year-old girl or the acclaimed fashion designer?”

“I’m turning seventeen this year,” I say, insulted.

“That’s not the point,” Gabriel says. “Now, are we going to do this the easy way? Or the hard way?” Nathalie picks up the upturned chair from the floor, her eyes boring holes into mine. Gabriel’s voice drops. “Do you want to stay in the same city as your mother or not, Celeste?”

I sit in the chair. It’s even sadder than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, tell me what you think! :) ( i almost titled this chapter 'a sad chair' but decided against me. i like the chapter titles to have multiple meanings, so it didn't make the cut. alas!)


	15. this is kind of hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need to stop writing these when i'm up really late. . . i almost typed 'marinette' instead of 'ladybug' multiple times. that would have been BAD lol.

I spend Sunday resting and editing music and talking to Eikka and taking a walk to buy up sardines for Eikka, which I’ve been keeping in a minifridge in my room. Mr. Pigeon gets akumatized in the evening, but Ladybug and Chat are so used to dealing with him they take care of him quickly. One of his pigeons shits on me, though. I want to gag.

When I finally make it home, I take a moment in the mirror, turning and examining the suit. I’m not sure who would notice it, but it’s slightly thicker at my left wrist so as to protect my burn more. When I pull the strands of escaped hair back, it reveals a strange skin over the burned portion of my ear, as well. I realize that these identifiers could make it easier for me to be recognized. So I text my dad to ask about the skin grafts.

“Close wings,” I say, and Eikka swirls out of my necklace. “Eat up, girl.” I toss her a tin of sardines, and she happily eats it up, leaving the stinky metal tin for me to dispose of. Pinching it between two fingers, I drop it in the trash can and wash up for dinner.

Dinner has become the worst experience of my life. It’s completely silent, and no one looks up from their food. Mom would have everyone laughing in seconds if she were here, but without her, it’s just me trying to eat what I can and then leaving as fast as possible. Amelie doesn’t bait me anymore, though. Seeing my flesh boiled off must have had an effect on her. How sweet.

Amelie’s new solution is pretending I don’t exist. If she talks, she talks to Felix, Gabriel, Adrien, and Nathalie, in that order of preference. She does not turn her head towards me. In fact, no one does, because it could make her snap. No one dares talk to me. Only Gabriel and Adrien even look at me, and even that’s for completely different reasons. Adrien looks up occasionally, as though he’s checking to see if I’m okay. Gabriel rarely takes his eyes off me, and his gaze studies me like a scientist staring through a microscope. I don’t think he sees me as a person but rather something in a Petri dish.

The same routine is going on Monday night when Amelie turns to Felix and asks him about an art project we were assigned today. “Who are you working with?” she asks. “Not her, I suppose.” I know that by ‘her’ she means me and have to restrain myself from pouring my soup on her perfectly curled blonde hair.

“No, the partners were assigned randomly. I’m with some weird Goth girl.” He rolls his eyes. “Julia or something.”

“Juleka,” I mutter.

“Did you say something?” Amelie asks.

“Her name is Juleka,” I inform Felix, pretending Amelie isn’t glaring daggers at me.

“I knew it was something like that,” Felix says, sneering at me. “Julia is close enough.”

“Who do you have, Adrien?” Nathalie asks, clearly trying to avoid the grenade on the other side of the table from exploding.

“My partner is Ivan,” he says. “We’re meeting tomorrow after school to work on it, if that’s okay.”

“Meet here,” Gabriel says without looking up. “Not anywhere else.”

“Yes, Father,” Adrien says. “Celeste, who do you have?”

At first, I’m just staring, dumbfounded, at him for actually talking to me. Then I find my voice. “Marinette, actually. We’re going to do something baking-related.”

“For an art project?” Amelie says scathingly.

“For an art project,” I say, glaring at her. I return to my soup. Soup’s nice- I like the broth. I also like beans. I think I might actually eat a decent amount tonight.

“Excuse me,” Gabriel says, getting up and leaving the table. I watch him leave, then let myself relax a bit, enjoying eating. This never happens. I smile, thinking how proud my dad would be.

Adrien’s phone dings. “Akuma alert,” he says. “Someone near the Louvre.”

Inside, I’m kicking and screaming, just wanting to sit here and eat dinner but no, there’s a fucking villain in Paris again and apparently, I signed up for this. I stand up. “I’m going- I’m going to my room.” I walk quickly out of the room and flee to my bedroom.

I shut the door, locking it. I hope no one comes looking for me. I’m not sure how I’d explain my absence from a room locked from the inside with the only exit being a window about thirty feet off the ground.

“Eikka, open wings!” I say, and she whips out of her hiding spot- she has many- and dissolves into my necklace. The transformation is quick, and then I’m diving out the window and soaring through the air.

I make a mental note to teach myself a map of Paris because I genuinely do not know where the Louvre is. Eiffel Tower? Yeah, no problem, you can see it over the buildings. The Louvre? Not so much.

Luckily, the giant robot makes this a lot easier. It’s got some sort of bright laser beam shooting out of its mouth that randomly flashes, and I use it at my beacon to guide me.

“Eala!” Ladybug calls. She’s running on the rooftops next to me. I cruise down and join her, running by her side.

“Hey, Lady,” I say, jumping a chimney. “What’s up?”

“I don’t like the look of this guy,” she says. “Bad feeling.”

“We’ll get him,” I say. “We always do.”

“Will you go scope it out?” she asks. 

I give her a mock salute with two fingers. “On it, Lady.” I spread my wings out again and fly.

Flying. . . it’s weird, really. Moving my wings is like moving a finger. It doesn’t take any specific thought or action on my part; I merely decide to move it and it moves. It’s instinctual, it’s simple, and frankly, it’s beautiful.

I fly over the robot, who’s too busy sending his light beams at people. Whenever it hits someone, they stiffen and go still, their eyes closing. The robot stomps his feet. He’s tall, silver, and utterly featureless, short for two rectangles in its face that emit white light and a giant white circle below them. Eyes and a mouth. The mouth is what’s sending out light beams.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir, where are you?” it howls in a metallic voice. “The Controller wants your miraculouses!” It turns its head as it yells, and it sees me. The white lights in its eyes narrow and turn bright red, and it fires rapidly at me. Spinning, I wheel out of its way, but not before a light clips me and I fly backward through the air, slamming into a billboard.

The robot turns towards me, its eyes white again. The mouth begins to glow and I jump, plummeting towards the ground as the mind-controlling light hits the spot where I used to be. The civilians all see me fall, and they turn, opening their eyes, which are a bright white.

One problem with my plan- one of my wings came out with the impact of being slammed into a billboard. I watch the pavement approach me and think  _ well, that’s a stupid way to go.  _ I close my eyes.

“I got you, swan-girl,” Chat says, and he catches me easily from my fall. “You gotta get better at keeping track of those wings.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” I say, hopping out of his arms. “Thanks.” I walk over and grab the staff from where it lies on the ground, sticking it back on my back. “Need a lift?”

“Sure,” Chat says. “Just don’t drop me.”

“I make no promises,” I say, grabbing him from behind and taking off, swooping over to Ladybug where she ducks behind a chimney.

“What’s the situation?” she asks.

“He appears to have mind control over the people he blasts with that light beam,” I say. “He also has a red light beam. That one kind of hurts.”

“Alright, so I’m going to go off of our previous giant robot experience and say we have to get inside the thing,” Ladybug says. “That means the eyes, most likely.”

“I’ll get you in,” Chat says, curling his claws into a fist.

“I’ll go in and get the akuma,” Ladybug says.

“I’ll distract him, then,” I say. “More angry beams. Yay.”

This turns to be a giant issue from the get-go. I take off and immediately get punched in the chest again, which knocks me off balance. Ladybug and Chat take off on foot on the ground, and the army of white-eyed civilians goes at them until Chat just goes straight up on his staff with Ladybug holding on tight, escaping their grabbing hands.

I fly at them and go with the finely-tuned strategy of chucking them at the robot. Grabbing one in each hand, I beat my wings furiously, getting higher and higher. Then the damn robot sees me again and yells, “Get back, you flying rat! I have control!”

“I’m a swan!” I yell at it, and then I let go of Chat and Ladybug. Both of them start screaming. “Feather dance!” I cry, and then I blow them at the robot, so he narrowly misses me with his red beams. The two of them are carried with the wind until they smack into the robot’s face. He whirs, turning, and shoots off a barrage of red beams, one of which slams me in the head, so next thing I know I’m falling towards the ground. It hurts like a bitch, to smack into the pavement. Not only that, but one of my staffs goes clattering somewhere, and every single person on the street decides to come at me. I grab my other wing, yanking it off my back and letting it change into staff mode while I book it down the street.

There’s something about a mob of people chasing you that scares the crap out of you. Maybe it’s the fact that their eyes are glowing, but it’s just really fucking scary. And I know any bruises I give them will be gone with the Miraculous Ladybug, but I’m still not huge on knocking them all over with my staff. That just doesn’t sound right, to hit an old lady in the face with a stick. Even though she’s trying to tackle me. I climb on top of a car and start searching for my other staff, pushing people off with the one I haven’t lost.

“Cataclysm!” Chat yells, and he caves in one of the robot’s eyes. The robot starts shaking wildly, and Ladybug manages to slip inside while he’s thrown off. The robot twists suddenly, violently, and it hits Chat with a white beam. He shudders, going still.

The robot gets a strange purple light around his eyes. “I need him to keep her busy!” it says. “Then he’s all yours, Hawkmoth.” The light fades, and I realize the light was shaped vaguely like a moth. 

Suddenly the whole angry mob surrounding me stops moving. They go completely still as Chat Noir turns and growls at me.

“Oh, hell no,” I say. “Fuck, where the fuck is my other staff?” I leap off the car and sprint towards where I crash-landed now that there isn’t an angry mob to chase me. However, Chat Noir is not missing half of his arsenal. He has his staff, which grows and punches me in the chest, slamming me into a building. I’m really sick of being punched in the chest today. I don’t think my ribs can take much more.

Chat launches himself towards me, his eyes glowing a brilliant white, but his face expressionless. I get to my feet and dodge just in time. “Ladybug!” I scream. “Hurry up in there, would you?” The robot himself aims another red beam at me, and I roll out of its way. I spy my staff under a parked car about twenty feet away, and I start running, but Chat tackles me and I gasp as I go down.

His staff grows, pinning me. It’s like a weight across my body. I weakly attempt to fend him off, finding it difficult with one tiny stick. I swing it toward his hands, and he grabs it and throws it away. “Cataclysm,” he says, but his fist doesn’t get the dark sparkles I associate with destruction. Thank god he destroyed the robot’s eye, so I can be spared.

He does have something left, though, because when he presses his hand to my head I feel like everything’s constricting. I cough, unable to breathe with the pressure on my chest, and that’s when he goes still and I hear Ladybug cry, “No more evildoing for you, little akuma!” He’s just sitting on me, and I’m waiting and waiting until I finally hear her say “Miraculous Ladybug!” and he comes to his senses.

“Eala,” he says. “Oh. Sorry.” He hops off quickly and I climb slowly to my feet, massaging my windpipe.

“You’re right,” I say. “I really have to keep a better eye on my wings.” I cross to the parked car and pull the staff out from underneath it. I then grab my other staff from where he tossed it into a bush.

“Pound it!” Ladybug says when I return. I give her and Chat a fist bump.

“I am really bad at this,” I say sheepishly. “I don’t know how to fight. Is that an issue?”

“You’ll get better,” Ladybug says. “Until then, I think you ought to go home. You’re about to transform back!” She points to my necklace, which has only two beeping lights left.

I nod, re-attaching my wings. “See you guys!” I wave to them as I kick away from the ground.

She and Chat wave me off as I climb into the clouds, swooping into my bedroom right as I transform back. I collapse onto my bed, hand on my chest, breathing heavily. There’s a rattle in my breath, a slight noise that tells me I’m not imagining the fact that something’s a little messed up.

“Here, Eikka,” I say, passing her a sardine tin. “Sorry.”

“I have needs, you know,” she says, her own breath slightly stilted. “You have one job.”

“I have multiple jobs and you know it,” I groan.

“Just get back here before you transform back. Feed me. Easy peasy.” She sniffs, then swallows a sardine whole.

“Eikka, why am I terrible? Why don’t my wings stay on?” I turn to her, cradling my head in the crook of my folded arm.

“Your wings don’t stay on because you land the wrong way,” she says, rolling her eyes. “And you’ll get better if you're patient, for crying out loud. It’s only been a week since we’ve met.”

“Long week,” I say. “A lot’s happened in a week.”

“Girl, you ain’t seen  _ nothing _ ,” Eikka says. “You know what was crazy? When the dinosaurs went extinct. That was a crazy week.” She flutters her eyelashes at me.

“You’re kidding,” I say, smiling. “Tell me about it.”

“I’ll tell you when you’re cleaned up. You’re all sweaty,” Eikka says. She wrinkles her face. “Gross.”

So I shower and get ready for bed and once I climb in, I turn to her again. “So tell me about your crazy week, Eikka.”

“Alright,” she says. “So I’m flying along, minding my own business. . .” And with the comfort of her voice and a soft bed, I fall asleep quickly. The rattle in my lungs is gone when I wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love and appreciate all of your comments! let me know what you think!


	16. art isn't always what you think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all, if i slipped up and someone said "y'all" in this chapter, i'm sorry. writing this gets rid of my sleep schedule entirely, but i love it! even though i'm tired. but whatever, i love celeste and marinette! :)

The next day is quiet and free of akumatized villains, which is nice because after school I’m walking to Marinette’s house with her to work on our art project. She’s wearing a gorgeous pink and black striped shirt today, and I comment on it. “Thanks!” she says, laughing. “I designed it myself.”

“You made a functioning shirt,” I say, laughing. “That is so cool.”

“I’d sew something for this project if it weren’t a partner thing,” Marinette admits. “No offense, I mean.”

I wave her off as we cross the street. “None taken. I have no skill designing or sewing clothes.” I think for a moment. “Or baking, now that I think about it.”

“But I saw the drawing you did for the book report,” Marinette says. “You’re good at drawing. I figure I’ll make something and you make it art.”

“No pressure or anything,” I joke. We arrive at the Dupain-Cheng bakery, and Marinette opens the door. A bell jingles.

“Hi Mom! Hi Dad!” Marinette says. Her parents are both in the back of the bakery. Her dad, a man as big as my own dad with the same cinnamon-roll face waves at us, while her mom, a tiny woman, comes over to us with a cake.

“You must be Celeste,” she says. “I’m Sabine, and this is Tom. Let us know if you need us, okay?” She smiles warmly at me, and I can’t help but smile back at her. She quickly slides the cake into a display case. It’s gorgeous, a pale violet with swirls of indigo on the icing.

“Marinette!” Tom calls. “Can you taste this for me? I can’t decide if the grapefruit macaroons work or not.”

“Sure!” Marinette chirps. “You want one, Celeste?”

“Okay,” I say. “I don’t know if I’ve had a macaroon before.” Marinette and her parents gasp at this.

“The Dupain-Cheng  Boulangerie Patisserie has the best macaroons in Paris!” Tom says in a booming voice. “Marinette, you ought to send her back home with a box.”

I shake my head. “That’s too much.”

“Nonsense,” Sabine says. She comes around behind me and squeezes my arms. “Anything for one of Marinette’s friends.”

Marinette hands me a macaroon that’s a pale orange color with pale pink filling. “Cheers,” she says, tapping hers against mine, and then we both take a bite of the pretty treat.

It’s delicious. The tartness of the grapefruit flavor against the sweetness of the macaroon itself is a perfect balance. “Wow,” I say. Marinette giggles. “That’s amazing.”

“Grapefruit works?” Tom asks.

“Grapefruit works, Dad,” Marinette says. “Celeste certainly thinks so.” I’m chewing on the rest of my macaroon, so I give him an enthusiastic thumbs-up. “We ought to start working, Celeste.”

“Thank you,” I say to her parents, giving them a wave before I follow Marinette through the back of the bakery and up the stairs. Her room is in a little alcove, and it’s covered in pink and fashion and it’s trendy and chic and everything I expected Marinette’s bedroom to be.

“I think it’s too cold to work outside today,” Marinette says. “Otherwise we’d be on the roof.” She plops down on her bed and nods to a chair, where I sit down and start digging through my backpack, gently nudging Eikka to the side.

I nod. “Okay, so the assignment,” I say, pulling the instructions out of my bag, “is to make a piece of art that incorporates something that to us, represents Paris.” I lean back in the chair. “So. What represents Paris?” I pull out my sketchbook and turn to a clean page.

“The Eiffel Tower,” Marinette says, ticking it off on her fingers. “The Louvre. Notre Dame.”

“Fashion,” I say, nodding to her. “Baguettes.”

“Celeste!”

“Just kidding,” I say, but she’s giggling.

“Alright,” she says, the last laugh dying in her throat. “What else?”

“Ladybug and Chat Noir,” I point out, twirling my pencil. “They’re iconic to this city.”

“Are they iconic to us?” Marinette says.

“They’re iconic to me,” I say. “I mean, Hawkmoth’s an evil son-of-a-bitch. Anyone who fights him is important.”

“Then don’t forget Eala,” Marinette says. “I think she’s pretty cool.”

I look up at her. “Really?” I catch myself sounding like someone desperate for appreciation, and follow it up with “Even though she’s newer? No one really knows her?”

“Yeah, but did you hear about last night? The robot?” Marinette cocks her head.

“I read the Ladyblog,” I answer.

“She may be new, but I think she’s making Ladybug’s life a lot easier. Usually Chat Noir goes after her, but Eala kept him busy.” Marinette leans back. “I think she’s going to get them closer to taking down Hawkmoth.” She grins. “Besides, I’m jealous of her wings.”

“They’re so cool,” I agree, smiling. “We should do our project on the three of them!”

“Alright,” Marinette says, eagerly jumping to her feet. “How do we make them baked and art?”

An idea flashes into my head. “Cupcakes. Put them up together and do the icing on them like the cake is the canvas.” I start sketching out a plan- Ladybug standing proudly in front, Chat Noir by her side, with Eala coming up and over the other side.

“Okay,” Marinette says. “What flavor cupcakes? I’m thinking vanilla, keep it simple.” She starts pacing the room. “Go with a simple color scheme- red, black, and white, I think?”

“Yeah,” I say. “It’ll really pop.”

“Alright, so I’ll bake and pipe the icing,” Marinette says. “You draw the design.”

“I’m on it,” I say. “Let me know if I can help you at all.”

“Will do!” she says. We go back down to the bakery, where Marinette’s parents help her make the cupcakes while I sit on a stool in the corner sketching. The skin tones, I decide, will be bare cupcake. Eala will have the white icing as her suit with black highlights and detailing. Ladybug’s suit is red and black, with white highlights and details. And Chat’s suit is black with lots of white highlights. Ladybug’s hair will be black, and Chat’s hair and my hair will both be red. Even though we’re both blondes, it’ll work better with the color scheme. I shade the right places in with a colored pencil, then hand it off to Marinette right as she puts the cupcakes in the oven.

“Feel like mixing icing?” Marinette asks, holding out a red tube.

“I’m up for anything,” I say, taking the food dye from her. She’s whipped up a bowl of plain icing. Together, we separate it into three bowls, leaving the white icing the same color. Marinette’s working on making a black while I get the easy red color.

“You guys got it down here?” Tom says.

“We’ve got it Dad,” Marinette says. “Go take a break.” She gives him a kiss on the cheek, and her parents leave us alone to mix.

“So how long have you had a crush on Adrien?” I ask, watching the red swirl.

“Oh- five years? I think,” she says, blushing.

“Five- Marinette!” I squeal. “Are you that scared to tell him how you feel?”

She blushes deeper. “I’m scared, but every time I actually try to do it, something goes wrong. The universe just doesn’t like us together.” She stares into space, remembering something.

“You’ve got to tell him, Marinette,” I say.

“Like I’ve never heard that before,” she sighs. “I just- I can’t even talk the right way around him.”

“A note?” I suggest, but she shakes her head.

“Tried it. Several times. It got all mixed up with other notes one time, I forgot to sign it once, and there were some other incidents as well.” She shrugs, continuing to mix.

“A gift?”

“Tried it.”

“I- romantic encounter?”

“Tried it.”

“The universe is against you,” I declare. “Sorry.”

She shrugs again. “I’ve accepted it. I will love him from afar, I guess.”

“What if someone else told him for you?” I say, but she’s already shaking her head.

“No, I’d want it to be me! Besides, if I can’t talk to him enough to even tell him how I feel, we’re doomed,” she sighs. Marinette holds up her bowl. “Opinions?”

“Can you make it a bit more purpley?” I say, tilting my head to look at her black. “I think it’d be cool with the warm scheme of the vanilla cupcake.” My own icing looks more pink than red, so I put a couple more drops of food coloring into it.

“I like what you’re thinking,” she says. “So, Celeste. How about you? Anyone in your life?”

“Oh, um,” I say, blushing myself. “I have a date with Luka later this week.”

“Really?” Marinette squeaks. “That’s- that’s great!”

I blink. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” she says.

“Liar,” I say. “Your voice went up. Classic tell.” I raise one eyebrow. “Girl, if he’s some sort of psychopath and he murders me and you didn’t tell me, I’ll come back and haunt you once I’m dead.”

“No, nothing like that,” Marinette says. “Luka and I used to date, is all.”

“Really,” I say, turning back to the red icing. It still looks pink. Growling under my breath, I add another couple drops. “Why not anymore?”

“I felt bad,” Marinette says. “I still had feelings for Adrien, and he knew it. So one day he asked me if I still cared about him, and I said I did, and he said it wasn’t fair to him to give him half my heart when he’d given me all of his.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear as she stirs. “And the worst part of it is that he’s right.”

“Oh,” I say, because I’m not sure what else I can say to that.

“We’re still a bit awkward,” Marinette admits. “But he’s a great guy, Celeste. He’ll treat you like a queen. There was one time,” she says, and a smile grows on her face, “where we entered a contest, as the band. We entered a song, and that awful rapper XY- you know him?”

I nod, scrunching up my nose. “I don’t like his stuff. It’s boring.”

“He’s a dick. Anyway, he took our song and played it off as his and Luka saw how upset I was about it and got akumatized.” She smiles. “He said the sweetest things, and then he ran off and tried to steal everyone’s voices and help Hawkmoth.”

“Oh,” I say. “Shit.” I blink. “These akumas are really surreal, you know that?”

“Oh, yeah,” Marinette says. “You weren’t here when they started. Ladybug and Chat Noir didn’t even know what they were doing at that point. Ladybug forgot to capture the akuma, and it multiplied overnight.”

“They messed up?” I say, incredulous. “That badly?”

“Oh, yeah, they were a mess. They’ve gotten better, which is good, especially with the increased number of akumas and amoks,” Marinette says. “There. That’s a good black.” She turns the bowl for me to see, and I mutely nod my agreement.

“Wait,” I say, finding my voice. “Amoks? What the hell is an amok?”

“Mayura, Hawkmoth’s partner and holder of the Peacock Miraculous, makes amoks. They turn inanimate objects into annoying things,” Marinette says. “Lollipop monsters and giant dolls and the like.” She peers over my shoulder. “Need help turning the pink to red?”

“Please,” I say, thrusting it at her. “There are two of them? Since when?”

“There were a glorious two years where Mayura didn’t exist,” Marinette says. “Now, not so much.” She stirs vigorously while she talks. “Yesterday’s robot had an amok. You didn’t notice?”

“I missed that bit,” I say honestly. “Wow. You know, if my mom weren’t here, I don’t think I’d stay here.”  _ And if you weren’t Eala, _ a voice in my head says. I realize that the voice is right. Dammit, I’m stuck here.

“Yeah,” Marinette says. She shows me the bright red icing right as the oven timer dings. “You get used to it, I guess.” She pulls the cupcakes out of the oven, setting them on the counter. “Hey, I got it from here if you want to go home.”

“Really?” I say. “You sure?”

“Explain your sketch to me, and I’ll run with it. Nothing for two people here anyway, and the cupcakes still have to cool,” Marinette says. She smiles at me. “And Celeste, you look tired. You ought to go sleep.”

“I am tired,” I admit. “Well, here.” I show her my drawing, ripping the page out of my sketchbook. I explain the color ideas, and she nods along. Then I grab my bag from her room and run back down to the bakery.

“Here,” Marinette says. She hands me a little box. When I open it, I see a line of macaroons, the grapefruit ones we tried earlier.

“Marinette, you don’t have to,” I protest, but she waves me off.

“Please, my parents want you to have them.” She beams at me. “Besides, you said you’d never had a macaroon. You ought to have some to make up for all the ones you missed.”

“Thanks, Marinette!” I say, accepting them. “Tell your parents thanks too, okay?”

“Will do!” she says, grinning. “You’re welcome at the bakery anytime, Celeste.”

I wave, turning to leave, but then I turn back to her. “You’re a genuinely cool person, you know that?” I say carefully. “I think you need to tell Adrien how you feel, Marinette, because you deserve more than to be hung up on one guy for eternity.” I stare at her for a moment. “You deserve a lot of things, I think.” Realizing that I sound like an idiot, I blush furiously and scamper out of the bakery, crossing the street to a park.

“Eikka?” I ask my backpack. “Did Mom like macaroons?”

“That’s random, darling. Much like your little outburst in there.”

“Eikka!” I groan. “I meant every word.”

“I know,” she says. “It’s one of your weird quirks, darling. You have a strange sense of honesty. I rather like it, though.” She goes quiet for a moment. “Your mother did like macaroons. Strawberry was her favorite kind.”

“That’s it,” I say. I spy a planter box, blossoming with yellow and purple flowers. I grab a handful, not having the money to go buy flowers or the time or the willpower needed to actually go to a flower shop and find them and buy them. I plan on taking these flowers to her grave and sitting with her for a bit. I miss her.

“Celeste, I’m pretty sure that’s stealing,” a nasally voice drawls. I stiffen.

“Felix, this doesn’t concern you,” I growl, plucking a final flower and turning on my heel. The graveyard isn’t too far from here.

He follows me. “What are you even doing with those?”

“None of your damn business,” I say, trying to walk faster. Alas, I have tragically short legs. He stays with me.

“Are you trying to woo someone with sweets and flowers?” Felix says, sounding like he’s holding back laughter. “I’m a traditionalist, personally. I think the guy should make the first move.” I say nothing, slowing down because I can’t lose him anyway. “Though aren’t you bisexual?”

“Why do you care?” I say harshly to him. “It’s never going to affect you, you know.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he says. “So why the hell are you stealing flowers, Celeste?” He stays quiet for not nearly long enough. “I ought to report you. I bet I could get you thrown out with that, ha! Take that.”

“What do you mean, you bet?” I say, wheeling around to face him. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Language,” he drawls.

“Did you try to get me kicked out?” I gasp. “You did!”

“You’re a threat to my safety,” he says, his face blank. “You’re too goddamn emotional, Celeste. Hawkmoth’s gonna akumatize you one day, and then you’ll come after me.” He rolls his eyes. “If my mother didn’t like your dad so much, you’d be gone, but he won’t let you leave.”

“If I come after you, it’s because you pissed me off,” I say, turning and continuing walking towards the graveyard. “Which, now that I think about it, means that yes! I will come after you.” I storm angrily away from him, but he’s still following me. “Dammit, Felix, why are you still here?”

“If you’re going to the point of stealing flowers, I want to see how hot the girl is,” he drawls. “Where’d you steal the sweets, by the way?”

“I did not steal the sweets, they’re a  _ gift _ ,” I hiss, turning to face him once again. “And I have the flowers so I can go visit my mom’s grave. She likes macaroons, Felix, and she deserves flowers, so if you’d let me go visit my dead mom, I’d like to be on my way.” By the end of my rant, I’m almost shaking with rage. I take a deep breath, reminding myself to calm down before an akuma gets here.

Felix just stares at me. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly, looking at his polished shoes.

I can’t believe my ears, and for a moment, I'm pretty sure I heard him wrong. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “For trying to get you kicked out and all that.”

I cross my arms. “How about for being a dick?”

“I’ll apologize when you do,” he says. We have a silent staredown for a moment before he speaks again. “Are you lying?”

“About visiting a grave?” I gape at him. “What kind of twisted person do you think I am?”

“The kind of twisted person who steals flowers from a public planter!”

“I’m not going to lie about my mom, you prick!” I snap, and then I take off running, ducking into the graveyard at the last second.

It’s small- smaller than my dad and I would have expected for my mom’s chosen graveyard. It’s simple, the barest thing you’ve seen with a handful of tombstones. I sit down next to the one in the direct middle, the one that says  _ ETOILE MARIE VASSEUR _ and has a tiny carving of a swan. "Hi, Mom."

I lay the flowers down at the base of the grave and open up the box of macaroons. “Eikka said you liked these, Mom,” I say. I pick up one. “Cheers,” I say, gesturing to the ground. I take a bite. “Wow. I bet you would have loved this.”

“I miss you, Mom. Your Eala misses you. Eikka misses you, too.” I lean my head against the tomb and close my eyes, starting from the beginning. I’m not leaving until I’ve told her everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, comments are dearly loved!


	17. balance is key

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys are enjoying this! i still can't manage to get the chapter length consistent. oops! :)

“I’m not making this up,” Marinette says. “I went on one date with Nathaniel, and he was akumatized the whole time.” We’re walking to the boat after school with the rest of the band and Felix, who doesn’t know when to leave us alone. I’d prefer it if he left us alone all the time, because now I’m constantly on edge.

“He was akumatized and he wanted to go out with you?” I say. “Don’t they usually have more evil intentions?”

“I mean, yeah,” she says. “He wanted the miraculouses, but he wanted to go on a date first.” She laughs.

“And you  _ went _ ?” I ask incredulously. “Are you  _ insane _ ?” I shake my head. “I mean, there are enough horror stories for dates without the date being a villain.”

“I was working for Chat Noir when I went,” Marinette says. “And it was pretty romantic, as dates go. We were on a boat and he drew all of these beautiful decorations.” She sighs, then raises an eyebrow. “What about you? Past dates?”

“One,” I admit. “He took me to a hockey game, which I don’t know anything about and don’t particularly care to.” I frown, trying to remember. “I think we left early because he got food poisoning.”

“Sounds remarkable,” Marinette says. “What was his name?”

“Jared Milo,” I say, pulling it out of the depths of my brain. “Never went on a date with him again.” We both laugh as we approach the boat.

“Celeste!” Rose says, running up to me as soon as I’ve settled on the couch. She’s wearing an adorable dress today, pink with a flouncy skirt. It bounces with her- and she’s a bouncy person. “We’re going to warm up and then practice for twenty minutes, and then do you want to record us?”

“Yeah, totally!” I say. “I’m gonna warn you, I’m a bit slower since I can’t move my thumb.” I hold up my bandaged wrist- I’ve been rewrapping it so I still can’t move my wrist, but my four fingers are moveable, so I can hold onto things. At the end of the week, it should be healed enough for me to move it around without worrying the bandages will be too abrasive on a slightly mobile wrist.

“Don’t worry about it!” Rose chirps. “We have until Friday to submit our track anyway. And it’s only a minute long.” She gives me a wave and runs back to the group. I catch Luka’s eye, and he gives me a wave. I smile and wave back.

“I still don’t like him,” Felix remarks. He sits back and watches Luka with a snide look.

“That only makes me like him more,” I say, opening a new project in my computer. A cold wind blows over the boat, and I shiver. My black jeans and black-and-white long sleeved shirt aren’t exactly exposing me to the elements, but I’m wishing I’d worn fuzzy socks under my purple Converse and jeans without rips.

“You cold?” Felix asks. He’s examining his cuticles. I resist the urge to throw him overboard- or attempt to, anyway. I doubt I could lift him.

“Must be your personality,” I inform him, pulling my headphones over my ears as I test the recording microphone, tapping next to it and making sure it’s not getting white noise. I turn to Marinette and hold it up to her face. “Say something?”

“Celeste loves hockey,” she says. I stick my tongue out at her and resume my work. 

When I’m finished, I turn to her. “So what’s the costuming?”

“Okay, so I needed something rock-bandy, but also cheerful enough for a drug ad, right?” Marinette says. “Dramatic, dark florals, I think.” She shows me design after design, pointing out the gorgeous ruffled dress for Rose and the button-up shirt for Luka and Ivan’s hat and Juleka’s vest. “They’ll wear all one color- I’m thinking white, and then they’ll have the dark floral accent piece.” She taps her pencil on her sketchpad. “Can’t decide for Adrien, though.”

“Maybe give Juleka something that covers more of her body, and give her vest to Adrien? I can’t imagine her in all white,” I say. “Like a romper or something?”

“Jumpsuit,” Marinette says. “Ooh, one-sleeve jumpsuit. It’ll cover her whole body, like Rose, and it’ll look cool with all of the guys in minimal florals and the girls in total floral-ness.” She grins. “And Adrien will look  _ so cute  _ in a vest!”

“He could rock it,” I agree.

“Floral vest? Nasty,” Felix says. “Besides, you have all clothing pieces, and your drummer has a hat.” He leans across me, pointing out the intricacies of her design. “Go with dark, maybe black, vests for all of them and give them a floral tie. Or keep the white scheme here. Make everyone match.”

“But everyone in the band is so unique,” Marinette says. “Besides, an all-white outfit with a wonky tie is more poppy than rock.”

Felix sighs, getting up from his seat on the couch and dropping on the other side of Marinette. “You’re not a rock band, though. You’re a band for a drug.”

“Every image we put out at this point has to be the image we wish to project one day.” Marinette crosses her arms. “If we go from a crazy unicorn-kitty band to a rock band to a pop band like that, no one will know what we stand for.”

“Cat ears,” Felix says, sitting back. “This band’s called Kitty Section, right?”

“Why should we trust you?” I say, jumping in. “Just wondering.” Another wind blows through and I shiver again.

“Image is where I specialize,” Felix says coldly to me. “Besides, I know my way around clothing.” He adjusts his tie as he speaks. “I’m not much for designing my own things, but I recognize a good look when I see it.” He turns back to Marinette. “Get everyone with a different style, sure, but give everyone the same idea. Get both girls in dresses, get the guys matching patterned shirts, but mess with the style of it all. Give them cat ears to tie it all in, and it adds a sense of whimsy to the ad.”

Marinette nods. “Ooh, I love that, actually.” She turns to him. “Felix, right?”

He nods. “And you’re Puppet?”

“Marinette,” she says, scrunching her face. “Not marionette. Not ‘puppet.’”

He shrugs. “Whatever. Let’s see what you’ve got here.” The two huddle their heads together and start making notes in her sketchbook. I see where I’m not needed, so I focus on watching Luka play guitar. He makes a soft face when he plays, a face that makes me think of the pool of water in the middle of an oasis, and I think I could stare at that face for a while.

Alas, I only get to watch for two minutes before Rose waves me down. “Celeste, how do you want to go about this?” she squeals.

“I just need all the pieces,” I say. “I can put it together that way.” I look them over. “Adrien and Luka first, then Juleka, Ivan, and you last, Rose.”

“Which one of us?” Adrien asks. “Do you want us at the same time?”

“No, I want whichever one of you carries the melody the most first,” I say, pulling up a new recording. “Also where should we do this? The other side of the boat?”

“That’d work,” Luka says. “I believe you'd want me to record first, Celeste.”

“Cool!” I chirp, my voice going up too high. “Alright then.” He leads to me to the other side of the boat and I sit down, my computer in my lap, holding the mic up. “Whenever you’re ready, Luka.” His fingers hover over the guitar strings.

He plays quickly, an upbeat melody with a cool little run in the middle. When he finishes, I stand up and lean on the railing to save the melody and put it in a folder so I don’t lose it before I open a new recording.

“Alright,” I say, right as another wind blows in and I shiver. “Adrien next, I think.”

“Are you cold?” Luka asks, already pulling off his teal hoodie. Underneath he’s wearing a band tee- when is Luka ever not wearing a band tee, now that I think of it- and I can see his arms, see the muscle under the skin. It’s not obvious, but it’s enough that you know, right then and there. He hands me the hoodie.

“No, I’m fine,” I say, but another wind blows through and goosebumps dance across me. He raises an eyebrow and I take the hoodie, pulling it on and hugging myself in it. “Thanks, Luka.”

“Anytime,” he says. “Adrien?”

I nod. “Thanks,” I say again as he leaves. Adrien drags his keyboard over, and I slowly piece the song together, adding in Juleka’s bass and Ivan’s percussion and ending with Rose’s vocals. When Rose finishes- and I have her sing a couple times, just to get as many variants as I can to pick the best one, I follow her back around to the front of the boat, the hoodie wrapped tight around me.

“You guys want to hang out for a bit?” Juleka asks. “Rose, you wanna stay?”

“I always want to stay,” Rose says, kissing Juleka on the cheek.

“I promised Mylene we’d hang out tonight,” Ivan says, and with a wave he leaves us.

“I should probably get back,” Adrien says. “Felix, you coming?”

Felix looks up from working with Marinette. “Just a second,” he says. “We’re working on costuming, here.” His eyes track from Adrien to me, and they see the hoodie I’m wearing. “Celeste, what the hell?”

I rub my arms. “I was cold.”

“I asked if you were cold,” he growls.

“You asked me to mock me,” I point out.

“I was serious that time,” he says.

“Ah, yes, because you’re usually joking.” I put my headphones on, and begin looking for all of the tracks I need to make this song, and suddenly Felix is grabbing my arm.

“We’re leaving,” he says sharply.

I rip my arm out of his grasp. “I’ll walk back later. You leave without me.”

He reaches down and grabs me, dragging me to my feet. “Celeste, we’re leaving now.” He leans over and hisses into my ear, “I don’t trust this Luka guy. He’s taking advantage of you.”

“Felix, I’m fine,” I say. “It’s fine, we’re all fine.” I pull myself out of his grasp. “Stop grabbing me!”

“I said,” Felix growls, “we’re leaving  _ now _ .” He grabs my wrist and pulls- but it’s my bandaged wrist, and I gasp, tears welling up in my eyes.

“Felix, let go let go let go,” I gasp, and he sees what he’s done and lets go immediately, regret in his eyes. I cradle my wrist to my chest, and that’s when Luka steps between the two of us, reaching behind him to tuck me behind him.

“You heard her,” he says. “You can leave without her.” At the street, the Gorilla is waiting in the car. Adrien steps around Luka and grabs Felix, mouthing ‘sorry’ to me and pulling his cousin off the boat with him. As soon as Felix is off the boat, Luka turns to me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I say, wiping my face with my good hand. “He just managed to grab the exact wrong spot.” I smile. “I’m fine, see?”

Luka stares at me for a moment, his brilliant blue eyes boring into mine. “If you’re sure,” he says. “Can I get you some ice or something, at least?”

“I should probably head home soon anyway,” I say. “Work on the song.”

“Stay,” Luka says. “I’ll get you some ice, and you can work here for a bit.” His eyes are almost pleading, so I give in, nodding.

“Rose, what do you think?” Marinette says, coming over with her sketchbook as Luka vanishes below deck. "Felix may be a prick, but he's pretty good at this stuff. He helped a lot." She opens her book to a beautiful design- the girls are in dresses, as Felix suggested, but Marinette took it her way and gave Rose a frilly, ruffled, dress while Juleka’s dress is tight up top and flared barely at the bottom. Marinette scribbled  _ Combat boots? _ in the margins next to her designs.

The guys have floral shirts, but they’re all different styles as well. Ivan has a floral t-shirt, very simple. Adrien has a polo shirt and white suspenders for his pants, and Luka has a button-down long-sleeved shirt. Marinette’s also sketched out cat ears for everyone.

“I tried to get how Rose likes girly things, and go with a more Goth route for Juleka,” Marinette says, her words all a rush, “and there’s Ivan’s casual kind of design, see, and Adrien’s always so put together and he’d look so cute in suspenders, and then Luka’s- he’s Luka, I guess.” She blushes furiously.

“They look great, Marinette,” Juleka says. “I like mine.”

“The floral print would have a lot of purple and teal, so your hair and Luka’s hair match it,” Marinette says. “The hardest part about this would be finding the fabric.” She closes the sketchbook right as Luka comes back with some ice in a bag. He hands it to me, and I gratefully apply it to my aching wrist, whispering "thanks". He gives me a serene smile that lets me know I've been heard.

Marinette leaves, and then it’s just me and Luka and Juleka and Rose and me. We sit in a circle on the deck of the boat, and I pop my headphones on and lose myself in producing, occasionally joining the group to ask what people think. The three of them talk to each other, and it’s nice to have the company, and even nicer to have Luka sitting right next to me. I start just dropping my headphones onto his ears and hitting play when I need an opinion, and he leans closer to me to watch my screen, our arms pressed against each other as the sun goes down and I fiddle with the levels of everything, making sure nothing cancels anything else out. When I see the clock hit seven, I’m forced to hit save and close my laptop, pulling my headphones down to rest on my shoulders. “I have to go,” I say. “Dinner’s soon.” I start shrugging off Luka’s hoodie, but he places a hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t,” he says. “You’ll want it on the way home. I’ll take you.” He nods to his bike, leaning on the railing of the boat.

“We’d both fit?” I say, tucking my things into my backpack.

He smiles. “Hold on tight.” He hands me a helmet. “Just keep your balance.”

I soon decide that riding Luka’s bike is the only way to get around Paris, as my arms are wrapped tightly around his torso, my head resting on his back. He pulls up in front of the Agreste mansion, and I hop off, pulling off his hoodie and handing it back.

“Thanks,” I say. “For the hoodie and the ride.” I smile at him, wishing I could spend longer with this calm boy, the serene point in my life.

“Anytime,” he says. “Anything you need me for, Celeste, I’m here, okay?” He looks reproachfully at the mansion. “That Felix seems like a lot.”

“Nothing I can’t handle,” I say, laughing a bit despite myself. “Trust me, Luka, he doesn’t get to me.” A lie. But I don’t want to worry him, and I want it to be true.

Luka gets back on his bike, and with a half-wave and a “I’ll see you Friday, Celeste,” he’s off, riding back through the city. He looks over his shoulder at me once, and it makes me smile.

I turn back to the gate after watching him go, and I press the buzzer. The camera comes at me with Nathalie’s voice. “Please state your business.”

“I don’t have a key or anything?” I say. “It’s me, Celeste. Vasseur. Celeste Vasseur. Can I come in?” The camera goes in and the gate opens. I scamper through and run into the house, sprinting to dinner and barely making it in time.

Dinner’s quick as well- note to self, don’t even bother with any sort of rice dish. I can’t do it. I try to force more down than usual, since I didn’t eat anything at lunch today, and then I end up excusing myself to my room, where I vomit up slimy grains of rice. I get completely ready for bed right then and there- a shower, brushing my teeth, trying to make myself feel okay after the despair and hopelessness that’s the knowledge of  _ something’s wrong with me, isn’t it, when I can’t eat fucking slimy rice _ even though I’m sure it’s just grief. It’s only ever been grief.

So when I’m warm and clean, I sit on my bed and open my laptop, wondering how I’m going to finish the track in two days, and that, that right then is when the akuma alert on my phone goes off. I pick it up. It’s the fucking Mr. Pigeon again. I groan as I get out of bed, knowing that this won’t be difficult, but it will be time consuming.

When I get back from dealing with him and taking my second shower of the night- I know the Miraculous Ladybug erases everything that happened, but there’s something about being shat on multiple times by a cloud of pigeons that just makes you feel unclean. So I get out of the shower, and I remember I have homework to do, something for math and a worksheet on poetry, so I do a crappy job on both assignments and I climb back in bed with my laptop and I realize it’s one in the morning and I still have to work on the song a bit. I have an internal debate- do the song now and make it easier for myself tomorrow, or sleep? I ought to work.

But I really, really want to sleep. And it’s Wednesday, so I still have Thursday to work on this. I’ll be fine. It’s not slacking off, right?

Just this once, I say to myself as I let myself sleep. Just this once.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, comments are deeply appreciated!


	18. mounting pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> making villains is hard. hope you guys are still enjoying this! :)

“Celeste!” Juleka says, sitting down on the bench next to me before school starts. I pull my headphones off as she says, “What’s up?”

“Working on this track,” I say, rubbing my eyes. “I put all of the pieces together, no problem, but now I have to balance everything and make it sound professional and all that. Rose’s voice keeps getting all scratchy for some reason, and then your bass keeps getting lost when I fix it.” I give her a smile. “But I’ll have it done by practice tomorrow, don’t worry.”

“Good,” she says. “Don’t worry too much yourself, Celeste. I’m sure whatever you do with it will be great.” Juleka smiles, pulling me to my feet. “Come join us, Celeste.”

“Just give me a bit, okay?” I say, laughing. “I want to do this for you guys.” Juleka waves, and goes back to Rose, who wraps her arm around Juleka’s side and pulls her close. I think I’ve come to the conclusion that they’re dating by this point, but honestly, I don’t know. Frankly, it doesn’t really matter to me whether they’re dating or friends, as long as they’re good people, which they are.

I put my headphones back on, losing myself in the track to the point where Alya comes over and nudges me right as the bell rings. “C’mon, girl,” she says. “Time for class.”

In class, we present our art projects. Marinette whips out our cupcake creation, and it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. She replicated the design perfectly and the colors look great. After we present it, Marinette hands turns in a picture of the design and we pass out the cupcakes to everyone. Even Felix takes one.

I slide into my seat next to him, licking frosting off my thumb. I have my own cupcake, one with Eala’s braid. “Never seen you eat sweets before,” I say. “Didn’t peg you for that, honestly.”

“Why wouldn’t I eat sweets?” Felix says scathingly. He’s eating Ladybug’s foot. He licks off a glob of icing while making direct eye contact with me, as if to prove a point. Then his face scrunches. “I hate icing,” he says in a strangled voice. I choke back my laughter.

Adrien and Ivan play a song that I think was Jagged Stone’s at one point. However, Adrien cannot play the guitar very well and Ivan’s desk percussion don’t really create something that resembles music. Adrien owns it, taking a grand bow afterward. “I had three days to learn the guitar,” he explains.

Alya and Mylene have a collage of places from the city, Max and Alix have created a sculpture that resembles. . . nothing, really, as Max blabs on about the logical appeal and Alix rolls her eyes. Then Felix and Juleka go up.

“Using Juleka as a model, we tried to express how fashion is critical to the city,” Felix drawls. Juleka hides under her hair. Then Felix turns on his slideshow, and I audibly gasp.

With her lithe build and serene face (she and her brother share more than a love of music and unnatural hair), Juleka makes a natural model. She’s in a park, in various dresses and outfits, and she and Felix even appear together in a few. It’s a beautiful project.

Everyone claps when they’re done, and Rose gives Juleka a hug when she gets back to her seat.

I couldn’t tell you what happened after that point, since I fell asleep. Felix informs me when he finally shakes me awake that I missed a bunch of good presentations and that’s what I get for sleeping in class all the time. I flip him off and carry on to lunch, grabbing an apple and sitting with it in the hallway, just working on the track.

When the akuma alert goes off on my phone, I want to cry. I save the track on my laptop, and jog to the bathroom, making sure no one’s in here and locking myself in a stall. “Eikka,” I hiss. “Where are you?”

“You know, they didn’t use to have akuma alerts,” she says, floating down through a ceiling vent. “You looked all pissy in the hallway, but back in the day you knew there was a villain when someone either yelled it or when it came after you.”

“Not the time, Eikka!” I say, “Open wings!” She twists into my necklace and I transform, rolling my neck and feeling my muscles relax. I jog out of the stall and bust out of the bathroom, taking off to where I see a huge black cloud on the horizon.

As I soar towards the threat, I notice Ladybug swinging below me. I wave to her, swooping through already know she’ll want me to take a look at the situation. I see Chat Noir coming up through the rooftops shortly behind Ladybug, and I give him a mock salute before I dive beneath the dark cloud.

I fly over the wide streets that are suddenly smothered in shadows, frowning at the scene. People are huddled over the streets, collapsed or leaning on the sides of buildings. I drop down to one man, who’s crying and curled into a ball on the sidewalk.

“Sir?” I say, landing with a stumble and dropping to his side. “Sir, what’s wrong?” He doesn’t answer me, only lets out a keen wail. “What happened? Can you tell me anything, sir?”

“Somebody?” he whispers. “Anybody? Please.”

I reach out hesitantly- I remember the Cherry-Bomber all too well, and I’m a bit nervous to touch him. But eventually I place my hand on his shoulder, and he gasps. “Someone’s here! Who are you?”

“I’m Eala, sir. What happened?” He looks wildly towards the sound of my voice, but I get the feeling that he doesn’t actually see me. His hands reach out, and he grabs onto my wrist, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“She- she touched me,” he says. “She touched me, and everything’s gone.” His eyes stare hollowly into nothing. “Fix it, please.”

“I will,” I say. “We’ll fix it, sir, I promise.” I stand up, pulling my hand away. He grabs for it, crying out as Ladybug and Chat Noir land next to me.

“What’s the situation?” Ladybug asks.

“She touched him,” I say. “And I don’t think he can hear or see me unless I touch him, in which case he can hear me.” I turn back to him, watching him crawl up against a wall. He lets out a shaking sob. “I think he’s alone.” I turn to the rest of the street, staring at the numerous people who are all huddled on the ground. “They’re all alone.”

“Don’t let her touch you, then,” Chat says. “Easy-peasy.”

We walk down the street, heading towards the center of the storm cloud. The sound of crying people soaks up the air, and the shadows only get worse and worse. We walk down the street, towards the river, where the cloud is thick and black as tar. 

“There,” Ladybug says, pointing to a smoky figure in the sky. She’s short and squat and made of shadow, covered in swirling clouds of smoke. She turns towards us, her eyes dark pools of nothing, and she dives.

“Duck!” I cry, and we scatter. Ladybug tries to throw her yo-yo at her, but it goes straight through. Smoky turns and wheels on us, diving again.

“We might have an issue,” she says, cocking her arm back and throwing again. Once again, it goes straight through. “Eala, would your wind work against her?”

“I mean, maybe,” I say. “But there’s the issue in that I only get one.” Smoky dives at Chat, and he shoots straight upwards on his staff to avoid it.

“So we make a plan,” Ladybug says. Smoky twists and aims at me and I dive away, ducking behind a building.

“She’s made of smoke, right?” Chat says as his staff goes through her. “We’re next to a river. She can’t go in the water, surely.”

“So Eala, use your power against her and get her into the river.” Ladybug whirls her yo-yo, catching the bridge. “Chat Noir and I will get her over here. You go up, and when we go underwater, you hit her.”

“On it,” I say, taking off. Smoky turns and growls at Ladybug, who waves at her before swinging into the river. Chat leaps, and Smoky grabs at him and misses, and I fly up.

“Hey!” I yell. “Up here!” Smoky turns, sees me, and charges. Ladybug and Chat Noir dive underwater as Smoky comes at me, going faster and faster, the deep tar pools of her eyes consuming me. “Feather Dance!”

The gust of wind forms in my palms, and I push it at Smoky, but instead her insides dissipate and reform. Her eyes seem to grow darker right as her palm collides with my chest.

It’s instantaneous, the darkness. The world fades away and I’m surrounded in an all-encapsulating darkness. It’s completely quiet.

“Hello?” I say. “Anyone here?” I can’t feel anything. I can’t see anything. I’m lost. “Guys, where am I?” I realize I was over the water at the time, and I wasn’t flying, so surely I’m in the river. “Help, help!” I scream. I try to remember how to swim, and I realize I don’t know which way is up. I determine that I must be in the water as well, because I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe, and oh my god I’m going to die here, alone, in the river. Everyone will know who I am, and oh my god oh my god I’m going to die?

I’ll see my mother. I’ll see my mother. I’ll be dead. But my mother will be there.

Suddenly someone’s touching me and I don’t know what’s happening but I grab onto the wrist attached to the hand, or at least what I hope is the wrist and then there’s a pressure on my chest and I’m coughing, I’m coughing, and everything hurts, and Chat Noir’s voice filters through to me. “Eala. Eala, you with me?”

“Chat Noir?” I say. “It’s dark,” I whisper, and I start crying because everything’s just pushing in on me and I can’t breathe with all the pressure. “I’m alone, I’m all alone.”

“You’re not alone,” he voice says, and I search for it, for him, but of course I can’t see him. “You’re not alone, Eala, and I need you to know that because I have to leave and help m’Lady.”

I nod, choking back sobs. “I- I’m not alone,” I whisper. “Even though it feels like it.”

“It won’t be long,” he says. “I’m putting you up against a wall here, okay? Propping you up.” I feel my body move, and then he squeezes my arm and then he’s gone and I reach out for him and find no one, find nothing.

And then I’m alone in the darkness. “Eikka?” I whisper. “Eikka, where are you? Are you there?” She’s not because she’s making me Eala, and I can’t see, can’t even see anything around me, and it’s like I’m stuck in a cesspool of oblivion.

Do you know what it means to see a more vivid darkness when you open your eyes? To let it press in onto you, a collective reminder of your failures? To know that there are people around you, but also know they could all be down and dead and gone and there’s no way to find the truth? Do you know the weight of loneliness?

I do.

I let it seep into me, let myself become one with the darkness, and I wonder if I’m crying because I can’t feel the tears cross my cheeks. I can feel the aching in my lungs, the shaking way I’m breathing, the dryness in my throat. But I can’t feel the ground or the building next to me or my hair on my shoulder. I can’t feel anything because I’m lost and alone.

But Chat Noir said I’m not alone, so I hug my knees to my chest and I whisper “you are not alone.” I whisper it again and again, and I whisper it to fill the silence, my voice being the only noise in here. I fill the darkness with the reminder that I am not alone.

I count them, and it’s 87 repetitions before the darkness suddenly leaves me, and I blink my eyes open, unclenching my body, and Chat Noir’s dropping to his knees in front of me.

“You got her?” I rasp. He nods. All around me, I see people jumping to their feet, looking at their hands, calling out to others.

“Some grandmother whose son hasn’t called on her birthday,” he says. “She felt insignificant, so she made everyone else feel the way she did.”

“She felt like that?” I say, getting to my feet. “Poor woman.” 

“Ladybug’s taking her home.” Chat clears his throat. “You okay? We didn’t see that you were in the river until it was too late.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I say. “I- that was terrible.”

“Bet I can top it,” he says. “Got Cataclysmed in the ribs. Multiple times.” He winces. “I couldn’t stand up straight.” Chat Noir looks at me and sees me shaking. He goes quiet. “How terrible?”

“I couldn’t feel anything or see anything or hear anything,” I say. “I was utterly helpless and alone, Chat. I was drowning and I had no idea.”

“That used to be me,” he says. “The one who would try the risky plans, so Ladybug could 

Survive.” He turns to me, his hands on my shoulders, his strangely green eyes boring into mine. “That’s the only thing you need to know, you know. Ladybug survives.”

I nod. “Ladybug survives.” My necklace blinks and I start. “I have to go.”

“See you around, Eala,” Chat says. He gives me a wave, and I take off through the air, going as quickly as I can back to school. I soar just outside the front entrance, and after a quick look to make sure no one’s watching, I trade the white jumpsuit for my jeans and t-shirt, and I run back inside. I find my laptop right as the bell rings.

All I missed was lunch.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, each and every comment is deeply cherished!


	19. i'm scraping by

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a shorter chapter- i might have to make this a chapter every other day or something, because i run out of time during the day and my sleep schedule is taking the hit. i'm still going to try to do it every day! but if it doesn't happen, the chapter will be out the next day, promise.

I pull an all-nighter to finish the track, finally passing out at 5:30 in the morning. My dad brings me my coffee and a fruit smoothie (smoothies are good and I suspect he’s adding nutritional supplements to them, so I don’t complain) and the caffeine keeps me awake for another couple of hours. I even make it through lunch. Alas, I could not tell you what happens in my afternoon classes. I sleep through them all.

After school, I grab my sweater and run to join Juleka and the others. “We’re going?” I say, pulling my sweater tightly around me. I’m always so cold lately, and I’ve been dressing to stay warm. Today I have fuzzy socks with my Converse, a good pair of non-ripped jeans, and a long-sleeved shirt with stars on it, and my sweater. I’m still cold, though.

“Luka’s meeting us here, since the school’s on the way to the studio,” Rose chirps. “Girl, you look freezing!”

“It’s cold out,” I say, hugging myself.

“You’ve got no body fat,” Felix says snidely. “No wonder you’re cold.” He reaches out and grabs my wrist, circling his fingers around it. “See?” His fingers overlap a considerable amount. I jerk my wrist out of his grasp.

“Not in the mood today, Felix,” I say sourly, crossing my arms.

“Why? Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed?” He narrows his eyes at me, glaring fiercely. He seems upset about something.

“No, I’m just not in the mood,” I say, plastering a sickly sweet smile on my face.

“As much as we love this constant bickering,” Alya says, walking by with Nino, “I’m going to have to ask you two to separate for the time being.” She blows Marinette a kiss. “Good luck, girl!” With a wave, she leaves the building right as Luka pokes his head around.

“Luka!” I say, waving.

Felix grabs my arm. “I still don’t trust him.”

“When will you understand that I don’t care about your opinion?” I growl. Luka walks over to me, and I beam. “Hey, how’s it going?”

“The deadline’s been moved up,” Luka says. “We have twenty minutes to get it in.”

“What?” Marinette gasps. “Celeste, do you have it?”

I hold up the flash drive. “Right here.”

“Let’s go then!” Adrien says. “The gorilla- damn, he isn’t here!” He makes a fist. “We’ll have to run, then.” He waves us to follow him, then takes off running. We scramble to follow, Felix snorting and waving us off.

“Eikka,” I gasp. “Help me.” I don’t run. I’ve never been a runner. I don’t have any endurance or speed or anything running related. I can’t run.

“Not unless you’re Eala,” she hisses to me, before hiding in my bag again.

We make it across three blocks, all of us in a clump with me at the back, before my lungs start to feel like they’re not getting enough air. Another two blocks and my legs are shaking. Another block, and I feel woozy.

“Ivan,” I gasp, because he’s the closest to me in the pack. “Take the flash drive, I’ll catch up to you.” I press it into his palm, then stop running, lean against a building. My head spins, and spots dance in front of my eyes. I take a deep, shuddering breath, feeling my lungs rattle.

“Celeste?” Luka’s stopped, and he sees me struggling. “You guys go ahead, we’ll catch up,” he calls. He jogs back to me, dropping to my side. “Celeste, are you okay?”

I try to stand up straight and come stand with him, but the world spins and I collapse, falling on my hands and knees. “Dizzy,” I say, more of a gasp than a word. “Really- really dizzy.”

“Is something wrong?” Luka says. I look up at him, trying to convey the  _ seriously?  _ in my eyes. He sighs and amends himself. “I mean, are you sick?”

“No,” I gasp. “No, I don’t- I don’t know what- what this is.” I gently push myself back to lean up against the wall, keeping my eyes closed. It’s the sort of dizzy where you feel like your head is filled with water, and it’s sloshing from side to side, trying to take you down with it.

“Do you need water?” Luka asks. “Food?”

“Not food!” I squeak. I fear if I eat, I’ll vomit. I cannot vomit. “Water would be nice, though. I have a water bottle, in my bag.” Luka unzips my bag and too late, I remember Eikka, but he hands me the bottle without an issue. I take a shaky sip, then another.

“Celeste, would you be able to hold onto me on my bike?” Luka asks, placing his hand on my hand. “I want to catch up with them and take you to see a doctor.”

“No, no doctors,” I say, slowly pushing myself up to my feet and leaning on the wall. “Not necessary. I’m fine. Go get your bike, okay?”

“I’ll be right back,” Luka promises, and then he jogs off, back towards the school. I take another sip of water.

“It’s your lack of body fat,” someone says, and I fear vomiting once again as I see Felix saunter up. “Your body has nothing to burn when you run.” He leans against the wall and crosses his arms.

“Felix, you’re not helping anything,” I say, closing my eyes. Maybe he’ll go away. Maybe he's like that one akumatized director, and he'll freeze if you're not looking at him.

“I’m worried about you,” Felix says, and it almost sounds like there’s emotion in his voice. I open my eyes and turn towards him.

“Don’t worry,” I say. “Please.” He’s standing directly in the sun and his hair’s lit up in a fiery blonde like my mother’s used to. Would she worry about my sudden dizziness? Probably, because she’s my mother. Felix is not my mother. The fact that he's acting like Mom makes it a thousand times worse.

Luka rides up on the bike just then, holding out a purple helmet. I take it and put it on, clipping the buckle under my chin. Felix groans. “Seriously, Celeste? This guy again?”

I ignore him and climb slowly onto Luka’s bike, wrapping my arms around him and holding on tight. “Get me out of here,” I whisper to him, giggling. Luka gives me a slow smile, and oh how I welcome the calm that smile brings! Because he’s pedalling and he’s pedalling quickly, and we’re almost flying through the streets of Paris. I still think this is the only way to ride, with my head leaning on his back.

“Where’d you get the helmet?” I ask, raising my voice to be heard.

“I bought it,” he calls over his shoulder. “Can’t have you riding without a helmet.”

“Luka!” I say, both flattered and indignant. “I’ll pay you back for that. If you wanted me to have a helmet, I could have gotten my own.” I can't believe he got me a helmet. And a purple one, nonetheless.

“Ah, but then it wouldn’t be nearly as fun to see your eyes light up with a purple helmet,” Luka responds. “Look, there’s the studio.” We bike up to it, and Luka slows down, letting me get off first and hopping off, clipping the bike to a rack quickly before we head inside. I attempt a jog, but almost instantly feel my head swoop, so I slow to a walk.

“Guys!” I cry out as soon as we get in. They’re walking in a group back towards us. “How’d it go? Did you make it?”

“We made it!” Marinette squeals. “We made it just in time!”

“Yay!” I say, laughing.

“Marinette was amazing,” Adrien says. “There was this giant group of people in the way and she just shoved her way through.” He turns to her, grinning, and I think she actually melted a bit.

“We had to get our entry in,” Marinette says, blushing. “Anyway, are you okay? We saw you went down.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” I say. “Just a horrible runner, I guess.” That makes Juleka chuckle. “Luckily Luka stayed back and helped me.” I turn to him, smiling, and he reaches out and takes my hand, squeezing it as he leans down to whisper in my ear.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to a doctor?” he whispers. “I could take you really quickly.” His eyes are filled with urgency and care.

I shake my head. “I’m fine, Luka. Don’t worry about me.”

“You’d tell me if you weren’t fine?” he says softly.

“I would,” I say, squeezing his hand back.

“What’d you say if we went for ice cream?” Ivan says, rubbing his neck. “I could call up Mylene and ask her if she wanted to join.”

“Sounds good to me!” Marinette chirps. “Adrien, do you- do you have gnome? I mean, do you have to be home?” Her face is about as bright red as a human face could get.

“I could probably tag along,” Adrien says with a shrug.

“Yes, that sounds amazing!” Rose squeals. She's bouncing on her toes.

“Ice cream sounds good,” I agree, smiling my face off. “Actually, I’d kill for something cold and sweet right now.”

“Ice cream it is,” Juleka says, wrapping her arm around Rose and squeezing her close to her body. “Luka, you in?”

“Of course,” he says, not taking his eyes off me for a second. So we all walk over to get ice cream, meeting up with Mylene and Alya and Nino and Alix on the way, and it’s a giant group of people all laughing and talking, and the whole time Luka’s holding onto his bike with one hand and me with the other, and his hand is warm and calloused and it’s the best thing.

We walk up the bridge to the ice cream cart, and I look around and realize this is where we battled whoever that villain was yesterday, and I stop moving, just stand there, remembering the blackness, the dark. The loneliness and the isolation and the feeling that everything was pressing into you.

“Celeste?” Luka says, giving my hand a gentle tug. “You zoned out for a second.” I blink, then walk quickly to be by his side again.

“Sorry,” I say, wrapping my other hand around our joined ones.

“Your hands are extremely cold,” Luka notes. “Icy.”

“No idea why,” I say. “Sorry.” I take my hand off, and he sighs, giving me a look until I put it back on.

“I want to play you a song this weekend on our date,” he says. “When we’re alone. Is that okay?” His beautiful eyes cradle mine in their gaze, his hair flopping down so his eyes are almost covered, but not quite, like a wind blowing apart the fronds of a weeping willow to reveal the trunk.

“Sounds great,” I say, completely sincere, and I realize that even though I’m barely making it in life, barely making it at school and as Eala and with this producer thing, I’ve made it in one place. Luka. Somehow Luka Couffaine has slipped through my net of failure.

I hold on tighter to his hand as though it’s the only thing keeping me here on earth.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think! once again, luka's such a tricky character to write if you ask me, so let me know if i messed anything up?


	20. unplanned issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another long-ish one! this one required a fair amount of research compared to some other chapters.

I pass out when I get home. After ice cream, we all hung out and then went out to a bistro for dinner. I found a salad with chicken and apples that I actually ate a fair amount of, and then we all hung out on the boat some more, and then Luka noticed me almost asleep on the couch and offered to take me home. I got to hold onto him one more time, and then he waved me goodbye. “See you tomorrow,” I promised and he smiled. I barely made it through my nightly routine before passing out entirely on my bed, not even under the covers.

The next morning- or afternoon, I should say, since I slept the morning through, I’m searching for a date outfit- I definitely want my chunky sweater, and maybe a dress? But I also know that he’ll be riding his bike, so I might not want a dress. I finally pick leggings and a pretty purple shirt, with my purple shoes as well. I lay it all out on my bed and start on my hair in the bathroom, doing a little braid that pulls my hair away from my face, and that’s when Nathalie enters.

“Mr. Agreste requests you for some more tests,” she says, her face blank.

“I- I can’t,” I say. “I have a date in an hour.” I swallow hard. “Can we do it tomorrow? Or when I get back?”

“Mr. Agreste requires your presence now,” Nathalie says. “He shouldn’t have to wait for you.”

“If he’s going to spring it on me last minute, I think he can wait,” I say, desperation in my voice. “I have a date, Nathalie, with a really great guy-”

“If he’s so great, he’ll understand,” Nathalie says. She raises one eyebrow.

“I-” I almost scream, but I remember Gabriel’s threat to my dad. “Give me a minute, please.” I hold back tears as she nods and turns to leave, and then I call Luka, my hand shaking as I raise my phone to my ear.

“Celeste!” Luka says, his voice happy. “What’s up? I’m excited about this afternoon.”

“I- I-” I say, my breath hitching in my chest. “I’m so sorry, Luka, something came up. Can we do this tomorrow?”

He’s silent for a moment. “What came up, Celeste?” His voice is cautious, testing the waters.

“I’ll explain it all tomorrow,” I say, and I drop my volume to a whisper and hiss “I don’t know if I’m allowed to tell you and it’s messy and I hate it and I want to be with you this afternoon but they’re not letting me say no, Luka, I’m so sorry.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I say, more of a reflex or anything. “I’m so sorry,” I say again.

“I look forward to tomorrow, then,” Luka says. “If something’s not okay-”

“I’ll tell you, promise,” I say. “See you tomorrow, Luka.” I tap the button to hang up, my heart sinking in my chest. I take a deep breath, reminding myself to calm down or an akuma could come. I drop my phone, just in case.

I get dressed, finding a giant baggy sweater and a random pair of purple leggings, putting my hair up in a messy ponytail. No shoes. I brush my teeth and debate finding something to eat- I didn’t see my dad this morning, but he’d want me to eat something. I don’t want to eat anything, though, so I don’t.

I walk slowly to Gabriel’s office, dragging my feet, regretting every step, regretting ever consenting to move here. I’m his pawn. I’m his plaything. I knock on the door, and it’s opened immediately, and sadly I walk inside.

“Your human pincushion,” I say sarcastically, dropping into a mock bow. I see the sad chair in the corner and groan internally.

Gabriel surveys me from the desk. “Get on the table.” I look over, surprised, and see a giant metal table that looks cold as Gabriel’s personality.

“Can I get more notice next time we do this?” I say, my voice sour. “Because I had to cancel a date. A date.” I cross my arms, pouting.

Gabriel doesn’t look up this time. “Table.”

“I don’t think you understand this,” I say, flexing my hands. “See, I had a  _ date  _ with a wonderful person, and I had to call an hour ahead and push it back to tomorrow.” I take a deep breath. “I’m going to ruin this whole thing before it starts,” I say slowly. “So some warning next time would be great.”

“If you don’t get on the table right this instant, I will find your date and remove him from Paris.” Gabriel looks over his glasses at me, a snarl on his lips.

“I never said it was a guy,” I say, stalking to the table. “Just FYI.” I hop up onto the table, dangling my legs over the edge. It’s freezing.

“Then I’ll remove  _ her _ from Paris.” Gabriel makes a note in a little black notebook. “Nathalie, restrain her.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I spit. “Why don’t you see if I cooperate before you restrain me, huh?” Nathalie pulls up these thick metal cuffs from underneath the table, forcibly grabbing my wrist and hooking one on. It latches onto the table with a clang, some sort of super-powerful magnet keeping me stuck. “Watch it!” I shriek, jumping off the table. I swat at Nathalie as she comes for my other wrist, stuck to the table still. “Get away from me with that!”

“Your blood tests came back odd,” Gabriel says. “Your blood iron was lower than expected. So were your hormone and thyroid levels. You also have a potassium deficiency and fewer blood cell counts than expected.” He sighs. “The hospital noticed these things, but I convinced them it was a side effect of being akumatized. You haven’t been akumatized in a week, correct?”

I kick at Nathalie, who grabs my foot and pulls. I’m thrown to the ground, my shoulder popping as my wrist is yanked against the restraint. She takes the moment to throw me back on the table and cuff my ankle. Gabriel continues. “Correct. So our blood tests today will see if that’s true, or if it’s just something about you, hmm?” Nathalie grabs for my other ankle and I kick her in the shoulder. “Miss Vasseur, if you harm my assistant you will regret it,” Gabriel says sharply.

“I’ll let you take the damn blood, just don’t tie me down,” I snarl. “What if an akuma comes in here? I can’t  _ go _ anywhere!”

Gabriel chuckles. “No akuma will find you here, Miss Vasseur.”

“There is literally no way you can confirm that,” I say, right as Nathalie clamps down my last wrist and I feel like a Vitruvian Man, spread out on this table.

He shrugs. “True. But if one arrives, I’ll deactivate the magnets.” He turns back to his desk. “Nathalie, take the blood now.”

“How much, sir?” Nathalie asks. She’s fiddling with a kit, and I turn my head away, refusing to watch.

“Half a liter, give or take,” Gabriel says. “That should suffice.”

“Can I get a snack?” I say. “Haven’t had breakfast.” 

“Perfect,” Nathalie says. I roll my eyes. They’re asking me to pass out. It sounds like fun.

“Boohoo,” Gabriel snarls. “I need every drop, trust me. I’d get it tomorrow, but you have a  _ date _ , don’t you?” I feel a pinch on my arm, and I know Nathalie’s started.

“You did six milliliters last time,” I say, wincing as Nathalie starts again. “Why more?”

“I need the same tests as last time,” Gabriel says. “Plus some additional ones. What can you tell me about your mother’s work?”

“She studied swans,” I say. “Nathalie, how hard is it to get blood? I mean, really.” The woman is using my arm as her pincushion. I did not mean that I was a literal human pincushion when I arrived.

“So you’ve mentioned,” Gabriel snarls. “I mean before you were born.”

“I don’t know,” I say. “She went to Paris, and I think she might have worked in China for a summer- seriously, ask my dad. I don’t know.” Gabriel turns to me, glaring, and I glare back. “I don’t know!” I say, exasperated. I’d throw my hands up if I could move them. “Sorry.”

“No issue,” Gabriel says. He goes back behind his desk. “Nathalie, where did you leave the scalpel?”

“The what now?” I say, pulling against the restraints. I only end up bruising myself and jerking Nathalie’s needle, which hurts like a motherfucker.

“It’s in your third drawer,” Nathalie says. Gabriel rummages around until he finds it.

“How’s your burn healing, Celeste?” he asks, holding the scalpel in the air. I take one look and shake my head.

“You better not be thinking of using that on me,” I say, almost laughing because of how ridiculous this is. “No fucking way.”

“It could be a property in your skin,” Gabriel says. “We have a small supply of medical tools here. Bandages and ointment and such.”

“Let me get this straight,” I say, yanking against the restraints again. “You’re going to remove a piece of my skin?” My head hurts.

“Two pieces, actually,” Gabriel says, wiping the blade on a cloth. “One burned, one clean. Would you have consented to this?”

“Hell, no!” I shriek. “No way. No  _ fucking  _ way.” The shriek hurts my ears, and I go quiet quickly.

“Hence, the restraints,” he says, gesturing to the table. “Also, your language is appalling.” 

“Sorry,” I drawl, blinking to try to clear away the fuzz at the edges of my eyes. “Must be the whole cuffed-to-a-table thing. Messes with the head.”

“You need to learn when to stop talking,” Gabriel snarls. He pauses. “Almost done, Nathalie?”

“Finished, sir,” Nathalie says. She stands up and walks back into my viewpoint with my blood in vials. Lots of them. Half a liter is a lot.

“How long until she’s unconscious?” Gabriel says. I make a choking noise.

“What’d you do?” I gasp. “What’d you do to me?” Nathalie narrows her eyes at me, and I see her tucking a syringe into her pocket. These psychopaths drugged me. They drugged me! With what, I have no idea.

“If you let her stand and walk, not long.” Nathalie folds her hands behind her back. “What would you like to do, sir?”

“Release her,” Gabriel says. Nathalie pulls out her tablet and taps a few times on her screen, and the pulling on my wrists and ankles vanishes. I grab at them, trying to pull them off. But they’re locked.

“I have the key,” Nathalie says, holding it up. “It won’t work.”

“Then I’m not moving,” I say weakly. They want me unconscious? Then I will not be unconscious.

“We’ll use the drugs, then,” Gabriel growls. He opens his hand and Nathalie hands him a syringe. “You really want to be difficult? No one will even know!” He laughs. “No point in being difficult here, because the worse you get the worse your punishment will be.” He stalks to my side, and I feel the cuffs being turned back on. “You won’t tell a soul, will you, Miss Vasseur?”

“I- I-” I struggle to form a word, tears forming in my eyes. “No, please.” It’s a gasp, not a word. Why am I so goddamn weak?

“Don’t worry,” Gabriel says, an evil look in his eyes. “We’ll go under your burn bandage. Make it easier to hide. No one will ever know.” He holds the syringe up to my neck. “Pleasure doing business with you, Miss Vasseur.” He squeezes it, and I try to stay awake, but it’s too much to bear.

I wake up hours later in my bed, my wrist stinging and my head pounding. I feel like I’m going to vomit. I reach for my wrist, gasping at the pain when I touch it. I look at it. It’s bleeding through the bandages.

“Bandages,” I say misshapenly, my mouth dry and sticky. I struggle to sit up and climb out of bed, but the movement seems to have a bad effect on me and I fall back, groaning. I put pressure on my wrist instead, trying to find a way to stop the blood. The blood that’s all over my sheets, by the way.

I decide that rolling is the way to go. I take a deep breath, feeling my heart pound in my chest, and I roll up onto my side. Okay, good, good. I roll down onto my stomach. My wrist is squished under me. I guess I’ll have to trash this sweater since there’s bound to be blood on it by now. I roll one more time-  _ c’mon, side, then back _ \- and that’s one time too many for me, and I’m flat on my back on the floor, cradling my wrist to my chest. The bandages are soaked, but my head is spinning.

“They’re trying to kill me,” I groan. I don’t even think I’m being melodramatic here. Why the hell would they want to kill me, though? I didn’t do anything to them. Gabriel was even nice to me at first. Then he showed his true colors. Now he either wants me dead or he’s really bad at anything medical related. The guy’s a fashion designer. It could be either one. I want to believe he’s really bad at doing tests since I don’t think I’ve pissed anyone off enough to want me dead.

Someone knocks on my door just then, and I start. No one can see me like this. “Who is it?” I say, my voice breaking in the middle. “Because you need to go away.”

Felix barges through my door the way he always does, ignoring me as he always does, talking already, as he always does. “Do you have any biographies in here- oh my god, Celeste!” His eyes widen, and I’m sure he’s taking in the wonderful sight that is my bloody sheets and bloody wrist and bloody clothes. “What the hell did you do?”

“I told you to go away,” I groan. He drops to my side, his hands hovering like he can’t decide what to address first.

“Well, it’s a good thing I ignored you, then. Celeste, oh my god. Oh my god.” Felix’s eyes search everywhere. “What happened?”

“I-” I say, and then I stop. I can’t tell a soul. “Period. I’m on my period.”

“Really?” Felix asks. “You’re pale as shit- and that’s a lot since you’re already pasty- and you’ve got blood on your wrist and your pillows, way too much for a period. Now, I’m no girl, but I don’t think that’s how these things work.” He jumps to his feet and runs to my bathroom. “Where are your bandages and why are you lying?”

“They’re under the sink,” I say weakly. Felix rummages around in there and reappears with a raggedy towel and my bandages.

“What happened?” Felix asks again, dropping to my side and removing my old bandage. He presses the towel over the wound. “Celeste, were you- are you trying to kill yourself?”

“No!” I say quickly. “No, I- I just did a test with Gabriel Agreste, and he took some blood to run it through tests, and then I came back here and I woke up like this.” It’s a terrible lie. “I took a nap when I got back. Maybe an akuma got me in my sleep or something.”

Felix presses harder with the towel and I gasp. “Sorry,” he says. “Gotta apply constant pressure here.” He sits silently for a moment. “Why would it come at you in your sleep?”

“I don’t know,” I say. “Maybe I had a bad dream or something. I have no idea.”

He frowns. “I’m glad I ignored you, then. This is a bloody wound.” I nod, letting him keep applying pressure. “How do you feel?” He bites his lower lip as he squeezes harder.

“My wrist hurts-”

“For god’s sake, just let me help you stop bleeding,” Felix snaps. “Ungrateful.”

“And my head fucked up,” I say, closing my eyes and ignoring him. “I didn’t eat anything today.”

“Why the hell not?” Felix snaps again. “God, Celeste, are you a moron? No wonder you’re weak.” He shakes his head, rolling his eyes. “I’ll call Adrien and get him to bring you something.”

“No!” I say quickly, and his eyes narrow. “I- I’m embarrassed about all of this.” He raises an eyebrow, and I try to amend it. “It’s bad enough that you have to see me like this. At least let me have some dignity in front of Adrien?”

He stares at me for a second. “Alright,” he says. He gently pulls the towel back. “I think the worst of it’s over.” Felix carefully rewraps my wrist and makes sure nothing else is bleeding. He strips the bloody sheets off my bed and finds new ones, making the bed quickly and impeccably. He lifts me up and sits me on the bed, handing me my pajamas to change into- “I’m not helping you change. Some things I don’t want to see, you know”- while he goes to find me something to eat. I try to talk to Eikka while he’s gone, but she’s distant with me and refuses to interact, so I focus on changing. When he returns, he gives me a fruit smoothie and tells me to rest, tucking me into bed.

“Thanks, Felix,” I say, relaxing into the blankets. 

“Any sane person would have helped,” he says, rolling his eyes. “No big deal.”

“Where’d you learn all of this?” I say, gesturing to the room while I sip my smoothie. “You were very efficient.” He goes to leave the room but stops at my question.

Felix places one hand on the door and looks over his shoulder at me. “My dad,” he says. “I learned how to take care of him.” Our eyes meet for a second, the shared tragedies between us connecting us for a moment, before he closes the door behind him and shatters the connection with the click of a latch.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment what you think, please!


	21. help is strange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another shorter one, hope y'all enjoy it! :)

The next day I still feel a bit woozy, tired and aching from the evening before. I get up, slowly shaking off the shadowy claws of sleep as I brush my hair and brush my teeth and unwrap my wrist. I gently wipe off the dried blood, cleaning it carefully. The burns show improvement, but I can tell the scars are going to be terrible. I wonder if my dad’s made an appointment for the skin grafts yet.

Gritting my teeth, I dab away at the blood around the most sensitive place, right on the inside of my wrist. Carefully clearing it away- it hasn’t really scabbed over, more like the blood’s a thick film- I see the bastard Gabriel Agreste has cut away two tiny squares, one that’s taken all of the watch band seared into my skin, and one that’s a centimeter below it. Why he didn’t just take one damn rectangle, I have no idea.

I sigh, rewrapping my wrist. I think it’s a wonder I didn’t bleed to death last night. Somehow, it’s thanks to Felix. Felix! Of all people. I’m shaking my head as I walk back into my room, debating getting dressed. But I still have several hours before my rescheduled date, and I don’t want to risk getting anything on my clothes. I grab my sweater, pulling it tight around me, and wander off to find some breakfast.

I poke my head into the dining room cautiously. No one’s here. I eye the fruit bowl in the middle of the table- a stupid touch if you ask me. Fruit bowls are supposed to make things feel warm and friendly. The goddamn table is the most terrifying table known to man. You’d need a thousand fruit bowls.

I pass up the bananas and the oranges, but the apples look delicious, so I grab two, tossing one up and catching it again and again. I debate eating in here, but then I realize Amelie could come and find me and she’d probably freak out on me, and I decide that my room is safer. I turn around, ready to leave when the door opens.

I tense up, but it’s only Felix. He comes in, looking cross as usual. “I was looking for you,” he says tersely.

“You found me?” I clear my throat, holding up the apples. “Breakfast.”

“You shouldn’t be up,” he says, coming over and taking them from me. “Really, you should be resting.”

“I just slept,” I say. “Give those back!” I swipe for them, and he holds them, in one hand, above my head. I couldn't reach it even at full health.

“I don’t think you’ll want these,” he says. “On account of that, they’re fake.” He raises an eyebrow. “Wax.”

“Really?” I say, crossing my arms.

“Really.” Felix sets the apples back in the bowl. “Tell you what, you go back to bed and I’ll make you some eggs or something.”

I gag. “Please, not eggs.”

“What do you eat, then?” Felix says. “I brought you a smoothie because you’re always eating one in the mornings. But surely you eat things other than smoothies.”

“I don’t like the texture?” I say cautiously, trying to think of how to explain it. “Of lots of foods. Smoothies are the easiest thing for my dad to make me that I like. Lots of fruit. And I think he puts protein powder or something like that in them, because if the meat’s too slimy or smooth or rough or chewy or tough or anything like that I can’t eat it.”

“Sounds like it’s a pain to find something you like,” Felix says. “Picky eater, huh.”

“I usually don’t try that hard. I don’t really care if I eat or not. I’m not hungry usually,” I say, the words spilling out. “I eat because my dad wants me to.”

“Celeste, can you answer me a question?” Felix asks. His eyes actually look soft, not evil and emotionless like normal.

I nod.

“Why don’t you want anyone to know about your akuma issue last night?” he says, frowning. “People would want to help.”

“Because- because,” I say, searching. “Because I don’t want to come off as some weakling. I don’t want people to see me struggling like that. And I don’t want to go back to the hospital.”

“You’re not weak,” Felix says curtly. “If you were weak, you’d be akumatized twice now.” I turn to him, my lips parting in surprise, and he shrugs. “It’s true.”

“Thanks,” I say. He groans.

“Don’t thank me for stating a fact. God. Just go get back in bed and I’ll bring you a goddamn smoothie or some shit.” He turns to leave, then whips his head around. “Do you know how fucking terrifying it was to walk in and see your blood everywhere and to see you on the floor? Do you have any fucking idea? The shit I remember from my dad?” He’s shaking. “You really think you’d be  _ weak _ to accept help?”

“No,” I say. “No, that’s not it, that’s not it at all, Felix-”

“I thought you were trying to die,” he spits. “My dad tried to, you know. A similar situation, except I was trying to find a cough drop and I walked in and found him bleeding out on the bathroom floor. Do you have any idea?” He’s standing over me now, seething with anger. “Do you have any  _ fucking  _ idea?”

“No,” I say, shaking my head, backing up into the table. “No, Felix, no, I’m so sorry.”

All at once, the anger leaves him, just as suddenly as it arrives. “You- you better get back to bed,” Felix says, his eyes shuddering shut over the window to his soul. He’s as blank as he used to be.

I nod, scared to say more, and I pass him on the way out of the room, making my way back to my bed and climbing into the sheets. I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. My heart is racing, and I feel dizzy again. God, can’t these dizzy spells go away?

The door opens. “That was quick,” I say softly, but I look up and it’s Nathalie. “Oh.”

“Oh is correct,” she says, her eyes narrowing. “How are you today, Celeste?” Her eyes dart to my wrist.

“Oh, I’m just dandy,” I say, pasting on a sickly sweet smile. “You two need to get better at first aid, though. I was still bleeding when I woke up!” I give a little giggle, the fakest thing I’ve ever heard. I love it. “I do believe I ruined your sheets.” I pout. “Sorry.”

“Yes, I do believe our first aid needs to be. . . remedied,” Nathalie says. “You seem to be in good spirits, though.”

“Oh, fabulous,” I say. “I just adore lying for you two.”

“No one knows?”

“No one knows, hence the lying. You might need your ears checked, Nathalie.” I shake my head in mock disappointment. “I think listening is an important quality in an assistant.”

“I should go let Gabriel know how you’re doing,” Nathalie says curtly. She turns and vanishes from the room.

Felix comes in minutes later. “Smoothie,” he says. I take it from him. He sits down at the edge of my bed without an invitation.

“What book were you looking for last night?” I ask, sipping the smoothie. Dear god, this is powdery as hell. The man took the protein powder suspicion too far. I try not to cough.

“Oh, just this biography,” Felix says, waving it off.

“Might as well take it now,” I say, choking down another sip. I set the cup on the nightstand, trying not to gag. Felix doesn’t notice as he plucks a book from my shelf, nodding.

“Thanks,” he says, gesturing with it. We sit in silence for a moment before he gets up and walks out without a word. I scoff. Typical. I decide to take a shower now and wash off the dried blood that remains on my body. It’s a relaxing shower, and then I blow-dry my hair and rewrap my wrist and then I’m bored again.

I pick up my phone, scrolling through it for just a little bit before seeing a new text. Frowning, I click on the bubble. It’s Luka.

  * hey! i’m out front whenever you’re ready.



“The hell?” I say, turning to my clock. I still have two hours. I check the time on my phone and curse vividly. The clock’s wrong. The goddamn clock is wrong.

I jerk myself out of bed, panicking. I test Luka a hasty ‘five minutes!’ and then I’m yanking off my pajamas and throwing on those leggings from yesterday and I’m realizing my sweater smells like blood. Why does it smell like blood? I have no idea. So I can’t wear a tank top with no sweater and I’m standing here in a t-shirt and no bra and shit what bra will I wear? Will I wear a bra? I don’t know, I was supposed to have an hour to figure this out!

I dig through my drawers and find a bralette and that seems comfortable so I put it on so now I’m wearing leggings and a bralette. Leggings and a bralette! This is a terrible date outfit! I want to scream and punch the floor but instead I decide to stay calm and I find this one random lavender sweater that I’ve worn once, and it was a pain in my ass because the neck hole was big enough for the sweater to attempt to escape off my shoulder every two minutes, but hell. I’m wearing a fucking bralette and the straps are lacy and cute so I guess this is a date outfit now?

I throw on the sweater and run to the bathroom, trying for two seconds to do the adorable braid I had yesterday but eventually giving up. I just grab two pieces from the front instead and I pull them into the back and clip them with this one random purple clip I have that’s star-shaped, and I put on mascara and look in the mirror and decide  _ yup this is as good as we’re going to get. _ So I run out the door, turning around seconds later when I realize that I have no shoes or deodorant so I grab my deodorant because shit I’m nervous and I’m going to sweat. I take a moment, debating Converse or combat boots? I eventually pick my black high-tops, deciding that I look like shit but I don’t really care at this point. I’m sprinting out the door after this, my phone tucked into my waistband, and I make it to the entrance hall and run smack into Felix. I mean  _ smack  _ into Felix.

“What the hell?” he spits. “Rest, for fuck’s sake!”

“Date,” I say, out of breath. “Sorry.” I lean on the wall, trying to blink away the dizzy spell. “Wow. Jesus. Holy shit.” It clears and I give a mocking, two-fingered salute to Felix. “Gotta meet Luka.”

“I still don’t trust him,” Felix says.

“That only makes me like him more,” I call over my shoulder, and then I’m out the door and running down the steps and Luka’s there with his bike. “I’m so sorry,” I say, still out of breath. “My clock is broken. I thought I still had hours.”

“No matter,” Luka says. He holds out the purple helmet. “You look cute.”

“Thanks,” I say, blushing. “You’re not bad yourself.” He’s got another band tee, of course, but instead of the teal hoodie, he’s wearing a black-and-teal flannel, and oh my goodness is it attractive.

He smiles slowly, and I lose myself in his eyes again. “You ready?” he says. He holds out his hand, his eyes twinkling.

And with a smile, I take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, i love each and every comment with my whole heart. :)


	22. luka wants to know more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 200 hits! that makes me really freaking psyched. :D
> 
> y'all, i've wanted to write this chapter since chapter one tbh, and it was sooooo much fun to write. i genuinely loved every second of it. i really hope you enjoy it, because this will not be the last chapter of this variety. ;)
> 
> ALSO NOTICE THIS CHAPTER IS LUKA'S POINT OF VIEW

She climbs onto my bike, her arms wrapping around my waist the way they always do. I pat her arm, so cleverly hidden in her sweater, and note how tiny it is. How tiny she is. I know in my head that she’s small, but it still takes me off guard every time. Her head leans against my back, and I feel the smooth helmet. I value her safety, yes, but I’d rather feel the warmth of her skin.

“To Andre’s,” I say. “You holding on tight?”

“Yup!” she says, her voice like bells. I kick off from the curb and start pedaling, feeling her arms tighten around my waist. While we travel, I ask her, “So what happened yesterday?” I wasn’t mad about the date being canceled. I was more worried, worried about her, worried about the distress I heard in her voice. Worried about Felix, who Juleka had to put together a school project with and who she now hates.

“I- I’ll tell you when we stop,” Celeste says, her voice stammering the way it does when she’s unsure of herself. “Promise.”

“Is anything wrong?” I ask, my fingers tightening on the handlebars. Juleka says I need to be more cautious when it comes to the people I care about. I’ve already been akumatized once because someone I loved was upset; I can’t have it happen again.

“No, no,” she says, with a nervous laugh. “I just don’t want to have to yell it to you over your shoulder.” I nod, figuring that’s a reasonable explanation. My fingers loosen on the handlebars. I painted my nails yesterday morning for our date, and already one is chipped. The index finger on my left hand. I try to ignore it as we ride.

We arrive at the bridge where Andre’s cart is located today- I checked on the way here. I let her climb off first, then get off the bike myself, taking her helmet and hanging it on one of the handlebars. Her eyes are wide, searching the whole bridge, capturing it in her grey gaze. I gently rub her shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah!” she says, snapping her head back around. “Sorry. Zoned out for a second, I guess.”

“No issue,” I say, and my hand slides down her shoulder, her bony shoulder, and it takes her hand, my fingers lacing between hers to hold on tightly. I gently tug on her, and she follows me, walking to Andre’s cart.

“Oho!” Andre says upon our arrival, “I do believe it’s Mr. Couffaine and his lovely lady, again!” I see her bristle slightly at the possessive and decide to step in.

“Celeste Vasseur, Andre,” I say. “She’s no one’s lady, correct?” My eyes meet hers and she looks almost confused. “I just happen to have the privilege of spending time with her.” She softens, chuckling and elbowing me.

“Well, Miss Vasseur,” Andre says, “it’s a pleasure to be introduced. You two would like some ice cream?”

“Why else would we be here?” I say, and he chortles, making us a cone.

“Here you go,” he says, handing it to us. It’s a purple scoop on top of a blue one. “Blueberry,” he says to Celeste, “for the hair of someone you fancy, and lavender,” he says to me, “for her favorite color.”

“How did you know that?” Celeste says, her voice tilting upwards like a melody. “My favorite color.”

Andre chortles again. “I just know, my dear.” He waves us off, and I lead her to a bench, sitting down and handing her a spoon.

“He’s a strange man,” she says. “I think I like him, though.”

“He’s supposed to be Paris’ sweetheart maker,” I say. “His ice cream brings people together.”

“And what about us?” she asks, looking up at me through her dark lashes. “Is he going to make us sweethearts?”

I stay quiet for a moment, trying to decide how forward I’d like to be. “If he doesn’t make us sweethearts,” I say softly, taking her under the chin and tilting her face up to see her clearly, “I certainly will.”

“Will you, now?” she whispers. I nod, and she flushes madly, her cheeks turning a brilliant pink. I take a spoonful of ice cream and place the spoon between her parted lips, just to see how much redder she’ll get. She complies, though unwillingly. Then she takes her own spoonful and holds it up to me. I gladly go along with it.

We feed each other the rest of our sweet treat, oblivious to the world, and then she stands and looks over the river, and I watch her, see how the wind blows her hair. I look over the bridge, seeing the locks adorning the railing that declare love was once here, even if some of the locks are only there because someone lost a key.

I walk up behind her, hugging her from behind because I just want to be close to her. “The park?” I murmur into her ear. She nods, and I feel a shiver come over her body, but I don’t think she’s cold, I think she was just hugged from behind and I think she likes me more than she cares to admit. That sounds stuffed-up, but I can see it in her eyes. We have a connection, something between us, that I haven’t felt since Marinette.

I leave my arm around her, pulling her along with me. She laughs, leaning into me. “I really like this flannel,” she says, letting the fabric slip through her fingers.

“I’m glad,” I say.

“And is the shirt Jagged Stone?” Celeste says, letting her fingers trail down my t-shirt, tipping her head up to look at me.

I smile. “Of course. You won’t catch me wearing Clara Nightingale or XY on a date, after all.”

“You’re a Clara fan?”

“Not particularly,” I say. “I mean, I know her stuff and I’m in a music video she filmed here. But Jagged will always be my favorite.”

“What about XY?” she asks innocently. My blood boils at the name.

“He’s a dick,” I answer curtly. “I’ll tell you the story some time.” She raises her eyebrows at that but doesn’t press further as we put our helmets back on and climb back onto my bike. I kick off from the ground and pedal, quickly, towards the park. We discuss music tastes on the way over- she likes Jagged Stone the best of the three, like me.

I pat an open spread of grass. “Sit,” I say. “You’re not allergic to grass, are you?” I forgot a blanket. Silly me. Across the way, the carousel spins and children play. People mill about the fountain and sit on benches, but that all seems so stiff to me, and this girl makes me think she wants freedom, rather than a bench under a tree.

“No, not at all,” Celeste says, tucking her feet under her as she sits. She lets her head flop backward, sunshine dancing across her face.

“So what happened yesterday?” I say softly, my hand seeking hers in the grass. She laces her fingers through mine as children laugh, leaning her head on my shoulder.

“You know I can resist an akuma?” she says softly.

I nod. “Yes, of course. I visited you in the hospital.”

She sighs. “I shouldn’t be telling you.” She pulls her head off my shoulder and looks me in the eyes. “You can’t tell a soul. And I mean a  _ soul _ .”

“Promise,” I say, releasing her hand to wrap my arm around her because she looks terrified, scared out of her mind. “Swear on my life.”

“Okay,” she says, leaning back on me. I can almost feel her shake. “Gabriel wanted to find out what makes me different. So he’s been doing tests on me. And one of them was yesterday.”

“Why yesterday?” I ask. “Couldn’t you ask him to reschedule?”

“No,” she says, laughing. “He gets whatever the fuck he wants, and if I don’t go along with his plans he blacklists my dad, makes it impossible for him to get a job here. He’d kick us out of France.” She turns to me again, her grey eyes fierce. “He’d take me away from my mom.”

“I’m so sorry about your mom,” I say, hugging her tightly. Juleka informed me after we first met about Celeste’s mother, and it kills me to know she has such a loss in her life. “I’m so, so sorry, Celeste.” She doesn’t say anything, and I stay quiet too until I think back to what she just said. “Wait- what do you mean, ‘he gets whatever he wants’?”

She sniffs. “He takes blood. A lot of blood.” She’s shaking now- it’s slight, but it’s a shake. “He does it, too, not a doctor or anyone and I resisted and he threatened me.” I stiffen, trying to fight off the negative emotions. Stay calm, Luka.

“You passed out?” I ask her, knowing her answer. She nods. “So you couldn’t go.”

“Yeah,” she says quietly.

“Does he- does he take anything else?” I ask, fearing she’ll say he’s trying to abuse her. She sniffs then, and I instantly want to punch Gabriel Agreste in the face.

“He took my skin,” she whispers. Holding up her wrist. Her bandaged wrist, hidden from the world. That rat bastard. “The burned part and the clean.”

“Celeste,” I say, my heart breaking. She squeezes my arm.

“Don’t freak out,” she says, her voice cracking. “Please, please don’t bring an akuma here. He’ll find out I told you.”

I don’t know how to react. I really don’t. I try to breathe. I used to have a therapist who said to breathe. So I breathe, the way she taught me, thinking happy thoughts, like Celeste and Juleka and my guitar. Celeste. Celeste.

I grab her and hug her, pulling her tight to my chest, squeezing this tiny girl for all she’s worth, which is a lot to me, letting me be her armor. She stiffens at first, taken off guard, and then she moves closer to me, pulling herself into my lap and curling up into me, and we stay that way for a moment, the two of us entangled, before I pull away. “I have to play you a song.”

“On what?” she says. I thought ahead, though, and I go over to a bush where I stashed my guitar on the way to her house, pulling it out. She laughs, genuine surprise in her eyes, and she’s still laughing when I sit down, holding the guitar gently, tenderly because I plan on telling her everything through its song.

“You ready?” I say, barely breathing. She nods, her gaze never breaking from my own eyes.

And then I begin to play.

The song starts off sad and slow, sad and slow like how my life before her seems now. Before this girl came into my life, a rainbow on the darkest day. I pick it up, making it tentative, but slow, the same way I realized I was falling for her. I’m Luka Couffaine, and I don’t do things halfway. I fell for this girl completely and irrevocably, against my knowledge and power. I pick up the tempo again, making it the patter of my heart when I see her walking over after school, giving it the skips I feel when she laughs or waves or smiles. I play the joy of seeing her snap at that Felix, play the spark I see in her veins. I play her the feeling of seeing her, crumpled on the sidewalk, unable to take another step. I play her the anger I felt when she told me of Gabriel’s plans. But I also play her the melody of the song she helped bring to life that made me fall in love- and yes, I do believe it is love- and the tune to her head on my back, her hand in mine. I play her my stupidity, my recklessness, the fact that I’m completely smitten with her after only two weeks. And finally, I end it with a hopeful, soft tune of the hope that we’ll go far, that we won’t die like Marinette and I did. I play her the hope in my heart that she feels at least partly this way about me, and when I finish, when I place the guitar back in its case and meet her eyes, I see that they’re filled with tears.

“Celeste,” I whisper. I don’t know what to say after that.

“Luka,” she whispers back. I don’t think she knows what to say either, but the world is in her eyes. She opens her mouth as though she’s about to say something, and then she closes it, and then she takes a deep breath and leans in and her lips brush mine. She pulls backward, just far enough for us to not touch, her eyes blinking curiously as they cradle mine. I press my forehead to hers, closing my eyes.

I’m not sure which one of us moved next, but our lips are together, touching, kissing softly. Her lips are soft and sweet, and my hand moves instinctively to reach around her back and pull her back into my lap, holding her to me while my other hand becomes tangled in her hair. I feel her hands reaching around me, resting gently behind my neck as she kisses me, her lips dancing across mine. Every touch, every kiss is a blind man searching for a way to see. I trace kisses up her cheek to her ear, then down to her neck, each one crying out for a way to know more about this girl, to become one with Celeste Vasseur. She lets out a breath of happiness, taking my chin in her silky soft fingers to bring my mouth back to hers, and I flop onto my back in the grass and let me lose myself in the simple act of kissing her.

“This is a public park!” someone gasps. “Young man, young lady!” We both jerk back to ourselves, staring at an old woman who looks downright disgusted.

“So sorry, ma’am.” I call out, but I turn back to Celeste with a smile. She’s blushing madly as I sit up, crossing my legs criss-cross-applesauce and lifting her into my lap. “Want to continue at my place?”

“I’d love to,” she says softly, her voice filled with joy. “Shall we?”

I pull her to her feet, tugging her along behind me, grabbing my guitar as we run. We reach the bike, and I turn back, and she’s pale, pale as a sheet.

“Celeste,” I say, leaning the guitar against the fence and grabbing her hands. “You okay?”

“Dizzy,” she says, her voice a shell of what it was a moment ago. “All of a sudden.” She lifts her hand to her head, squeezing her eyes shut. I release her hand, letting her press her temple as I pull her into my body and kiss her forehead.

“I’ll take you home,” I murmur. She looks up at me, her eyes wide and shocked, but I can tell she doesn’t feel up to anything anyway. “We’ll do this another day.”

“Sorry,” she says, leaning into me and wrapping her arms around me. “I don’t know what these are.”

“You need to go home and rest,” I say. “Really. We can pick up where we left off at any time.” I squeeze her tightly. “Do you feel any better enough to ride with me, or do you want me to call a cab?”

“I feel a bit better,” she says. I buckle her helmet for her, giving her my guitar to put on her back, and then I climb onto my bike and give her a hand up. We don’t speak on the way home, but it’s not an awkward silence. It’s the silence of two people who simply wish to touch, two people for whom words are merely cumbersome. I get back to her home quickly, letting her off, kissing her hand as she steps off the bike.

“Till we meet again,” I say, taking her guitar and helmet.

“Until next time,” she agrees. I pull her in close to give her one last kiss- warm and soft and sweet and careful. She holds onto me for a moment longer, then waves to me, waves a goodbye as she slips inside the gate.

I wave her goodbye as well.

Until next time.


	23. expecting a lot of me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're still reading this, comment if you're team adrienette or team lukanette :)

I close the door quietly, checking my watch. It’s a little after five. I have a couple hours before torture time. Even though now that I think of it, I suppose dinner is a paltry torture compared to my quality time with Gabriel.

I lean against the door, my fingers touching my lips. Wow. Wow. I just kissed- hell, I just made out- with Luka Couffaine. In a park. In the sunshine. And we were yelled at by a grandma.

That was the best first date ever.

“Hey, Celeste!” Adrien says, emerging from his room. “How’s it going?” He’s got a bag thrown over his shoulder and appears to be on his way out of the house.

“Great,” I say, my voice breathy. “I just had my date.” I smile at him, too happy to even think about anything.

“Wow,” Adrien says. “A good one, I’m guessing?” He gives me an easy smile, running his hand through his hair. I nod, closing my eyes, savoring the memory.

“Where are you off to?” I ask. He shrugs.

“Hanging out with Nino. Don’t tell my dad, if you see him.” He clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m off, then.”

“See you later,” I say, and when he leaves I go back to my room, where Eikka flies out of my pillows immediately.

“Girl, you have got to be faster. Like, way faster.” She rolls her eyes. “I had to wait for that whole conversation to end.”

“You’re in a good mood,” I say, stretching my arms over my head. “You’re not asleep. I doubt any kwami sleeps as much as you.”

“None of them do, except the ones in that Miracle Box,” Eikka says. She shudders. “I cannot  _ imagine  _ being stuck in there. Goodness.”

“You were stuck in your little box for years,” I note. “Must be nice to have company in the Miracle Box, at least.”

“I prefer solitude, darling.” Eikka turns up her beak. “Anyway, that date was certainly something. That Luka is quite forward.”

“I kissed him first, you know.” I flop onto my bed, curling up and looking at her. “Was that too forward?”

Eikka sniffs. “He certainly seemed to enjoy it.” She sighs. “What on earth will you do with all this free time?”

“I might make an edit,” I say. “I finished all my homework during the week, so I don’t have anything there.”

“Or. . .” Eikka says, trailing the word out. “You could go and get a damn practice session in out there.” She nods to my window. “Go out, take a look around, practice falling on your wings without them falling off.”

“You really think I need it,” I say, “don’t you?”

“It can’t hurt,” Eikka says. “Make a lap and come back.” She flies to the window, undoing the latch with her kwami magic.

I stare at it for a moment, then shake my head. “I should, but I ought to take it easy. I was dizzy on the date, remember?” Something occurs to me. “Were you even there? Where would you have hidden?”

“I stayed out of sight,” Eikka says. “I hid under your hair.” She shudders. “Lucky for me, I hid in a tree when you got to the park. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near there when you two went at it.”

“Eikka,” I sigh, blushing. “I’m going to take a nap now, if that’s cool.”

“I’ll join you,” she says, burrowing into pillows. We both close our eyes, curling up into the warmth of a bed, and we both fall asleep, completely at ease and peaceful.

That is, until Felix barges in.

“Did you even bother knocking?” I say blearily, sitting up slowly. “Because I feel like we’ve been over this.”

“Dinner is in fifteen minutes, and no, I did not knock.” Felix rolls his eyes. “You lost knocking priviledges when I knocked yesterday and you told me to go away even though you were lying on the floor in a pool of your own blood.” He clears his throat. “Speaking of blood, when’s the last time you cleaned the wound?”

“This morning,” I say, rolling out of bed and strolling to my bathroom. I begin trying to force a brush through my hair, coaxing out the tangles. Felix follows me in, even though I certainly didn’t invite him in. He has a roll of gauze in his hand. I take one look and groan. “I can function on my own, you know.”

“It’s easier if I help you,” Felix says. “Besides, we never discussed what you’d do if I didn’t tell a soul about the whole blood incident.”

“What I’d do?”

“Ah ah ah,” Felix says, holding a finger up to my lips to shush me. I resist the urge to bite it. “I do believe you owe me a favor.” He raises one eyebrow and begins to unwrap my wrist.

“A favor,” I say dryly, regretting everything. I should have bled out on the damn carpet. “I’m not that kind of girl, Felix.”

“No- no!” Felix objects, his face one of disgust. “God, no.” He shudders. I can’t decide if I should be offended or not. “I want a date with one of your friends.” He gets a damp towel and dabs at the wound to clean it.

“One of my- Felix!” I say, already hating where this is going. “I have friends, yes, but if I set you up with one of them, I’m not going to have any anymore!” He rolls his eyes, drying off my damp skin. “Besides, if you just say ‘one of them’ that’s the biggest douche move I’ve ever seen.”

“Oh, I have a preference,” Felix says, unrolling gauze. “I did the project with her. Juleka.”

I laugh. “Juleka is dating Rose, Felix.”

His jaw drops. “I thought they were just friends!”

“Ask Adrien at dinner. I’m not one hundred percent sure, but I’ve got a good hunch.” I chuckle as he finishes wrapping my wrist up. “Guess you’ll have to find another way to cash in your favor.”

“I’ll come up with something,” Felix says, patting my newly wrapped wrist. “There. Good as new.”

“Not really, but thanks, I guess.” I swallow, then something occurs to me. “That’s not a favor there, is it?”

“No, no,” Felix says with an evil chuckle, waving me off. “Not at the moment, anyway.” He holds my bathroom door open for me, and then we walk to dinner together. I’m not sure what happened, but something about me bleeding on the floor managed to soften him, make him slightly less of an insufferable prick. Slightly. I never said he was cured.

We walk up to the dining room together, when Amelie comes down the stairs and sees us. Walking together. Not talking. Literally doing absolutely nothing. But the fact that we’re walking together makes her furious.

“Felix!” she gasps, running forward and grabbing him and pulling him back to her. “Felix, what the hell are you doing?”

“I was walking,” he says, but she turns on me, as she always does.

“You stupid worm, get away from my boy,” she spits. “Disgusting.”

“I don’t have a disease, you know,” I say, recoiling. “And I’m allowed to walk, am I not?”

“Not when it’s anywhere near my son, you’re not!” she shrieks. I blink, trying to hold back the negative emotions. Mainly anger, and shame, and the tiny urge to fuck with her some more, just to poke her buttons. “You’re no good for him, no good for anyone!”

“Explain to me what I did to piss you off, again?” I say, hands on my hips. “Really. Because I’m confused here.”

“You- you  _ exist _ ,” she snarls. “That’s enough.”

“Listen to yourself!” I say, laughing. “I mean, god! You’re being ridiculous!”

“I’m not being ridiculous at all, you disgusting creature!” Amelie shouts. Her face is pinched and red, and she opens her mouth to say something right as Felix yells, “Celeste! Akuma behind you!”

I scream, ducking, and the purple butterfly flies right over me. Amelie laughs. “Cowardly brat, you are. You deserve the pain, the torture, you nasty little creep.” She cackles. I watch the akuma go over me- and it keeps going. Felix is slowly backing up, away from Amelie and me, but his eyes are solidly on the akuma, and on his mother, who’s too busy laughing at my fear to notice the akuma land on her ring.

“Mother!” Felix cries, but a ring of purple light surrounds her. Her face goes blank, and I know she’s listening to Hawkmoth.

“Felix, we have to run,” I say. “Run now!” I grab his hand, pulling him, since he appears to be frozen in shock. Upstairs, Adrien comes out of his room. “Adrien, stay in!” I yell. “Amelie’s akumatized!” His eyes widen, and he ducks back in his room as Felix finally moves his feet and the two of us flee outside. I release his hand as we sprint down the stairs.

“We have to get out of here,” I say, wheezing. “Before she finds us.” We through the open gate as a scream sounds from inside the house- but it’s monstrous, barely human. Felix’s face goes pale as we swerve a corner.

People jump out of our way as we run. Felix yells, “Akuma!” and they all scatter, too, and my phone, tucked in my waistband, lets me know that someone sent out the akuma alert. We make it down three blocks before I start seeing spots and slow down.

“We need to hide,” Felix says, seeing me. He grabs my arm and pulls me into an alley, pressing us up against the wall. “You okay?”

“I need a moment,” I say, and I stagger over to a dumpster, collapsing behind it so I’m obscured from the street, my head between my knees as another dizzy spell hits me. “These damn dizzy spells.”

Felix pulls in a sharp intake of breath and joins me behind the dumpster. “She’s here,” he hisses to me. “She just walked down the street.” He pauses. “She turned the people into worms.”

“Worms?” I whisper.

“Worms,” he confirms. “She’s the same, but her skin’s all silver, and her hair looks metallic and it’s this weird gold. Her ring’s gold, too, and her outfit’s all shiny.” He seems disturbed by his mother’s new look.

Suddenly we hear a strange, metallic voice. “Felix, my darling, where are you?” It turns hard very quickly. “Are you hanging out with one of these good-for-nothing  _ worms _ ?” She seems to soften again, and says in a purr, “None of them are good enough for my boy, anyway, right, my darling?”

“Stay quiet,” I say, putting my hand on his arm. “We have to run again.” I go to push myself off the ground, but my head spins again. “Scratch that. You’re running.”

“Celeste!” Amelie yells. “Where are you, worm? You’ll pay!” Her voice is guttural, roaring into the alley and bouncing off the walls. “You have my son! You’ll pay.”

“You run,” I say slowly. “I will distract her.” I blink, trying to clear the spots from my vision. It doesn’t work.

“She’ll turn you into a worm and squish you!” Felix hisses. “No way.”

“You don’t meet my standards, Celeste,” Amelie roars. “That’s why Gold Standard has to make sure you see where you stand. Far below.”

“Felix, you have to run, it sounds like she’s getting closer,” I gasp. “Please, save yourself.”

“She won’t hurt me,” Felix says. “She’s my mother, Celeste. Besides, you can’t run.”

“She’s not your mother anymore,” I say softly. “Felix, she’s a villain now. And I may not be able to run, but I can buy you time.” Eala won’t show up to this one, but Ladybug and Chat Noir can handle it.

“Celeste,” he murmurs. “She’ll kill you.”

“Ladybug will fix it,” I say, taking a deep breath. “Go. Back to the house, she won’t expect it.” He’s quiet for a moment, and I speak again. “I’ll only get us both caught.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, and he leans his head on my shoulder. We sit there for a moment, in silence, before someone hisses.

“Hey! Look up!”

I jump, and we both look up. Chat Noir has his staff extended out to both of the walls of the alley and is perched on it like a bird on a telephone wire, his tail waving below. “Chat Noir!” Felix says.

“The one and only,” he says, swinging down to us. “You might say I’m  _ purr _ -fect for the job.”

“Is she right there?” I whisper. “Right outside?”

“She’s close, but not yet,” Chat says. “If I get you onto the rooftops, can you run?”

“I can,” Felix says. “She’s having a dizzy spell, though.” He turns to me. “Any better?”

I try to push myself up again and fail. “Nope,” I gasp. “Nope, no better.” My head constricts, and I lose myself for a moment, my head flopping on my neck like an inflatable man in front of a car dealership.

When I manage to see again, Felix is standing and Chat is reaching down to me, scooping me up into his arms. I lace my fingers behind his neck, too tired to complain. Chat grabs onto his staff, Felix holding on tight to Chat, and shoots us upward. I groan, leaning my head into Chat’s chest.

We land on the roof, and Chat lays me down. “She’s on the ground for the time being,” he says. “I’ll keep her busy.” He jumps off, spinning his staff like a helicopter blade. Felix drops to my side, and I try to push him away, but oh my god this is the worst dizziness yet and I can’t see straight.

“ _ Celeste! _ ” Gold Standard yells. “You’re on the roof, you brat.” I don’t see what happens, but I see Chat Noir go flying away and I see her jump onto the roof and Felix is right, she’s all metallic, and she points her ring at me, and it starts to glow, and I close my eyes. My head is pounding anyway, so I figure I won’t mind being a worm. 

I hear Felix yell, “Mother!”

I hear a high-pitched whizzing noise, and I hear Gold Standard shriek, and I open my eyes, and she’s pinned down via yo-yo. “Chat!” Ladybug yells. “Get them out of here!”

“My son,” Gold Standard hisses. “My beautiful son, and that worthless tramp.”

Chat grabs me before I can attempt to throw a punch at Gold Standard, and he grabs his staff and whisks me away. I hold onto him tightly again. “Where are we going?” I say, squeezing my eyes shut.

“I’m taking you to your home,” Chat says. “It’d be the last place she’d look, right? You and Amelie live together, I believe.”

“Yeah,” I say. He jumps around some more, and the constant up-and-down is nauseating. Then I feel him gently lowering me into a chair, and I realize I’m in the parlor. I open my eyes. There’s a hole in the roof.

“I have to go back for Felix,” Chat says. “But stay here. Stay safe.” He vanishes before I can say anything.

“Eikka,” I gasp. She flies out from under my hair. “Eikka, I don’t think I can transform.”

“What do you want to do, then?” Eikka says. “You have a duty.”

“Can’t I tell them I was wormed?” I say. 

She frowns. “I guess it’d work,” she says. “But this can’t keep happening.”

“It won’t, Eikka,” I say, pulling her down so she can sit on my shoulder while I pull my phone out, opening a livestream. “I promise.”

And so I watch the fight from the safety of an armchair, unable to move or stand, wondering how something could go so wrong so quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think! :)


	24. an interview transcript

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, so i tried something new here. i had fun with this chapter! i like trying differen viewpoints and styles, so this probably won't be the last transcript you see. :)

[ _ the following information is an excerpt from the transcript of a recorded interview conducted at 4:31 PM on Monday, January 24 by Alya Cesaire, interviewing Eala.] _

_ [BEGIN TRANSCRIPT] _

ALYA: Hey, Eala! Glad you could make it!

EALA: No problem! I almost missed your invitation on your blog, but I’m glad I saw it.

A: So you read the blog, then?

E: Of course! Ladybug endorses it, doesn’t she?

A: She does- she’s the best, isn’t she?

E: She really is.

A: So tell me about yourself, Eala. Is that how you pronounce it?

E: It’s actually Irish- it’s a name that has some sentimental meaning to me. Anyway, since it’s Irish, it’s not pronounced  _ ee-a-la  _ or  _ ee-la _ , but  _ Ah-la _ .

A: Cool! ( _ paper rustles _ ) So, Paris wants to know. Where have you been? Why show up now?

E: I didn’t come into possession of the swan miraculous until very recently, to be honest. Imagine my surprise when I went to put on this cute necklace and a kwami flew at me.

A: Must have been shocking.

E: I fell off my bed, actually.

A: ( _ laughter) _ So, what’s your role in this team? Ladybug and Chat Noir have been holding their own for years now, so where do you fit in?

E: I actually ask myself that question a lot, to be honest. They’re just so good at everything! I’m still learning. ( _ swallowing noise _ ) Um, so what I do is a lot of just scoping out the situation- I’ve got more mobility than the two of them with the wings here.

A: How does that works?

E: Well, Ladybug’s yo-yo is great, but she moves in broad strokes, and she can’t make fine turns. Chat Noir can make finer adjustments than her with his pogo-stick thing he does ( _ laughter _ ) but he can’t move as broadly. He does that helicopter thing, though, which lets him move more. But with the wings I can move quickly and turn quickly, and I just have a wider area where I can move, you know? So Ladybug gets me to scope out the situation before she runs in there, so we can get more information.

A: And after you check everything out? Then what?

E: Distraction? I guess? Yeah, distraction. If they’re shooting something, I try to annoy them so they come at me. And I try to block anything from hitting her. That’s the goal, you know- keep Ladybug safe so she can capture the akuma.

A: Do they ever come after you?

E: I think Hawkmoth would take my miraculous if given the chance, but he isn’t actively searching for it, so he lets me be for now. It works for me, because then I get to focus entirely on protecting the two of them.

A: You had to fight off Chat Noir a week ago. How was that?

E: Utterly terrifying. ( _ both laugh _ ) Thank god he’d already used his Cataclysm, or I’d be toast. They’ve both got years of fighting experience on me, and I couldn’t escape. Luckily Ladybug ended it and saved me, otherwise I would probably still be dead. ( _ swallow _ ) My issue is inexperience and the fact that I keep doing these crash-landings and knocking my wings off.

A: So are you now a permanent member of the the team?

E: I have no idea.

A: Really?

E: Genuinely no idea. We haven’t really talked about it. I mean, I have access to a superhero suit thing, so I’m going to use it when I see the need to, just to help out. I figure I’ll just do what I can to help.

A: What does this mean for the semi-permanent members of the team, like Reena Rouge and Carapace?

E: I think Ladybug’s still going to call on them when she feels the need to.

A: Like last night. Where were you then?

E: I really tried my best to help out, but I have a little health issue right now that prevented me from jumping in. I’m really pissed, though- I wanted to meet Reena Rouge! She seems so cool, and I was able to watch her. Her illusion thing is awesome. Why haven’t you done interviews with her or Carapace? I could only find videos of them and the others, but the two of them seem more prominent than the rest.

A: Since they don’t actually possess their miraculous, it’s difficult to interview them. Ladybug would have to give them the miraculouses on a separate date, and someone could track her, especially if I contacted them like you, via the blog, which anyone can see.

E: Makes sense. Ladybug’s great at keeping everyone safe.

A: So tell me about this health issue! What’s keeping you tied up?

E: Sorry, can’t say anything about my personal life at all. Nice try, though.

A: Had to try it.

E: Is that what that strange article was last week? The one where you told Paris I wasn’t to be trusted?   
A: I’m so sorry about that- I actually suspected my friend, since she had a couple little things that made me think the two of you were the same person. She told me otherwise, though. Sorry about the article. Hope you didn’t lose too many fans, but it had to be convincing.

E: What did you think we had in common?

A: You’re both small and pale and blonde, you know.

E: Oh, but isn’t Mayura blue? 

A: Yeah, I realize that now. The miraculouses change skin tones and hair all the time, I guess.

E: Besides, don’t I look more swan-like?

A: You certainly do. Speaking of swan-like, tell me everything about those wings. They’re fabulous, girl.

E: ( _ laughter _ ) They’re great- flying is super easy, to be honest. The only drawback is they fall out a lot, and once they’re detached, they become these little staffs, see? ( _ rustle _ ) And since they’re round, they roll. A lot. I kept losing them the other day when we were fighting Controller.

A: And your special power? What is it, again?

E: It’s, um- I can’t say it, or I’ll trigger it, and then we only have five minutes! ( _ laughter _ ) Here, can I write it down?

A: I mean, it’s ‘feather dance’ right?

E: Right!

A: Cool! Okay, so tell me about it.

E: It’s essentially a super-powerful gust of wind. Which helps for stuff like moving civilians out of the way, or disrupting a bunch of pigeons or rats.

A: You’ve encountered Mr. Pigeon?

E: I didn’t know he was also Mr. Rat until this morning! The guy needs to pick an animal. He said he’s transitioning. I like Mr. Pigeon better though, to be honest. I mean, there’s bird shit to deal with, but Mr. Rat’s harder to defeat.

A: So what’s some advice you have for an aspiring superhero?

E: Oh, I have no idea.

A: Surely you have something.

E: Be nice to people you meet. Everyone, everywhere. Do things to help each other out. You’ll make people happy, and that’ll make you happy, and that’ll make it harder for Hawkmoth to do his thing. And that’ll make my job easier! ( _ laughter _ )

A: Well, thanks for coming in, Eala. We’ll probably do this again sometime.

E: Oh boy. Um, thanks for having me! I don’t think I said anything too terrible.

A: Oh, you were great. Don’t worry about it.

E: Thanks, Alya. See you around!

_ (flapping wings) _

_ (click) _

_ [END TRANSCRIPT] _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think of the transcript style! if you hate it, tell me so i can make a note and not do it again lol


	25. a considerable favor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i didn't post yesterday, guys- but i'm back! we're getting back to daily posting (hopefully) (but actually let's keep going with one every day)

“Celeste!” someone screeches from across the courtyard. Holding on tight to my coffee, I look up and scurry over to Rose, who’s waving frantically with Juleka. I was going to make an edit, but apparently, now I’ll talk to them before school instead.

“There’s going to be a dance this weekend!” Rose squeals. “The Snow Ball!” She points at a giant, deep blue banner advertising the event.

“Should be fun,” Juleka says quietly. She gives Rose a smile and squeezes her hand. “You could go with Luka, Celeste.”

“Oh,” I say, the thought dawning on me. “I suppose we could.”

“You should tell him about it this afternoon at rehearsal,” Rose squeals. “You’re coming, right?”

“Maybe I will,” I say, and then Alya and Nino and Marinette come over and everyone starts chattering away as someone grabs my arm and drags me away. I object, slapping at the hand, but then I realize that it’s only Felix.

“Felix, what the hell?” I snap.

“There’s a dance,” he says, nodding at the banner.

“Yeah, I know. I can read,” I say, shaking my head. “What’d you drag me over here for, then?”

“You owe me a favor,” he reminds me, raising one eyebrow.

“Yeah, and-” I look at him, frowning. “No. Oh hell, no. There is no way.”

“You owe me!”

“If I even go to this dance, I have a date,” I snarl. “I’m not going with you.”

“That’s- that’s-” he says, his face twisted in repulsion. “No. Ew. That’s disgusting.”

I snort. “Thanks.”

“You know what I mean!” Felix says. “Not you. You need to get me a date for this whole thing. I can’t show up without anyone.”

I cross my arms. “You could just not show up.”

“No, no, my mother will insist.” Felix waves me off. I raise an eyebrow while I sip my coffee. “Besides, this is my chance to get Juleka.”

“She’s dating Rose.”

“I still don’t believe you. I think they’re just close.”

I motion to them. “They’re holding hands.”

“Very close.”

“Alix!” I call. She’s skating towards us anyway. I motion her over. “Felix has a question for you.”

“What’s up, buttercup?” Alix says. She pops her gum, crossing her arms as she takes in Felix.

“Are Rose and Juleka dating?” Felix asks, crossing his own arms. The two of them stare each other down for a moment.

Alix cackles. “You saw the banner?”

“Are they?” Felix says, accusatory.

She sticks out her tongue. “No need to be rude. And yes, they are.” She turns and skates away, calling over her shoulder. “You coming, Celeste?”

“Just a sec!” I call. I turn back to Felix, sipping my coffee again. “See?”

“Shut the fuck up,” he says, pouting. “Alright.” He taps his chin. “Any date, then. Just someone. Someone who I can show off to my mother, preferably.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” I say, rolling my eyes, and then I go off to rejoin the group, flipping him off over my shoulder for good measure.

“Celeste,” Marinette says, running up to me. “Celeste, you have to help me.”

“What?” I say. “What’s going on?”

“You have to help me get Adrien to ask me to the Snow Ball!” Marinette hisses. “Seriously, you have to!”

“What about Kagami?” I ask. “Isn’t he still hung up on her?”

“She’s gone,” Alya says, walking over to join the two of us. “He’ll need a date. He’s Adrien Agreste, after all.”

“Alright,” I say. “I’ll talk to him, see what I can do.” Marinette squeals and hugs me. I make a squeaking noise.

Later in class, we’re milling around discussing poetry. I walk up to Adrien, scooching past Chloe Bourgeois, and I drop into the seat next to him.

“I like how they used the descriptors here,” Adrien says, pointing to the poem. I nod, turning to him. 

“You see about the Snow Ball?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he says, leaning back on the chair. “What about it?”

“Are you going?”

“I thought I might,” he says. “Why?”

“Are you going to take anyone?” I say. “With Kagami out of town and all.”

“I haven’t really thought about it,” Adrien says. “Why, do you need someone?”

“No, if I go I’ll drag Luka,” I say. “I was just wondering if you were thinking about her.”

“I mean, yeah,” Adrien says. “Always.” He stares down at his paper. “We should get back to the worksheet.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, shaking my head. “I shouldn’t have brought her up.”

“No, no,” Adrien says, sighing. “I mean- just- god, do you have any idea how many girls asked me about this dance today?” He groans, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. “Chloe, Lila, some random girl I don’t even know!” He turns back to me, his green eyes pleading. “If I go at all, which let’s face it, my father won’t allow, I’d want to go with Kagami.”

“That sounds terrible.” I reach out and find his hand resting atop the desk, squeezing it gently. “I’m sorry for bringing it up again.”

“I don’t want to go with any of these girls,” he says, leaning close to me. “I only want her. I miss her.”

“I’m sorry,” I say for the third time. I look back at the worksheet, removing my hand from his to tap at the page. “I think the descriptors are great, too. ‘Crunchy’ is fantastic.” I look back at him, and he definitely looks distressed. He stares at me for a second, sitting back up and being the proper Adrien Agreste he’s been trained to be.

“I think that one’s my favorite.” He swallows, then gives me a half-smile. “But look at how he worded it here. . .”

“It’s probably not a good idea,” I say to Marinette as we walk to the boat after school. “He misses Kagami.”

“Kagami’s not here,” Marinette says. “He’s going to need a date if he even wants to go to the dance!” She sighs. “His dad will keep him home. He needs to go to more stuff with his friends, and all that.” She makes a little pouty face.

“But it’s up to him,” I say. “You don’t want to force him, do you?”

“Not force,” she says pensively. “Can’t I hint without actually asking him?”

I frown. “How do you plan to do that?”

“You have to ask Luka about it, right?” Marinette asks. “So do it within earshot.”

“Say it loudly and hope he asks you about it?” I say, raising an eyebrow. “Marinette, there’s no way that’ll work.”

“I have to try!” Marinette squeaks. “I’ve had this crush for too long.”

“What if he doesn’t ask you, or if you ask him and he says no?” I say. “Then what?” She’s quiet, so I sigh. “You have to try, Marinette, but if he doesn’t show any interest in you, you have to move on, girl!”

She sighs. “But it’s  _ Adrien. _ ”

“And you’re  _ Marinette _ ,” I say, nudging her. She giggles. “You deserve better than a guy who’d rather wait for a girl across the globe than ask you out here.”

“Really?”

“Of course.” I turn her towards me, stopping our walk. “If he doesn’t ask you, you get yourself another date.”

“I don’t know,” she says slowly.

“Maybe you’ll make him jealous,” I say, shrugging. “Then he’ll want to date you more.”

“Maybe,” she says, perking up a bit. “Okay, it’s a deal.” We turn back to the group and keep walking. The boat looms up ahead of us shortly, and we board slowly. As we’re all grouped in a cluster, Marinette widens her eyes at me. Sighing, I nod, looking up to find Luka coming up towards me.

“Hi,” I say as he nears. He breaks into a smile. God, I love that smile.

“Hey,” he says, his voice a river, with the same beauty and depth. He leans down and kisses me, his hands going to my waist, and I place mine on his shoulders and kiss him back and it’s several seconds of pure bliss.

“How are you?” he asks. “Feeling better?”

“Yes,” I say, when in truth the answer is “for now” but I don’t want to dump that on his head. “Hey, what’s your opinion of,” I say louder than I need to, looking around to make sure Marinette’s standing next to Adrien nearby, “school dances? There’s one on Saturday.”

“That depends,” Luka says, taking my hand. I smile without meaning to. “Would you be there?”

“I would indeed,” I say, laughing. “As your date, if you play your cards right.”

“Well then,” he says softly, leaning into me and making me giggle. “I suppose I don’t mind dances at all.” We sit there for a moment, looking into each other’s eyes.

“Celeste!” someone screeches and I stiffen, knowing exactly what arrogant twerp would be so interrupting. “I need you!”

“Felix,” I say, turning around. “Can it not wait?” I refuse to let go of Luka’s hand.

“No,” he says, narrowing his eyes. “It can’t.”

“I’m so sorry,” I say to Luka. “Really. I don’t know why he keeps following us here.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Luka says. “We ought to rehearse anyway.” He smiles. “I happen to already know about your dance. We’re playing a few songs.”

“That’s great!” I say. “So you’ll be there regardless.”

“Ah, but this way I’ll have someone to spend time with other than my sister and her girlfriend.” Luka smiles again, pulling away. I give him a little wave, and then my mood entirely shifts as I go to join Felix on the couch.

“You are horrible,” I say, crossing my arms.

“You kissed him,” Felix says. “You  _ kissed _ him.”

I roll my eyes. I want to sit criss-cross applesauce, but alas, I am wearing a dress. “I think we’ve established that I really don’t care what you think of him. In fact, your hatred of him only makes me like him more.”

“Oh, please,” Felix says. “You’re so  _ juvenile _ .”

“Really?” I say. “Insults? Really?” I huff out a breath of air, almost laughing. “Better go find your mom. I’m not sure if she’s called me  _ juvenile _ yet, but it can’t be long.”

“Don’t insult my mother,” Felix says through his teeth.

I scoff. “Really? Are you  _ serious _ ?” I stare at him, eyes wide. “I went to find a glass of water last night and she ran into me and called me a miserable tramp.”

“She’s adjusting.”

“She’s horrible!” I say, laughing. “Her hatred for me is so incredibly potent  _ she was akumatized, Felix _ !”

“That’s not her fault,” Felix says, turning up his nose. “It’s Hawkmoth’s.”

“You’re unbelievable,” I say, turning back to face the group.

He reaches over, grabs my chin, turns my head. “That’s what all the ladies say to me.”

“Ugh!” I say, scrunching my face and throwing his hand away from me. “You really expect me to set you up with one of my friends?”

“You owe me,” he says, his voice deadly serious. “Or else.”

“Fuck you,” I say, turning away again. I’m getting out my headphones right as Marinette plops down next to me.

“I asked him if he was going and he said he wasn’t originally planning on it, but now he’s going with the band,” Marinette says with a huff. “He didn’t ask me!”

“He wants Kagami,” I remind her. “Sorry, but you’re not going to get asked until he feels closure with her.”

“She’s all the way across the world!” Marinette says. “I’m doomed.” She flops onto her back. “Doomed!”

“You’ll be fine,” I say. We sit for a moment, listening to them practice, when someone in a hoodie and plaid leggings steps up to the boat, crossing onto the deck quickly.

“Adrien,” the person says. When he doesn’t respond, most likely unable to hear over the music, the person comes up to me. “Can you get him for me?”

“Who are you?” I ask. Marinette’s busy drawing and Felix looks as confused as I am. Now the band members are noticing the new addition, the music dying quickly. “Sorry, I’m new.”

“Oh,” the person says. They reach up and pull down their hood, revealing a girl with a round, freckled face and short black hair. “I’m Kagami.”

“Kagami!” Adrien calls out. He runs to her side, wrapping her in his arms, squeezing her tightly to his body.

“That’s Kagami?” I ask.

Marinette sighs. “That’s Kagami.”

We watch for a second more before the two of them begin to kiss. Marinette gives a sad sigh, turning to me. I stare into her strange blue eyes for a moment before I have a somewhat shitty solution to two problems.

“Felix, Marinette,” I say, gesturing from him to her. I stand up, leaving no obstruction between the two of the them. “Marinette, Felix. Congratulations. You’re each other’s dates to the Snow Ball.” 


	26. rising tensions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to my friend josie, who gave me a lot of inspiration for this chapter ;)

Kagami and Adrien break apart finally. She turns to Marinette. “Friend!” she says warmly, and reaches down to embrace Marinette. The two of them hug for a moment while Luka approaches my side.

“Friend?” I hiss to him. “Who is this girl? What’s her story?”

“She and Marinette are close,” Luka whispers. “They were good friends before Kagami left for Japan, even though Marinette has feelings for her boyfriend.”

“Interesting,” I say, staring at this girl who’s apparently intertwined here, despite being gone. Luka reaches around me, wrapping his arm around my waist. I let him.

“What brings you back to Paris?” Adrien says to Kagami. “I missed you. We all missed you.”

“The international fencing competition,” she says, raising an eyebrow. “Surely you guessed; you’re competing too, aren’t you?”

“I guess I didn’t want to get my hope up,” Adrien says, running a hand through his hair. “I look forward to competing against you.”

“I don’t expect to lose,” Kagami says, a mischievous smile on her face.

Adrien smiles warmly. “You never do.”

“Who are the new band members?” Kagami asks, nodding to Felix and me. “What do you play?”

“Felix Graham de Vanilly,” he says, jumping to his feet and extending his hand. “I’m not a member, merely here to help with design when I’m allowed, support my dear cousin Adrien, and keep an eye on our houseguest.” Kagami shakes his hand, her face blank, but her eyes searching the boat.

I step forward as well, but not with a handshake, with a wave, because a handshake seems so impossibly formal and I feel awkward. “Hi,” I say, awkwardly waving. “Celeste Vasseur, and I  _ also _ do not play an instrument. I help produce some stuff, I guess.” I turn to Felix. “And you’re not keeping an eye on me, because I can handle myself, thank you very much.”

“You need it.”

“I most certainly do not!”

“I beg to differ.” Felix raises an eyebrow, and I’m self-conscious of us squabbling loudly in the middle of everything. Usually, we’re on the side squabbling.

“Felix, for god’s sake. I’m my own person,” I say, seething.

“You need me,” he says. “Admit it.”

“I most certainly will not!” I say, laughing. “Back off.”

“Need I remind you of Saturday night?” he says, an evil glare in his eye.

“Leave it alone, Felix,” I snarl, afraid he’ll say something, and oh my god Adrien could hear and confront his dad and then I’d be out of the country. “Stop being so obsessive.”

“Not to mention, you’re still hanging out with this  _ freak _ ,” Felix growls, jabbing a finger at Luka. “You’re clearly asking for it-” He’s cut off rather abruptly when Luka steps forward and punches him. In the face. Everyone’s collectively gasped simultaneously, except for Juleka, who has a small smile.

“Luka!” I scream. “What- what-”

Felix straightens, turning to Luka, moving his jaw. “So we’re going to be like that? Really?”

“Leave her alone,” Luka says, his voice deadly calm. I reach up, touching his shoulder, but he shrugs me off. “Leave her alone, and leave my sister alone. She told me about your project. I won’t hesitate to hit you again.” I look to Juleka, and she looks back at me, her lips tight, and she shakes her head ever so slightly. Rose squeezes her hand. I turn back to Luka, who’s staring at Felix.

“Luka,” I say softly. “Luka?”

“Not now, Celeste,” he says, and Felix is smiling, then laughing. Openly laughing. “What’s so funny?”

“You really want to take me on?” Felix says, still laughing. “Really?”

“If you continue to antagonize the people I care about, then yes.” Luka’s voice is calm as it’s ever been, but it’s terrifyingly so.

Felix smiles, evilly. “I don’t think I’d like to fight you today.” He adjusts the cuffs of his shirt. “I think I ought to head home, but don’t be thinking that you’ve won, my dear Luka.” He looks up. “Celeste, you’re coming with me.”

“I’m not,” I say, stepping closer to Luka. Luka’s hand comes down on my shoulder possessively.

Felix’s lips curl upward. “Alright, then.” He crosses the bridge to get off the boat and walks across the street, pausing at the corner. He turns around, making direct eye contact with me. He’s not smiling anymore. My lips part as we stare at each other, Luka’s hand on my shoulder like a brand. Finally, he turns and strides away.

We stand in silence for a moment, before Rose turns back to Kagami. “Welcome home.”

Luka vanishes to his room, and I go to Juleka. “What did he do?” I say. “What the hell did he do to you?”

“He was a dick all day,” Juleka says flatly. “I came home crying.” She opens her mouth like she wants to add something but restrains herself. I debate asking her more, then decide I have to.

“Anything else?” I say carefully.

Her eye flickers to me, the other one hidden beneath her bangs. “He watched me change once.” She takes a deep breath. “Pulled the curtain open enough for himself to peek.”

“Disgusting,” I say, shaking my head. “God, I can’t believe I have to live with him.”

“I’m glad it’s not me,” Juleka says, frowning.

“I’m glad Luka punched him,” Rose chirps. She looks across the boat, where the others are talking quietly on the couches. “I think practice is over.”

“It’d have to be,” Juleka says. “Celeste, do you want to go after him, or should I?”

“I’ll do it,” I say. “You catch up with everyone.” She nods, and she and Rose go over to the group, sitting on the floor. I turn away from them and go into Luka’s room.

“Luka?” I say softly. He’s sitting at the edge of his bed, his feet dangling off the foot of the bed, his guitar laying across his lap. “Luka, are you okay?” His head is down, the teal tips of his hair hanging floppily in his face. He doesn’t move.

His hand twitches on the guitar string. I bite my cheek, climbing onto the bed behind him. I lean my head against his back. “Luka,” I say softly, but he still doesn’t move. “Thank you,” I murmur, closing my eyes. “Thank you for punching him. And standing up for me.” I smile on his back, but he still doesn’t respond.

“You don’t want to talk,” I say, judging by his lack of movement. “Do you want me to leave?”

He still doesn’t say anything but gives a tiny shake of his head. I blink, trying to think of what to do. I’m glad he finally moved, though.

“Do you want to play how you feel?” I ask, thinking of the guitar on his lap. I know Luka prefers music to words anyway. He gives the tiniest nod, and I sit up, giving him space.

He picks up the guitar, holding it gently, and then he turns around. Anticipating him, I press a pick with Jagged Stone’s face on it into his hand. He takes it and holds it bluntly, and then he attacks his guitar with such force that pure, unadulterated anger streams out of the strings. My breath stops as he goes after the strings, sounding like a screamy emo band’s guitarist for a minute and a half before he begins to transition into something sadder, softer, and then he stops entirely and abruptly, turning to face me. His eyes are full of emotion; though which ones, I cannot say.

“Luka,” I say softly. He sets the guitar down on the floor, turning his body around entirely. We stare at each other for a second, and I try to understand him through the look he’s giving me until he rushes forward, grabbing my shoulders and then his lips are on mine and these aren’t the soft, sweet kisses of the park; they’re not the tentative kisses of someone asking a question; they’re not the kisses of the boy afraid to hurt me. They’re hard, ferocious; they’re the wild kisses of demanding an answer, they’re fighting for me, grabbing for me. In a second I’m lying on my back on the bed and he’s lying on top of me, and then he flips me over so I’m on top of him, and my hands tangle through his hair and his are holding onto my waist.

He moves his mouth from mine and kisses his way across my face, finding my burnt earlobe and kissing it just as furiously, then making his way down my neck as he sits up, me in his lap, and he kisses his way to my collarbone and I tip my head back, letting a gasp of happiness escape me. I can’t help it, and I grab his head and bring his mouth back to mine, and I kiss him furiously and readily and he bites my bottom lip and I could die a happy death right here, right now.

“Celeste,” Luka murmurs, pulling back. “Have I told you how crazy I am for you?”

I chuckle, my hands slipping down his neck to play with his hoodie strings. “You may have mentioned it.” I flick my eyes back up to look into his. Wow, they're such a stunning shade of turquoise. I don't think I've really appreciated it until now.

“Well I am,” he says. “Crazy.” His lip curls upward into a goddamn sexy half-smile.

“Are you feeling better?” I whisper, almost afraid to ruin the mood but I need to know if he’s okay.

“Much,” he says, reaching out and twirling a strand of my hair around his finger. “Your presence raises my spirits immensely.”

“Are you sure?” I say softly, rolling off his lap to curl up next to him, under his arm. We both fit on his little twin bed, and that makes me happy.

“Yes,” he whispers, squeezing me closer to him. “I’ve never punched someone before. You make me that kind of crazy.”

“Thank you,” I whisper back, soaking in his warmth.

“So,” he says. “Want to pick up where we left off?”

I let my smile creep over my face, turning my head to face him. “I thought you’d never ask.”


	27. marinate makes a choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is from the point of view of the one and only marinette!
> 
> also this chapter? SO FUN TO WRITE. i had a BLAST with this one. also get ready, because the next six (maybe? that's the plan but it might change) chapters are going to be really cool. at least, i think they're going to be really cool. i'm really excited for it, and i'm excited for y'all to read them!!!! this is going to be awesome!!!! :)

Juleka walks back to us; she’d gone to check on Luka but turned away almost immediately. “He’s fine,” she says. “They’re, uh, busy.” Adrien raises an eyebrow at that, and I swallow the flutter of jealousy that rides up inside me. I shouldn’t be jealous; Luka and I didn’t work out, and it was years ago, anyway. But the feeling is still there.

I stand up, brushing off my jeans. “I ought to head home,” I say quickly. I shoot a glance at Adrien, but he’s looking to Kagami, of course. “See you tomorrow, guys.”

I wave goodbye and run off the boat, opening my bag as soon as I’m off, ducking into an alley. “Tikki!” I hiss.

“What’s wrong, Marinette?” she says, poking her head out.

“Adrien’s going to the Snow Ball with Kagami,” I squeak. “And Celeste is going with Luka.” I sigh. “She told me to go with Felix, but he’s awful, Tikki! What am I going to do?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out, Marinette,” Tikki says. Someone walks past the alley and she ducks into the bag. “You should go home, and then we can talk more, okay?”

“See you then, Tikki,” I say, snapping my bag shut. I step out of the alley and continue walking home. My head whirls in a state of panic; all of my friends have dates except me and oh my goodness this is awful. Felix? Sure, he and I had fun designing the clothes for that music video we may or may not be in, but I can’t spend a night with him!

I round a corner, the last before I make it home, and gasp. Speak of the devil.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” Felix says slyly. “Just the girl I was hoping to see.” He’s leaning against a building, and the suit plus the pose makes me think of one of Adrien’s phot shoots. I get all fluttery in the stomach with the thought.

“Me?” I squeak. “Why me?”

“Well, I figured I ought to get your number so we can work out a plan for the Snow Ball, obviously,” Felix drawls. He’s got this strange glare in his eyes. Not very Adrien-like.

“I don’t even know if I want to go with you,” I say carefully. I frown, ever so slightly.

“Ah, but I think you do.” Felix stands up straight, adjusting his tie. “At the very least, I can make you want to.”

“That’s not convincing me in the slightest,” I inform him, trying to step around him, but he blocks me.

“Walk with me, Marinette,” he says, offering his hand. Against my better judgment, I take it and we cross the street to the park. “Listen to me for a second here.” He leads me to a bench and we sit.

“You ought to go with me for one reason: Celeste Vasseur.” Felix raises an eyebrow. “Do you see where I’m going with this?”

“No,” I say. “Celeste? Really?”

“Celeste Vasseur is the reason for that sadness in your eyes,” Felix declares, standing up from the bench and pacing. “You asked her one thing, correct? Help you get Adrien as a date.”

“Kagami showed up,” I say, crossing my arms.

“Exactly.” Felix turns to face me, rubbing his hands together. “Rather randomly, too. If Celeste really talked to Adrien at all, surely she would know about Kagami’s arrival, and she would have warned you.”

“Celeste did talk to Adrien,” I say, shaking my head. “I saw her. During class.”

“Then she didn’t try,” Felix says. “You gave her friends and acceptance at school and she does nothing for you?”

“That’s not right,” I say, standing up myself. “Stop trying to use me to get back at her.” I stride away from Felix, the setting sun throwing gold and shadows across the park.

“And then she takes your man. Luka himself.” Felix’s words stop me in my tracks. My lips part. “She didn’t even ask anyone about his history. Just took him. He would have been your date, wouldn’t he.”

“Yes,” I say, turning around slowly. “But you can’t blame her, really.”

“No, not really,” Felix says, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt. “But then she set you up with me.”

“We both wanted a date,” I say desperately, seeing where he’s going and hating it. “You can’t blame her.”

“You keep saying those words,” Felix says, walking up to me again. “But you can blame her. Her hatred of me- our mutual animosity, really- has been obvious since that first day you met me, has it not?”

“She’s always hated you,” I whisper, scared for what I’m thinking and he’s saying.

“She hates me and yet she gave you over to me without a second thought,” Felix says, chuckling. “She said sure! Marinette can’t have Adrien, she can’t have Luka, but Felix? He’s the guy for her.” Felix draws closer to me, his green eyes glinting. “She goes on about she’s her own person, but clearly she means she cares for no one but herself.”

“No- no,” I say, stepping back. “Adrien just didn’t tell her about Kagami. Luka and I broke up years ago; that’s not even an issue. I- she put us together out of convenience.”

“How did you and Luka break up?” Felix says slowly, leaning forward until our faces are a breath apart. I back up hastily.

“I- I still had feelings for Adrien,” I say softly, “and he broke up with me because he was all in, and he could see that I wasn’t.” It crushed both me and him.

“So you still have feelings for him, don’t you?” Felix says. “Or maybe you didn’t, not on the surface, but they never really go away, do they?” He doesn’t blink. “They lingered, just beneath your subconscious, but they all came raging to the surface when you saw how he kissed her, how he touched her, how he defended her, and how he protected her. You envy her.” When I don’t say anything for a moment, he speaks again. “You even hate her a little.” 

“I don’t hate her,” I say like a reflex. “Hate is an emotion you get akumatized for.”

“Not hate,” Felix amends. “But you wish she’d go back to where she came from.” His eyes twinkle, and he steps closer and closer to me, making me step back until my clumsiness makes me trip and I’m sitting on the ground, completely vulnerable in front of him. “You don’t think the band needs another member, you don’t think you need another friend in your group, and you don’t think Luka needs to move on yet.” His mouth twitches upwards into a smirk. “You don’t want to admit it to yourself, but it’s true.”

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “No, no, she’s great, she’s cool. She’s a good person.”

“Oh, I’m sure she is,” Felix says. “But she changed things. And you want them to go back.” He stares at me for a moment before I break, inhaling shakily.

“Is that so wrong?” I say, barely louder than a breath. “She gets to live with Adrien, not me. She’s dating Luka, not me.” I shake my head as I say it. “Stop it!” I yell at Felix. “You’re evil.”

“Go to the dance with me,” Felix says. “I promise I’ll be the perfect gentleman- a veritable saint. It’ll drive her crazy, she’ll be distracted all night wondering what I’m up to, and then you sneak in and tell Luka you still have feelings for him. It’ll be the wedge in their relationship that drives them apart, and he’ll run to you and she’ll run to me.”

“What’s in it for you?” I whisper. I feel tears well up in my eyes, but for what reason, I have no idea. “Why are you doing this?”

Felix sniffs, stepping away and fiddling with a button on his vest. “She thinks she’s so high-and-mighty, and he’s all possessive. I have a complicated relationship with her. And I have a score to settle with him.” He puts his hands in his pockets and glares at me. “You don’t punch me and expect not to have any consequences.”

I get to my feet slowly. “I could have Luka back?”

“At the very least, it’d make Adrien jealous,” Felix says, looking bored as he examines the cuticles on his left hand. “Getting back together with Luka would most likely get him to see you like a girl who’s unafraid to be in a relationship. You could make him fall for you the second Kagami heads back to Japan.” He puts the hand back in his pocket. “And I’d get my revenge.”

“You’re kind of terrifying,” I say slowly, hugging myself. “You’re twisted.” It strikes me how true this is. He pulled me to a park to convince me to have a grudge against my friend. And the worst part is that it's almost working.

“Maybe,” Felix says. “But I can promise you a night you’ll never forget, and I can promise you I’ll treat you right.”

“And if I still don’t want to go with you?” I say softly, scared to ask it. But I have to know the answer.

Felix shrugs. “Adrien and I are identical.” He looks up, where the last few rays of the dying sun are struggling to climb into the sky. “You wanted to go with him, didn’t you?”

“I did,” I whisper. “But you’re not the same person.”

“You got a crush on him from a bunch of photos,” Felix says. “Let’s face it, you and a thousand other girls saw the ‘famous model’,” and Felix makes these mocking quotation marks with his fingers, “and you decided he was cute and you liked him for that.” His eyes narrow. “You learned to love him later. You got to know him later. But in the beginning, you liked him purely for his looks, did you not?”

I say nothing, only take another shaky breath, and that’s all Felix needs to hear. “I understand you wanted to go with him, not me,” Felix says, and then an evil smile creeps over his face. “But I’ll change up my look for you, and we’ll be indistinguishable. Not to mention, I’ll be acting like the perfect date, the date to make all other dates look bad.” Felix steps up close to me yet again, but this time I don’t back away. “You wanted to go with him, but there won’t be a trace of me left. You may not get to go with the real Adrien Agreste, but trust me. No one else will be able to tell the difference.”

It’s nighttime now, the only light being from a lamppost a little way across the park, and it throws a shadow across Felix’s face. “Marinette,” he says smoothly, my name flowing off his lips like wind over water, and he reaches out, extending a hand to me. “Will you go to the Snow Ball with me?”

I bite my lip, the tears still hiding at the back of my eyes. I think of Celeste and Luka kissing on the boat. I think of Adrien and Kagami kissing on the boat. And I think of going to the dance with Adrien, even if it’s not really Adrien.

I look up into Felix’s strange green eyes, and they’re the same as Adrien’s, if a little more closed off and guarded. I look at his hair, how it’s the same shade of gold, how their skin is the same sun-kissed hue, how they’re the same height, how their mouths are shaped the same way. It’d be everything I wanted, if not now, then soon. Soon, with what Felix is proposing.

I look into his eyes and I take his hand and I whisper, “Yes.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to, comment your thoughts! i had fun writing this chapter, did you have fun reading it?


	28. everything goes up in flames (the snow ball part I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is easily the longest chapter yet. . . sorry! and this is with me making it intentionally vague at some parts! i legit spent THREE HOURS writing this, so i hope you guys enjoy it! :)

Friday afternoon I knock on Gabriel Agreste’s door. Nathalie opens it hesitantly, clearly unsure of why I’m seeking her out. “Yes?”

“I have a school dance tomorrow night,” I say. “So I am unable to test with you tomorrow.”

“Miss Vasseur, you don’t really have a choice here,” Nathalie says, looking down at me.

I shrug. “Did you have plans for tomorrow?”

“Not yet.”

“I’m all yours on Sunday,” I say. “I won’t scream or try to get away this time. Just let me have tomorrow.”

Nathalie looks me over. “I suppose we can work with that.”

Saturday afternoon I’m sitting in my room. I wonder if I’ll get to see my dad tonight. I got dressed for the dance by myself, narrowly avoiding burning my ears and fingers when I try to curl my hair. In the end, I don’t set it with hairspray and leave it the way it is, soft waves fading quickly to straight hair. I figure in an hour my hair will be its wonderful limp, almost-straight self, but for now it’s cute, I guess. I pull back two tiny pieces from the front and pin them up in the back. I look over my face- no fancy makeup here, just mascara and lip gloss and blush for my pale, pale cheeks.

I step out of the bathroom, stopping in front of the mirror. My dress is white with a lace overlay, spaghetti straps and an A-line skirt that falls midway down my thighs. It has a lavender sash, but I decided that wasn’t enough purple, so I’m wearing my purple Converse as well. I know they’re not really formal, but I’m scared I’ll get dizzy again, and I’d rather do that in the comfort of sneakers.

I take a deep breath. I think I look alright, to be honest. Grabbing my bag- a little lavender bag that my mom gave me ages and ages ago that reminds me of Marinette’s purse- I open it so Eikka can fly in, and then I’m ready. I decide to look around for my dad, see what he thinks, so I leave my room, finding my way to the parlor and the stairs. Felix’s room is upstairs, so maybe my dad is up there, too.

Halfway up the stairs I run into Adrien, looking very sharp in a dark grey suit. “You look nice!” I say. “Have you seen my dad?”

Adrien smiles. “Thanks! And not yet, but I’m sure he can’t wait to see you.” Adrien blinks. “You look lovely.”

“Thanks,” I say, stepping past him to head upstairs. I don’t see him, though, and I don’t want to risk knocking, and then Nathalie calls, “Everyone’s here!” and I have to go downstairs anyway.

I come to the top of the stairs, and I see everyone mingling in the hall. Adrien’s talking to Marinette; Kagami and Luka are making conversation. I take a deep breath, and that’s when Adrien’s door opens. He steps out of his room in a dark grey suit.

“Adrien,” I say slowly. “Wait.” I look back to Adrien, talking to Marinette, then back to Adrien, staring at me. “You’re Adrien?”

“Yes,” Adrien says slowly, peering down with me. “Felix is dressed as me, isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” I say. “He was actually nice to me earlier. I thought he was you.”

Adrien shrugs. “Funny coincidence, I guess.” He offers me his arm. “M’lady?”

“Good sir,” I say, exaggeratedly curtsying. I take his arm, and he leads me down the stairs. Halfway down, Luka looks up, and I want to run down into his arms, but I restrain myself. Gabriel and Nathalie are both here, and I’m sure Amelie’s lurking somewhere, and I refuse to give them ammo. Or an excuse to trip me.

“I’ll take her from here,” Luka says, taking me from Adrien and taking my hand. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” Adrien says, and he walks to Kagami’s side. She’s gorgeous with a sleek red dress, high-heeled black boots, and a gold dragon-shaped clip in her hair. She blushes as Adrien kisses her hand.

“You look beautiful,” Luka says, twirling me. I laugh, twirling right into him, leaning on him. “Like an angel.”

“Thanks,” I say. “You look pretty handsome yourself.” He’s wearing a black button-down shirt and pants with black Converse. The only spot of color is his teal tie, which matches his hair perfectly. “Really handsome, to be honest.”

“You like it?” he asks. “I figured you’d be wearing Converse. Thought we’d match.”

“You read my mind,” I say, laughing, and he hugs me, pressing a kiss on my forehead. We separate, and I notice Felix and Marinette. I’m now incredibly confused. Is Felix smiling?

Felix is smiling. He’s laughing, actually, at something Marinette said. She’s wearing a 50s style pink dress with black polka dots and black flats. Her hair’s pulled up into a bun with two curled pieces hanging along her face, and she’s laughing with Felix.

“What’s on your mind?” Luka asks.

“Felix is acting. . . nice,” I say, blinking. “Something’s up.”

“Or maybe he’s trying to turn over a new leaf,” Luka suggests. “For Marinette.”

“I don’t trust him,” I say slowly. 

Luka chuckles, turning my face back to him. “Don’t worry about him, Celeste.”

My dad shows up just in time for pictures. I smile bigger and brighter than I ever have, then drag Luka over. “Luka, this is my dad. Dad, this is Luka.”

“Pleasure to meet you, sir,” Luka says, shaking my dad’s hand.

“Please, call me Charles,” Dad says, shaking his head. “No need for formality as long as you take care of my daughter.”

“Oh, I’m taking care of her, don’t worry,” Luka says. “She means too much to me to see anything bad happen.”

“Keep it that way,” Dad says, and then Amelie clears her throat and he walks back to her side. “You look beautiful, sweetheart.”

“Thanks Dad,” I say, smiling sadly. I wish Amelie would let him go, just one night. But no.

We go to eat dinner in the dining room, Gabriel unwilling to let his son go out for longer than he needs to. Felix is the perfect gentleman, pulling out Marinette’s chair for her and smiling at her, laughing with her. I don’t get it. I spend so much time studying him, I don’t really touch my dinner.

“Celeste, I love how you and Luka matched shoes,” Marinette says, giggling. “Was that on purpose?”

“He had a lucky guess,” I say. “Did you design your dress?”

“Yeah!” she squeaks. “You like it?”

“It’s adorable,” I say. “You rock it.” I notice Felix looking at me and my still-full plate, and I narrow my eyes enough to tell him to keep to himself. For the rest of dinner, Luka and I talk about random things- desserts, childhood memories, music, and favorite animals, even.

“I happen to really enjoy snakes,” Luka says. “They’ve got a bad rap, but they’re interesting animals.”

I shake my head, scrunching my face. “I don’t really like snakes. Or spiders. Or any creepy-crawlers.”

“What’s your favorite, then?” Luka says.

“Swans,” I say. “My mom loved them. She’d love Eala. She’d be her biggest fan.” I wish Luka and my mom could meet. She’d love him.

“You like Eala?” Luka says.

“I think she’s cool,” I say. 

We sit there for a moment before Adrien checks his watch. “We’d better get going if we want to make it there on time,” he says, standing up. Felix pulls Marinette’s chair back again, and he beats us all to the door, opening it for her. She blushes. I scowl.

“Don’t hang yourself up on him,” Luka murmurs into my ear. “He doesn’t deserve it.”

“I know,” I sigh. Luka chuckles and takes my hand, and we walk to the car together. Felix is helping Marinette into the car. I bristle again, and Luka wraps his arm around me, pulling me close to him to tell me to calm down. I roll my eyes, looking up at him, and kiss his cheek before pulling him into the car with me. Adrien and Kagami, deep in conversation, follow us, and then we’re off.

We ride for a moment before Luka leans over to whisper into my ear. “You really do look stunning,” he whispers. “I can’t keep my eyes off of you.”

I blush. “Luka,” I say softly, turning to him, and oh if there weren’t other people in this car. . . 

“I just wish,” Luka breathes into my ear, “that I could tell you exactly how beautiful you look in private.”

“I feel the exact same way,” I say, and I take his hand and our joined hands rest on his knee and I want to be sitting on his lap right now. Kagami lets out a loud giggle that reminds me why I can’t. I look over at Felix and Marinette, and they’re in an animated discussion themselves, one that seems genuine and actual fun to have. I wonder if this isn’t Felix, but actually an Adrien Agreste clone.

“What do you say,” Luka murmurs, “we get to the dance and we find an empty classroom?” He blinks, smiling serenely. “So I can tell you just how gorgeous you are.”

“Or,” I say, rubbing his hand with my thumb the way he once did to me, “I don’t think we need to stay at the dance the whole time, you know.”

“I like the way you think,” he says, and he presses a kiss to my cheek and I blush furiously.

We pull up in front of the school right then, and I can see the courtyard is awash with lights and music. Felix helps Marinette out of the car, and the two of them walk up quickly. Kagami and Adrien follow them. Luka pulls me along behind him, and laughing, I let him press me up against the wall of the school and kiss me.

“Your lip gloss is all over me,” he says, wiping his mouth. “How’d you even manage that? I thought it came off when we ate.”

“I reapplied,” I say, realizing I left it in the car. “Shit. It’s in the car.”

“Here, let me put some on you,” Luka says, kissing me again. “Did that do anything?”

“Hmm,” I say, teasing. “I’m not sure. You better try again.”

He kisses me again, and I hear someone making vomit noises. Turning around, I see Chloe Bourgeois in a gorgeous yellow dress, Sabrina next to her in a teal one. “Can you kiss the weird emo boy anywhere else, Celeste? I’m  _ trying  _ to take a picture.” Chloe poses once again, and we scuttle out of the background, snickering. “Where’s my date?”

“Is that XY?” I ask, pointing to her date. She smirks, as if she can hear me.

“Looks like it,” Luka says, shaking his head. “God, I hate him.”

“I bet she forced him into this,” I whisper. “Look at the expression on his face.” He looks grumpy. Luka nods, turning to me.

“Care to dance, Celeste?” Luka asks, pulling me towards him.

“I’d love to,” I say, and we enter the school building at long last. Rainbow lights dance across the courtyard, and there’s a table with punch and snacks along the side. Students mill around on the dance floor, some dancing, some talking.

“Look, there’s Jules,” Luka says, and he pulls me over to Juleka and Rose. Rose is wearing a flouncy pink dress and Juleka’s wearing all black, like Luka, with a purple bow tie. Luka gives her a big hug when he sees her.

“You both look great!” I say. Juleka’s outfit is giving me envy- her tight black dress with the mock neck, the fishnet tights, the black Doc Martens, the fingerless gloves- I want to wear it myself. “Rose, you could be a princess, and Juleka, I just love everything!”

“Thanks!” Rose squeals. She twirls, and I clap. “I love your dress, too!”

“Thanks,” I say, laughing. “Luka and I were going to dance, care to join us?”

“Juleka wanted a chocolate-chip cookie,” Rose says. “But after that, yes!” She waves us off and Luka pulls me to the floor, right in the middle of some crazy EDM song. He joking twirls me, and I laugh, spinning in the lights.

“I don’t really know how to dance,” I say. “Not really.”

“Oh, it’s easy,” Luka says. “Step one: forget everyone else in here.” He pulls me in and out, leading me. “Then step two: feel the music.” He twirls me again.

“I think you’re hearing a different song,” I say as he grabs my hands, pulling me into the center.

“Oh, no,” he says, laughing. “This is what I hear.” He lets go of me, and then his arms are up and his feet are tapping and I’m laughing and he reaches out and lifts my hands up and our hands are in the air and we’re dancing and laughing, jumping around like maniacs. It’s amazingly free. It feels like flying though we’re on the ground.

The song ends, and Nino, who’s apparently DJing the dance, leans into the mic. “Alright dudes, this is for all you dudes who brought another dude with you.” He puts a new track on, and this one is slow and soft and deep.

“Dance with me?” Luka asks, and I nod, and he pulls me close to him and wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me even closer, and I rest my head on his chest and put my hands on his shoulders, dangling over to almost touch behind his neck. He leans into me, too, and we sway like that on the dance floor, not speaking with words but by touch.

“You’ve changed my life,” I whisper. “I don’t know how you’ve done it so quickly, but I really don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“You’re the one that’s changed my life,” Luka murmurs. “I care deeply for you, Celeste.”

“I care deeply for you, too,” I say softly, and I pull my head back and we kiss again as the music reaches a crescendo, and it’s passionate and I long for us to be alone right here, right now. We break apart, going back to leaning on each other, and I look across the courtyard to see Felix and Marinette in the same position, a serene smile on her face and a glowing smile on his.

The song ends, and Nino puts on another EDM song, and we separate. “Can I-” I say, then stop. “I need to talk to Felix,” I say, pulling Luka over to the side where we can hear. “I have to see if he’s up to something or it’ll drive me crazy all night.”

“I know,” Luka says, chuckling. “I’ll get us some punch, and you talk to Felix, and what do you say we look for somewhere quieter when you get back?” He raises one eyebrow.

“That sounds perfect,” I say, squeezing his hand and diving back into the crowd to find Felix.

It’s not hard- he and Marinette are talking in hushed voices over by the base of the stairs. “Hey,” I say, walking up. “Felix, can I talk to you for a second?” Adrien and Kagami are sitting on the stairs above us, and when I ask to talk they get up and climb up the rest of the way.

“Yeah, sure,” he says. Marinette smiles at me, then heads off towards the punch bowl. “What’s up?”

“What’re you up to?” I say, crossing my arms. “You’re smiling. You’re being nice. You’re a goddamn pleasure to be around, for crying out loud.”

“What do you mean?” Felix says, tilting his head. “Am I not allowed to be a pleasure?”

“What are you up to?” I say again, emphasizing every word. “What’s your plan here? I don’t think you’d be this nice if not for a reason.”

“Jesus, Celeste, are you always this twisted?” Felix snaps. “I can’t be nice without you jumping down my throat?”

“I’m not jumping down your throat!” I say quickly. “I’m just curious!”

“How terrible of a person must you be to get all suspicious of someone trying to improve themselves?” Felix hisses. He leans over me. “For crying out loud, Celeste, I can act however the fuck I want to. It’s none of your goddamn business.”

“I know,” I say, annoyed. “But if you’re trying to pull something over Marinette-” I look up to see Marinette quickly climbing the other stairs, her head down. “You don’t get to hurt her,” I growl.

“Please,” Felix says, waving me off. “Marinette can take care of herself. Are you always this nosy?”

“Felix,” I snap.

“Celeste!” he shouts. “Stop it. Go the fuck away. You don’t get to bust into my life and act like a bitch all the time, you know that? I can do whatever the fuck I want. Get the fuck away from me. I don’t want you here. Hell, I don’t want you in my house. If I want to be nice to people, I can do that, and if I want to kick you out of my house- which I do- I can do that, too. See? Your opinions don’t fucking matter to me.” He leans over me, and I tremble, scared by the evil look in his eyes. “You’re nothing.”

“Go to hell,” I spit, turning on my heel and striding away, breathing shakily. I stop at the entrance to the courtyard, looking around for Luka. I look at the punch table- there’s Mylene and Ivan. I look on the dance floor, where Rose and Juleka are spinning in circles. He’s not by the DJ table, where Alya and Nino are talking. Kagami rushes past me, Adrien on her heels, and I turn away from them, not wanting to see them get all lovey-dovey or whatever. 

I close my eyes. “Breathe a box,” I mutter. I spend a minute performing my favorite breathing exercise, calming myself down. Felix doesn’t get to tell me that I’m nothing, and I don’t have to believe it, right? I need to calm down. After a period of time, I open my eyes, looking for him, and then I locate Luka in the corner of the courtyard, nearish the punch bowl.

“Luka!” I say, running up to him. He hands me a cup of bright pink punch. I take it, my hands shaking.

“Are you okay?” Luka says, looking down at me. His eyes are full of concern, but his face is red, like he’s flustered. I open my mouth to ask him about it when someone yells.

“Akuma!” Kim yells. “Akuma!” He points upward to the purple butterfly, which is slowly descending into the courtyard. I stiffen, my hand jumping to my wrist, which I left unbandaged for tonight, and I put my watch on, and could it happen again? Surely it couldn’t.

“Celeste,” Luke says, his voice far away. I’m entirely focused on the akuma, my gaze locked, my body immobile. “Celeste.” He grabs me, snapping me out of my shock. “Come on, we have to hide!” He pulls me along, and I stumble. “Celeste, come on!”

I gasp, snapping back to my body, and I follow him. He pushes his way into a classroom, looking around. “Damn it,” he snaps. “Nowhere to hide but the desk, and not enough room for both of us.”

“You hide behind the desk,” I say, nodding to the giant table. “I’m small, I’ll fit in a locker.”

“Celeste,” Luka says, his voice cracking.

“Hide!” I say, and I close the door behind me. The courtyard is empty, but I hear shouts in the streets, and I turn around, trying to see if I need to transform, and when I turn back, everything’s on fire.

I gasp, pinning myself against the wall. “Shit, shit, shit,” I say. I open my bag, turning. “Eikka!” I hiss. “Eikka, everything’s on fire.” Someone cackles, and I hiss, opening a locker and climbing in.

“Girl, most people get shoved in lockers against their will,” Eikka says. I roll my eyes.

“Not the time,” I whisper. “Eikka, open wings.” A bright flash of light later, and Eala is ready to go. I roll out of the locker, letting out a sigh of relief when there’s enough room to extend my wings. I take off into the sky, twisting through the growing flames.

Wait. The growing flames. Cursing, I drop back into the thick of it, coughing from the smoke, throwing open doors to classrooms. “Break a window!” I scream. “Get out!” I don’t stay in any of the classrooms but Luka’s. I smash the window for him, figuring a side exit is better than me flying out with the whole student body, at least on the first floor. The second floor is a whole different story.

When I fly to the second floor, I see Chat Noir evacuating people as well. “I got the left,” he yells, and I nod, turning to the right and lifting person after person to safety, depositing them on the front steps of the school. They run.

“Where’s Ladybug?” I ask Chat as we make our final checks of the classroom.

“She’s getting Reena Rouge and Carapace,” Chat says. “We’re facing Dragon. She’s got the powers of ice, lightning, and fire.” We come to the end of the hallway. “And now you ought to see her for yourself.”

Chat shoots up on his pole; I fly. I fly for a glorious three seconds before something hits me and I’m almost knocked out of the sky. I turn, looking for the dark mass, and see a girl with a strangely elongated face and cherry-red skin. She has bright gold dragon’s wings coming out of her back, and she snarls at me. Her dress is made of gold scales that contrast with the red skin, and she has a strange gold circlet that looks to be a sort of armor, with a dragon’s head on her forehead.

She beats her wings, diving at me again. I narrowly swerve to miss her, and she opens her mouth, shooting a column of fire at me. I turn to find Chat, and he’s gone. “Chat!” I scream. “Ladybug!” She shoots again, this time ice, and it punches me in the chest, and I scream again as I fall backwards. I can’t fight and fly at the same time. I’m spinning towards the ground, seeing the end come near me, when someone grabs me under my elbows and hoists me up.

I turn, looking at my saviors, because there’s two! Reena Rouge and Carapace, both with wings- wings? Reena’s got some swirly-looking wings, and silver swirls across her body, and Carapace has circular wings and lots of silver circles.

“You have wings?” I say, coughing. “Thanks, by the way.”

“Power-up,” Reena Rouge says, spinning her flute. “Ladybug’s got one for you on the ground.” She salutes me with two fingers and flies up to fight Dragon, Carapace on her tail. I see Chat coming up with dragon-like wings and lightning designs of silver down his suit, and I nod to him as I shoot towards the ground, landing in front of Ladybug and in front of the school.

“You need to be able to fly and fight,” Ladybug says. She hands me a vial of silver liquid. “De-transform, feed it to your kwami.” She grins, then takes off. I notice her ladybug wings now, the polka-dots on her suit lined with silver.

I duck into a bush. “Eikka, close wings,” I say, and she flies out of my necklace. “You gotta drink this.” I pound on my chest while she chugs- I feel like that ice knocked the wind out of me a bit. 

“I hate transforming,” Eikka says, and then she bursts into light, reforming with silver in her crest. “I’m now Flykka!” It rhymes with Eikka.

“Flykka, open wings,” I say, and she spins into my necklace again. I notice a change immediately- I hold two staffs in my hands along with the wings on my back. I come out of the bush, seeing myself in a puddle. Silver is woven through my braid, and my wings are larger, more powerful. Two beats, and I’m soaring through the air to rejoin the fight.

And I’m needed. I catch Reena Rouge as she plummets, pushing her back up and smacking a clump of ice as it flies towards us, rendering it to slivers. “Lucky Charm!” Ladybug screams desperately, and a bottle of something slaps into her hand right as Dragon takes off, leaving the school.

I twist, flying after her. “What’s the plan?” I yell. Ladybug overtakes me, her wings buzzing madly, and Chat swoops in to join her. I fall back with Carapace and Reena Rouge. “How are we going to defeat her?”

“I’ll tell you,” Ladybug says, and she swoops to Chat, and then Carapace, and then Reena Rouge, and then to me, and she whispers, “when I go in for her wings, I’m going to need you to gust at them from the left.”

“What?” I say, but she’s flying off. She throws her yo-yo at Dragon, grabbing one of her wings, and Dragon is dragged down, hissing at Ladybug.

“You can’t tame the Dragon,” she says, her voice a deep hiss. “You will die for trying.” She opens her mouth, and lightning crackles, and then she’s free as Ladybug takes off and Dragon shoots after her, bursting through clouds. Reena Rouge suddenly whips out her flute, playing a haunting tune, then shouting “Mirage!” and throwing a ball of light over Ladybug. Ladybug vanishes, becoming one with the night sky.

“I’ll just take the cat,” Dragon snarls, diving at Chat, and Chat swerves, and I swerve towards her wings, assuming Ladybug is going for the wings, and then Carapace dives around Dragon, and he grabs onto Ladybug, who’s re-appeared just out of reach of Dragon’s wings. Dragon shoots lightning at Chat Noir, who shakes, yelling in pain as it connects. Dragon cackles, and then Ladybug squirts whatever’s in the bottle all over Dragon’s wings, and screams, “Now, Eala!”

“Feather Dance!” I cry, blowing wind at Dragon’s wings, and Ladybug braces against the right wing as the gust hits the left, blowing them together. I hold it as Dragon screeches, and Carapace yells “Shelter!” and a green shield encircles him and Ladybug and Dragon. Dragon blows fire, but it rebounds against the shield.

“She can’t use her powers,” I say, shaking my head. “Genius.” The wind still goes through somehow, but I don’t question it. Dragon begins to fall, slowly, then quickly, dropping like a rock as her wings are glued together forcibly. I fall with them, the wind coming out of my hands still as we fall. Chat and Reena dive with me. Dragon gets an evil look on her face.

“She’s attacking with lightning!” Reena Rouge screams, and Dragon hits Carapace square in the chest, and then the shield flickers, vanishing entirely as Carapace, knocked out, falls. Dragon shakes her wings, trying to free herself, and Ladybug lassos them with her yo-yo, pinning herself to Dragon. 

“Now, Chat!” she screams. They plummet, and I let up on the wind, my head spinning from the effort. I barely manage to flap my wings in time to shoot towards them, seeing how Ladybug’s about to crash into the pavement.

I reach them just before Chat does, grabbing onto Dragon and pulling her sideways, crashing into a park and deflecting the force of their landing, taking the brunt of it into myself, just so Ladybug isn’t hurt. Dragon hisses, shooting fire at me, and I roll out of the way right as Chat yells “Cataclysm!” and hits her headpiece, which crumbles, revealing an akuma.

I push myself up to my knees, coughing as Ladybug captures the akuma. My necklace beeps frantically, as do Ladybug’s earrings, as does Reena Rouge’s necklace, as does Carapace’s bracelet. “We have to go,” Carapace says.

“I’ll fix everything in a second,” Ladybug says, looking around. “I have to go. I’ll do it where no one could see.” She flies away quickly.

“I’d better go, too,” Reena Rouge says. She flips her ponytail. “Pleasure fighting with you, Eala.” She and Carapace take off.

“I have to go too,” I say to Chat. “I’m sorry.” Chat kneels next to Dragon, nodding to me. He reaches down to her, strokes her hair. I watch them for a second before I take off towards the school.

I land in the bush again, right as the magic ladybugs fix everything and the school is no longer on fire and destroyed. “Close wings,” I gasp, and Eikka flies out into my hand. She’s panting.

“Too long,” she says.

I nod, pressing a hand to my temple. I can feel the headache coming on, and the world spins. “Too long.” I bite my cheek. “Eikka, I’ll get you something to eat in a second- I have to move so someone can find me.” I place her in my bag and climb out of the bush, stumbling up the stairs to the school as my head constricts, the dizziness come back with a vengeance.

People are filtering in again, rushing past me to find their friends. I stumble to the back, wondering where Luka is. “Luka!” I call weakly. My head spins and I lean against the wall, staggering. “Luka!” I cry again. Everything’s covered in spots. It’s a wonder I’m standing.

“Celeste,” his voice says, and I turn and he’s running towards me, pushing through the crowds of people. “Celeste!” He runs, and I push off the wall and stumble to him, every step a struggle.

“Luka,” I say softly, but my head spins again and I fall into his arms. I try to push myself to my feet, but everything turns and I collapse into him.

“Celeste,” he says, his voice full of panic. “Celeste!”

He’s still crying my name when I pass out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why is it (the snow ball part I) you ask? well, we don't know everything that happened that night, do we? celeste is pretty good at noticing things, but she doesn't see all. she missed a good amount. luckily, there were other people paying attention.


	29. felix doesn't feel better (the snow ball part II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> felix's point of view this time! hope you guys like it when the story shifts points of view... :)

I stand in front of the mirror, adjusting my tie. I stare at myself, and I still look like me, but that’s not good enough, is it? I sigh. Adrien is predictable enough that I was able to guess what suit he’d wear. And the fact that he’s going to wear a suit, even though I doubt it’s needed at a school dance. Disgusting. If I didn’t want revenge, I’d be watching Netflix right now.

Giving myself a once-over, I reach up and muss up my hair a bit. Not too much, mind you- but my slicked-back look won’t work if Marinette wants Adrien. When I finish mussing, I smile in the mirror. More easygoing, less tactical. Perfect.

I leave my room, striding down the hallway. I plan on waiting in the parlor for Marinette, greeting her as soon as she enters. I step onto the stairs just as Celeste does, looking positively ethereal in a white dress that’s probably supposed to be tighter than it is. She’s holding onto a little bag I’ve never seen before but is very Parisian. And she’s wearing sneakers, which is a terrible fashion choice, but indeed very Celeste.

She sees me and smiles. “You look nice!” she chirps. I realize she thinks I’m Adrien. “Have you seen my dad?”

He’s in my mother’s bedroom, as always, but I consider this a practice round for the night, so I must keep up the act. “Thanks!” I say, smiling. “And no, not yet, but I’m sure he can’t wait to see you.” I think of what Adrien would say next. “You look lovely.”

Celeste blushes. “Thanks!” She jogs up the stairs and I watch her go, watch her go on the fruitless search. I sigh, turning away, leaving her.

I sit in one of the entrance hall’s chairs, opening my phone. I text Marinette.

_ You ready? _

_ Yes. _

I pocket my phone as Nathalie comes to the door, opening it. Marinette, Luka, and Kagami enter.

“Marinette,” I say warmly, walking to her. “You look absolutely stunning.”

“Felix,” she says, beaming. “I’m excited for tonight, aren’t you?”

“Oh, so excited,” I say, chuckling.

“I thought you were Adrien,” Kagami says slowly. “Where’s he?”

“I’ll call him,” Nathalie says, and then she shouts “Everyone’s here!” and goes back to Gabriel’s office.

“You look just like him,” Marinette whispers to me, and I smile.

“I’m good at what I do,” I say, shrugging. I see Celeste and Adrien exchanging words at the top of the stairs, and I know she’s already confused. I lean to Marinette, whispering. “I just said something funny.”

Marinette giggles, on cue, and I laugh myself. “Tonight will be wonderful,” I say right as Adrien and Celeste reach the ground. Luka twirls Celeste, making her skirt fly out. He looks like a total douchebag, which I’m sure he is. I have a feeling about him. Adrien goes to Kagami, who looks pretty hot, if I do say so myself. Of the girls, Marinette looks cute, Celeste looks angelic, and Kagami looks hot. I’m not sure if they intended that.

I kiss Marinette’s hand, smiling. “Did you design your dress?”

“I did!” she says, looking down at her handiwork proudly. “You like it?”

“You have quite the eye,” I say truthfully, and I take her by the arm and lead her to the dining room. I pull her chair out for her. I look at her and smile as much as I can. I am the perfect gentleman. I am the perfect date. I make all other girls jealous.

Marinette’s not too bad herself, to be honest. She’s a bit awkward, sure, but the two of us can talk about fashion without an issue. She shows me some of her designs, and she’s got a quirky eye- in fact, I don’t hate making pleasant conversation with her.

“You and I should do some together sometime,” I say. “Honestly. I think my simple, bold taste with your whimsical taste could make some great pieces.”

“Adrien modelled one of my pieces in a show, once,” Marinette says, pulling up the feathered hat on her phone. “Derby hat.”

“I love that,” I say. “Truly.”

She blushes, tucking her hair behind her ear. Most of her hair is up, but she left some front pieces and she looks pretty with it like that, to be honest. I stare at her for a moment, and then Adrien checks his watch and says we ought to go.

I jump to my feet, pulling Marinette’s chair back for her, then quickly opening the door for her as well. “A perfect gentleman,” Marinette says, smiling at me. Celeste gives me a glare- she’s already bothered. Perfect. Luka keeps whispering to her, and she keeps sighing. I don’t know if she realizes it. Maybe she’ll be so focused on me, she’ll be a terrible date to Luka. I doubt it’ll happen, but it could. That’d work in my favor.

I open the car door and help Marinette in, and then I scoot in next to her. “Do you have a favorite designer?” I ask, lounging against the seats. Celeste scoots in next to me, turning away almost immediately and talking to Luka in hushed voices. Their facial expressions make me think I don’t want to know what they’re saying. Adrien and Kagami, lost in their own world, are the last two in the car.

“I love Gabriel Agreste’s work, to be honest,” Marinette says, blushing. “I think he’s so cool. And then Adrien models it and it’s just so wonderful. . .” she sighs. I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

“Did you see what he did in the fashion shoot two weeks ago?” I ask. “Adrien had this jacket that I absolutely loved.”

“The green one?”

“Yes, that one!”

“Oh, it was fantastic,” Marinette gushes. “But I don’t know where you’d wear it.”

“That’s the issue with some of his stuff,” I agree. “Not really useable to the general population.”

“Your stuff looks a bit weirder than your usual clothes, but it’s definitely stuff you have reason to wear,” I note. 

She nods. “I mean, most of it I design for myself.” She smiles, leaning over to whisper in my ear. “Celeste just glanced over here.”

I chuckle, leaning against Marinette as if what she just said was  _ so  _ funny, and Marinette giggles along with me. We laugh together, and her face is lit up, and I think this girl isn’t so bad. I think I could almost be friends with her. Shame I had to make this dance a business venture. I could enjoy going with her as friends.

We arrive at the dance and we go inside the building, where rainbow lights bounce everywhere, that annoying kid who uses ‘dude’ every other word is playing EDM music, and the line for the snack table is aggressively long for some snacks that let’s face it, probably suck. Marinette’s face lights up, though. “Alya!” she squeals, and she runs to her friend, leaving me to be alone in my personal definition of hell.

I sit in the corner like the antisocial person I am. I look through my phone for several minutes. I survey the room. I see Adrien and Kagami dancing, then they come to sit on the stairs above me. I see Marinette still talking to Alya. I see Celeste and Luka come into the courtyard, even though we’ve been here for a while. I roll my eyes. Then someone sees me and yells “Adrien, come join us!” and then I’m pulled onto the dance floor with a horrible-looking girl in a bright yellow dress.

“Adrikins,” she says, her fingers running down my arm. “Don’t you think we’d look so cute together? I’ll ditch my date, he only owes my dad a favor.”

“I’m Felix,” I say. “And frankly, I don’t think we’d look good together.” I storm away from her, circling the room twice before finding Marinette. “Let’s dance,” I say to her. “Nice seeing you, Alya. You look nice.” She’s wearing an orange dress that hugs her curves and doesn’t look anywhere near as bad as it should.

“Alright,” Marinette says, giggling, and I lead her to the dance floor right as a slow song starts. So I look around- how close should we be? There, there’s Celeste and Luka, and I mimic them, putting my hands on Marinette’s waist and pulling her close to me. She laces her fingers behind my neck, and we sway for a minute, not speaking.

“You know, I think you’re actually pretty cool,” I say to her eventually, the truth bubbling out of my lips. “We could have gone to this as friends and I wouldn’t have hated it.”

“Maybe,” she says softly. “I could have enjoyed it if you acted like this.”

“What- like this?” I say, confused and slightly annoyed.

“Nice,” she says. “You’re not nice, Felix.” The song ends and she steps back from me. “Here, come with me.”

She pulls me back to the corner below the stairs, and she looks me in the eyes. “You’re not a nice person, usually.”

“I’m nice when I want to be,” I say, coming off snarkier than I intended.

“Why don’t you want to be?” Marinette says. “You’re being nice to me and I’m honestly enjoying it, but when you’re hurting other people I don’t enjoy it.”

“I don’t care what you enjoy,” I say.

“Why not?” she asks, and I genuinely don’t have an answer. “Why don’t other people’s feelings mean anything to you, Felix?”

I stare at her for a moment before Celeste herself comes over. “Hey,” she says, smiling at Marinette. “Felix, can I talk to you for a second?” Adrien and Kagami get up and climb the rest of the stairs, making clanging noises when they walk.

“Yeah, sure,” I say, and Marinette smiles at Celeste and leaves me with my thoughts that run wildly through my head with no sense of anything. “What’s up?” I know what’s up. I know what she’ll say.

“What’re you up to?” Celeste accuses, crossing her arms and getting that face she has when she’s pissed. “You’re smiling. You’re being nice. You’re a goddamn pleasure to be around, for crying out loud.” I guessed right. The plan is working.

“What do you mean?” I ask, letting a sweet tone creep into my voice. “Am I not allowed to be a pleasure?” Marinette thinks I’m not nice, I’m not a pleasure, usually.

“What are you up to?” Celeste says again, as though I didn’t hear her the first time. I wonder if she thinks she’s intimidating. I think if I flicked her, I could knock her over. I watched her during dinner, noticing how she barely ate anything. It’s no wonder she seems so fragile.

“Jesus, Celeste, are you always this twisted?” I snap. I don’t mean to. It just comes out. “I can’t be nice without you jumping down my throat?” I wonder why it’s such a big deal that I’m nice to people. It’s annoying. Dear god, I can act however the fuck I want!

“I’m not jumping down your throat!” Celeste says defensively. “I’m just curious!” God, why does she care?

“How terrible of a person must you be,” I seethe, all of my frustration coming out at once, “to get all suspicious of someone trying to improve themselves?” Am I trying to improve myself? Should I? “For crying out loud, Celeste, I can act however the fuck I want to. It’s none of your goddamn business.” That’s true, and I should be myself, according to any coming-of-age movie ever.

“I know,” she says, her voice dry. “But if you’re trying to pull something over Marinette-” she stops, her gaze elsewhere. “You don’t get to hurt her,” she says, her voice a deep growl.

How dare she? I wouldn’t hurt Marinette. “Please,” I say, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice and failing. “Marinette can take care of herself. Are you always this nosy?” I hate Celeste right now.

“Felix,” she snaps, but I cut her off before she can go further.

“Celeste!” I shout, drowning her out. “Stop it. Go the fuck away. You don’t get to bust into my life and act like a bitch all the time, you know that? I can do whatever the fuck I want.” Her eyes are huge and her lips are parted. I should stop. I don’t. “Get the fuck away from me. I don’t want you here.” I realize how true this is. “Hell, I don’t want you in my house.” I want her out on the streets, I want her to suffer. “If I want to be nice to people, I can do that, and if I want to kick you out of my house- which I do- I can do that, too. See? Your opinions don’t fucking matter to me.” I lean over her, and she’s shaking, and the fear- the fear is exactly what I want to see. I take pleasure in saying, “You’re nothing.”

“Go to hell,” she spits, storming away from me. I open my phone, ready to text my mother that I want her out, but something in me stops and instead I lean against the wall, my head swirling with words and feelings and none of them good.

Just then, Kagami runs up to me. Her hair is mussed up, her dragon hair clip askew. “Adrien,” she says, slightly out of breath. “Thank god I found you.”

“Huh?” I say, turning to her. I’ll take this opportunity. I’ll lose myself in the character, become Adrien. I’ll leave my shitty self for the golden boy. “What’s up?”

“What’s up?” Kagami says, shaking her head. “What’s  _ up _ ? You ran out on me! After Marinette showed up!” Her face is pinched. “Come on, Adrien, wasn’t that a special moment for you?”

I stare at her for a moment, and every insecure thought, every evil wish, everything I’ve suppressed all comes out in a wave. “No,” I say, turning away as if bored. “It wasn’t special. Kagami, you don’t get to leave for Japan and make me wait for you, then show up willy-nilly and demand me- my body, to be more specific- and then you’re just going to leave again and make me wait, aren’t you?” I narrow my eyes. “Marinette’s here for me. You’ll be gone in a fortnight.”

“Adrien,” Kagami says, her eyes welling with tears. “I never told you to wait-”

“But I’m expected to, aren’t I?” I say, whirling on her. “But it’s over. I’ve been trying to think of a better way to say it, but I’m done.” She makes a tiny gasp, then runs from me, dashing out the front doors of the school. Adrien sees her and follows her. I smirk, turning away.

_ You’re not nice. _

_ Why don’t other people’s feelings mean anything to you? _

Marinette's voice bounces around in my head. Why do her words affect me so much? Celeste has yelled at me a thousand times, and I haven't cared once. Marinette is honest, and I can't stop thinking about it. About her.

Someone screams.

I look up. Everyone’s running, screaming, and then there’s more screaming. I retreat into the corner of the building, hiding in the shadows. I don’t know why they’re screaming.

Then everything goes up on fire.

Then some dragon girl takes off into the air, and everything’s on fire again. So I run. I run out the front door, bursting out of the building and taking off into the streets. I don’t know who was akumatized. I don’t know why.

I don’t know why I feel so bad. I was playing Adrien. I love playing other people. It brings me joy.

So why aren’t I happier?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright! now you know felix's side of the story- but we still don't know everything that happened that night. someone else could possibly shine some light on the situation....


	30. luka is questioning, marinette is confused, adrien is conflicted (the snow ball part III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so i was going to write a different chapter for all six of them, and then i started luka's and realized if i was getting tired of writing them, y'all are gonna get tired of reading them if you haven't already. celeste and felix were the most important anyway, so at least i got those out of the way! anyway, i focused on the important parts this chapter, and we've got three points of view, so get ready. hope you enjoy! :)

_ luka _

“You’re sure you’re fine getting over there?” I ask Juleka as I loop the end of the tie through the knot and pull it tight. “I can see if there’s room-”

“Rose’s mom is driving us,” Juleka says. She gives me a kiss on the cheek. “You look great, brother.” Rose walking by to pick up Juleka soon; the two will get dressed at Rose’s house. I wish I could see Jules off, but I have to go pick up Celeste, and she’s all too eager to get me out of the house.

“Thanks, Jules,” I say, smiling. “I’ll see you there?”

“Of course,” Juleka says, so with a kiss goodbye and a wave to our mom, I hop on my bike and head over to the Agreste manor. The camera comes out, asking me to identify myself.

“Luka Couffaine, here to pick up Celeste?” I say. The camera whirs as it goes back into the wall and the gate opens. A limo pulls up behind me as I bike inside. Marinette and Kagami get out while I hop off my bike.

“Thanks for driving me over,” Marinette says to Kagami. She’s looking quite lovely tonight in a blush dress that makes her pale skin look even more delicate. She notices me. “Hey, Luka!”

“Hey,” I say. The bodyguard man comes out and takes my bike. “Hey!”

“He’s keeping it safe for you, don’t worry,” Gabriel’s assistant says, lingering on the steps. “It’s about time you arrived.”

“How are you, Nathalie?” Kagami asks.

“I’m fine, Kagami,” Nathalie says, opening the door and motioning us inside. “Everyone’s here!”

Felix stands from his chair, coming over to greet Marinette with a smile. I have to do a double-take; I thought he was Adrien at first. He laughs and smiles while he talks to Marinette, looking downright approachable.

I look up at the right moment- Celeste descending the stairs with Adrien, him her escort. She sees me and smiles ever so slightly, and I yearn for her to be down here right now so I can hold her close to me. She’s beautiful, so beautiful.

I twirl her when she reaches me. I don’t know why. I just do. “You’re beautiful,” I say, and thus begins a perfect night.

Making out with her in front of school is magical. Finally, she’s gotten Felix out of her mind and she’s completely and utterly present, utterly mine. She doesn’t know it, but she’s good at kissing. I lose myself entirely with her.

Then we’re inside and I see Juleka, and my sister is beautiful and irrevocably herself tonight, and it makes me happy beyond compare. And we dance- I’m a terrible dancer, but it makes Celeste smile, and then she’s slow dancing with me, and I think I could freeze this moment and live in it forever.

Then she says she has to go talk to Felix, with the promise she’ll come back and we’ll go find a room. I thought he was gone from her thoughts, but apparently not. I’m glad she’s finally talking to him- it’ll get him out of her head. She’s completely preoccupied with him- it’s one of the charming things about her, how she get so fixated on things. It’s adorable.

“Luka,” someone says while I’m getting punch. “Can we talk?” I turn around, a cup in each hand, and it’s Marinette.

“Sure,” I say. “Let’s go somewhere I can hear you better.” So she and I walk to a corner of the courtyard, and then I gesture for her to go on.

“Luka, I’m sorry,” Marinette says, looking at her feet. “Years ago, when we dated, and I was so focused on Adrien, and I didn’t give you any of the respect or attention you deserved.”

“Oh,” I say, taken off guard. “I- that’s all in the past, Marinette.”

“I wanted to apologize,” Marinette says. “Because I wanted to try again with you. With us.”

I stare at her. “Marinette-”

“Don’t tell me you don’t feel it,” Marinette says quickly, shuffling her feet. “I know you feel it too. I know you still want me, even if it’s deep down, Luka.” She reaches out, placing her hand on my chest. “We had something, you know that. And I want to explore it with you.”

I stand there. I say nothing. If she’d said it three weeks ago, I would have swept her off her feet in a heartbeat. I’d have kissed her until neither of us could breathe. But now. . . “Marinette,” I say slowly. “Marinette, you can’t-”

“Luka, I  _ had  _ to,” she says, tears sparkling in her eyes. “I couldn’t suppress these feelings, Luka!”

“I can’t,” I say. “I can’t! Marinette, anything we had died two years ago!” I shake my head. “I’m dating Celeste. Celeste is my girlfriend.”

“You’d choose her over me?” Marinette says, her nose pink, lip quivering.

I nod slowly. “I think I just did.”

Marinette stares at me, and with a tiny gasp turns and runs. I turn away from her. Why was that so hard?

Why is the image of her lips still dancing in my head?

_ marinette _

I climb the stairs two at a time, trying to hold back the tears. I lost Luka. I’ve lost Luka’s feelings for me. How did I manage to mess everything up?

I throw open the door to the first empty classroom I see, hiccupping, the tears finally streaming down my cheeks. Running inside, I stop dead in my tracks when I see a shirtless Adrien and an almost-naked Kagami sprawled across the teacher’s desk.

“Oh,” I say, my voice thick with tears. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” I turn and flee again, taking off around the hallway. This time I check the room before I burst inside, crying my eyes out as I slump onto the floor, leaning on the teacher’s desk.

Luka doesn’t feel anything for me- it was always sort of an ego boost, thinking ‘at least Luka likes me’ but he doesn’t, not in that way, not when I think I finally have feelings for him. Why do I have the worst timing when it comes to my feelings?

And Adrien. I guess I really ought to give up on him. I don’t think I would have been able to do it if I hadn’t walked in on him and Kagami, because oh my god even if she were still in Japan I would have no shot, would I? He’s really devoted to her, like really devoted. Wow. I’m nothing compared to her.

“Marinette?” Adrien asks, poking his head through the door. “What’s wrong?”

“I- you should go back to Kagami,” I say. “Sorry I interrupted you two.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Adrien says, coming over to sit next to me on the floor. “What happened?”

“I- it’s nothing,” I say, shrugging.

“Do you want me to stay?” Adrien asks, and I shrug. He puts his arm around me anyway.

“I had a crush on you once, you know that?” I say, looking up. I don’t know how I’m managing this. I guess I’ve given up. “It was a long time ago.” Not really, but I wanted to say it and I certainly can’t admit it.

“Really?” Adrien asks. “I never knew.”

“Back when the only person you crushed on was Ladybug,” I say, laughing despite myself. I’m Ladybug, isn’t that funny? He crushed on me but not  _ me _ .

“Oh,” Adrien says, leaning back, head tilted up. “That was a long time ago.”

“You should find Kagami,” I say again, and Adrien nods.

“I guess I should.” He gets up and leaves, and I feel more empty than I did before.

_ adrien _

I close the door carefully behind me, leaving Marinette alone. She had a crush on me. Huh.

That’s not important right now. What’s important is Kagami. I go back to the classroom where we almost went all the way. She’s not there.

“Kagami?” I call out. “Kagami, where are you?” I don’t have a nickname for her. I asked her about it once, but she said nicknames weren’t her thing. I wish I had a nickname to shout. “Kagami?”

I look down, and she’s talking to Felix, backing up. I stiffen. Of course. Of course he’s being nasty while he impersonates me again. God, you think he’d stop! You think he’d grow up!

I take off down the stairs, watching her the whole time. She runs from him; I run after her. “Kagami!” I cry again when we’re out front. “Kagami, that was Felix, not me!”

She turns to me, tears in her eyes. “Adrien?”

“You were talking to Felix,” I say, stepping closer to her. She steps back, shaking her head.

“He was right,” she sobs. “He was right.” Her face is red and blotchy, her porcelain skin marred by sadness. She chokes back a sob. “He’s a dick, but he’s  _ right _ .”

“Whatever he said,” I say, hands out, “he’s wrong, Kagami. Come on, you know he just says horrible things to mess with you.”

“You waited for me,” she says, sniffing. “Didn’t you?”

I stop, all conviction gone. “Of- of course. Kagami, of course I waited.” My voice is subdued. My hands fall to my sides.

“You waited for a  _ year _ ,” she says, her voice shaking. “A  _ year _ .” She bites her lip, tears welling up in her eyes. “For what? For  _ this _ ?”

“Kagami, I’ll wait for you always,” I say, tears coming into my own eyes. “I _ love _ you.”

“And I’m  _ leaving _ !” she gasps. “I’m going back, Adrien, as soon as that tournament’s done. And then what? Are you going to wait again?” I open my mouth, all words lost, and she sobs. “You can’t, Adrien, you can’t! I can’t do that to you!”

“Kagami,” I say, crying myself. “Kagami, I’ll see you again.”

“When?” she whispers. “When? Do you have an answer to that?”

“I- I-” I say, and then I’m shaking my head. “What does any this even mean? I don’t care if I have to wait fifty years to see you again.”

“But I do,” Kagami whispers. “It’s been magical, Adrien.” She turns up her face to me, and tears are running in rivers down her cheeks.

“Kagami, we can’t!” I cry. People are running out of the school behind me, streaming past us, but we’re two rocks in a raging river that can’t be moved with the current. “You can’t.”

“I  _ have _ to,” she says, her voice shaking and cracking and fissuring apart with my heart. “Adrien, we can’t be together anymore.”

“Kagami,” I whisper, unable to comprehend anything happening around me, and then I see it. The akuma. Diving at her head. “Kagami, watch out!” I scream.

She looks up, sees the akuma. She gasps, and she tries to move, but not fast enough, and it slams into her hair clip, the dragon fizzing purple. A glowing mask descends onto her face and she squeezes her eyes shut, her whole body tensing. “Kagami, fight it!” I cry, thinking of the pain Celeste was in and wondering if it’s even possible.

She opens her mouth, a pained wail escaping. I step forward, but I’m afraid to touch her, and I’m crying out for her to fight it, stay strong, repel it, and then she opens her eyes and her face crumples and she whispers, “I’m sorry, Adrien.”

Her body dissolves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope that wasn't too confusing. let me know, will you?


	31. something is wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright y'all, i know i didn't post anything yesterday, but granted i don't think anyone's reading this far (if you are you're the best and i love you) :)

When I come to, I’m in a car. In Luka’s lap. I blink several times, wondering why my head feels so full of cotton. “Luka?” I whisper.

“Celeste,” he says, his voice breaking. “Oh, thank god.” He presses a kiss to my forehead. “What happened?”

“I got dizzy,” I whisper, the events coming back to me. How I fought Dragon and I detransformed and the events of everything added up to panic. “I was hiding and I got dizzy and I shouldn’t have run but I was scared I would pass out and no one would be able to find me.” A tear falls out of my eye and drops down towards my ear. I wipe it away, slowly trying to push myself to a sitting position. My head spins, and I drop quickly, Luka’s legs serving as a pillow.

“Oh, Celeste,” Luka whispers. “Oh, baby.” I smile slightly at the name.

“Where are we going?” I ask, my voice weak.

“We’re going to the hospital,” Luka says. “I tried to call your dad, but he didn’t pick up.” He strokes my hair. “You’re going to be fine. We’ll just figure out what’s causing these dizzy spells.”

“The hospital?” I whisper. “Please, Luka, no.”

“Celeste, you’ve been feeling dizzy all the time,” Luka says. “Let me help you.”

I bite my cheek. Luka doesn’t say anything else; he just strokes my hair. The car stops at a red light, and I stare at the street. The sun is setting. People go about their lives. They’re fine. Why am I not?

“Can you two stop?” I turn my head, seeing Felix in the front seat. “Like really. Stop. Hand away from her hair.” He glares at Luka. “Or you can just get out of the car.”

“Thanks for the ride, Felix,” Luka says, and he removes his hand from my head. “Do you see Adrien anywhere?”

“Nope,” Felix says. “Even though Gorilla here is looking furiously.” He nods to Adrien’s bodyguard, who’s indeed looking pissed off. His little eyes scan the streets back and forth. I watch them in the rearview mirror. Then I squeeze my eyes shut.

“How long was I out?” I ask quietly.

Luka swallows. “Only about fifteen minutes.” He smiles, but it’s more of a grimace. “Luckily Adrien’s bodyguard was on his way to pick him up as soon as the akuma alert sounded. Otherwise I don’t know what I’d be doing.” He lets out a shaky breath. “You scared the crap out of me, Celeste.”

I blush. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Luka says. “It’s not under your control.” He reaches down and takes my hand, squeezing it.

Felix clears his throat.

Luka lets go of my hand.

“Adrien!” Felix calls out several blocks later. He points down a side street, and the gorilla turns the wheel sharply. I almost roll of off Luka’s lap. He grabs me and pulls me back into his lap, propping me up like a doll. I push myself up to a seated position, leaning against him.

“Sorry,” I say, out of breath.

“Sorry we didn’t strap you in,” Luka says, laughing half-heartedly. “You’re really light, you know.”

“She really is,” Felix drawls. He glares at me in the rearview mirror. I stare back at him.

The Gorilla parks the car next to a park, getting out quickly. Adrien’s sitting by himself in the middle of the park. His hair is rumpled. His knees are folded up into his chest. He sits staring straight out. The setting sun illuminates him, hair lighting up golden.

“He’s upset,” I say, watching the Gorilla storm over. Adrien shakes his head when Gorilla asks him something. “Luka, he’s upset.”

Luka nods. “Want me to help you walk over there?”

“Please,” I say, and with Luka’s arm wrapped around me, I slowly make my way over to Adrien, patting the gorilla on the arm as I sit next to him, blinking to clear the fuzz from my eyes. “Adrien?”

“Celeste,” he whispers. “How did everything go so wrong so fast?”

I give Luka a tiny nod; he takes the gorilla and leads him away, giving us privacy. “I don’t know,” I answer truthfully. “I don’t know, Adrien.” I wrap my arm around him, and he leans into me and he cries.

“She broke up with me,” he says, heaving breaths. He gulps. “She didn’t want me to wait for her.” He lets out a heartbreaking wail. “And she left me here.”

“Oh,” I say, realizing what he’s lost. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah,” he gasps. “And you know why she did it? Felix! Felix of all people. He said something that made her do this.”

“Felix?” I whisper. A cold fury comes over me. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Celeste, no,” Adrien says, sitting up and wiping a tear off his cheek. “Don’t do that. Don’t worry about that.” He gives a smile. “Thanks, though.”

“Do you want to go home?” I ask him. The sun’s almost set now, and shadows are thrown across the park.

“I don’t- I don’t want to be alone,” Adrien says quietly. “I don’t want to be here but I don’t want to be alone.” His eyes meet mine, fracturing emeralds meeting mine, and I nod. I don’t know what I see in his eyes, but I’m concerned for it.

“You can stay with me tonight,” I say softly. “Stay in my room. Like a sleepover.”

“I’ve never been on a sleepover,” Adrien says, blinking.

I stare at him for a moment. “Oh.” I swallow. “Well, tonight’s your lucky night, then.”

He nods. I clear my throat. “Let’s get you to the car, then.” I get up slowly to my feet and my head spins again. I press a hand to my temple, closing my eyes while Adrien unfolds himself and stands. I open my eyes gently, then take his arm and start walking to the car, trying not to lean on him too much. Luka and the gorilla are waiting for us.

“Here,” I say, stepping out of the way so Adrien can get in first. “Can we just go home? Is that okay?”

“You need to go-” Luka starts, but I shake my head, cutting him off.

“Tomorrow.” I say it in a way that means it’s final. Luka looks at me questioningly, but I shake my head ever so slightly.

“We have to wait for Felix,” Luka says. “He went off to talk to Marinette.” He points to where Felix and Marinette are waving each other goodbye on the other side of the park.

“Felix,” I say, blood boiling in my veins. Adrien looks up, seeing him, and a tear rolls down his cheek. That does it for me. “Felix!” I scream.

“Celeste, what are you doing-” Luka says, stopping abruptly when I storm away from the car, back into the park, towards Felix, who’s coming towards me.

“Felix, you son-of-a-bitch,” I spit. “You happy? Does this bring you some sick joy?” My head pounds, and I try to stay upright, on my feet. “Do you enjoy ruining relationships? Adrien is heartbroken, thanks to you!” The world spins, and I stumble, pressing a hand to my head.

“Celeste,” Felix says. “Are you okay?” He steps closer to me and I recoil.

“No, I am not okay!” I scream. “Thanks to you! Do you know what it feels like to be continually dragged at, mocked, belittled?” I’m fighting just to stay on my own two feet. “I am a  _ shell _ of the person I used to be thanks to you and your  _ despicable _ mother, and you can’t just ruin my life. Oh, no,” I spit. “You can’t just go after me. You have your reasons for hating me. But Adrien? Really?” I take one more step towards Felix, my finger brandished towards him and pointing right where his heart would be if he had one. “He did nothing to you. Nothing. But you had to break him, too?”

“Celeste,” Felix growls. “You don’t know-”

“No, I don’t!” I shriek. Spots are dancing in front of my eyes. “I don’t know why you’re nice to me one day, then terrible the next. I don’t know why you get a kick out of ruining people’s days. I don’t know why I live in your goddamn house, because I thought my dad was supposed to be your fucking bodyguard and I’m lucky if I get to see him anymore.” Felix steps closer to me, but I don’t back away, taking shaky, heaving breaths. “I don’t know why you hate me so much, when we only knew each other out of a coincidence!”

“This isn’t the time, Celeste,” Felix growls. “Let’s discuss this later, shall we?”

“No,” I gasp. “No, now.”

Felix rolls his eyes. “Not in the mood.” He brushes past me, clipping my shoulder as he strides confidently towards the car, uncaring about anything he’s done. I stagger from the hit, turning around to face him. I meet Luka’s eyes in the car before, utterly exhausted, I take one step towards him and fall face-first towards the ground, the world spinning away.

When I wake up, I’m in my bed. In my room. I shiver instinctively; someone has removed my clothes and put me in my pajamas, a tank top and flannel pants, and then they left my arms exposed. Goosebumps dance across my flesh.

I groan. My eyes wearily search the room, and I find Adrien sitting at the corner of my bed on my right, and Luka on the left.

“Celeste, thank god,” Luka says, getting up instantly and coming up to me. “Thank god you’re awake, oh my god.” He kneels next to my bed, his face close to mine. “It’s been an hour.”

“Wow,” I whisper. “Who- who dressed me?”

“Nathalie,” Adrien says. “She gave you a bath, too- you were sweating at first.” He takes a deep breath. “Thanks for yelling at Felix for me, but you really shouldn’t have.”

“You  _ really  _ shouldn’t have,” Luka says, squeezing my hand. “Celeste, you have to take care of yourself.”

“I am,” I whisper. “I don’t know why the dizzy spells keep happening. I haven’t passed out before today.”

“I’m still staying in here tonight,” Adrien says. “Just to keep an eye on you.”

“And you still don’t want to be alone, do you?” I ask. He shakes his head, biting his lip. I nod. “I don’t really want to be alone either.”

“I’ll stay as long as you need me to,” Luka says. “I already helped Adrien bring in a mattress and his pillow and all that, so that’s taken care of.”

I nod, and I lean over enough to give him a kiss. “Won’t your mom notice your absence?”

He shrugs. “I texted Jules you had a problem come up. She’ll let my mom know.”

I smile, trying to sit up a bit in bed but immediately regretting it. “Whoa.”

“Easy,” Luka says quickly.

Just then the door swings open, and Felix marches in with a smoothie. He hands it to Luka. “Good,” he says. “You’re awake.”

“Not good,” I say, agitated. “You’re in here.”

Felix sighs. “Adrien and I talked it over in the car, Celeste. We acknowledged that I should have been nicer, and that I did not tell Kagami to dump him.” He rolls his eyes. “And when I was talking to Marinette in the park, I was telling her I would try to be better. She flat-out told me I wasn’t a nice person tonight.” Felix shrugs. “I realized she was right. I plan on trying to be better.”

“Marinette was in quite the mood tonight,” Adrien says. “Very forward with me, too.”

“And me,” Luka says quietly. I look at him and he avoids my eyes.

“Drink your smoothie,” Felix says. “You didn’t eat much tonight. I’m sure that’s why you fainted.”

“Fainted makes me sound so delicate,” I say, scowling. But I take the smoothie.

“You are delicate,” Felix retorts. “For crying out loud, I could snap you in half.”

I frown at him. He shrugs. “What? That wasn’t mean.”

Luka sighs. “Not the right time, dude.” He loosens his tie, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. “Celeste, are you cold?”

“A little bit,” I say. “I have sweaters in the bottom drawer over there.”

“I’ll grab you one,” Luka says, getting up. When he comes back, I scoot over on my bed, making room for him even though it’s just a twin-sized bed. Luka, a teasing smile on his lips, climbs on and wraps the sweater around me.

Felix sighs as he sits on the corner of the bed. “I suppose telling you two I find this disgusting would be rude.”

“Terribly,” I say.

Felix sighs. “I guess I’ve got a lot to learn.”

As the evening progresses, I finish my smoothie. Felix apologizes to Adrien again, then leaves to go to bed. Adrien falls asleep on the floor. I turn onto my side, and Luka lies next to me, and I fall asleep warm as the little spoon, and for a moment everything is almost perfect.


	32. i'm breaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> having some writer's block rn, so chapter ideas aren't really strong or existing rn. so these might be a bit slow for a bit. sorry.

I’m awoken by a knock on the door, and I blink my eyes several times to clear the sleep from my brain. The knock sounds again.

“Who is it?” I call. I sit up, and something crinkles. I look and see a folded piece of paper.  _ Celeste _ , it says.  _ From Luka. _

“It’s Nathalie,” she says. “I’m here to collect you for testing.” Adrien sits bolt upright on the floor. 

“I- I need a minute, but I’ll be there!” I call. I hear her heels clicking away as I jump out of bed and stumble into the bathroom.

“Testing?” Adrien says. “Celeste, you need to go to a doctor.”

“Can’t,” I say, brushing my teeth as quickly as I can. I spit out a wad of toothpaste into the sink. “I said I wouldn’t complain or anything in exchange for them not doing it yesterday.” I run a brush through my hair and splash water onto my face, coming out of the bathroom. “I need clothes,” I muse.

“Why wouldn’t you want them to do it yesterday?” Adrien says, a suspicious look on his face. “Also, didn’t you volunteer for this?”

I grab a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, going back into the bathroom. “Don’t worry about it, Adrien,” I say. “You should go back to your room, anyway.” I avoid his eyes when I come out, reaching for my sweater then deciding against it, grabbing the note from Luka instead. My hand goes to my wrist, feeling the two disgusting scabs from last week.

“Celeste,” Adrien says, but I brush past him.

“Got to go,” I say, leaving the door open behind me. I open the note as soon as I’m the hallway.

_ Celeste- _

_ Sorry I had to leave. I thought it’d be best if Felix didn’t see me here in the morning. I waited until you fell asleep, though. _

_ Promise me you’ll go to the doctor? You need to check out these dizzy spells, babygirl. (I hope you don’t mind me calling you that. I’ve always been better with a guitar than words.) _

_ Yours, _

_ Luka _

I hug the note to my chest, smiling, then tuck it into my pocket. I enter Gabriel’s office without knocking.

“Knock,” he snaps. I roll my eyes, leaving the room, and knocking exaggeratedly on the door. “Come in.”

“So sorry, sir,” I say, trying to keep the sarcastic note out of my voice. I fail.

“You promised,” Gabriel says. “Since you said you’d cooperate, we have no need for the table, do we?”

“No, sir,” I say, my bravado gone.

“Good.” Gabriel points to the chair. That stupid, sad chair. I’d almost forgotten about this damn pathetic chair. I slump into it, and it scoots backwards an inch, making this awful screeching noise.

“Do you need more skin?” I ask.

“No, the skin samples we took gave us the information we needed,” Gabriel says. “So today we’ll just be starting some samples.” He taps a syringe with his finger. It’s full of nasty-looking blackish liquid.

“That’s going into me,” I say, deadpan.

“Correct,” Gabriel says. “Nathalie, get a half liter from her first.”

“That’s still a lot,” I complain.

“We think this would work better if you were weakened,” Nathalie explains, sticking a needle into my arm almost immediately. I hiss, looking away.

“Well, I’m glad you’re honest,” I say. “But frankly I’m already weakened- I passed out twice yesterday. I ate like two bites at dinner last night. I haven’t had anything since. I’ve been getting dizzy spells the past week.”

“Then it ought to be extra effective,” Gabriel says. He types something into his computer. “What are your plans for the rest of the day?”

“Go to the doctor and find out why I passed out,” I say. “Homework.”

“Cancel the doctor,” Gabriel says. “They’d need a blood test, and frankly I don’t want anyone seeing this.”

“But- but something could be seriously wrong,” I say, blinking.

“No complaining,” he snaps. “No resisting.”

“Yes, sir,” I say, swallowing. Sorry, Luka. Guess I’ll just die in here. God, what a way to go. I make a mental note to throw myself out my bedroom window if I’m dying in the Agreste mansion. At least I’ll be dead on the street and not in here.

“Finished, sir,” Nathalie says, standing up with a bag of blood. I sigh.

Gabriel steps forward. “Nathalie, turn on the video camera.”

“You’re filming this?” I say, turning my head. I can’t see a camera. Then one of the portraits on the wall, one of a fashion model, gets a red light in her eye. “Of course.”

“Trial one, on January 31, at 8:14 A.M.,” Gabriel says, staring at the camera. “Formula A.” He takes the syringe, tapping it a couple more times, then gathers the hair from around my neck and moves it back. I grit my teeth. I feel him insert the needle into my neck, and I resist the urge to move, the urge to kick him in the balls and run. I hear a soft noise as he depletes the contents of the syringe into my body.

I scream. It feels like there’s an akuma in my skin. I scream again, my voice breaking, and my body contorts. I fall out of the chair, shaking uncontrollably as my veins light themselves on fire. And just like that it’s done, it’s over, and I’m crying, shaking with the weight of my sobs as I lie on the floor.

“Nathalie,” Gabriel says. “Next time we’ll give her a tracker so the camera follows her.” He walks to the wall and removes the portrait, pulling the camera out of the wall. “Celeste, would you like to see your performance?”

“No,” I gasp.

He sighs, a huff of frustration. “Very well. You may be excused.” I blink. That was quick. “Remember the price if anyone knows.”

“I know,” I say.

Shakily, I get to my feet, having to lean against the wall. My whole body feels weak and shaky. I feel like a sheet of ice- one hit, and I’ll shatter. Also, I’m cold.

I lean on the wall all the way around the entrance hall. Which takes  _ so long _ because the place is huge, but I don’t think I can walk on my own. So I follow the wall all the way around, and then I go down the hallway that goes to my room, and I step in and almost eat it on the mattress that Adrien has not moved, because Adrien himself has not moved.

“Celeste,” he says, jumping to his feet. “Celeste, are you okay?”

“Get out,” I say, waving him away. I stumble to the bathroom, shutting the door and leaning heavily on the sink. I look in the mirror. A network of greyish veins has spread out from the injection site. I shake my head, letting my hair fall over it and cover them.

I step out of the bathroom. “Adrien, get out,” I growl. “Just- just get out.”

“Celeste, you’re so pale,” Adrien says, his face growing more and more concern. “What-”

“Get out!” I scream. I’m so close to breaking. If Adrien says one more word, I will cry and I will ruin everything. “Get out, get out!”

“I- okay,” Adrien says. He bends down to pick up the mattress, and I shake my head.

“Leave it,” I gasp. “Just- just go.” I flop onto my bed, closing my eyes.

“Celeste,” he says. “Celeste, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is you’re still here!” I shriek. “Get out, go!” His eyes widen, and he leaves the room, closing the door behind him. I take one shaky breath, then burst into tears. Heaving sobs, I hug my pillow. “Mom,” I sob. “Mom, I need you.”

“Celeste,” Eala says, flying out from behind my pillow. “Girl, your mom’s not gonna help you.”

“I know!” I snap. “But she wouldn’t have fucked up this bad.”

“She fucked up some in her day, trust me,” Eala says. “You want to hear about some of them?”

“No,” I whisper. “No, Eala. But thanks.”

“Anytime, girl,” Eala says. She sits down next to me.

I cry.


	33. escape is essential

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was brought to you by 2017 indie music. :D

At some point I fall asleep, and I’m awoken by something slamming into my window. Blinking my eyes open slowly, I roll off of my bed and walk to it, trying to see what’s going on.

“Those goddamn pigeons,” I groan. A cloud of them flies past me, and I see Ladybug and Chat Noir whizzing by. The pigeons punch at them- Ladybug avoids it, Chat does not. He slams face-first into my window.

I wave, giggling. He’s smushed against the glass.

“Stay inside,” Chat says, his voice muffled. He peels himself off the window and gives me a joking two-fingered salute before he heads back into the fray.

I groan. “Eala?”

“I’m here, darling,” Eala says, examining her wing tips. “Ready when you are. I mean, for crying out loud.”

“Eala, open wings,” I say, and I let the warm, fuzzy feeling cover me. Then I carefully open my window, making sure no one’s on the street, and I dive out the window, letting the wind catch my winds and carry me over the rooftops.

I catch up to the pigeon cloud quickly, and beat my wings furiously to keep them away from me. “Again?” I call.

“Again,” Ladybug confirms. “Use your power and blast them open again, if you don’t mind.” She nods to the cloud protecting Mr. Pigeon, and I take a deep breath.

“Feather dance!” I cry, and the cloud bursts open, pigeons blown out of the way by the wind. Mr. Pigeon falls into a net Ladybug must have gotten with her lucky charm, and Cat Noir grabs him and destroys his whistle with his cataclysm. Mr. Pigeon shudders, and a purple cloud covers him, transforming him back into the crazy pigeon man who sits in the park. Ladybug captures the akuma and sends her magic ladybugs out to remove all the bird shit.

“Pound it!” the three of us say, fist-bumping.

“Thank you so much,” Mr. Pigeon says. “My poor pigeon wouldn’t come to me!” He looks visibly distressed.

“I don’t mean to be rude,” I say, fidgeting with the tail of my braid, “but you get akumatized a  _ lot _ , sir. Have you considered therapy?”

“I have,” he says, pursing his lips. “But they wouldn’t let me bring my pigeons.”

“Ah.” I blink. “Well, have a nice day?”

He tips his hat and runs off. We watch him go.

“He’s an interesting man,” I say.

Chat chuckles. “No kidding.”

“I’d best be off,” Ladybug says. “See you!” With a wave, she flies off.

Chat sighs. “She’s amazing, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, she’s pretty cool,” I say. He stares in the direction she left, his eyes all moony. “You like her a lot, don’t you?”

He nods. “I love her.”

“Wow.” I blink. “That’s a lot.”

“Yeah.” Chat runs a hand through his hair, smiling. “She doesn’t feel it back, though.”

“Maybe she will,” I say. “One day.”

Chat sighs. “Maybe.” My necklace beeps. “You should go.”

“Yeah, probably,” I say. “See you around, kitty-cat.”

“See you, swan.” He waves to me as I take off, wings beating along with my pulse as I fly home and roll into my room through the open window.

“Close wings,” I say. Eala flies out and I throw a sardine tin at her. She phases through it, scrunching her little face at me as she dives at it.

“That’s unnecessary,” she says. “Considering I had to forage for my own food last night.”

“Eh,” I say, shrugging. “You’re fine, aren’t you?” I walk to the bathroom, ignoring her sassy reply. Pulling my hair away from my neck, I frown at the dark veins that still linger. Those are going to be hard to hide. I don’t own much makeup, certainly not anything strong enough to cover that.

I dig a giant turtleneck sweater out of my drawer. I hate this sweater and have it for one thing: warmth. It’s the warmest thing I own. It’s also the biggest. When I put it on, I’m swimming in it. But it’s covering the veins on my neck, so I guess it’ll do. I find a pair of purple leggings to wear with this snowy white turtleneck, and I look kind of gross, but I guess it’ll do.

I spend my afternoon working on homework and making an edit of an EDM song, making it slower and more vibey. When I get bored of that, I find a random book on my shelf about fifteenth century medieval life that actually proves to be somewhat interesting, and that’s the book I’m reading when Felix comes in to get me for dinner.

“You look like a marshmallow,” he says.

I roll my eyes. “How’s being nice going, Felix?”

“I’m not being mean. I’m just stating facts.” He crosses his arms. The sad truth is that I  _ do  _ look like a marshmallow. “You ready for dinner?”

“I’m surprised you’re still coming to get me,” I say while we walk to the dining room. I still feel woozy. I haven’t eaten anything today, have I? I haven’t. I should try at dinner.

“My mother and I have spoken,” Felix says. “I told her I’m only getting you to make sure you’re on time. We don’t want to have another scene.”

“Oh, heaven forbid Hawkmoth attack me because of your mother,” I say, trying to keep the venom out of my tone.

“Please,” Felix says. “I actually think you’re not as horrible as I originally believed you to be.”

“Well,” I say, smiling, “Felix, that was downright sweet, for you.”

“Thanks,” he grunts. We reach the dining room, and I pull on the doorknob. It doesn’t budge, and the effort is slightly tiring.

Felix gives me a weird look when I stumble back. “It’s a push door, sweetie.” He rolls his eyes, pushing the door open and ushering me inside. I blush, slightly embarrassed.

I sit down at my place, waiting patiently for Gabriel and Nathalie to arrive. Adrien’s already here, pleasantly chatting with Amelie. She laughs as we enter, and stops when she sees me.

I look at my plate. It’s pork chops- I can eat that- and spinach- nope- and some sort of weird rice stuff. I poke at it with my fork. I don’t know about this. Frankly, I’m not hungry, but I’ve been feeling so rough lately I think I probably should.

Gabriel and Nathalie arrive, and we start eating. I cut my pork chop into tiny pieces, taking miniscule bites as Adrien talks about a modelling shoot he has on Wednesday and Felix fills his mother in on a redacted version of everything that happened last night.

“Did you have fun, Adrien?” Gabriel says.

“Initially, yeah,” Adrien says. He puts down his utensils and his face falls. “Then Kagami broke up with me.”

“That’s too bad,” Gabriel says, returning to his food. “I always thought you two would make a good pair.”

Adrien opens his mouth, then stops. “Ex- excuse me,” he mumbles, getting up from the table and quickly leaving the room.

“How was that strange girl?” Amelie asks Felix. “Did you have a fun time with her?”

“Marinette was fun,” Felix says. “She’s honest.” He goes back to eating, too. I brave a bite of the rice stuff. It’s slimy. I fear I might vomit.

“You went with that guitarist in Adrien’s band, did you not?” Gabriel asks me. I start.

“I- yeah,” I say. I eat another bite of pork chop. That’s half of it gone. Dad would be proud.

“How was your night?” Gabriel asks.

I can’t help being passive-aggressive. “Oh, it was just grand until I passed out.” I take a sip of water, staring into his narrowed eyes. “Twice.”

“Did you ever get that checked out?” Felix asks.

I shake my head. “Nope. It would apparently interfere with Mr. Agreste’s tests to see if he can replicate my akuma-defying abilities.”

“But surely your health has to be preserved if he wants to figure it out,” Felix says. He stares at me, his eyes worried. “Mr. Agreste, what’s the reasoning for that?”

“I’m very close to a breakthrough, I believe,” he says. “She’ll be able to go to a doctor soon. Besides, you feel fine today, don’t you, Celeste?” He glares at me.

I keep my face looking as innocent as a baby. “I do feel better today,” I say. I don’t say I feel good, or even fine. Just better. I bat my eyelashes at Gabriel, and he sneers at me. “I think I’d like to be excused.”

“Go,” Amelie barks, and I see venom in her eyes, so I get up and scurry out of the room. I close the door quietly behind me, and then I have a decision. I look to my left, where my room is, and then to the right, where Adrien is. He seemed upset.

So I start climbing stairs, slowly making my way up to his room. He has a Bear Crossing sign on his door. I don’t know what that is. It doesn’t really seem his style. Also, it’s not like there are bears in Paris; at least, not any that aren’t in a zoo.

“Adrien?” I say softly, poking my head through his door while I knock. I know I should knock first, but whatever. “Adrien, you in here?”

I hear a snuffle, and I ease the door shut behind me. “Adrien,” I call. “Where are you?” Another sniff, and I let my feet wander towards his bed. There’s a giant lump on it. “Adrien,” I say softly. “It’s okay. I’m here. Your stand-in mom is here.”

He pokes his head out of the mess of blankets. “I don’t want to think about it. About her.”

“Then let’s not,” I say, trying to ignore his broken eyes and puffy face and red nose. “What do you want to do?”

He wipes his nose on the back of his hand. “I want to get out of here.”

“Alright,” I say. “Do you want to clean yourself up first?” I give him a pointed look. “Maybe wash the snot off your hand?”

“There’s no snot on my hand,” he says, looking at it.

“You wiped your nose with it.”

“Yeah, but there’s no- yes, I’ll clean myself up first.” He sighs, shoving the blankets away and walking, his shoulders slumped and body defeated, to the bathroom. He closes the door. “Celeste, do you want to clean yourself up first?”

“I didn’t wipe my nose, as a matter of fact.”

“Yes,” Adrien calls, and I hear running water, “but as a Parisian fashion model, I can’t let you go out wearing that sweater.”

“It’s warm!”

“It looks like a balloon,” Adrien says, coming out of the bathroom. “Come on, let me distract myself tonight. We can’t have nearly as much fun if we’re not dressed right.”

“Are you trying to go clubbing or something?” I ask, laughing.

Adrien taps his chin, thinking. “Not at the moment.”

“Alright,” I say. “Aren’t I supposed to be the one planning this? To distract you?”

“You don’t know anything in Paris yet,” Adrien says. “Besides, planning is distracting.”

“Fair enough,” I say. I wait for him while he swaps his white overshirt for a dark leather jacket, which looks damn fantastic with the green t-shirt he wears underneath and his dark jeans. The shirt brings out his eyes.

“Alright,” he whispers. “We’re gonna have to be quiet when we go by the dining room.” So we sneak to my room and he digs through my drawers and hands me a bundle of clothes and tells me to change so I go to the bathroom, fully aware that I have no idea what I’m doing. But I put on the purple tiered swing dress and the white cardigan over it, and I tie the laces on the white Doc Martens and admit to myself that Adrien probably has better taste in clothes than I do. Okay, definitely. I hold open my bag, letting Eala fly in, and then I open the door, twirling for Adrien.

“What do you think?” I say. “I love this.”

“Perfect,” Adrien says. “Okay, how far off the ground is your window?”

“Too far,” I say.

“With a rope?” he asks, holding it up. It’s a damn long coil. I see he’s moved my bookshelves. Apparently I’ve had a freaking rope this whole time.

“Why- how do you have a rope?” I ask weakly.

“For escape,” Adrien says. “I’ve never done it before, though.” He ties one end of the rope to one of the bedposts. He loops the other end out the window.

“Will it hold?” I ask.

“It’ll hold,” Adrien says. “Lots of time with my father keeping me home has led to me knowing how to tie some knots.”

“Alright,” I say. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“Cool,” he says, and just like that he’s out the window and I’m alone in my room. I take a deep breath.

Will I really follow Adrien Agreste, a slightly crazy boy, most definitely upset and not in his right mind? Will I really attempt to climb out my window? Will I trust this guy with a night in Paris? I stick my head out the window. It’s still pretty far to the ground. Adrien’s almost there. This all happened so fast.

But I’m going to be there for my friend.

“Don’t look up my skirt!” I call, and with a big grin, I grab the rope and climb through the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kept writing 'the' when i meant 'to' and i think i caught all of them but if i didn't. . . oops. comment if you see any lol


	34. a miraculous night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's be real, no one's reading these.

“Come on,” Adrien says, pulling me down the street as soon as I let go of the rope. “Come on, come on!” he says, laughing. I laugh and run after him, our footsteps pounding with our pulses as we jog down the street.

Right as I begin to feel a headache coming on, Adrien pulls me onto a side street and slows. “I think we’re okay now,” he whispers. “Follow me.” He leads me through back alleys and side streets, not once crossing a place I recognize, and I laugh giddily as we duck through the shadows. My head pounds, but I feel okay.

“Ice cream first, or macaroons?” Adrien asks.

“Depends which you want,” I say. “Your night.”

“Macaroons it is,” he declares, and then we’re in front of Marinette’s bakery and he opens the door, bowing to me.

“M’lady,” he jokes, and I curtsy. We're drunk on freedom and the taste of the night.

“Good sir,” I croon, and laughing, we both enter the bakery.

“What’s your favorite?” he asks me.

“What’s yours?” I deflect, raising my eyebrows.

He waves me off. “You pick this part.”

“Hello, Celeste!” Marinette’s dad crows. “And Adrien- should I go get Marinette, tell her you’re here?”

“No,” Adrien says almost too quickly. “That’s fine. Tell her we said hi, though.”

“Will do!” Marinette’s dad says. “And what can we get for you on this fine night?”

Adrien looks at me. “I don’t suppose you’re started making those grapefruit macaroons again, have you?” I ask.

“We have indeed!” Mr. Dupain bustles around until he has a box. “Here you go.” He tells me the total, and I move to pay for it, but Adrien stops me.

“Please,” he says, and we take the macaroons and we exit the shop. “So, these are good?”

“They’re fantastic,” I gush. “Where to now?”

“I’ve got the perfect place,” Adrien says. “Trust me?” He holds out his hand. 

I take it.

“This is perfect,” I agree. We’re sitting on a rooftop, looking over the wide Parisian boulevards, no one to bother us and nothing to block our view of the stars and a crisp crescent moon.

“Yeah,” Adrien says. “I- I mean, Chat Noir dumped me up here once. I had to find my own way down.”

“That’s kind of weird of him,” I say.

“He dumped you on a roof, didn’t he?” Adrien says.

I think for a moment. “Yeah. I guess he did. But he brought me home after.”

“He had a busy fight with me,” Adrien says. “He was about to transform back, as a matter of fact.”

“Oh,” I say. “Well, how’d you find that trellis to climb?”

“Luck,” Adrien says, chuckling. He picks up a macaroon, turning it over in his hands. We’ve eaten about half the box now. “I’m just glad it’s so sturdy.”

“Magic,” I say. “Cheers.” We tap macaroons.

“These are really good,” Adrien admits. “Damn.” He licks his fingers. “Grapefruit. Who knew?”

“I know, right?” I say, laughing. “I’d actually never had a macaroon before a couple weeks ago.”

“Wow,” Adrien says. “ _ Wow _ . You said you’d been here for a while!”

“I know!” I laugh. “Trust me, I was quickly made aware of how ridiculous all of it is.”

We sit in silence for a minute more, then Adrien sighs. “I can see Kagami’s reasoning behind the whole thing.”

“You understand her,” I say. It’s not a question.

He nods. “That’s the hard part. I’d do the same thing if I were her.” He bites his lip. “So why does it  _ hurt _ so much?”

“Oh, Adrien,” I say, and he breaks down as I pull him close to me, hugging him tightly on a rooftop under the stars. “Maybe it’s just the wrong timing right now, and one day she’ll be home for good and you two can be together again.”

“Maybe,” he whispers. “But I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“There are so many great guys in Japan, and everywhere,” Adrien cries. “And she’s- she’s Kagami, she’s fantastic. She’ll find someone everywhere she goes.”

“Yeah,” I say. “She can find them. But she might not want them, Adrien.”

“I don’t want anyone else, either.” He sighs, pulling away.

“You don’t want someone that’s here?” I say. “I know a lot of girls- one in particular- that’d love to date you.”

“Yeah,” Adrien says. “But they want to date Paris’s youngest top model. They want the fame, the fortune.” He takes a deep breath, pulling his knees into his chest. “They don’t want  _ me _ .”

“There are girls that do,” I say. “Girls that want you for you.”

“Marinette used to have a crush on me,” Adrien says, turning his head to meet my eyes. “Did you know that?”

“Used to?” I say, confused. “How’d you find that out?”

“She told me. She said she used to have a crush on me,” Adrien says. “How different would it have been?”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“If I’d dated her instead of Kagami.” Adrien flops backward, lying on his back, staring straight up at the sky. “Would we still be together?”

“I don’t know,” I say. “What’s she like, Marinette? I haven’t known her long.”

“She’s cool,” Adrien says, a dreamy smile crossing his face. “She’s creative. She’s always got a way to fix whatever problem you have. She’s brave, too.”

“She sounds like Ladybug,” I muse. “The bravery, the creativity.” They both have blueish hair, now that I think of it.

“But she’s unsure of herself,” Adrien says. “Marinette’s awkward. She’s clumsy. And sometimes she can get a bit jealous.” He sighs. “I don’t know, the jealousy would have sucked. She hates Chloe and Lilah, and usually it’s just because they have a crush on me.”

“You don’t think you two would have lasted,” I say.

“She would have gotten clingy, I think.” Adrien says.

“Kagami never got jealous?”

“Kagami is the kind of girl who sees what she wants and gets it,” Adrien says. “She’s determined. It’s how she’s so good at fencing- the sheer determination.” He groans. “Ask me anything else.”

“Did you ever have a crush on Ladybug?” I say. “Since she’s like Marinette but confident and sure-footed and all of that.”

“Oh, yeah,” Adrien says. He rolls onto his side. I lie down myself, pulling the macaroon box between us so we can both reach it. “I was in love with her.”

“You’re kidding,” I say. “Are you still?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Those sort of feelings don’t go away, you know?” He stares into my eyes, and I stare back at his. They’re such a strange shade of green. It doesn’t make sense in my head.

“Go for Ladybug, then.” I take a bite of macaroon. “Power couple right there. Like wow. Next top model and superhero?” I gesture with the sweet.

“She’s in love with someone,” Adrien says. “She says that every time. . . Chat Noir says he loves her.”

“Ah,” I say. “And she’s sticking with this person?”

“Yeah,” Adrien says, flopping back onto his back, folding his hands on his chest. “She’s stuck with him for years.”

“Wow,” I say. “Maybe it’s you. You never know.”

He scoffs. “I doubt it.”

“You never know,” I say. I push the macaroon box towards him. He takes the last one, sighing.

“I wish I could know how people cared for me,” he says. “Chloe’s after the fame and so’s Lilah. I don’t even know the names of most of my fans. And I just don’t trust people when they declare their love for me anymore, you know?”

“I guess,” I say, looking up at the stars myself. “That sounds really hard.”

“It is,” Adrien says, sitting up suddenly. “Thanks for listening to me, Celeste.”

I sit up myself. “Anytime, Adrien. We shook on it, remember?” His form is haloed by the faint light of the moon. I don’t know why people say the moon is dim or anything- it’s no sun, but the rays of its glow shine out from around Adrien, bathing him in silvery light.

“No,” he says, shaking his head. “No, you’re not here because of an agreement. You’re here because you’re my friend. So thank you.”

“Oh,” I say, smiling. “I mean, yeah. You’re welcome.” I stare at him for a moment. “I’m always here for you, Adrien. You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” he says softly. “Yeah, I know that.”

We both go quiet for a moment and I’m struck by the way his hair looks right now- usually it’s so nice and combed back, but now it’s unkempt, messy, and it reminds me of something but I can’t quite place my finger on it, and the moon is making it silver instead of the brassy gold it is in the light. And he’s staring at me, too, and then he leans forward and before I know anything, his mouth is on mine.

Adrien Agreste is kissing me. He’s kissing me. And fuck, he’s a good kisser.

I jerk back almost instantly once I realize what’s happening. “Adrien,” I say, my voice breaking. I look away from him, my mind swirling with emotion. “Adrien, you- you can’t. I’m with Luka.”

“I know,” he says, his voice muffled. “I know, I don’t know why I did it.”

“You’re overwhelmed,” I say. “You just went through a breakup.” I look back at him. He’s buried his face in his hands. “Just- just pretend this never happened.”

“I will,” he says, looking up at me, blinking slowly.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” I say, leaning forward, rubbing his back. “I love being your friend, Adrien. I’m just in a relationship. I  _ can’t _ .” I bite my cheek. “Luka makes me happy.”

“You see me for me,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” I say. “I am.”

“What would happen if you weren’t in a relationship?” Adrien asks quietly. “If I did that.”

I lean against him, my head on his shoulder. He starts, but relaxes quickly. “I don’t know, Adrien,” I whisper. “I don’t know.”


	35. lots of problems and few solutions

We sit on the rooftop for a while longer, and anything we say is quickly drowned out by the overwhelming roar that is the fact of Adrien kissed me. We stare at the stars for a while, neither of us saying anything of much importance if we say anything at all.

Adrien’s voice breaks the smothering silence. “It’s almost midnight,” he says. “We should go home.”

“Probably,” I agree, sitting up. I adjust my hair so it covers my neck, even though it’s too dark to see the veins of my skin. “We have school tomorrow.”

“Thank god we’re in different classes,” Adrien says. “Kagami, I mean.”

“Yeah, that’s nice,” I say.

He crawls past me on his hands and knees, finding the edge of the rooftop and slowly lowering himself down onto the trellis, his sneakers gripping the footholds as he reaches down and grabs a slanted board with his hands. I follow him to the edge, watching him descend.

“You’ve gotta stop going first,” I say, attempting to joke. “Then I have to make sure you’re not looking up my skirt when I climb.”

“Ha,” he says. “Sorry.”

“Don’t- don’t worry about it,” I say. He reaches the ground and I lower myself off the edge of the roof after him. I move my hands onto the trellis, and that’s when my head pounds. I wince.

“Celeste? You scared of heights?” Adrien says. “You’re frozen.”

“I’m fine,” I wheeze. My head pounds furiously again, and I move a hand and a foot down, trying to block it out. I move another foot and another hand and then my head constricts, and I pull myself close to the trellis, squeezing my eyes shut and praying for this to just be a migraine, not a dizzy attack.

I push my head back and immediately regret it, the world swooping around me. I press myself close to the wall again, doing the math in my head. If I’m weakened from Gabriel’s weird purple syringe and the ground is about twelve feet away, will I break a leg if I fall?

“Adrien,” I cry. “Adrien?”

“Celeste, what’s going on?” he says. “Are you okay?”

“Dizzy spell,” I gasp, panicking. “Adrien, I’m really dizzy and I don’t know why and oh my god,” I sob, “oh my god I could pass out up here Adrien help.”

“Hey- hey,” he says. “You should have gotten this checked out today, Celeste.”

“Your dad wouldn’t let me,” I say, wheezing. “He said it’d mess with his tests.”

“Sick bastard,” Adrien says. “Alright, I’m going to come up and help you, okay?”

“Can the trellis- can it support us?”

“It’s a good thing nothing’s growing on it right now,” Adrien says, and I feel the trellis groan as he climbs up next to me. A tear crawls down my face and I sniff. Fear is licking my bones.

“Okay,” Adrien says. “Okay, I’m right next to you, okay?” I keep my eyes closed. I feel his hand cover mine. It’s rough and calloused- probably from fencing. “Here, you’re going to move this hand with me, okay?” He picks up my hand and moves it, placing it on another board, and I latch on gratefully. “Now your foot.” He nudges my foot with his until that, too, is a bit closer to the ground. “Okay, you need to move your head down a bit, Celeste, so I’m putting my hand behind it and you can lean on my hand as much as you need to, but you need to move yourself as far down as possible, okay?” He helps me stay close to the wall as he talks me through climbing down, and then there comes a point when I can reach down and point my toe and the ground is  _ right  _ there and I drop, collapsing instantly on the pavement, sobbing.

“Hey, hey,” Adrien says, dropping next to me. He takes my crumpled form and pulls me close to him. “Hey, you’re okay. You’re okay.”

“I just want to know what’s wrong with me,” I whisper.

“I know,” Adrien says. “I know, Celeste.” He squeezes me and I soak up the warmth of his body as much as I can. “You want to go home?”

“Yeah,” I say softly. “Yeah, I’m tired.” Adrien removes me from his lap, then stands up, holding out a hand to pull me up. I push myself up to a seating position, and my head spins and groaning, I slump back over to fetal position. “Oh no.”

“I’ll help you walk,” Adrien says. “We’ll get you home.”

“Adrien, I can’t climb the rope,” I say desperately. “And we sure as hell can’t just waltz in the front door.” I start breathing quickly again, panicking. “Oh, this was supposed to be your night and my stupid brain is ruining everything!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay!” Adrien says quickly. “Tonight was supposed to be a distraction, and you’ve certainly distracted me. Maybe your head will clear up by the time we get home?” He reaches down and scoops me up into his arms. “I didn’t work out today anyway. This’ll be great.”

“Thanks,” I mumble, my eyes closed and my head pressed into his chest. Every step of his jostles me a bit, but not enough to actively bother me, and even if it did I’m not in any position to complain. I let myself lean on him for about fifteen minutes, and then he stops suddenly. I groan, my head pounding.

“Luka,” he calls. “Celeste, it’s Luka!”

“Luka?” I mumble. I feel like death. I get the feeling Gabriel’s awful concoction has some delayed effects.

“Celeste?” Luka says, jogging over. I blink my eyes open wearily. “Adrien, what happened to her?”

“Dizzy spell,” Adrien says. “Bad. We were hanging out when it came on, and it was really quick.”

“What’d the doctor say today?” Luka asks, pulling a strand of hair away from my face. “Here, Adrien, sit her down over here.” He ushers us to a bench, where Adrien lies me down, my head in Luka’s lap. The bench is illuminated by a street lamp that makes my skin yellow.

“I didn’t go,” I mumble. My mouth feels sticky. “Gabriel said no.”

“He did?” Luka growls.

“It’d interfere with his tests, apparently,” Adrien says, rolling his eyes. “I wonder if he’d change his mind if he saw her.”

“Maybe,” Luka says. “Oh, Celeste, you’re sweating.” He pulls hair away from my damp forehead and neck, and I weakly reach to stop him, but I hear him take a sharp breath. “Celeste, what the hell?”

“What?” Adrien says, and I turn my head, trying to hide it.

“Celeste,” Luka pleads.

“I can’t,” I moan. “Luka.” I stare at him, pleading in my eyes. Adrien, however, does not see my look and lifts my head, seeing the network of dark veins on my neck instantly, the light of the street lamp making them stand out vividly.

“What the hell?” Adrien gasps. “Celeste, there’s something seriously wrong.”

“I know,” I groan.

“What is it?” Adrien demands. Luka shifts uncomfortably. “You know!” he cries, pointing at Luka. “I’m not leaving until one of you tells me.”

“I’m telling him,” Luka says.

“You can’t!” I cry, trying to push myself up and failing. “I’ll be gone.”

“Adrien, you can’t tell a soul or Celeste gets thrown out of Paris,” Luka says. “No matter what you may think.”

“Are you caught up in drug stuff?” Adrien asks. “I won’t tell, but are you?”

“No,” I groan.

“Listen,” Luka says, and he fills Adrien in on everything his father is doing to me. When he finishes, Adrien’s mouth is wide open.

“My father’s back at that, is he?” Adrien says. “He used to try experiments with my mom’s blood, try to fix her illness. It never worked. He’s a fashion designer, not a scientist.”

“I think he’s trying to kill me,” I whisper. I haven’t admitted it to myself before now. “I think he’d rather me be dead.”

“My father’s not a killer,” Adrien says. “So that explains your weird veins and tonight’s dizzy spell.”

“Yeah,” Luka says. “But not how you’ll get home.”

“Adrien, you go in the window,” I say. “Luka can carry me home and say he found me trying to run away or something.”

“You’ll be screamed at,” Adrien says.

“Nothing I haven’t heard before,” I say. “You can at least get off free. I’m sorry.”

“I’m going to look out for you more now, okay?” Adrien says, rubbing my shoulder. I look up at him, smiling, and then I remember that he kissed me and I realize my head is in my boyfriend’s lap and I’m smiling at the guy who kissed me.

“Let’s go home,” I say quickly, and Luka helps me stand and I lean on him and Adrien, my head flopping about and then we’re walking home, and Luka scoops me into his arms so Adrien can go climb into a window. We walk around front, and I get him to lean over so I can kiss him on the cheek. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“For what?” Luka says, stopping in front of the gate.

I don’t say anything. Luka chuckles, signaling the camera to whir out at us. “I’ve got Celeste here,” he says into it. “She’s not feeling well.”

“Hi Nathalie,” I mumble. The gate opens and Luka walks me to the front door.

He knocks.

The door opens.

Gabriel- a very pissed off Gabriel- awaits.

“I’ll take her,” he growls, grabbing my arm and ripping me out of Luka’s grasp. I crash to the floor, crying out in shock and pain, and with a last look at Luka’s face, which is scared and furious and worried all at once, Gabriel slams the door in his face.


	36. an injustice is resolved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i took a teeny-tiny break. . . i've written more for this than the actual novel i'm trying to write lol. i'm in no way back into daily chapters- it's exam week time! so the next two weeks will be a little funky most likely. so yeah. this will be a bit wacky, but i'm trying my best to keep writing and not give up on this. hope you guys enjoy it! :)

“Where’s my son?” Gabriel snarls, turning around and leering at me. “Where’s Adrien?”

“I don’t know!” I cry, scooting backwards until I hit the wall. “I don’t know, I swear.” And it’s somewhat true- he could be in my room or in the hallway or still climbing. I don’t know.

“Liar,” Gabriel spits. “Nathalie, bring her to my office. We’ll do this the right way.” He fixes me with a glare that lets me know I’m not leaving that office in one piece. Or alive. I can’t tell.

“No!” I scream, as Nathalie grabs my arms, dragging me. I flail with my legs, trying to catch something, but I just manage to upheave the rug. “ _ No _ !”

“Stop struggling,” Nathalie growls. “It’ll be easier for you.”

“Let go of me-  _ let me go! _ ” I scream, twisting. My arm rips out of her grasp, and I lunge to my feet, pulling the other one out and taking three glorious steps towards my room where the window is and where I can escape before my head spins and I collapse. Nathalie stalks forward, her heels clicking, and she grabs my ankles this time, pulling me on my stomach. I claw at the floor, my nails breaking, one ripping off entirely. My fingers are coated in my blood. Trails of it coat the floor. I think of Adrien and Felix- if they see blood, they’ll surely follow it. Amelie would rather me die. The Gorilla probably doesn’t give a shit. So I have to hope it’s one of the two boys, or my dad, that sees it first.

Nathalie kicks me in the kneecap, and I cry out in pain, momentarily stopping my desperate clawing as she drags me through the doorway. I’m sobbing as I try to hold onto the doorway, then the door itself, my blood slicking up my grip and causing me to lose it. “It’s easier if you cooperate,” Nathalie says, and I react to this by screaming at the top of my lungs. She dumps me onto the sad metal chair and pulls my arms behind me, zip-tying my wrists together so if I move too much, I’ll be on the floor unable to get back up again.

Gabriel comes up and stuffs a wad of cloth in my mouth, muffling my cries of terror. He ties another rag around my head so I can’t spit it out. “Nathalie, her blood. Let’s see how she reacted to the first solution,” he says. He pulls my hair away from my neck and I shudder, tears falling down my cheeks. “I need to try to make a clear formula. This isn’t hidden.”

“Get away from me,” I try to say, but the gag in my mouth stops me from making any sounds that a normal person could form into words. I shake my head violently instead, hair covering my neck again. Gabriel growls.

“Am I going to have to tie you down tighter?” he says. “Am I?” Nathalie comes at me with a needle, and I thrash. I kick with one of my free legs, and I hit her wrist, and her hand opens, the needle clinking against the floor as she gasps. Gabriel slaps me then, a cracking noise, and I whimper, my head dropping. I feel him grabbing one of my ankles, and I’m gonna bet you it’s zip-tied to the chair in two seconds. I try to kick him when he reaches for the other ankle, but he grabs my foot and yanks- hard. I jerk towards him, but I’m attached to the chair, and the whole system topples. I crash hard to the floor, my head cracking against the tile.

“Cooperate,” he snarls. “Nathalie, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she says. She picks up the needle and turns to affix it to the IV behind me. I turn my head, trying to see it. Everything’s bright and crazy in my vision, and I blink several times.

Gabriel pushes me back to an upright position in the chair. My head lolls. Everything hurts, a deep ache in my bones. I groan as he fastens my other ankle to the chair leg. I groan again as I feel the pinch of the needle in my arm, and I know Nathalie’s standing there with a blood bag. I feel something trickle down my head, and I wonder if I cracked my skull when I fell. I suppose I ought to resolve myself to my fate.

“Father?”

I lift my head. Adrien’s standing in the doorway. Felix is standing next to him. Both are holding fencing swords and have bewildered expressions on their faces. Adrien’s staring at his father. Felix is staring at me.

“What are you doing to her?” Felix whispers.

“Father, this has to stop,” Adrien says.

“How- you’re not allowed in here, Adrien,” Gabriel growls. “Get the hell out of my sight.”

“We thought something was wrong!” Adrien cries. “I saw the blood in the hall and went to get Felix, and we thought something happened to you!”

“Out,” Gabriel says. “Now.” He turns to Nathalie. “You didn’t lock the door? You didn’t clean up the blood, dammit?” He turns back to the boys. “Out!”

“No- not unless you let us take Celeste with us!” Felix says determinedly. “What did you do to her?”

“She agreed to be tested,” Gabriel says, his voice thin and menacing. He takes a step towards his son, stepping in front of me. “She’s here of her own free will.”

“Is that why she’s tied to a chair? And gagged?” Felix says, outraged. “Let her go. Whatever you’ve got on her, we can do a thousand times worse to you now.”

“Really,” Gabriel seethes. “Really? What do  _ you _ think you’ll do to me?”

“I have pictures,” Felix says, sounding almost bored. “Of this whole thing. I took them before we came in.”

“Really,” Gabriel says again. “Prove it.”

Felix fishes his phone out of his pocket and holds it up. Whatever Gabriel sees on the screen he hates. He grabs for it, but Felix pulls it out of his grasp. “Ah ah ah,” Felix teases. “Let her go.”

“She can’t stay in this house,” Nathalie says, removing the blood bag and handing it to Gabriel. “She should find another place to live.”

“I would have said the same thing,” Felix says. Gabriel steps towards Nathalie, and I can see Adrien’s face. He looks to be in shock. “I’ll find her a place.”

“No hospitals,” Gabriel says.

“She needs one. No wonder she’s so sick all the time,” Felix snarls.

“None,” Gabriel growls. “Not a one. Or I strike again.” He turns and fixes me with a glare that means he’ll kill me. I tremble, fresh tears coming to my eyes out of fear.

“Fine,” Adrien says, and his voice is weak, his eyes hollow. “Fine. Just let her go.”

Gabriel takes one look at him, then nods, stepping entirely out of their way. Felix runs to my side instantly, Adrien at his heels. Adrien cuts my zip ties, and Felix undoes the gag, though I know if I explain anything, Gabriel will kill me.

Adrien scoops me into his arms. “Felix,” he says, nodding at the door. I close my eyes, letting myself be carried, trying not to cry more. Felix opens the door, and then the door outside. “We’re going to have to walk. The Gorilla won’t drive us, most likely.”

“Where are we going?” Felix asked. “Also, Celeste, how could you let that happen? Surely he doesn’t have something on you. I made that up.” Adrien gets us out of the gate and turns onto a dark road. The lamps are off.

“He does,” I whisper, and then I keep my mouth shut. I shake my head.

“Luka knows,” Adrien says. “God, you only told me about this stuff tonight. Where’d the blood come from?”

I release my hold on him with one hand and show off my broken nails and bloodied fingers. Felix winces. Adrien swallows. “That looks painful.”

“I was trying to keep her from taking me,” I say softly.

“Well, it told me where you were. At first, I thought you and Luka were just taking your time.” Adrien chuckles. “As you two tend to do.” He sobers up. “But I saw the blood and I thought ‘oh my god this is happening’ so I decided to get Felix.”

“Good idea,” Felix snorts. “Dear god. Crazy old bastard, isn’t he?” He sighs. “Where are we going?”

“I have no idea,” Adrien says. “Long term, no idea. But for tonight I figure Luka already knows what’s going on. He’ll understand, right?”

I nod. “He’ll understand.”

“And you’ll have Juleka, too,” Felix says. “She’s pretty cool.”

“She is,” Adrien says. “She’ll probably help you out.”

“She’ll help,” Felix says, and that’s that.


	37. this time will be better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so i'm terrible at posting chapters regularly. so we're gonna make this a weekly thing. if that works out, bi-weekly. but for right now, every thursday i'm gonna post a new chapter. so let's do this :)

“Luka?” Adrien says. I’m on the couch on the boat while he knocks on the door. “Luka, are you up? Or Juleka? Or a responsible adult, please?”

Juleka pokes her head out of the door and gasps. “Adrien, what are you doing here at this hour?” She yawns. “It’s almost midnight. We have school tomorrow.”

“Is your mom home?” Adrien asks, rubbing his arm. Felix rubs my arm while I try to sit up. “Or Luka?”

“Oh my god, is that Celeste?” Juleka says. “Celeste, what happened?” Her amber eyes glitter with concern.

“It’s a long story,” Felix snaps. “Luka knows.” He props me up entirely. I groan, rubbing my head. It hurts from when I tried to break out of the chair and smacked it on the floor. Felix pulls me to lean on his shoulder. I close my eyes as he wraps his arm around me.

“Luka!” Juleka calls. “It’s Celeste.” She turns back to Adrien. “My mom’s out of town. How can we help?”

“Celeste?” Luka says, poking his head out. He’s wearing a grey t-shirt and a pair of teal plaid pajama pants. I lift my head when I see him, and he takes one look at my tired face and bloody hands and the dried trickle of blood on my forehead and all of the blood rushes from his face. “Celeste!” He rushes to my side. Felix eases me onto his shoulder as he kisses my forehead. I make a small noise in my throat.

“Can she stay with you?” Felix asks, standing up. “We’ll find her somewhere new tomorrow, but she needs rest.”

“I’m worried about her head,” Adrien says. Luka pulls back a strand of my hair, frowning, then gasps when he sees the blood.

“Juleka, can you find something to clean her up?” Luka says. “And some pajamas, maybe?” Juleka nods, turning on her heel and vanishing back into the boat. “Celeste is welcome here as long as she needs to,” he says to Adrien and Felix. “We’ll take good care of her.”

“I didn’t know my father could be so cruel,” Adrien says quietly. “I mean, her hands. . .” He trails off, swallowing, then turns away. Felix rubs his shoulder.

“None of us expected it, cousin,” he says. “I’ll fill Luka in.” And he does, only pausing to ask me what happened to my head. “And we brought her to you,” he finishes, “because we know you care for her and you’d take care of her.”

“Why is she so sluggish, though?” Luka asks. “Unless she has a concussion, she should be more lively.” 

“Gabriel. . .” I groan. “He. . . tried a new. . .”

“He tried a new solution on you, didn’t he?” Adrien growls. “I’m going to kill him.” Luka squeezes me close to him as Juleka comes back up.

“I’ve got everything set up downstairs,” she says. “Do you guys want me to take her and clean her up?”

“Put her in my bed,” Luka says. “I’ll sleep in Mom’s bed tonight.” He picks me up, cradling me close to his chest. “I’ll bring her down, and then the three of us can continue this,” he says to Adrien and Felix. They nod, and he carries me downstairs, handing me off to Juleka.

Juleka helps me into the bathroom. “I know we’re not super close,” she says. “But I’m sorry you’re having trouble, and we’re about to get a lot closer. I’m gonna wash the blood off you, okay?”

I nod blearily, and I guess I doze off or zone out or lose consciousness or something, but the next thing I know she’s trying to lift me into bed. I do my best to help her, and surrounded by the scent of Luka, I manage to whisper a ‘thank you’ before I close my eyes.

“Celeste?” Juleka rubs my shoulder. “Celeste, you have to wake up. It’s time for school.”

I blink, slowly sitting up. My head pounds. “Wow,” I gasp, rubbing my temple. “I’ve never been hungover, but I imagine it feels like this.”

Juleka chuckles. She’s dressed and ready, her pale skin almost glowing in the morning light filtering through a window. “C’mon, girl,” she says softly. “We washed your clothes from yesterday, but there was a bloodstain we couldn’t get out. You can borrow something of mine, if you want. It might be big on you, though. You’re shorter than me.”

I smile. “Thanks, Jules.”

So I take a proper shower and brush my teeth with my finger and attempt to brush my hair but it’s too tangled and my arms are too weak, so I leave it and put on the clothes Juleka gave me, a purple dress with a slit in the leg and lace all over, and it’s big and baggy on me. I put on the same socks as yesterday and the same boots, and then I emerge from the bathroom, coming up to the main deck.

“Celeste!” Luka says, walking over. He presses a kiss to my cheek. “How’re you feeling?”

“Rough,” I admit. I rub my arms as goosebumps break out. “Did my sweater make it out unscathed?”

“It did, but we didn’t wash it early enough. It’s still damp,” Luka says. “Here.” He hands me his black hoodie, leaving him in only a t-shirt.

“Luka, you don’t have to-” I object, but he slides it over my shoulders.

“Breakfast is over here,” he says, leading me to the couch. He puts a tray with oatmeal and a smoothie on my lap. “They said you liked smoothies, and Felix brought one over at the crack of dawn for whatever reason.” Luka chuckles. “We leave in twenty minutes.”

“Thanks,” I say. He smiles warmly, kissing my forehead, before he vanishes below deck. I try to eat, I really do, but the idea of food makes me want to gag so I sip on the smoothie only. Juleka comes up and helps me brush my hair, making my eyes water when she works through the nastier tangles.

“You want mascara?” Juleka asks. I start. She blushes. “I notice you usually wear it,” she says softly.

“Yeah,” I say, smiling. “You’re honestly the best, Juleka.”

“Oh,” she says, looking bashful. “Thanks.” So she holds up a mirror, and I actually feel kind of like myself when we leave. 

The walk to school is fun- Luka and Juleka make me laugh several times. And I get to hold Luka’s hand the whole way. My own hands are gross- the nails are ragged, and several are missing. Juleka covered my fingers in band-aids, so at least I’m not scratching everything I touch or re-opening wounds.

When we make it to school, Felix runs over- causing everyone to look, which makes me want to hide behind my hair- and gives me a giant hug. “How are you?” he hisses into my ear.

“I can’t breathe,” I complain, and he releases. Adrien comes over, squeezing my hand and asking the same question. “I feel kind of gross, but I’m okay, guys. Calm down.”

“Fine, fine,” Felix says, rolling his eyes.

“Thanks for the smoothie, Felix,” I say.

“Of course,” he says, nodding. “Adrien’s idea to run one over.”

“Well, it was great,” I say. The bell rings, and I hug Luka goodbye and run off to class.

Class is boring, as usual. Nothing against science or anything, but I find myself zoning out. Felix does most of whatever lab we’re doing, and then my name is read over the intercom. I have to go to the office.

I get up, slowly making my way there. I figure it’s probably something about something missing from my transcript, or an extra credit project since I missed so much school, or maybe I didn’t turn something in.

Instead I’m confronted by Gabriel Agreste.

“Miss Vasseur,” Mr. Damocles says. “So glad of you to join us.”

“H-hi,” I say, sitting down in the chair Damocles is gesturing to. “What’s this about?”

“Mr. Agreste would like to offer you an internship!” Damocles says excitedly. “I had no idea you were so into fashion.”

“I’m not,” I say quickly. Gabriel’s beady eyes bore into me. “You must be thinking of Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

“No, she doesn’t have the qualities I need in an intern,” Gabriel says quietly. “Mr. Damocles, would you mind getting Miss Vasseur’s transcript?”

“Certainly,” Damocles says. “I’ll be right back.” He gets up from his desk and exits the room.

“Come home,” Gabriel growls. “Come home. Don’t hide like a coward, Miss Vasseur.” He doesn’t turn towards me, and I don’t turn towards him. We face forward, neither looking at the other.

“No tests,” I say. “No experiments. I’m done being your lab rat.”

“You’re hindering progress-”

“And I don’t think you’re trying to help me, I think you’re trying to kill me,” I growl. He stops talking, and I hear his breath catch. “I don’t have any idea why you would want that, but I’m done. Done.”

“You make my house look weak by leaving.” Gabriel’s voice is low. “You make me look bad.”

“I’ll come back,” I whisper. “I’ll come back if you promise to never force me into those experiments again.” I can’t leave my dad in that house. And I can’t impose on Luka and Juleka forever. I need to go home eventually. It’s just going to be on my terms.

Gabriel is silent for a moment. A long moment.

“Fine. No experiments against your will.”

“I’ll get in the car with Adrien and Felix after school,” I say, standing up. “Tell Mr. Damocles I don’t have room in my schedule for an internship.” I don’t look back. I just stand up, and I leave the room.

This time is going to be different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y'all enjoyed this!


	38. lots of feelings, not all good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has the full package, y'all- both furthers the plot, and you get lots of fluff! i had so much fun writing this one :)

Needless to say, when I tell Adrien and Felix I’m coming home, they object.

Severely.

“Are you insane?” Felix explodes. “Like, are you  _ insane _ ?”

“After everything-” Adrien starts, his eyes flickering with concern, but I cut him off.

“It’s going to be different,” I snap. “And keep your voices down!” We’re in the middle of the crowded lunchroom. Adrien lowers his head bashfully, but Felix keeps looking around with fury in his eyes. “Felix, you have dirt on him, right?”

Felix nods. “I took a picture of you tied to that chair before we busted in. It’s incriminating for him.” He examines his cuticles. “I took the liberty of backing it up to a hard drive and hiding it in a secure location.”

“Where?” I ask. “Just in case.”

Felix nods to Marinette, who’s sitting at her table with her friends. “See the bracelet she’s wearing?” Indeed, her wrist has a bracelet- a thin chain connecting a slim silver bar. “It’s in there.”

“Why Marinette?” Adrien says, his voice strained. He and I stare at Felix suspiciously. “Does she know?”

Felix scoffs. “God, no.” He smirks. “I happened to enjoy her company the night of the Snow Ball. However, she says I’m not. . .  _ nice. _ ” His lip curls on the last word. He shakes his head. “I’ll show her nice.”

“She called you out,” I say, chuckling.

“She did not!”

“She totally did!” I say, now laughing fully. “Oh, this is hilarious.”

“It is not,” Felix growls, but even Adrien’s chuckling. “I informed her of my plan in the park after the Snow Ball. She seemed amused.”

“I haven’t spoken to her in a while,” I muse. “I could talk you up.”

“You?” Adrien says. “Celeste, everyone knows you hate Felix.”

“I don’t hate Felix,” I say reflexively, and Felix gasps.

“Well, that’s news to me!” he crows. “How  _ do _ you feel about me?” He leans close to me, his face inches from mine. “Have I charmed you? Won you over?”

“I don’t hate you,” I say dryly. “You just really, really irritate me.”

“You like me,” Felix says with a smirk. “You just won’t admit it to yourself.”

“You don’t exactly hate me anymore,” I retort.

He shrugs. “True.”

My phone chimes in my bag- the chime of an akuma alert. The cafeteria silences while everyone pulls out their phone. “Mr. Rat,” I say, sighing. “The man can’t choose between his rats and his pigeons.”

“You think he’d pick one already,” Adrien agrees. “Especially because the wishy-washy attitude is getting him akumatized.”

I nod. “I’m gonna go- I have to. . . grab a book from class,” I say slowly.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick then,” Adrien says.

Felix sighs. “I’ll eat by myself then.” When Adrien and I leave the cafeteria, I see him picking at his food. I feel bad for a moment, but it’s not like I have a choice.

I duck into the classroom, waving to Adrien, hoping he doesn’t look for me. I have a list of reasons I don’t head back to the cafeteria anyway. As long as he’s not too thorough in his search.

“Eikka,” I say as soon as we’re alone. “You there?

“I was sleeping,” she says crossly, flying out of my pocket and hovering in my face. My bag is at home, so today Eikka lives in the pocket of Luka’s hoodie.

“I’m so sorry I woke you,” I say, deadpan. “Why don’t you go back to sleep and I’ll sit this one out?”

“Perfect. Darling, you’re the greatest,” Eikka says, flying back into my pocket.

“Wait- Eikka!” I hiss. “That was all sarcasm! Get back here!”

She flies out again. “Worth a shot, darling.”

“Do other kwamis sleep as much as you do?”

“Just transform already.”

I sigh. “Eikka, spread wings.”

I fly in a loop and land on the roof of the school when I finish up. Mr. Rat isn’t difficult, but he never fails to get more and more annoying. Even though I do enjoy blasting rats across Paris with wind. Something about watching their squeaky bodies fly makes me giggle every time. Is that bad? Maybe. None of them get hurt, anyway. I always blow them towards grass or something soft. I don’t want any little rat deaths on my hand.

I make sure the coast is clear before I drop down and de-transform, tucking Eikka into my pocket. I wish I had some food to give her, but I’ll get it for her this afternoon. She’ll be okay until then.

I make it back into the cafeteria right as lunch is ending. “Damn,” I say, knowing it’s not convincing in the slightest. “I missed lunch.”

“I got you an apple,” Felix says, walking up to me and tossing me the fruit. “Where the hell were you?”

“I couldn’t find my book,” I say, biting into the apple. “Ew. This is a soft apple.” I take another bite and gag.

“Give it here,” Felix sighs. He takes a bite himself. “Oh my god. How is this still in one piece?” He sticks his tongue out before tossing the nasty fruit. “What book was it? Like, why did it take you twenty minutes to find it?”

“I-” I say, unable to come up with a title. “Fine. You got me.”

“Ha!” Felix cackles. “Knew it. What were you  _ really _ up to?”

“I was in the bathroom,” I say. “I’m on my period.” Felix’s expression of triumph leaves his face. I continue on. “It makes the bathroom visits take a bit of extra time, you know?”

“I don’t,” he mutters, staring at his shoes. “And I’d rather not.”

“Don’t interrogate me about my whereabouts,” I say sweetly, and with a pat on the shoulder I pass him to go into class, smiling.

When the bell rings, I wave goodbye to Juleka and climb into the car behind the Gorilla. He grunts at me. Felix sighs. “This is a terrible idea.”

“Not your decision to make,” I say in a sing-song voice.

“Still a bad one,” he sings back.

“Please, neither of you ever do anything musical in the band,” Adrien says. “Not if it’s anything like that.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” I say. I examine my bandaged fingers. “I wonder how it’ll be different when I get home.”

News flash: Weirdly, it’s not.

Gabriel is still weirdly friendly to me at dinner, asking questions about my day while I try to count the individual rice grains. Amelie is still bitchy. Felix and Adrien still try to pretend that we’re all a happy family. And I still don’t see my dad anywhere.

“You’re not going to eat anything?” Gabriel asks, his brow furrowed. “You don’t eat much, Celeste. Could be why you’re dizzy and why you look as though you don’t weigh enough.”

“Wow,” I say, poking my food with my fork. 286 grains so far. “No discretion there or anything. Just call out my eating habits. At dinner. Loudly.”

“I don’t believe I’m wrong,” he says curtly. “Eat.”

“Why?” I say suspiciously.

“To look out for your health,” he says. “I wish to do better.” I snort, but he actually looks concerned, so I decide to bite.

“It’s a texture thing,” I say. “This is weird rice.”

“What about the chicken? Or the broccoli?”

“Chicken,” I mumble. I take a tiny bite. It’s not bad. A bit bitter, almost, but maybe that’s just char from the side of the chicken. I look up, and Gabriel is looking kindly at me. I’m sure he’s plotting something.

But I eat the chicken, if only because Dad would want me too. And I eat a piece of broccoli- only the stem, never the sprouts.

“He’s not wrong,” Adrien says as I lounge on his couch. “My father.” We’re playing a videogame he says he used to play with Marinette. I’m terrible at it.

“I think experimenting on me is wrong,” I mumble. My fingers mash the buttons of the controller, but Adrien still knocks my little avatar out. “Dammit!”

“Not that,” Adrien says, setting the controller down. “The eating thing.”

“Oh,” I say. “That.”

“Celeste, you’re-” Adrien seems to struggle for the right word. “Concerning.” He picks up the controller again. “You want to play again?”

“Yes,” I say, and he selects the option to play again. “And I know I’m concerning, as you put it.”

“Then why don’t you. . . fix it?” Adrien says as we select our characters. We have the selection of a bunch of previous akumatized villains. The game was actually designed by Max, a kid in our class, which is cool. I select Dark Cupid, smiling slightly at his wings. Adrien picks Oblivio.

“I want to be better,” I say as Adrien hits start. “I just- I don’t know.” I make Dark Cupid fly up into the air and start firing at Adrien’s character.

“Why don’t you eat?” Adrien says. Oblivio dodges one of my arrows and fires a direct shot at me. Dark Cupid fades into nothing. I groan. Adrien sets us up for match number two.

“I don’t know,” I say. “I’ve just never really wanted to, I guess. It has no appeal to me. And half the time, the textures are so awful and unnerving, and I feel like I’m going to vomit, and then I’m scared of vomiting, so I avoid those textures altogether.”

“You ate tonight,” Adrien says as he attacks yet again. Gritting my teeth, I furiously mash the buttons of the controller, but my character is already defeated.

“My dad would have wanted me to,” I say. “I just wish I could- dammit!” Adrien takes the third match. “How the hell are you so good at this?”

“Lots of practice,” Adrien says. “And Marinette gave me a lucky charm.” He holds up a string covered in beads. He flushes. “I gave her one back.”

“That’s adorable,” I say. “And you’re sure you never liked her way back when?”

“Oh, she’s just a friend,” Adrien says, waving me off. “Another round?”

“I should get to bed,” I say, standing up slowly. “I’m pretty tired.” I start walking to the door.

“See you in the morning,” Adrien says, waving as he pulls out his phone, the TV turning off slowly. I wave back, and then he calls out. “Wait- look at this.”

“What is it?” I ask, walking back to him. 

He holds up his phone. “There’s a theory that Eala’s weaker than the other two superheroes.”

“So?” I say, shaking my head. “How can they prove that?”

“They’ve cut videos together,” Adrien says. I peer over his shoulder. One shows Chat Noir and Ladybug jumping up to a window ledge. Then I jump- and I barely clear it, while they made it easily. The videos show me lagging ever-so-slightly while running, show me hitting rats not quite as far. “That’s incredible. Do you think it’s real?”

“I hope not,” I whisper. “Can you imagine?”

“If she’s watching this, she must be humiliated,” Adrien says, shaking his head. “I’d hate to have the fact that I wasn’t strong enough broadcasted around Paris. Poor Eala.”

“Yeah,” I say, my voice almost shaking, barely reined it. “Poor girl.”

“It’s cool that people can do that with video, though!” Adrien says, scrolling the video back to watch it again.

“Yeah,” I say again. “I’m gonna head to bed then.”

“Night,” Adrien says, waving me off. “Get the door on your way out?”

“Of course,” I say, smiling weakly. “Goodnight.” I exit his room as quickly as I can, then flee to my own bedroom.

I collapse on my bed. “Am I weaker?” I whisper, my voice shaking. “Eikka, am I weaker?”

No answer.

“Eikka?” I ask again, pulling her out of my pocket. She’s fast asleep, as usual.

Maybe she sleeps so much because she has to work so much harder to give me my superpowers.

Oh my god.

I really am weaker.

I fold my head into my hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i seriously love reading your comments, so please, please keep leaving them! tell me what you think! :)


	39. complicated problems and complicated solutions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter talks about eating disorders a bit! i don't know if anything would be triggering or not, but there is definitely confirmed eating disorder talk in this chapter. if that could be concerning for you, feel free to skip to the end note.
> 
> more in the end note (i don't wanna give anything away)

That night isn’t the only time Gabriel mentions my eating.

Oh, no, he mentions it every single night. When I come out of my room to leave for school, he waits in the entrance hall to ask if I ate my breakfasts, which now consist of actual food and not just a smoothie. At dinners he asks me about lunch and watches me like a hawk, asking which textures I can’t stand and not letting me leave until I eat a certain amount.

As a result, I’m eating more than I used to, but the attention is constantly on me. I notice Felix watching me at lunch, when he’s not off attempting to charm Marinette. Adrien, however, seems just as unnerved as I am about the whole thing.

I mean, he wants me to be healthy, obviously, but his father never speaks to him anymore. Hell, Gabriel’s putting in more effort to monitor my food than I’ve ever seen him put in for Adrien. Adrien’s aware of this.

One night after dinner, we’re playing videogames in his room again. I’m getting better, but Adrien still crushes me easily. We’re jabbing at the controllers when he says quietly, “My father really likes you. More than me, sometimes.”

“I don’t think he does,” I mutter. My fingers mash the buttons furiously, but Adrien’s avatar, Rogercop, knocks Princess Fragrance off the playing field. I sigh. “Frankly, I think your father has some sort of ulterior motive, but I can’t find it yet.”

“You really think that he’d have a motive besides trying to keep you healthy?” Adrien says, setting his controller down. “I mean, after what he did to you, he’s gotta get all of us to trust him again.”

“I know,” I say, rubbing my eyes. “But he gave up so easily. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re trying to correct this,” Adrien says. “Eating disorders are hard.”

I scrunch my face. “It’s not an eating disorder.”

“It isn’t?” he says, exhaling. “Celeste, I did some research.” He gets up from the couch, grabbing some papers from his desk and bringing them back to me. I pick them up, turning them over. Adrien rubs his neck. “I was trying to find out how to help you, and I found this.”

“Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder,” I say, reading the title of one of the articles. “ARFID for short.”

Adrien puts his hand on my shoulder. “You’ve never heard of it?”

“No,” I say. “You think this is what I have?”

“Read about it,” Adrien says. He smiles softly. “I really think you’ve been suffering from this. And I mean, I could be wrong,” he says quickly, “because I’m not a doctor or anything. I’m nowhere close to that.” He ruffles his golden hair, swallowing. “Scientists still don’t know a ton about it and it’s kind of new, but a lot of the symptoms match up.” 

My lips part as I read the page, my finger tracing the lines of words. It mentions how ARFID is relatively new, how it’s unrelated to body image but more to a lack of interest in eating or food or sensory avoidances. I turn the page, reading over the symptoms. Dramatic weight loss. Will only eat certain textures of food. Feeling cold all the time. Lack of appetite. Poor wound healing. It mentions abnormal laboratory findings, and I read over a list that matches what Nathalie said she found in my blood tests. Then there’s a bunch of others I thought were normal for people, like dry skin and difficulty concentrating.

I think I make a tiny noise when my finger hits the bullet point for ‘dizziness’. I look up at Adrien, tears forming in my eyes. “Thank you,” I whisper.

“You think this is it?” Adrien asks, sitting down next to me.

“Yeah,” I say, nodding. “Yeah, I know it is.” I wrap my arms around him. “Thank you, Adrien.”

He hugs me back, squeezing tight. “Anything.” We separate. Adrien clears his throat. “I think you still ought to see a doctor to confirm it, but I can research ways to help you, if you want.”

“You’ve done enough,” I say, waving him off. “If only I could see my dad.” I sigh wistfully.

“How’d he let this happen?” Adrien says quietly. “I mean- how long have you been like this?”

“He didn’t let anything happen,” I say fiercely. “My dad’s been doing his best.” I blink several times, swallowing before I continue. “My mom was the one who could get me to eat most of the time. He tries, he really does, but at the beginning, he couldn’t even get out of bed. I got a lot worse all at once,” I whisper, “because not only was Mom not helping me get through meals, she wasn’t there. And we both took that hard.” I look Adrien right in his peridot eyes. “None of this is on him.”

Adrien nods. “Sorry I implied it.”

“It’s okay.”

We sit in silence for a moment. I look at the game controller in my lap. It just doesn’t seem as compelling anymore. I gather the papers into a stack, then stand. “Is it okay if I go back to my room?” I ask.

Adrien nods. “We can finish up another night.”

“Goodnight,” I say, turning away, and I don’t wait to hear him respond. Suddenly, all I want is to be alone.

The papers lie scattered on my bed as I take off, my wings beating as I tear into the night. I am a pale blip amongst a sea of stars.

So I have a- an actual eating disorder. I actually have something wrong with me, and I have a way to fix it, and one would think that I’d be relieved to have a problem and a solution so easily available, but all I feel is weird. I land on a rooftop close enough to the Eiffel Tower, and I look over the open space and the people milling and the lives happening, and I wonder why mine has to be so crazy and complicated.

A man spins a woman in the air; then they kiss. I watch them, wishing everything could be out of a romantic movie. Ah, to have a kiss under the stars in front of the Eiffel Tower! I wonder what they’re wondering, what their problems are. I wonder if she’s got a secret to hide from everyone, if he keeps discovering over and over how weak he is, how powerless.

Oh.

That’s it.

“I don’t want to be weak,” I whisper. And there’s the rub, the need to be alone, the need to have a second where I don’t need to prove myself to someone, because it’s exhausting. I feel as though I’m perpetually one step from collapsing, one mistake from losing friends and one misstep from never seeing my dad again. I have so few constants in my life. What if I’m not strong enough to save them, to protect them?

I wasn’t strong enough to protect my mom.

I’m teetering at the edge of a dark void of spiralling thoughts when I hear a phone chime. It’s not mine, but the akuma alert never changes. I send a silent thank-you to whoever below me has their ringer turned up and take off, spinning in the sky, searching for a direction.

A cloud of dust erupts near the Louvre.

I’m on my way.

I’m flying in when a giant rock flies through the air, invisible in the night, and slams into me. With a grunt, I fly backward into a rooftop, gasping for air as I try to throw it off. Suddenly, it cracks and crumbles into dust. Chat Noir extends a hand to help me up, his staff spinning in his other hand. “Thought you needed a hand,” he says.

“Thanks,” I say, out of breath. “What’s going on?”

“Construction worker,” he says. “Now he’s throwing stuff.” He scans the air. “See Bugaboo anywhere?”

“Don’t call me Bugaboo,” Ladybug retorts, dropping in behind us. “We need recon.”

“I’ll try flying in again,” I say. “I’ll be on the lookout for rocks this time.”

“Don’t forget cars,” Chat says dryly. “I got hit with one.” He rubs his arm. “They’re not light, cars.”

“Duly noted,” I say, taking off. I swerve around a number of projectiles, finally reaching the construction yard. A giant man who looks to be made of rocks himself roars at me, grabbing another heavy boulder. I dodge it, narrowly avoiding having my wing clipped. However, the barrage of bricks he throws next gets me. I hit the ground hard, and one of my wings pops out, the staff rolling.

“Ah!” I gasp, flipping over and grabbing for it, but it rolls straight into a sewer grate. I hear it distantly clanking below. I groan, going limp for a moment. Let’s hope the “Miraculous Ladybug!” will cover that.

The other issue now is that I’m trapped on the ground with a crazy akumatized villain, with no way of getting back to the people I flew here for in the first place.

Stone-Man roars at me again, and I roll onto my feet, grabbing my other wing off my back to have that staff. He throws a brick at me, seemingly testing me. I smash it midair. He throws two. I dodge one, smash one.

He doesn’t like that.

“Ladybug!” I scream, as I’m running for my life, dodging an impressive amount of construction material and equipment. “Chat Noir! Could kind of use your help!” A boulder slams into me, and I go down, my face meeting gravel. A giant hand wraps around me, and I struggle, straining to escape.

“Not so fast!” Ladybug cries. She yo-yos her way in, swinging around the Stone-Man. He roars, forgetting about me. I hit the ground with a crunch, grabbing my staff as he turns towards Ladybug. I note a strange-looking rectangle on the back of his head.

“Cataclysm to the back of the head,” I shout, and Chat Noir drops in next to me. He nods, and jumps into the air, only to be swatted by the Stone-Man. I decide to help him out and try to catch him, but my arms shake and I fall, the kitty landing in my lap.

“Smooth,” he says, jumping up. Ladybug’s currently tying the villain up with the yo-yo, but he knocks her out of the air. She lands on her feet, skidding backwards.

“We need a plan,” she says, out of breath. “He’s strong.” As she speaks, Stone-Man is grabbing a new pile of materials.

“Duck!” Chat yells, and we duck as they’re thrown towards us, and we’re straightening as we realize his other rocky hand is full of crap and in motion, so I scream.

“Feather dance!” I scream, hands out in front of me, and the materials fly backward and pepper Stone-man’s body. He howls, and Ladybug summons her lucky charm, a magnet.

“The hell?” she mumbles. Her eyes dart around, and she grins. “Eala, I’m gonna need a distraction. Can you fly?”

“My other wing is in the sewer,” I inform her. 

She blinks. Her eyes dart. “Got it. Kitty, I’m gonna need your tail.” Chat hands it over. “Distract the guy!” she yells, and then she’s running.

“Boost me,” Chat yells, and I lace my fingers together as a fist swings towards us. Chat steps on my laced fingers and leaps, grabbing onto the fist. As Stone-Man shakes him violently, I spy a backhoe and get an idea.

I run, diving into the driver’s seat. The key’s in the ignition, somehow. I fire the thing up, and grab the first lever I see.

The backhoe’s claw swings into the stone giant, and he falls. Chat leaps up, onto his head, right as Ladybug returns with my staff attached to the magnet, which is tied onto Chat’s tail. She whips the tail like the end of a lasso, throwing it across the construction yard, and I leap out of the driver’s seat to grab the end of it. Stone-Man roars, swatting Chat off as I detach my staff from the magnet and slap both staffs onto my back, feeling the wings unfurl as I hook Chat’s tail back onto his belt and hoist him into the air.

But I’m not able to fly and hold him by the tail and I’m struggling, but my wings keep beating, and there’s a boulder coming at us and I don’t know if I should let him go or push on, when that magical yo-yo wraps around the boulder, pulling it back into Stone-Man. Ladybug cries out as she wraps up the Stone-Man again, right as my arms give out over the villain’s head and I drop Chat Noir, who yells “Cataclysm!” and hits the strange rectangle on the back of Stone-Man’s head.

Stone crumbles, and the man roars, falling into himself as the akuma flies away. I land heavily on the ground as the purple smoke clears and a man is revealed with a rectangular tattoo on the back of his neck.

Chat comes up to me as Ladybug does her thing. “You okay?” he asks. “You seemed to be struggling.”

“Your tail was hard to hold onto,” I lie.

He shrugs. “I’ve never tried.” He gives me a look that says he doesn’t believe me.

Ladybug comes over to join us. Grinning, she holds out her fist. “Pound it!”

We bid goodbye, and I fly home as quickly as possible, Eikka collapsing on top of all of my papers. She moans softly.

“I have sardines,” I say, peeling the top off a tin. “Here you go.” She scarfs them down without saying a word, falling asleep as soon as the last one’s gone. I perch on the end of my bed, staring at her tiny, immobile form.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I don’t know why I’m weaker, Eikka, but I swear- I swear I’m gonna find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright! so ARFID is a real eating disorder, but it's new. people don't know much about it yet! i used a lot of different sites to research it, but i used this one the most for referencing while i was writing: 
> 
> https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/by-eating-disorder/arfid
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! please tell me what you think! this was a harder one to write, cuz i've been preparing for it basically the whole time. let me know if you see any problems! :)


	40. another truly disastrous dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, so i didn't make my weekly chapter date. however, i missed it by like four minutes. so it counts. :)
> 
> hope y'all enjoy this one!

I do it if only for Eikka. I don’t know why I’m so much weaker than Ladybug and Chat Noir, but I feel that the ARFID is a good place to start. So I start. I still have very little interest in food, and even less interest in actually consuming the stuff, but I do try to consume it. I start off small at Gabriel’s insistence, eating foods I’m comfortable with at first. I try to branch out, and I never really branch out too much- I’ll take one bite of something I don’t want, and that’s it, but I do take that bite, that small step.

Gabriel watches me every dinner, his eyes never leaving my plate. He starts noting which foods I prefer and when I come to dinner, there’s a plate made especially for me with things I’m comfortable with. I eat a lot more at those dinners.

But for every dinner where he’s kind, there’s a moment when he’s the same manipulative, evil man I ran from. He cancels my skin graft appointment, saying that I deserve the scars. When I ask to see my father, he refuses, even posting the Gorilla to keep watch over me one night. He randomly bursts into Adrien’s room when we hang out, but never into Felix’s room. He tells me to go to my room and raises one eyebrow when I refuse, a silent reminder that he can have me removed from the city. 

I end up spending more and more time alone, making mixes of songs in my room. I use the way Adrien showed me out of my room and visit Luka, and he and I will spend hours on the deck of his boat, messing around with music in every form. Luka starts to teach me to play the guitar, and while I’m terrible at it, I love the feeling of his hand on mine and his fingers covering mine. A couple times, he takes me for bike rides around the city, Juleka following us with Rose. When I’m not hanging out with Luka, I hang out with the two of them, and we laugh and laugh.

The constant burden of distractions is great, and I feel closer and more connected to Paris than ever before, but I feel further and further separated from my father. It comes to a point where we’ve been in the same house for three weeks and I haven’t seen him once. Amelie has his schedule so screwed up I no longer even see him in the mornings; I wake up to a note outside my door. It’s not the same.

“Amelie,” I say slowly one dinner as I slowly poke over the squash on my plate, “can I see my dad sometime this weekend?”

“Why would you want that?” Amelie asks, turning her nose upward with a sniff. “He works for me. When you see him, you take him away from work, therefore endangering your. . . lifestyle.” She gives me a look that I’m sure is intended to wither me, but it only manages to make me more annoyed.

“I haven’t seen him in three weeks.” I put down my fork. “I can’t even have an hour with him?”

“I need him.” Amelie purses her lips as she sets her own fork down. “He works for me.”

“Not right now,” I say, my volume rising. “Where is he at dinner?”

“He’s not needed here,” Amelie says, her eyes gleaming with malice. “So he’s waiting for me.”

“In your room,” I say. “Always your room.”

“I don’t like to leave it,” Amelie says tersely. “So it’s simplest if he stays there for when he is needed.”

I stand up suddenly, fire running through my veins. “So what if I went there now?” There’s a sudden cacophony of noise when my legs hit the edge of the table and my fork goes flying. Felix flinches. “What if I,” I say, “went to your room to see my dad while you were at dinner? Would you have a problem with that?”

Amelie, too, jumps to her feet. Surprisingly, so does Gabriel. Amelie speaks first. “You have no right, none whatsoever, to go there-”

“You sit down right now!” Gabriel barks. “You haven’t finished eating.”

“You have  _ no right _ to keep me from seeing my father!” I cry to Amelie. I whip my head to Gabriel. “And I am done, thank you very much.” With that, I take a deep breath, and then I move quickly, darting around the table and bursting through the doors to the dining room. My foot is on the first step when I hear Gabriel shout and Amelie curse and Adrien’s and Felix’s voices rising above them, more of a shout than any words in particular.

I’m halfway up the stairs when my breath doesn’t come to me and I see the spots from moving too quickly, and I remind myself that this is why Gabriel said I needed to sit down. I make it halfway down the hallway before Amelie catches up to me and she grabs me harshly around my upper arms and I scream, twisting in her grasp. “Let me go!” I scream. “Let me see him, let me see him!”

“No!” Amelie shrieks. “No, no, no!” and with that she throws me harshly to the ground and I cry out, curling into a ball instinctively, and out of the corner of my eye I see Felix trying to climb the stairs and Gabriel holding him back, but making no move of his own. Nathalie has her hand on Adrien’s shoulder, and he’s staring up at me with his mouth gaping.

“Let me see him,” I sob, and I try to crawl towards the room housing my father, but Amelie grabs my ankles and pulls and I’m dragged with her, gasping and crying out, and she stops before the stairs. “Please,” I beg her, clawing at her hands with my busted fingers. “Please, he’s all I have left,” I sob. “Let me see him, please.”

Amelie leans down, her lips grazing the cartilage of my ear. “Learn your place,” she snarls, and she steps back, away from me, and I scramble to my feet, and that’s clearly the opportunity she’s waiting for, because as soon as I’m on my feet she sees how I’m unsteady and she takes her moment to push me squarely with both slender hands and then I’m tumbling, I’m crashing into every single stair. The marble hits me, or I suppose I’m the one hitting the marble, but when I finally reach the bottom I’m scared to move because surely my heart is beating too fast and any movement will send the whole thing into cardiac arrest.

“Mother,” Felix growls, but I hear her heels clicking and know she’s going back to see my father while I’m stuck here. I lift my head, but spots dance and I groan. I think of my head smacking while I was trying to discern up from down. “Mother,” he snarls, and I hear his shoes as he races up the stairs himself.

Adrien drops to my side. “Come on, Celeste, let’s get you to your room,” he says softly. “Can you move?”

“Everything hurts,” I whisper, but I turn my head to him and I open my eyes.

He turns to Gabriel. “She ought to see a doctor- her condition and all-”

“No doctor,” Gabriel says curtly. “Nathalie, come to my office.” He strides away, looking over his shoulder once at me with a sly smile. Then the door closes behind him.

Felix tears down the stairs, dropping to his knees beside me. “Mother’s- she’s-” He stops, shaking his head. One of his cheeks is redder than the other. “She’s more volatile than usual tonight.”

“C’mon, Celeste,” Adrien says again, helping me sit up. I groan, rubbing my back. Felix gets on my other side and the two of them lift me to my feet, and I lean heavily on them both as we walk back to my bedroom.

“What- what do we do about it?” Adrien whispers to Felix. “How do we help her?”

Felix shrugs. “Frankly, my mother is in the sort of state where heavy medication would be recommended.”

So it’s decided that they’ll stay with me for the night just in case. Adrien offers to let me crash on the couch in his room, but I turn him down, with the reasoning that his room is upstairs and I wouldn’t put it past Amelie to push me again.

While Adrien goes to get clothes for him and Felix, I take a bath, deciding that showering is too hard and I just want to sit in a puddle of my filth for the night. While I towel my hair, sitting naked on the floor, I call to Felix through the door. “She hit you, didn’t she?”

He doesn’t answer. I give him some time while I push myself slowly to my feet, pulling on pajamas. “How often does she- how often does she hit you?”

Still no answer. I give him still more time before I open the door while I brush my hair to see Felix sitting on my bed, shaking his head slowly. I set my hairbrush down. “Felix,” I whisper.

“Don’t,” he says, his voice laced with venom. “Don’t pity me.”

“Has she- has she done other things to you?” I say softly, sitting on the edge of the bed, my shoulder pressing into his arm. “Other than just hit you?” Perhaps Amelie is as mentally abusive as Gabriel is.

Felix bites his lip, and a single tear traces his cheek, hugging the curve. His eyes stare straight ahead, expressionless.

“Do you want me to be quiet?” I whisper, and he nods, and I nod, and I lean my head on his shoulder, and we sit there quietly while his tears and my hair drip into patterns.

Somehow we fall asleep curled up together on my bed, and I don’t know if I’m more surprised by the fact that I fell asleep curled around Felix or that I’m being woken up by his mother hitting me.

“You  _ bitch _ !” she screams. “That is my  _ son _ !” She shoves me off the bed and I gasp as the wind is knocked out of me, and Adrien’s jumping up from the floor and shoving himself in between us. She backhands him as I scramble to my feet. I look at her, and where I used to see malice in her eyes I see unfiltered rage and something disturbing that makes me truly fear for my life.

“Felix,” I gasp, the room spinning savagely. I crumple to the bed as Felix leaps over it. “Behind the bookshelf.”

He gives me a confused look but does as I’ve suggested and finds the rope. By this point I can stand up straight and I help him loop the rope around my bed while Adrien blocks Amelie with his own body. She slaps him again, and he blinks, momentarily distracted, and she lunges at me and shoves me into a bedpost and my head hits it with a tremendous crack.

Felix curses violently and grabs me, pulling me across the bed to the window. “Go,” he hisses. “Go go go.” 

I blink away dizziness, because of course the spots are back, and I push Adrien towards the rope instead. “You go,” I gasp, rubbing my temple. “I’ll fall if I go right now.”

To Adrien’s credit, he dives out the window instinctively while Felix and Amelie yell at each other. I wait and I watch him climb, and then Amelie sees me and screams, and I scream back out of fear and I grab the rope and swing out the window. “Felix!” I cry, and he’s right behind me, and I’m not climbing as much as using the rope to slow my fall, Felix right behind me.

This all goes to hell when Amelie cuts the rope.

One moment I’m scuttling down a wall, and the next I’m falling, and something goes wrong when I land on my ankle and I scream out in agony, and then Felix lands on top of me, quickly cutting my scream off. He rolls off me almost instinctively, lying on his back making a groaning noise.

“We have to go,” Adrien urges. “She’s gonna come looking for us. Felix was right, she needs to be sedated.” He leans over Felix. “Felix, are you okay? Can you get up?”

“I’ll be okay,” Felix wheezes. “We didn’t fall that far, after all.”

“Great,” Adrien says, jumping to his feet. “Because I have the feeling that Celeste just broke her ankle.” He turns to me, worry in his eyes. “Your bone density is messed up. Also I think I heard a crack.”

“Very astute,” I gasp, unable to really think of anything else because of the pain. “Oh my god. Oh my god.”

“We have to go,” Adrien says again. “She’s crazy, she’ll come after us.” He leans down and scoops me up while Felix slowly gets to his feet. “Where to?”

“I don’t know,” Felix groans. “Oh my god, I think I crushed a lung.” We begin moving because Adrien decides anywhere is better than here, and I realize how sad we must look- three teenagers, all in pajamas, one leaning on the wall and one being carried and everyone looking battered.

“The boat,” I groan. “Couches.”

“We can ask Luka to remove the gangplank,” Felix notes. “That’ll work.”

“Boat it is,” Adrien says, his voice tight. “I hope Luka doesn’t mind.”

“He’ll know what to do,” I hiss in between breaths. “If not him, then Juleka.”

A screech, faded by distance, echoes through the night. Felix takes his hand off the wall. He takes a deep breath. "We'd better run."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please please comment! i read all of them with a smile. :)


	41. a new plan is needed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short one :( but the next chapter promises to be interesting, guys!

So we run- or Adrien and Felix run- and by the time we reach the boat I’m crying openly from the pain and Felix looks like a strong wind could knock him over and even Adrien is winded from having to carry me this far, even though he transferred me to his back.

“Do you think she’ll find us?” Adrien asks. “Or will someone find her?”

“I don’t even care,” Felix groans. He makes it over the gangplank and onto a couch and collapses, his breathing labored. “Adrien, get the plank.”

“Let me set Celeste down,” Adrien says quickly. He places me on the couch and puts my ankle, which is swollen and purple and nasty and hurts to touch, on a throw pillow. He runs to the door and knocks on it quickly and loudly. “Luka, I’m so sorry to do this again,” he calls. “We need your help.”

The door swings open quickly. It’s Juleka. “I mean, come over whenever- oh my god!” she gasps. “What happened?”

“Can you make it so no one else can get onto this boat?” Adrien asks. “Someone- uh, someone is after us.”

“You have the worst luck, don’t you?” Juleka says to me, but she turns and gets the plank to retract somehow. Adrien collapses onto the couch next to me, breathing heavily. He reaches out and pulls some sweaty strands of hair off of my forehead. Juleka looks at the three of us, noting Adrien’s swollen cheek from being repeatedly slapped, Felix’s shallow breathing, and my purple ankle, and her face goes paler than usual. “I’ll get Luka.”

Felix groans as soon as she vanishes. “Oh my god. My mother lost it. She lost it.”

“Has she ever been like that before?” I ask, looking over at him.

He shakes his head. “She’s gotten violent, but she’s never been that bad.” He nods to my ankle.

“She didn’t do this directly,” I hedge.

“And she didn’t get the wind knocked out of me on purpose either, but it sure as hell wouldn’t have happened without her,” Felix snaps. “Besides, she beat up Adrien.”

“She’s been acting stranger lately,” Adrien mumbles. His eyes are closed as he leans back on the couch cushions. “I wonder if- if my father had anything to do with it.”

“You think what?” I say, but right then Luka comes above deck, dropping to my side instantly.

“Celeste,” he gasps. “Celeste- that’s it, none of you are going home.” His eyes fill with fury.

“It’s not him this time,” I say quickly, but Adrien makes a noise saying he thinks otherwise, and Luka’s eyebrows leap off his head at the idea of something else happening to me at home.

“Even more reason,” Luka groans. “And you still can’t go to a hospital, I’m guessing?”

“She’ll be waiting,” Felix says, shaking his head. “I still can’t believe it.”

“Felix’s mom snapped,” I say to Luka quietly.

“Shit,” he says, rubbing his head. “Shit. Okay, let me see what I have to wrap your ankle with. Juleka, can you get some ice for Adrien?” Juleka nods and vanishes. He turns to Felix. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I think I bruised a rib,” he grunts.

“I’ll grab you some painkillers,” Luka says, and with that he presses a kiss on my head and vanishes below deck again.

“Adrien, how could it be your father?” I hiss as soon as he’s gone. “He wants to experiment on me, remember?”

“He’s watched you get akumatized because of Amelie before,” Adrien says softly. “Maybe he’s trying to do it again.”

“To see if whatever he injected me with works,” I say slowly, horror in my voice. “Oh my god.”

“My mother wouldn’t need much incentive,” Felix notes. “She hates you.”

“Still don’t know why for that one,” I say, groaning.

“It’s not like Gabriel or Nathalie was trying to stop Amelie,” Adrien adds. “In fact, they did nothing but hold me back from stopping her.”

We sit in silence for a moment.

“Adrien?” I whisper. “Can we ever go home?”

He sighs. “I don’t know.”

Felix scoots over on the couch and leans his head on my shoulder. With a shaky breath, I lean on Adrien’s. Adrien reaches back and wraps his arm around the two of us, and I try to keep myself from crying.

The next morning Felix’s chest is bruised nastily and Adrien is sporting a giant black eye. My body aches from being pushed down the stairs, and I can’t walk on my ankle anyway, so we decide collectively to take the day off from school.

Luka kisses me goodbye, then goes to walk with Juleka to school. We’re sitting on the deck again. I’ve got a pair of crutches Luka found from when Juleka twisted her ankle when she was little. Luckily, I’m small enough to where they still work for me.

“We can’t stay here,” Felix says as soon as they’re gone. “Think about it, they’re bound to look here.”

“They’ll look at school first,” I say. “Like the last time we needed to hide here, remember? Gabriel got me at school.”

“Well then, where?” Adrien asks. “I mean, they’ll look at Nino’s, since he’s my best friend.”

“Marinette’s at school, otherwise I could ask her,” I say, sighing. “And Felix is here, so she’d say no, anyway.”

“I’m growing on her,” Felix objects. “She didn’t tell me to go away nearly as quickly last time.”

“Marinette would actually be perfect,” Adrien says. “I can call her. She and I once hid from a bunch of my fans together. She’d be totally down.”

“Alright then,” I say. “Her parents are sweet, they’d probably be understanding.”

“This could work to my advantage,” Felix says thoughtfully.

“Felix!”

“Hey, I’m just saying!”

“So it’s decided,” Adrien says, pulling out his phone. “We need Marinette.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a comment whore, y'all. drop them below.


	42. luka has to choose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is from luka's point of view!
> 
> hope you guys are still enjoying this! i'm still trying to post one new chapter a week, but i just started a job, so it's a bit trickier lol. hence no chapter yesterday. we might make this an every saturday sort of situation.... :)

“That house is messed up,” Juleka says as we walk to school. “I mean, look at Celeste.” She looks up at me, and Celeste’s skinny body flashes through my mind, her scared eyes.

“Yeah,” I say. “But we’re gonna help them. We’re gonna help them fix it.”

“Luka,” Juleka says, shaking her head. “They might not need to fix it, you know.” She’s quiet for a moment. “I wonder what Adrien’s been going through all these years.”

“Huh?” I say, blinking.

“I mean, if this stuff is happening to them now- who knows what’s Adrien’s father’s doing?” Juleka says. “I mean, if he was trustworthy Adrien would have gone to him.”

I swallow, thinking of his sick experiments on Celeste. “He’s not a good man, Juleka.”

“I’ve guessed that,” she says quietly. “You think you’re all wrapped up in this because of Celeste, but I’ve been going to school with Adrien for years, Luka.” Her amber eyes meet mine. “I mean, I knew his father was strict, and some days he seemed more down than others, but. . .”

“We’re gonna help them,” I say again, unsure of how to respond to that.

Juleka lets out a tiny sigh.

The school approaches us, and when we get close enough, Rose comes over. “Hey Jules,” she says, kissing her on the cheek. “Hey, Luka.”

“Hey Rose,” I say. “How’s it going?”

“Oh, it’s just fabulous!” she squeals. “I was actually working on a song idea last night for Kitty Section.”

“Cool,” Juleka says. “Sing some for me?” Her cheeks flush, and Rose gives her a warm smile.

“Of course,” Rose says. “We’re still having practice tonight, right?”

“That’s the plan,” I say as we reach the steps of the school. I bite my lip, thinking of the three people hiding on the boat right now, and Juleka notices. She nods, and with a wave she and Rose walk away, their hands entwined.

“Luka!” someone calls, and I turn around and it’s Marinette. She runs up to me, skidding to a stop.

“Marinette,” I say, unsure of where to start. The two of us haven’t spoken, really spoken, since she told me she had feelings for me at the Snow Ball.

“I wanted to apologize,” she says, slightly out of breath. Her cheeks turn pink. “Again.”

I nod. “For the Snow Ball?”

“For the Snow Ball,” she confirms. “I- that wasn’t the time to tell you. At all.”

“I’m happy,” I say. “Celeste makes me happy, Marinette, and I’m sorry but I like her a lot and I don’t want our relationship to end anytime soon.”

Marinette nods. “You know, that’s one of the things I like about you, Luka. You’re. . . steady.” She opens her mouth, searching for a word, and then finds it. “You’re dependable. Trustworthy. You know?”

“I hope so,” I say. “I try to be trustworthy, Marinette.”

“I know,” Marinette says. “You once told me I could tell you anything.”

I remember the day- remember the feeling of her in my arms and the sound of my bike and guitar clattering against the sidewalk, her tears dampening my shirt.

I remember the promise I made to myself, how I’d be there always for her.

And then I look back at this girl in little pigtails, her inquisitive eyes, and my eyes go right to her pink lips again, my eyes, those traitorous things they are.

“I- Marinette,” I say. “You can- you can still tell me anything, you know.”

She nods, taking a deep breath. At this point most of the students are inside the building; only a few stragglers linger on the steps. “Anything?”

I nod, my breathing shallow. “Anything.”

She looks down at her feet, taking another deep breath, and then she looks up and in a single fluid motion, she’s moved up onto her tiptoes and her hands are grabbing fistfuls of my open hoodie and her mouth is on mine, softly, gently. Those soft, pink lips are on mine, and I don’t move.

I don’t react at all.

I just stand there.

And she steps back.

“I didn’t know,” she says, swallowing. “I didn’t know how to say it another way.” And then she’s turning away and walking up the stairs to the school, and she looks over her shoulder at the top of the stairs, and I can’t look away.

Dammit, I can’t look away.

I don’t walk home. I can’t go home. I can’t face it, can’t face her. God, Celeste. Celeste! I make a noise in my throat, hating myself more than I ever thought I could.

Because I  _ am _ happy, and Celeste makes me happy, and Marinette made me happy but her heart was never in it, and that was very bold of her to kiss me like that- bolder than she ever acted when we dated, bolder than I’ve ever seen her. 

But as I walk, I can’t help but think of Marinette, and my head isn’t thinking of the girl with a sprained ankle at home, but the girl with the pink lips at school. Oh, what do I do? I can’t get her off my head.

I find a park, right across the street from wherever I’m walking, and I go to a bench, pull my guitar off my shoulder, and I know the only thing that distracts me every single time is music, so I hold my guitar and try to play how I feel.

It’s ragged, rough, and abrasive to the ears at first- I have to stop and breathe and calm myself before my fingers touch the strings again, and even then it’s harsher than my usual tunes, and I close my eyes and lose myself in it, listening to the sound.

It flows, it jumps, and it stabs at me, the music representing the turmoil inside me, because I’m happy with Celeste and our relationship feels strong to me but Marinette is the girl I see when I close my eyes and I can’t breathe, can’t even comprehend the damage that would happen. God, what if I break up with Celeste- and just thinking this makes me want to vomit, because I am truly a despicable person at this point- and she regresses? Her health is so delicate, how would she react? What would happen to Kitty Section if Celeste wasn’t producing our songs, taking them to the next level? What would happen to my friendship with her, because I genuinely believe she is a great person I want to have in my life? What about her friendship with Marinette?

I open my eyes, and I watch my fingers as they, moving of their own accord, play the song I made for Marinette. The song I made that encapsulates her, sweet and soft and determined all in one melody.

I stop breathing. Quickly, as though it were hot to the touch, I set the instrument to the side. Leaning my elbows on my knees, I put my head in my hands.

“I have to break up with her,” I whisper. “I have to break up with Celeste.” I know in my head, she’s the girl for me.

But my heart wants Marinette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i always love reading your comments! please tell me what you think!


	43. relationships are complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so now we're gonna do a new chapter every saturday. that's the new plan, guys!
> 
> i actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter, so i hope you enjoy it!

“This is ridiculous,” Felix grouses. “Absolutely ridiculous.”

“It’d be pretty easy to find us,” I snap, “when you tell people to look for a  _ teenager _ in a  _ suit. _ ” I cross my arms. “Suck it up, buttercup.”

“You’re grumpy with a sprained ankle,” Felix hisses.

“You’re grumpy without your precious  _ cuff links _ ,” I hiss back.

“Guys? Guys.” Adrien rubs his neck. “Can you stop arguing until we can get ahold of Marinette? Just so I don’t lose my mind?”

“I look ridiculous,” Felix moans. He looks down at himself. He’s wearing some of Luka’s clothes, since his suit is so distinctive and, like the rest of our clothes, it was sweaty and dirty and a little bit bloody. Now he’s in a pair of dark jeans and a Jagged Stone t-shirt, with a black hoodie hanging open.

“You look weird,” I agree. I myself had the foresight to bring clothes to the boat after the last time I stayed here. So I am wearing my own pair of jeans and striped shirt, with one of Luka’s teal hoodies. Adrien is the only one without Luka’s hoodies, but he’s wearing another pair of dark jeans and his own Jagged Stone t-shirt. The three of us look like a bunch of people on our way to a concert. “If Luka were back here, he’d probably laugh at you.” He wouldn't, but I know it'd piss Felix off. It does.

“I’d like to see him try,” Felix snaps. “Stupid emo boy.”

“That’s my boyfriend you’re calling stupid,” I remind him, playing with the strings on Luka’s hoodie. “So watch it.”

“Make me,” Felix spits. He stalks towards me. I jump to my feet, leaning heavily on the arm of the couch.

“Back up,” I growl. He looks down on me, his face inches from me. I push at his chest weakly with one hand.

“What are you gonna do?” he hisses, giving my shoulder a hard shove. It’s not hard for him, and its effective. I fall backward onto the floor, grabbing for the couch and missing. When I land, a noise escapes my mouth that I’m ashamed to have made. Adrien starts.

Felix looks ashamed as well. “Oh my god, Celeste, I’m so sorry,” he says, reaching down to help me up.

I swat his hand away. “I still have my dignity, you ruffian,” I say, grabbing the arm of the couch to get to my feet. I flop over the arm onto the cushions.

“Are you two done?” Adrien says. He gives us a look, shaking his head. “One day. That’s all I want.”

“We’ve been good recently,” Felix grumbles. He sits down next to me. “Any luck from Marinette?”

“Yeah, she’s gonna meet us after school.” Adrien pockets his phone. “We should probably find a space to meet up with her that’s not this boat, though. I’m sure if our parents are looking for us, they’ll look here.”

“Well, my mom probably doesn’t even remember who Luka is,” Felix says. “Celeste’s dad probably doesn’t get a say in anything, and Gabriel most likely doesn’t care.” Adrien shrugs. Felix continues, “So we probably have a little while before she figures it out.”

“Is it so bad to go back?” I whisper. I hug Luka’s hoodie tighter around me. “I mean, do we have to run?”

“Celeste, you of all people should know we need space,” Adrien says, his face worried. “My dad essentially used you as a lab rat, your dad’s nowhere to be found, and Amelie hates you.”

“She was unusually unhinged,” Felix notes.

“But- but if we don’t go home I’ll never get to see my dad,” I say, looking at my knees. “I know it’s bad there. I know no one wants me there. But he’s all I have left.”

Everyone’s quiet for a moment, and then Felix is scooting closer to me and wrapping his arm around me. “I know how you feel,” he says softly. “My mom’s all I have, and I don’t even know who she is anymore. I feel like I don’t see the woman I consider to be my mother anymore.” He takes a deep breath. “But you’re not alone, Celeste. You have me, and Adrien, and Luka, and Juleka, and god knows how many other people.”

“They’re not him, though,” I whisper.

“I know,” he whispers back, and then he hugs me to his chest. Adrien comes over and joins in the group hug, and we share a moment of peace.

A single moment.

Then the boat cracks, as though in two, and I’m flying backwards into the river.

The water folds around me, submerging me entirely. Stunned, confused, and unaware which way up is, I stay still for a moment before the human body’s floating properties kick in, and I’m gently shown which way up is. I flail my arms, trying to get up- I can swim, but I sure as hell wouldn’t say I’m good at it.

My head breaks above the surface, and I gasp in a breath of air, desperately looking for what went wrong. I see Adrien swimming towards the shore, Felix towards me. I turn wildly, and then I see her, standing on the shore.

Amelie. But not Amelie. Her skin looks too smooth, too shiny. She looks almost fuzzy, and her coloring looks more orangey that it used to. It’s like someone took a bad picture of her.

And she’s furious.

“You’re mine,” she snarls. “The three of you are mine.” A mask of purple light appears on her face, and Felix curses, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the shore. I flail after him, slowly pushing myself to my feet.

“We have to run,” he says, out of breath. “Now.” 

“I- I can’t run,” I say, my breath catching. I look around, but Adrien is gone. “You need to go. Leave me.”

“Get away,” Amelie snarls, “from my  _ son! _ ” An invisible force grabs me and pulls me away from Felix- the same force, I realize, that can cut a boat in half. I struggle as it pulls me towards her. She leans over me, her fingernail tracing my chin. “I don’t see why he has this strange fascination with you.”

“Let me go!” I growl.

“Let her go,” Felix says, his voice deep and threatening, and Amelie cackles. She waves her hand and the two of us are suddenly lifted into the air, floated to a rooftop. Telekinesis. I didn’t even know Hawkmoth could  _ give _ that power. “Mother!”

“I’ll give you our dear Celeste,” she says, her voice dripping with venom, “when Ladybug and Chat Noir give me their miraculouses.” She turns back to me. “You won’t escape, will you?”

“Try me,” I spit.

She leans over me, her strange orangey face twisting. “Oh,” she says, her voice sickeningly sweet. “I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me what you think! i read all the comments, and i love all of them.


	44. adrien can't save everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! this chapter is from adrien's point of view. i actually had fun writing it, even though there was a WHOPPING amount of writer's block involved.
> 
> i also wanted to say thank you so much for the comments! i love reading them and i'm going to try to respond to all of them- i really need to get better at that! so thank you for the feedback; it really makes me excited to write.
> 
> i love all of you! :D

I run back, out of the way. I don’t see what happens to Celeste or Felix. He’ll get her out of the river or vice versa. Either way, I’m pretty sure I saw Amelie use telekinesis, which means a fight is at hand. I’ve gotta transform, and now.

“Plagg,” I hiss, opening my jacket pocket as soon as I’ve ducked behind a trash can.

He flies out, hovering in front of me. “The royal bitch strikes again!”

“Plagg!” I exclaim. As we’ve gotten older, Plagg’s been cursing a lot. I’ve been trying to keep a lid on it. So far, no luck. “I- whatever. Plagg, claws out.”

I transform, then turn back- and I don’t recognize the scene. Felix is crumpled on the ground, weakly trying to push himself up. Celeste is on a floating piece of the ship, her wrists shackled to the floating board. Her head lolls, her hair hanging limply in her face. Amelie is scanning the area, and as soon as her back turns I grab Felix, pulling him behind the trash cans.

“What happened?” I say, propping him up.

“She- she’s got Celeste,” he groans. “Adrien’s missing and she’s got Celeste and she got mad when I tried to rescue her.” His eyes wildly search me. “She’s got telekinesis or something, Chat Noir, you have to stop her-”

“I’ll stop her,” I promise. “As soon as Ladybug gets here-”

“You called?” Ladybug drops in next to Felix. “I’ve got a plan, sort of. We just need Eala for distraction.”

“What about until then?” Felix says, his voice raspy. He rubs at his side.

“Until then, we keep her busy,” I say. “You stay here.” I lean over to Ladybug and whisper, “M’lady, we might need some help on this one.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” she murmurs. “Shame Kagami’s back in Japan- we could use the dragon.” She sighs. “Lucky Charm!”

When the light dies down, she’s holding a pushpin. “I don’t know what that is, but I’m going to get help,” Ladybug says. “Get Celeste out of there without getting caught yourself, if possible.”

“Be careful, m’lady,” I say, brushing a kiss across the back of her hand. 

She shakes her head. “I’m always careful.” With that, she’s soaring off.

I emerge from behind the trash cans, searching for Celeste. Felix is unconscious. I wonder if Ladybug’s magical fixes can revive the dead. He’s probably got some internal bleeding or something.

“Chat Noir,” Amelie says, her body fizzling. Her voice sounds strained. “What a pleasure.”

“That pleasure’s all mine,” I say, bowing. “Why don’t you give me back Celeste?” Celeste looks up, her hair falling back to reveal her pale face. I can see the hollows in her cheeks.

“Oh, the key’s at the bottom of the river,” Amelie says, waving a hand. “Don’t worry about it. I’d worry about you, personally.” She points her hand at me, and in my miraculous-enhanced state, I can see thin waves in the air, barely discernible from when you see heat rippling off a pavement. I dive, hitting the water, and the waves sail over me. Putting my staff over my mouth and nose to breath, I scan the riverbottom for the key, but I don’t see it.

I come to the surface, right in front of Celeste, putting her in between me and Amelie. “I’m gonna get you out of here,” I say. Her wide eyes meet mine. They’re a strange color- grey like storm clouds. She still looks so fragile, so breakable, even though she’s been eating more and gaining weight, getting some flesh on her bones. “I promise.”

“Please,” she whispers. “Quickly.”

“Cataclysm!” I cry, and as the destructive power forms at my fingertips, I press my hand to the wood she’s floating on. It all disintegrates, and Celeste falls into the river. Amelie snarls as I come into her sight, and I swim quickly out of her reach, climbing out of the river quickly. I turn back, looking for her as I dodge Amelie’s attacks.

She’s a terrible swimmer- she’s doggy-paddling her way through the water, but it’s slow and sloppy. Amelie notices this and her next attack isn’t for me. She moves her hand and I see the waves coming for Celeste.

I dive, landing squarely on Celeste with a splash. My body is shoved harshly to the side as Amelie’s attack makes contact, but then we’re underwater. Her attacks don’t work underwater- something about the water blocks the waves of telekinesis. I make a note of this as I wrap my arms around Celeste’s tiny frame and pull her to the surface, shooting us both upward on my staff. I leap off, letting Celeste go, and she crumples, coughing up water.

“Sorry,” I say, rubbing her back. I can feel the protrusion of her spine. “I can take you somewhere safe.”

“Please,” she says, coughing. “I don’t think I can walk.” I remember her ankle at this moment, and when I look it is indeed swollen and red.

I reach for her, but then I can’t move. I’m being lifted into the air. “Finally,” Amelie says, her voice scratchy. “Finally, I can have your miraculous.”

“No,” I say, panicked. “No!” I clench my hand into a fist, trying to make my ring as hard as possible to remove. She snarls, and suddenly my limbs are all being pulled in different directions. I keep my fist clenched as I’m pulled.

“Let him go!” Celeste cries, standing up. She’s swaying, and you can see the pain etched into her face. “You want me so bad, take me instead!” I groan as the pain intensifies.

“I need his miraculous,” Amelie says, her face flickering. It looks like she’s a TV station we’re losing contact with. I think it’s getting worse. An idea occurs to me- maybe Hawkmoth  _ can’t _ give such an immense power to someone. Maybe she’s got limited time.

“You don’t  _ need  _ his miraculous,” Celeste says, her voice steady. “Hawkmoth does.” She spreads her arms wide. “But you want me.”

“I do,” Amelie says, her voice skipping. “I really, really do.” The purple light glows around her face, and she snarls, shaking her head. “Get- no!” she shrieks. “No, I want her!”

She screeches, and her hand twitches- I’m thrown through the air. I hear Celeste cry out as I slam into the side of a building, and my ring beeps as the dust from crushed bricks surrounds me. My body feels fantastic in that I am no longer in danger of having my limbs rip off; it feels awful in that I was just thrown into a building and I think I’ve broken a rib.

I slide to the ground, trying to push myself up- if I don’t get away soon, I’m going to turn back and they’re going to see. She threw me against a building on the same side of the river as Celeste, and I can see Felix’s crumpled form against the trash cans from here. They can’t know who I am.

“Celeste,” I call, my voice weak. “Run.” Amelie is slowly levitating herself across the river- she can’t use telekinesis on two things at once, right?

She shakes her head, staring at me. “You can’t run, can you?”

“I- no,” I say. “No, I can’t.” My body hurts so much I think I’d be lucky to crawl out of here.

Celeste nods, an expression of determination on her face. “I can’t, either. But if I stay, that gives you a chance to get away.” She shrugs, her eyes sad. “Ladybug and Chat Noir can save the day, right?”

I don’t know. I have no idea. I’m in so much pain right now, I don’t even know if I can save myself. But I know she needs to hear it, so I nod. “We will.”

“Go,” she says. “Go, I’ll take care of her.” She can’t even put weight on her ankle, but she’ll take down a supervillain. I find myself smiling at her idiotic bravery. So I crawl, like the famous superhero of Paris I am. I crawl while leaving a sick, injured girl to face a supervillain.

But there’s nowhere I can hide that’s close, so I crawl behind the trash bins again. Every step, every impact of my hands and knees on the ground sends a stabbing pain up through my body, so I’m grateful when I’m hidden next to Felix’s slumped form. I put my ear up to Felix’s parted lips- and I don’t hear breath. I don’t hear anything.

I really, really hope Ladybug’s magic can revive the dead.

Otherwise Amelie just killed her son.

But dead people can’t talk, so when Plagg flies out of my ring, completely passed out, I’m glad Felix won’t snitch. I give Plagg a wedge of his favorite stinky cheese, tucking him into my pocket so he can rest. I lean against the trash bins, trying to catch my breath, and then I hear a little squeaking noise.

I poke my head out, hoping if Celeste sees me, she’ll just think it’s Felix. I see her slowly backing up, a squeak every time she steps on her bad ankle, as Amelie limps towards her. I was right- she does have a time limit. Her entire body is phasing and shifting, the colors bright enough to hurt my eyes. Her finger is extended, pointed at Celeste’s chest, and I can’t see the waves of power anymore but I imagine they’re weakened, because Celeste isn’t moving or anything. She looks uncomfortable, and that’s probably just for walking.

“The plan worked,” Amelie says with an otherworldly growl. “You’re alone. You’re all alone.” She says the last sentence in a sing-song voice.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir are coming,” Celeste says, gritting her teeth. “You won’t win this.”

“Oh, but I will.” Amelie laughs, evilly and gravelly. “Ladybug’s looking for help right now. She’s not going to find it. I made sure of that.” She smiles. “She won’t come, not yet. And I made it so your precious kitty used his Cataclysm- so he’s probably hiding right now, trying to regain his strength. Won’t be easy. I went easier on him than my idiot son, but not much.”

“Let them go- let everyone go,” Celeste says, her voice panicky. “I’ll come home, we’ll all come home. Just stop this, Amelie.” She hits the wall of a building, and I know she could see me if she looked, so I scoot around to the other side of the trash bins, making sure Amelie doesn’t see me either. Amelie’s entirely focused on her prey. She takes another step towards the girl.

“Oh, I will.” She coughs, doubling over. “Now that there’s no way Hawkmoth’s plan can fail.” I inhale sharply as she waves to Celeste, a joking, sarcastic wave, and then crumples to the ground, mere feet from Celeste. Purple smoke billows around her, and soon Amelie’s crumpled form is just that- Amelie.

Flitting out of the smoke, the akuma, still fully charged up and ready to go, hovers in the air for a moment. I realize exactly what Hawkmoth’s done- he’s tied up a beautiful, deadly package, and delivered it straight to Celeste. Because right now, when she’s hurt, soaking wet, and trapped, she sure as hell can’t run. Fear, I’m sure, is a lovely negative emotion.

She has enough time to cover her face with her hands as the akuma plunges into her chest- straight into her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm actually gonna respond to all the comments, so please, please leave them!!! i love reading all of them and i want all the feedback!!!!


	45. marinette's timing is less than perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!! this chapter was actually REALLY fun to write and i probably could have gone on for like five more pages, but i decided against it. also it's the first time i've had a different pov two chapters in a row that's not part of a series or whatever. but hey! i hope you like it!!! :D

With Reena Rouge at my side, I swing towards the river, hoping Chat Noir kept the villain busy long enough. I assume Eala showed up at some point, so surely he’s held his own; it took me longer to find Alya and give her her miraculous than usual. She’d been geocaching with Nino, and the two of them had found some very tucked-away places.

“She’s got telekinesis?” Reena asks.

“Yes,” I say, swerving around a building. “That’s why we need your illusions.”

“Makes sense,” Reena says as we arrive at the river. We drop to the ground and are immediately met with the scene of something that’s gone very, very wrong.

The river is empty, save for a few pieces of debris that used to be a boat. Amelie is crumpled in the middle of the sidewalk. Felix’s head is lolling from where he’s propped up next to a garbage bin, and his face is deathly pale. Chat Noir is nowhere to be found, but Adrien is crouched next to Celeste, who’s lying at the base of a building with her hands on her chest. My eyes flicker back to Felix and those garbage bins- his face is so, so pale.

My earrings flash, and I curse under my breath. “Thanks, Alya,” I say, dragging her back before they can see us, “but it looks like Chat took care of the villain.” I pull her into an alleyway and take her miraculous back, then make it look like I’m soaring back across the city, when really I’m just dropping into a different alley and de-transforming and tucking Reena Rouge’s necklace into my purse along with the pushpin I got from my Lucky Charm.

I sprint out of the alleyway, not looking, and run smack into something. I squeal, falling over.

“Sorry,” Luka says, offering me his hand. I blink several times, mouth opening, and then I take his hand, letting him help me up. “Must’ve forgotten where I was.” He frowns. “Weren’t you just at school?”

“Something was happening at the river,” I say. “I was worried about Felix and Adrien and Celeste. Aren’t they staying on your boat?”

“Oh no,” Luka says, alarm dawning in his eyes, and the two of us take off, running towards the river. We burst onto the scene, and I remind myself to look around and look surprised. Luka’s face pales more and more with every wrong element he sees.

“Adrien!” Luka cries, running over to him. “What happened?”

“She- she,” Adrien says, gasping, “she was just a way to get an akuma to- to Celeste.” His eyes fill up with tears. “And I didn’t see what she did to Felix, and she threw me against a building, and she delivered the akuma right to Celeste’s heart.”

“Marinette, call an ambulance,” Luka says, his eyes worried. He drops to Celeste’s side; Adrien gets up and slowly, gingerly makes his way to Felix. I see the difficulty he has moving, and I wonder how hard she threw him.

“Can I?” I say softly to Adrien. “I know you wanted to hide from your families.”

“Call it,” he groans, “or something much worse than dealing with psychotic adults will happen.”

Luka gives me a ride on his bike over to the hospital once the ambulance takes the four of them away; we follow them as closely as we can but the ambulance with sirens is a lot faster than a bike with two people stuffed onto it. I hold onto Luka’s waist and try to ignore the butterflies.

When we get there, it takes a while to find them- Felix apparently has bad internal bleeding and has to be taken into surgery almost immediately so we’re not allowed to see him, but then they realize that one of the blonde boys is Felix Graham de Vanilly and one is Adrien Agreste, and they need one of us to identify them since Adrien passed out from a combination of pain and pain meds on the way over. So that’s how I manage to be sitting with Luka in chairs next to his bed while we wait for the results of his x-rays.

“You really- you really meant what you said this morning?” Luka says softly.

“What?”

“Before school.” Luka looks me in the eyes, and as always I’m taken aback by the soft warmth of his gaze. “You meant it?”

“Luka,” I say, my heart beating a hole in my chest, “your girlfriend is unconscious.” We haven’t found Celeste yet.

“I know,” he says quietly. “I know.”

A doctor shows up then and we both sit up. He smiles. “He’ll be fine,” the doctor says. “He’s got four cracked ribs, so he’s gonna be in some pain and we’d recommend keeping him here for a little while to make sure there’s nothing we missed. His father has been called.”

“We ought to leave, then,” Luka says. “Give Mr. Agreste time with his son.”

I lean closer to him. “Is that a good idea?”

“It’s a hospital. He can’t be a dick here,” Luka mutters under his breath. “Excuse me, sir,” he says to the doctor, who’s trying to leave. “Can you point me in the direction of Celeste Vasseur?”

“What is your relation to the patient?” the doctor says, tapping something on his tablet and looking over his wire-rimmed glasses at Luka.

“She’s my girlfriend,” Luka says. “And I don’t think anyone else will show up for her, and I’m worried-”

“Yeah, we’ll let you see her,” the doctor says with a chuckle, holding up his hand. “Don’t worry, you don’t need to overthink this.” He smiles at Luka. “Room 154, son.”

Luka thanks the guy and turns to me. “You coming?”

“Yeah,” I say, following him. Luka finds the room pretty easily; I bite my lip as we enter. I watch Luka’s face get pale as he sees her- Celeste’s small body lying in a bed, her face pale, her eyes wide.

“What- excuse me,” Luka says, flagging down another doctor. Her hair is twisted up against the back of her head and her lips are thin. “Are you her doctor? I’m her boyfriend.”

“Oh- yes, yes,” the doctor says, frowning ever so slightly. “Is her family here?”

“I don’t think they’ll show,” Luka says bluntly.

The doctor sighs. “Well, we’ve run tests, and it appears she is in a coma.” Luka’s jaw drops, and his face goes white. I rub his shoulder, watching him worriedly as she continues, “we’ve treated her for the injuries we’ve found. So there’s no reason she shouldn’t wake up.”

“Is there anything I can do?” Luka says, his voice weak.

“Get Ladybug to do her reverse-time thing,” the doctor says wryly. “That’d be bound to do something.”

My jaw drops. I forgot.

Goddammit, I forgot.

My fingers close around the pushpin in my purse, realizing that the horror of the scene had distracted me from my job. How could I mess up like this?

“I- I have to go,” I say, turning from Luka, but he barely notices, as he’s sunk into a chair by Celeste’s side and is holding her hand. I run out of the room, into the stairwell, and in a minute I’m bursting onto the roof, hands on my knees and breathing hard, seeing Felix’s pale face in my mind.

Why the hell am I seeing Felix’s face? I groan, grabbing my head, and then I duck around the back of the stair building and make sure no one can see me. “Tikki, I messed up,” I hiss.

“I was going to remind you, but you ran into Luka,” she says sweetly.

“Not the time!” I say. “Tikki, spots on!”

I transform, and immediately cry “Miraculous Ladybug!” and throw the pushpin into the air. I detransform almost immediately after, watching the magic happen as Marinette. As soon as the last sparkle vanishes from sight, I’m tearing back downstairs, passing Celeste’s room and heading straight to Adrien’s.

He’s sitting up in his bed, blinking. “I- Ladybug came through,” he says, breathless. “Where’s Felix? Where’s Celeste?”

“Luka’s with Celeste,” I say, out of breath. “I haven’t seen Felix.”

“Nurse!” Adrien calls, and a young man comes over. “My cousin, Felix- where is he?”

“I- I’m sorry,” the nurse says, blinking fast. I don’t take it as a good sign. “We- we lost him on the table. I’m so sorry.”

We stand in stunned silence for a moment. Felix. Snarky, recklessly charming, cruel Felix. He can’t be dead. Not because of my negligence.

“No,” I say, my breath catching. “No, Ladybug fixed it. Ladybug made it better. He’s fine now.”

“Do you want to see him?” the nurse says, his eyes sad.

“Yes,” Adrien says. “Yes.”

Felix’s body is still warm.

I sob when I see it on the hospital bed, sob when I realize that this was my fault. “Can Ladybug fix it if the person. . . died?”

“I don’t know,” Adrien says. My vision blurs with tears and I fall onto him, holding onto Adrien like he’s the only thing that matters. The way he used to be for me. Back when my room was covered in his pictures and his schedule. Then I grew up, and I realized how creepy I was, and I redecorated with all sorts of fashion models and pictures of Ladybug and Chat Noir and patterns and sewing fabrics, my crush on him fading ever so slightly into the back of my mind. But now- now I long for the simpler time of a younger girl, back when I hadn’t killed someone.

“He’s not dead,” Adrien says softly. “I refuse to believe it.”

He steps forward, shrugging me off, and I pull a chair up to Felix’s side and I hold his hand, tracing circles with my thumb. Adrien leans over Felix’s chest, putting his ear to where his heart would beat.

I watch, scared. Scared of what I might hear. God, how could I have been so stupid? How could I have let Felix’s face derail me so? I mean, the guy’s been spending weeks trying to  _ court _ me, to  _ pamper _ me like a fool, to make me forget the horrible person he was the night of the Snow Ball.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper to him. “I’m sorry.”

“Marinette,” Adrien says, and I look up and there are tears in his eyes but he’s smiling. “Ladybug fixed him- she fixed him enough.”

“She did?” I gasp, and I put my fingers to his wrist and it’s weak and it’s barely there, but it’s a pulse. “She did!” I sob. “Oh, Felix.”

“I’m going to get the nurse,” Adrien says, getting up. He leaves the room quietly, flashing me a grateful smile as he slips out.

I sit there quietly for a bit, not wanting to say anything. His eyes are closed, and his face is so peaceful, but there’s still a trace of the classic Felix smirk. I sit with him in the silence, until it’s so oppressive and he’s so still I feel I must talk, especially since he’ll remember nothing.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper to Felix. “For everything, and I’m sorry I let you lead me astray and try to hurt Celeste but I’m sorry I haven’t been nice to you as well.” I hiccup, wiping a tear off my cheek while never letting go of his hand. “I thought I hated you, but then I saw you dead. Or at least I thought you were dead.” I laugh, sniffing. “And I want to give you a chance, Felix, because it seems I really need you in my life.” I press a kiss to his hand because it seems right in the moment.

At least, it seems right until a croaky voice says, “I’m sorry too.”

“Ah!” I scream. I look at him, and his eyes are tired but they’re open, and his face is smiling. “You heard that?”

“I heard it,” he says, his smile growing. “And I’m sorry too. I’ve been awful.”

“Well, you died today,” I say, crying out of happiness now. “I think that’s a perfect reason for a fresh start.”

“C’mere,” Felix says, pulling my hand. “I wanna whisper you something.”

“Oh-okay,” I say, leaning close to his face, but he reaches up and turns my head ever so slightly as he presses a kiss to my cheek. I pull back, surprised, but he’s just lying on the pillows, the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on his face.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” he says, his voice still hoarse.

I smile, leaning back towards him, staring into his brilliant green eyes. “I think you’ll get some more chances.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please, please leave comments! i went kinda rogue with this chapter, so tell me your thoughts! :)


	46. a lot of pain on many fronts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright y'all, i feel like we've definitely reached the halfway point on this fic. either that or i need to plan better :)

Something lifts in my chest, making it lighter as though the pain is a dark room and a window has been cracked, letting sunshine filter in and illuminate the dust in the air. I crawl towards the crack, the source of the light, and weakly shove it open, forcing my way out. My eyes are void, the light too overwhelming, but I still lift myself to the windowsill and pull myself over the lip and wiggle out, and then I’m falling, spiralling through the air bathed in golden light.

My eyes snap open.

My heart is beating vivaciously fast, like I’ve just run a marathon. My body hurts like I’ve just run a marathon. Did I run a marathon?

The memories hit me a second later. No marathon, just an akuma in my chest. I look around now, moving my eyes but not my head, seeing the beeping machines, the white ceiling, the papery sheets. Yup, we’re back in the hospital. I make a noise in my throat just then, and I feel my hand squeezed.

I turn my head, and I see Luka, blinking his eyes like he just fell asleep. “Luka,” I say, my voice hoarse.

“Oh, Celeste,” he says, a breath rushing out of him, and he jumps to his feet and gives me the best hug he can. “Baby,” he murmurs in my ear as he presses against me uncomfortably.

“Ow,” I say, laughing. “Less pressure, Luka!” He recoils, a guilty look on his face. “Sorry, everything’s sore,” I explain.

“I’m sorry,” he says, his hair falling into his face. It’s messy, messier than I’ve ever seen it.

“Don’t be,” I say, blinking. “Are you okay? You look a bit messed up.”

“I- I’ve been here all night,” Luka says, sighing. “Waiting for you to wake up.” He looks me in the eyes, shaking his head. “You scared me.”

“Well, an akuma in my chest is new,” I say, trying to make a joke out of it. Neither of us laughs, though. “They didn’t use to affect me as much as that one did.”

“It’s the first one in a while, right?” Luka says softly. “I mean, the last one was what, the one that burned you?”

“It has been a while,” I realize. “But the first one didn’t go through my skin like that one did.”

“Something’s changed,” Luka says. He opens his mouth to say something else, but he hesitates.

“What is it?” I ask, my heart sinking. The look in his eyes and the muscle twitching at the corner of his mouth makes me think it’s not good.

“Celeste,” he says, his mouth moving as though there’s a thousand things he wants to say but can’t put them in words. “Celeste, you know I care about you.”

“I care about you, too,” I whisper, knowing what’s coming with a growing sense of finality.

“That’s- that’s why,” Luka says, struggling for words, “that’s why you and I. Why you and I have to break up.”

I make a noise in my throat, but he continues. “I want to be honest with you, because you deserve that, at least- you deserve the world, really, you deserve to be happy.” He swallows, his eyes sad, and I feel the tears welling in mine. “At the Snow Ball, Marinette came to me and confessed her feelings for me. I told her- I told her I was happy with you.” Luka sniffs, and I see his own tears. “But I kept thinking about her, and today- this morning- she kissed me.”

“You’re breaking up with me for Marinette,” I say slowly. My voice is thick.

“Yes,” Luka says, “yes, and you have every reason to hate me, but you are special to me, Celeste, and I want to be with you, I do- I just- it’s not fair to you to be invested only in me, and for me to be invested in you and thinking of her.” He falls silent and we sit there, tears running down my face as the most steady, dependable person in my life is neither.

“Get out.” I look up at him, my voice shaking. “I- I don’t want to see you right now.”

“I understand,” he says, and he stands up and looks back at me, a tear tracing the curve of his cheek, and I turn away because I don’t know if I’m about to cry like a baby or lunge out of my bed and strangle him. “Celeste-”

“Get. Out.” I say, and it looks like I’m gonna cry as he slips away and I let my hair fall in a curtain across my face as I choke back the tears that caress the corners of my face, dripping down until they touch my jawline and running to my chin, where they leap to the bedsheets. They curl around my nose and touch my lips and I taste their saltiness.

Eventually a nurse comes to find me and check on me, and she gives me sedative drugs since apparently I’m ‘hysterical’ and I could hurt myself. She gives me a sympathetic look as she leaves and the drugs kick in; I find myself still conscious but in a haze and the world seems cloudy. The pain fades, and I’m staring at the ceiling, lying on my back with my arms hugging my chest.

I hear footsteps. “Luka, you need to get better at breaking up with people,” I mumble, “because I told you to get out and you’re doing a terrible job.”

“Not Luka,” Adrien says, sitting on the edge of my bed. “Did he really break up with you?”

I squint at him, his golden hair giving his head a halo. “Yeah,” I say, my voice dragging out. “He likes. . . Marinette.” I’m finding it difficult to speak, but I can’t tell if it’s the subject we’re talking about or the drugs in my veins.

“I’m so sorry,” Adrien says, his voice cracking. “I know you cared a lot about him.”

“Yeah,” I say, and a tear slides across my temple.

“Can I hug you?”

I smile sadly. “Usually yes, but everything hurts.”

“I saw you get akumatized,” Adrien says. “It’s never gone  _ into _ you before, has it?”

“No,” I mumble, barely more than a groan. I focus on the rest of my words, “something’s changed.”

“A lot is changing,” Adrien says.

“Where are we gonna  _ go _ ?” I moan. “I mean, not the boat, right?”

“We’ll figure it out,” he says, reaching up and putting his hand on my knee, just letting me know he’s there. “We’ll come up with something.”

“You most certainly will  _ not _ ,” a stern voice says, and Adrien’s head whips around and I make out a blurry tall man in a white shirt and red pants. Gabriel Agreste.

“Father!” Adrien gasps, his voice full of panic. “Father, I-”

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” Gabriel says, folding Adrien into his arms. “I’ve been worried sick.”

“I’m sorry,” Adrien says, “what? I thought you’d be furious!”

“Amelie snapped,” Gabriel explains, “and we’re so glad we’ve finally got her locked up; now you three can come home.”

“I- locked up?” I say, trying to sit up and failing. Gabriel comes over to the chair once used by Luka.

“She’s been sent away,” Gabriel says, and he gives me a look that confuses me- I can’t read his eyes at all. “She can’t hurt you anymore, Celeste.”

“Felix?” I ask, turning my head slightly towards Adrien.

“He’s unaware,” Gabriel says. “He had a tough day today.” He looks at me. “He died, but Ladybug brought him back.”

“He- he died?” I say, my heart pounding. My mouth gapes and I try to speak, try to find words, but they elude me. I try to catch my breath and fail, and Adrien puts a hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me.

“He’s okay,” Adrien says, looking into my eyes. “He’s okay.” I look into his eyes and I see his sincerity and his worry, and I slowly relax, sinking into the mattress. Everything seems so heavy all of a sudden- my limbs, my eyelids, my heart.

“Celeste needs to sleep,” Gabriel says, “so I’ll take you home with me, Adrien.”

“I’d rather stay here with her,” Adrien says. “Her and Felix aren’t discharged yet.”

“Last I checked, Marinette Dupain-Cheng was sitting with Felix,” Gabriel says. “We can get that Couffaine boy to sit with Celeste.”

“No, we can’t,” Adrien says, and he sits in the other chair. “You go home, Father. I’ll come back soon. Just let me sit with her a little longer.”

I want him to be comfortable, but I also don’t want to be alone, so I reach out for him, my hand foraging through the air until he takes it and squeezes it gently. Gabriel, who’s barely more than a fuzzy blob at this point, nods and leaves the room.

“I’m here for you,” Adrien says softly, and that’s the last thing I hear before I give in to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please please please leave comments!! :D


	47. gabriel still comes out on top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! so this chapter was really fun to write and went really quickly (aka i stayed focused on it and didn't go on pinterest for once). i'm about to go to the beach with my best friend in the universe, so next saturday might not have a chapter update- i'll try my best to write while i'm away, but if not there'll be a new chapter sunday or monday. hope everyone is still enjoying this!! :D

So Adrien won’t come home with me.

That’s fine, that’s fine, I just have to be careful not to let it slip how much I want to grab him by the arm and drag him home.

But I don’t think his desire to stay by Celeste’s side could ruin my plan. I mean, really, all the work I had to put in just to get to this point!

I may have promised Celeste I wouldn’t use her body for my experiments anymore. That’s fine. I took enough samples from her to where I’m set up for the next few weeks at least- but I don’t think it will be necessary. I saw from the way my akuma entered her heart that I’m close.

I stride out of the hospital, not caring enough to go find Felix and tell him his mother’s been taken away to a mental institution. That’s the one thing I didn’t lie about. Poor Amelie had to take the fall for this- it’s a shame, since I did actually like her somewhat. I’ll have to find a new source for Celeste’s negative emotions. Shame, since I always got a small leap of joy seeing the two of them bristle at each other. Dinner was my favorite meal of the day.

My bodyguard opens the door for me, and I slide into the backseat of the car, next to Nathalie. She turns to me. “Is she awake?”

“She is.” My bodyguard gets into the drivers seat and starts taking us home. “She’s not at full strength, though.”

“That means we’re getting closer.” Nathalie gives me a small smile, making a note on her clipboard. “I think another week, and we’ll have her.”

“I’m getting stronger,” I say, swallowing. Transforming Amelie and giving her such a strong power exhausted me; I only just woke up and ran to the hospital. “But I’ll need the week to plan for her.”

“She has the potential to be our strongest villain yet,” Nathalie says. “I think her negative emotions are strong enough to take down Ladybug and Chat Noir.”

“We’ll need to continue to withhold her father,” I muse. “She was very upset last night when Amelie refused to let her see him.”

“Consider it done,” Nathalie says. “I’ll take care of him when we get home. You should rest some more.”

I nod. We sit in silence for the rest of the car ride, and I go over designs in my head. I have several planned for my new collection- dark, twisted designs that I’ve been mulling over for a while. Designs that remind me of. . . me. Of Hawkmoth. They’re beautiful, lots of lace and velvet and evening gowns that hug your body and sharp, angled suits. Frankly, I think it’s my best collection yet.

But alas, it will never see the light of day. Not only is it almost too similar to Hawkmoth, it’s too personal. I have sketches of the clothes I keep in my lair, but no one else will ever see them.

The image that keeps playing out is of Celeste, of her lying on the bed. Trying to sit up, her eyes filled with pain at the mention of Felix’s death and the way they stilled, calmed like the sea after a storm when she looked into the eyes of my son. Her frailty when she laid there, her hand reaching for my son’s, somehow supported by that thin, pale wrist. The way her grey eyes flashed with fear when I entered the room, and the way they shuttered off shortly after, as though she didn’t want me to see.

A new piece comes into my mind- a sundress, pale grey like those eyes, flimsy and fragile like her bones, tiered but irregularly- and I almost leap out of the car when we come home, barely restraining myself to walking quickly to my office and sketching it out on a pad of paper. Nathalie follows me and looks over my shoulder.

“Interesting,” she says. “She’s taking over your head.”

“I don’t like it,” I say. “But I need something.” I haven’t released any new designs in a while and I’m due for a new one. I peruse the drawing, looking for potential edits. It’s February; no one wears a sundress like this. I add mesh sleeves to my drawing, and erase the spaghetti straps of the dress. I add mesh to the rest, and smile. “This’ll do.” It’s edgy and innovative, a play on a classic design, and I think it’ll fit whatever I end up doing. It fits my style.

“You can use it,” Nathalie says. “You’re buying back their trust, are you not?”

“Get her to model with my son?” I think it over. “I’d need more than a week, and I don’t even know how long it’ll take to get the rest of the collection in order.”

“So we’ll use it.” Nathalie jots something down. “She needs to look the part, so she’ll need the time as well.”

“Giving us time,” I note. Because my interest in Celeste’s appearance is purely for my own gain, naturally. Recently I’ve been trying to make sure she eats- it’s half-assed and I’m sure the wrong way to go about these things, but it gives me a great opportunity, and thus sets my plan in motion.

Nathalie and I have continued the testing without the help of our test dummy; we’ve been staying up in all hours in a makeshift chemistry lab I’ve constructed in my lair (I still hate the word ‘lair’ but frankly it gets the point across) and this is the reason I haven’t worked more on a new collection. I’ve done more research on her late mother and her genetics work, and I found out more about when she did a research study in Ireland. At this time, the butterfly miraculous was in the possession of someone else, along with the miraculous of the ladybug and the cat. I suppose there was a Guardian in Ireland who distributed these.

I still have yet to find out about what specifically she researched, but she came home to her daughter Celeste after being exposed to both miraculous and akuma. I found evidence that she was akumatized and changed the genetic makeup of everyone she encountered, creating monstrous hybrids of humans and animals or enhancing pre-existing genetic conditions. She caused a lot of psychological damage.

I found one article about the damage caused mentioning ‘the lady in white wings’ which makes me think of the swan miraculous. But it’s never mentioned past that point, which, frankly, is annoying. You’d think people would be more thorough.

After researching this, we assumed that Celeste’s mother made her immune to an akuma somehow. So Nathalie and I have been trying to find a substance that replicates an akuma that’ll hopeful overpower her natural resistance to them- because it’s not foolproof, it’s merely a strength of hers, and any strength can become a weakness. After a little while, we came up with a solution that we thought would work, some chemicals to break down her body’s natural defenses that I infused with the dark energy I give my akumas. The only issue was administering it to her.

But at that point, my son connected the dots about Celeste’s ARFID, and he asked me about it, specifically about how to help her. I told him I’d take care of it, not planning to make anything of it until I realized the possibility. So Nathalie started designating which plate of food was hers and she and I made a powdered version of our chemical solution that was easily mixed in.

Every night Celeste thinks I care about her, and every night she’s taking me one step closer to my goal.

I needed a way to test it, to make sure it’d work. So I had a little chat with Amelie full of passive-aggressive statements, things that she’d take badly. She’s naturally prickly and bad-tempered, so it really wasn’t too difficult. She sat down at the dinner table as a bomb ready to explode. And Celeste, poor ignorant Celeste, lit the fuse without an issue.

After dinner, Amelie came to me to complain. I sat her down with a stiff drink, slowly lowering her inhibitions over the span of several hours, until the point where I told her she was being ridiculous and Celeste is a darling girl and her son would be a lovely match for her, wouldn’t you think?

I followed Amelie to Celeste’s room, and I saw the shock on her face when she saw Celeste and Felix curled up into each other, fast asleep. I noticed my son on the floor, protecting them, but I doubt Amelie did- she just lost her mind. I left at that point, and I’m not sure what happened, but had anyone seen me I wouldn’t have deniability. All I know is that the children got away and Amelie was furious, mad beyond compare when she finally trudged into the house at six in the morning, and that was all I needed to draw her to my cause.

She was more than happy to be akumatized. She looked me in the eye, and I was struck by how alike she looks to my late wife, and she handed over her ring and let me put an akuma in it. I gave her the most powerful thing I could, and I was leaning on my cane more heavily than I would have liked, and she was slowly disassembling, both as a villain and as a human. I planned on this.

She was never supposed to really try for Chat Noir and Ladybug’s miraculous. She was supposed to find out who Eala was and she was a vessel. Eala never showed up, but then again, neither did Ladybug. So Amelie failed in one regard, but she made a beautiful vessel, and I got to see what progress looks like as Celeste collapsed in agony. I may not have the perfect solution to my problem, but I’m halfway there, and I liked the thought of my akuma- to get her in the heart. The heart’s merely an object in itself, and sure, it’s harder for me to give powers to organic material, but Ladybug and Chat Noir aren’t going to think about ripping out her heart, are they?

Amelie remained a liability, and I accounted for that. I provided security footage of her outburst in the parlor, and I showed the hospital security a clip of her grabbing Celeste and shoving her down the stairs. Nathalie and I visited her- the akuma took its toll on her, and she was babbling all over the place. When she saw me, she started crying and pointed to me and cried out, “It’s Hawkmoth! He’s Hawkmoth!”

This would be an issue if not for the video footage providing her a motive to lie about me, and if not for the fact that I’m Gabriel Agreste. No one would dare accuse me of such a crime, and thus she was carted away. The woman I don’t trust, the woman who shares the face of my love, the woman who knows my secret- she is gone and she will not come back.

This also gave me an opportunity to come in blameless, to offer Adrien solace at home and to promise love and safety to some battered children. They may be close to adulthood, but they crave protection and the love of family. I already knew that Luka boy had broken up with Celeste- I almost laughed when I heard, for another weakness only made her more likely to come back to me. I showed Adrien love, and thus I have his trust. I offer Celeste safety, and thus I have her trust. The tricky one will be Felix, but he will follow the two of them, thus I have all three.

Some may think I have failed- my akuma didn’t take Celeste fully, my strongest method of provoking her is gone. But I disagree.

I’m Gabriel Agreste, after all, and I will always be one step ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? please let me know!!! :)


	48. returning home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so i lied, not sunday or monday i guess. this chapter was kind of hard to write because i know exactly what i want to happen in this story, i'm just having a teeny bit of trouble connecting one event to the next. but never fear, because i will actually make a plan and all that for saturday's chapter! we're gonna get over the writer's block!! :D

Three days later, the three of us return home. Adrien refused to leave the hospital without us, Felix has been kept just because the hospital wants to watch the previously dead kid, and I almost passed out trying to walk the day after I woke up so I wasn’t allowed to leave until now. So it takes three days before we can leave.

The day we’re to be checked out, Felix comes and sits on the corner of my bed. “I finally won,” he says, smirking.

“Hello to you too,” I say, sitting up. “What’s it like being back in the land of the living?” He rolls his eyes and flicks my leg.

“It’s grand,” he says sarcastically. “I feel fine. Anyway, guess who just made out with Marinette?” He waggles his eyebrows.

I groan. “Wait- Felix, don’t say you  _ won _ , that sounds awful!” I try to kick him but he jumps up.

“Well, she played hard enough to get.” He plops back down. “Turns out all I had to do was die.”

“That’s morbid,” I say.

“It happened, didn’t it?” Felix rolls his eyes again. “Anyway, you ready to get out of here?”

I look to my bedside table, where I have enough drugs to last me a lifetime. “Certainly looks like it.” I slowly push myself out from under the thin comforter, feeling my aching muscles try to remember how to move. “They said they think I should stay, but I want to go home. I hate the smell of this place.” I make my way over to the bathroom and shut the door, changing into my big chunky sweater and sweatpants slowly.

“Are you sure you should ignore them?” Felix calls as I lean heavily on the wall to pull up one leg of the sweatpants. “I mean, they graduated medical school and all that.”

“I’m going crazy in here,” I answer, hopping into the other leg. I wobble, my head spinning, and my hand slams against the door in a desperate attempt to stay upright.

“Celeste?” Felix says, and I hear the bedsprings creak as he gets up off the bed. “Celeste, do I need to come in there?”

“I’m good!” I say, my voice breathy. I’m starting to consider the nurses being right in me needing to stay, but I realize this right as I’ve pulled on my t-shirt and cardigan so I don’t think I have the energy to change back into that awful gown. “I’m coming out.”

I open the door to find Felix right there, his eyes boring into mine. “I was about to come in,” he says.

I frown, glaring at him. “And watch me change? Gross, Felix.”

“You know that’s not- fine, just fall and crack your head open. See if I care.” Felix rolls his eyes, gently leading me back to the bed. I flop across it while he pages the nurse to take me out and gathers my drugs. “Adrien’s gonna meet us outside, I think.”

“I’m here now,” Adrien says, poking his head in. He grins.

“I paged the nurse,” Felix grumbles, “and I get my cousin.”

“I’m glad he’s here,” I say, patting the bed next to me. “ _ He _ wouldn’t try to barge into the bathroom while I’m  _ changing _ .”

“I wasn’t even-” Felix growls, but Adrien shoves a bag of crackers in his hand to shut him up.

“I leave for like twenty minutes to get snacks and Felix tries to watch you change?” Adrien says, a mischievous look in his eyes.

“Such a pervert,” I say, nodding along with Adrien. Felix’s face turns bright red, and I think he’s about to explode when the nurse walks in, saving us from whatever Felix was about to say while steam comes out of his ears.

I’m wheeled out to the car (hospital policy but somehow Felix gets out of it) and the Gorilla drives us home. I’m excited- if Amelie’s in a mental institution, then surely I can see my dad, right? She won’t be able to hold me back. As we get closer and closer to home, my pulse quickens; my feet tap the floor, lively and with a mind of their own. We pull into the driveway, and Gabriel and Nathalie wait for us outside. My feet stop tapping when I don’t see him.

“Where’s my mother?” Felix asks as we get out of the car. Adrien gives him a confused look, holding out his arm for me to hang onto. I take it- the hospital  _ really  _ shouldn’t have let me leave.

“Your- oh my god,” I say, my heart sinking in my chest. No one told him.

“Your mother has been sent to a mental institution to deal with her emotional. . . imbalances,” Gabriel says curtly.

Felix’s jaw drops, and his mouth gapes for a moment, his eyes darting quickly from side to side. I step closer to him, reaching out to touch his arm, but he shakes his head. “Good,” he says in a dark, dark voice, and with that he strides quickly into the house without a look at any of us.

“I’ll go after him,” Adrien says. He moves to leave, but I grab his sleeve. He turns back to me and I look him in the eyes.

“Don’t- don’t leave me alone with him,” I say, barely louder than a breath. I clear my throat. “Help me up the stairs first?” I ask at a normal volume. 

Adrien’s face softens. “That’s probably a good idea,” he says. He lets me hold onto his arm as we climb the stairs with Gabriel and Nathalie.

“Where’s my father?” I ask Gabriel. “I assume he’s not with Amelie.”

“He’s not,” Gabriel says. “He’s with me.”

“Can I see him?”

“Not at the moment, no. He’s busy.” Gabriel opens the door for us, but I’m stopped dead in my tracks. Adrien tugs gently before realizing I’m not moving.

“He’s busy?” I say. “He’s  _ busy _ ?”

“He’s helping me with some research,” Gabriel says pleasantly. “I’ll tell him you said hello.”

“Bullshit,” I say, my blood boiling. “Bullshit! I was in a freaking  _ coma. _ I would like to  _ talk _ to my  _ dad _ .”

“He’s unavailable at this time,” Nathalie says. “You should go rest. Mr. Agreste and I will inform your father of your safe return.” They begin the retreat to Gabriel’s office, Gabriel ducking inside quickly.

“No!” I shriek, lunging through the entrance hall, trying to reach the office door, but Nathalie closes it quickly behind her and I fall to my knees, my legs feeling weak. “No,” I whisper, and I sniff, trying to hold back tears.

“Nathalie’s right,” Adrien says slowly, dropping to my side. “You- you should rest.”

“Bullshit,” I mumble, but I let him help me to my feet and lead me to my room. He slowly cracks open the door, then sighs.

“Should’ve known,” Adrien says to Felix, who’s sprawled on my bed. “I should have known.” He pulls back the covers so I can climb in, and Felix scoots over, giving me room. I crawl in, letting Felix lean his head on my shoulder.

“Why the  _ fuck _ ,” Felix says softly, “would they not tell me that my mother was committed?”

“I don’t know,” I say softly. “I don’t know anything, Felix.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love reading your comments!! they make me super happy and i love hearing your feedback!!! please keep it up i love you all!!!


	49. doors open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!! this was supposed to be a filler chapter but guess what! it's kind of not! so yay, get excited. anyway, i had fun writing this and it actually flew by (aka no pinterest breaks). :D

The next few days are bed rest for me. I tried once to leave my bedroom, then discovered the Gorilla was standing guard at my door. Slightly creeped out, I went to look for the rope to exit via my window, then remembered that first, Amelie cut it, and second, I don’t have the strength to climb ropes anyway.

Every day is the same- in the morning, Nathalie brings me my breakfast and I eat it while working on schoolwork. Adrien and Felix come in to say goodbye before school when I’m awake; when I’m not they leave a note. Adrien writes most of them- Felix called me a ‘limp hag’ in one and after that I imagine Adrien took him off the writing team. I work on schoolwork or I make a mix of a song or I read one of the dozens of sleep-inducing books stored in this room, and then Nathalie brings me lunch and I take a nap break. I usually end up sleeping until the guys get home, at which point I’m awakened either gently by Adrien or obnoxiously by Felix. They give me the schoolwork I missed from that day, and then I start it while they do their homework. Or, I’m supposed to. Most days we just sit around and talk- Felix tells me about him and Marinette and Adrien mentions an upcoming photoshoot for his father that he gets increasingly excited for.

One day Adrien bursts into the room at full volume, scaring me awake with a little yelp. “Jesus,” I say, sitting up and clutching at my chest. “Weak heart. Weak heart, remember?”

“Sorry,” Adrien says, bounding and jumping onto the edge of my bed, giving me another jolt. “Oh, but just wait until you hear this!”

“I hope I’ll still be alive,” I groan, when Felix comes in and flicks me on the arm.

“You’re fine,” he grumbles. I stick my tongue out at him and he gives me a mock punch on the arm. I pretend to be in great pain.

“Grow up,” Adrien says, “grow up, you two, because my dad wants the three of us to be models in the photoshoot for his new collection!”

“The three of us?” Felix and I say in unison.

“I thought it was just you,” I say.

“It should be just you,” Felix says.

“It was always going to be me and a girl, at least,” Adrien says, “but my dad thinks it could be an interesting approach with the two of you.”

“You mean with a bag of bones and someone who’s identical to the other model?” Felix says dryly.

“Bag of bones,” I say, mock hurt. “That goes up there with ‘limp hag’.”

“You are a limp hag,” Felix retorts, grabbing my arm, holding it up, and letting it drop. “Limp.”

“Apparently,” Adrien continues, ignoring the two of us, “the line is very dramatic, and he thinks he could come up with some sort of ‘black swan’ thing for me and Felix. And Celeste is getting better,” he says to Felix, turning to me. “You’re not nearly as bony.”

“Thank you,” I deadpan, “it means a lot.”

“Be proud of yourself,” Felix says, completely serious. “You have gotten a lot better.”

“It’s usually a texture thing,” I say, “and hospital food is pretty consistent, texture-wise. And my taste got screwed up from antibiotics, so that’s not really an issue either.”

“Well then,” Adrien says, “I guess one good thing came out of this.”

After three days of bed rest, I notice the Gorilla leaves at the same time every day- right in the middle of my nap break, which is discovered when he stubs his toe and grunts loudly. He comes back with a cookie and a cup of tea. This fact brings me great joy, firstly because it means I have a chance to get out of my room, and secondly because the cookie and cup of tea idea is adorable.

So on the fifth day, I leave my room instead of taking a nap. I don’t really know where I’m going, but I’m going somewhere. I feel strong, strong enough to leave the house, which is convenient because I need to get out of here before I lose my mind. I still haven’t seen my dad, and every moment in this house is a reminder that something is wrong. So dressed in baggy lilac sweatpants and a grey t-shirt and a pair of black converse high-tops, I manage to sneak out the front door.

The stairs prove to be an immediate problem, but gripping tightly to the railing I make my way down, rogue strands of hair that escaped my messy ponytail quickly plastered to my forehead with a light sheen of sweat. My heart beats furiously as I reach the bottom, and once again I’m aware of how bed rest truly was a good idea. The reason I don’t go back into the house is that I’d have to climb the stairs, and I certainly do not feel up to that right now.

So I make my way out the front gate and down the street, with one goal in mind- make it to Mom’s grave, since I haven’t visited in a while. It seems as good a place as any, and how mad can anyone be at me for trying to visit my mother?

It turns out I myself can be very mad for trying to visit my mother, and that’s how I end up sitting up against the brick wall of a building, trying to slow my pulse. I made it kind of far, actually- I’d reckon I’m over halfway there by now. The issue is that I’m kind of far and I’m ready to go home.

“Too bad,” I mumble, taking a hesitant step. Then another. “You’re gonna see her. You can walk to her, however long it takes.” She can’t walk to me. I will walk to her. “You dug your grave,” I mutter under my breath. I wish I’d stolen Gabriel’s walking stick somehow.

“Celeste?” a pretty voice says, and I turn to see who it is.

“Juleka!” I say breathlessly. Her long hair is pulled up into a bun, with little strands hanging around her face, along with those fringe bangs that keep me from seeing both her pretty eyes. “Aren’t you- aren’t you in school right now?”

“I had a dentist appointment,” she says slowly, walking quickly to my side. “I was heading back now- what are you doing? I thought you were on bed rest for the rest of the week.”

“I am,” I say, taking another step forward, “but I was going crazy, and- and I wanted to visit my mom.”

“Oh,” she says, her cheeks turning pink for a moment. “Celeste- do you need help? You don’t look so good.”

“Well,” I say, trying to smile, “that akuma screwed my heart pretty well. So in retrospect, this was a bad idea.” I take a deep breath, trying to calm the pounding. “But I made it this far, so I’m going the rest of the way.”

“Let me help you, then,” Juleka says, looping her arm around my waist and mine around her neck. I lean on her, grateful. Her lithe body has no issue keeping me upright. “How’re you doing,” she says carefully, “after my brother was an enormous dick?”

“Oh,” I say, a sharp pain in my heart panging, “that. I’m- I’m okay, I guess. Adrien and Felix have been great.”

“They’re like brothers to you, right?” Juleka says, turning the corner. I hop, almost falling over, but she steadies me.

“Yeah, kind of,” I say, panting. “Felix is annoying and Adrien’s caring, so I guess if you put them together you get what I’d imagine a brother to be.” I take a deep breath. “I’m an only child, so it’s kind of nice.”

“Yeah, annoying and caring sounds right,” Juleka says. She chuckles, her amber eyes glittering. “If it makes you feel better, Luka broke up with you for Marinette, who started dating Felix the same day.”

“Yeah,” I say, grinning. “Felix has been trying to win her over for a while.”

“Serves him right,” Juleka grumbles, “for letting you go.” She turns to me and her eyes meet mine. I can’t help it- my lips part in shock. “Don’t look at me like that, he’s an idiot.”

“Sorry,” I say, and from that point on I can’t catch my breath to talk for the rest of the walk.

We reach the graveyard- Juleka leads me to my mom and proceeds to wander the rest of the time. I lie on my back in the grass, my hand where I imagine hers would be if she were lying up here with me instead of six feet under the ground.

“I made it,” I say, my breath short and quick. “Mom, I made it.” I cough, spots in my eyes, then laugh to myself. “Shouldn’t have left,” I say, smiling, “if that had gone badly, I could be with you now.”

“I almost was with you, Mom,” I say, swallowing. I close my eyes. “Hawkmoth hasn’t akumatized anyone since he tried again with me, and I feel like he’s biding his time.” I take a deep breath. “On one hand, it’s great, because I don’t think I’m up for Eala right now. But on the other hand, if he’s waiting it means he’s probably got a reason- he could just kill me, I think. I really think he could just kill me, but he hasn’t, so he wants me for something, which is so much worse.

“It’s kinda weird, Mom, cause I’m just staying in this city for you, but I think staying in this city is going to be the death of me.” I turn to look at her tombstone. “I don’t think I’d be able to leave if I wanted to- you’re here, and my friends are here, and I don’t even know where Dad is. Did I tell you about that?”

I’m filling her in on Dad and all the shit Gabriel’s pulling, and it’s very peaceful, when I hear a car pulling up nearby. I sigh, knowing exactly who it is.

“Are you out of your  _ mind _ ?” Felix yells. I feel heavy footsteps in the grass, knowing without looking that the Gorilla’s coming my way. “You could have  _ killed _ yourself, Celeste!”

“I’m fine,” I say. “I love you, Mom. Miss you.” I kiss my fingertips and press them to her tombstone right as Felix’s pissed face and the Gorilla’s impassive face loom over me.

“You!” Felix says, whirling, and I realize that Juleka’s still here. “You helped her?”

“She was halfway to passing out. I just helped her here,” Juleka says, shrugging. “And I like graveyards.” She sighs. “Celeste, I’m gonna head home now that you're taken care of.”

“You’d better head home, you-” Felix starts, but Adrien walks up calmly and claps a hand over his mouth.

“Juleka doesn’t hate you yet,” Adrien says quietly. “You might want to remember that.”

Felix grumbles. “Celeste, I’m gonna kill you.”

“Not if you end up hurting yourself first,” Adrien says sternly. His eyes have disappointment in them. “Celeste, the photoshoot is tomorrow! You can’t jeopardize that!”

I flinch. “I’m sorry,” I say, remorse in my voice. The Gorilla scoops me up and starts walking to the car, and I don’t care enough to protest. “I really am, I shouldn’t have gone, and I figured that out pretty quickly, but I didn’t think I could make it up the stairs.”

“You realized that at the freaking  _ house? _ ” Felix yells, but Adrien puts a hand on his arm.

“I was going crazy,” I say. “I needed- I needed to see her.”

Adrien’s eyes meet mine, and he nods. “Tell us next time. You’re lucky we saw you lying there.”

“I know,” I say. I don’t really. 

Right now I feel anything but lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love seeing your comments!!! please keep it up!!! :D


	50. my first (and last) photoshoot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter fifty!!! this is wayyyyy farther than i thought i'd get but i'm still going! this is really fun, guys!!!
> 
> also this chapter goes to eventide, who has commented on SO MANY CHAPTERS and never fails to make me smile. thank you so much!!!

The morning of the photoshoot turns me off of modelling for life. Maybe just photoshoots with meddling Gabriel.

“Wake up,” Nathalie says, poking her head into my room. I blink, sitting up blearily and looking at the time.

“I thought beauty sleep was a thing,” I mumble, rubbing my eyes. “It’s three in the morning, Nathalie.”

“Gabriel wishes to capture the sunrise,” she says, her expression making me think she’s not happy to be up herself. “Come to breakfast, and then we’ll start getting everything packed up.” She leaves, but doesn’t close the door, which makes me roll out of bed to block the light filtering through the crack.

I mumble some choice words while I pull on a baggy sweatshirt and tie the clumps of hair falling into my face back into a low ponytail. Then I shuffle down the hall and make my way into the dining room, where Felix and Adrien are identical in matching pajamas. I can tell them apart by the expressions on their faces- Felix looks like he’s going to murder someone, and Adrien looks positively charged with excitement.

“Cute jammies,” I say. Felix’s eyes dart to mine, and I see that they’re filled with rage. I put my hands up. “Sorry, won’t mention the jammies.”

“He’s not a morning person,” Adrien supplies. He gestures to a tray in the center of the table with yogurt and fruit.

“Generous of you to call this ‘morning’,” I say, taking a fruit cup from the middle of the table. “Ooh, pineapple.”

“My father likes the sunrise,” Adrien says, shrugging.

“Has he heard of the sunset? Just as pretty, at a lovely time of day?”

“Different light,” Adrien says, grinning. “You’ll get used to it.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Felix grumbles. He stabs a strawberry with enough force that I flinch.

After breakfast, we’re driven on an hour drive to what Gabriel describes as “the scene” and what Felix describes as “a lake”. It’s pretty- there’s a meadow wrapping around the lake, which is lined in black rocks and pebbled sand. The meadow has lots of long grasses that make me think of ticks, but Gabriel assures me there’s nothing there.

“You won’t need to worry,” he says, waving Nathalie over. “Now, I need you in hair and makeup so we can start.”

Gabriel apparently spared no expense- there are three trailers parked next to the Gorilla’s car. One of the trailers is hair and makeup for the three of us, one is for the clothes, and one is for Gabriel and Gabriel only, as he repeated time and time again in the car. I follow Felix and Adrien into the hair and makeup trailer.

It becomes quickly apparent that I will need the most time in this trailer. Adrien’s out of there first, his hair made neat and minimal makeup required. Felix’s hair becomes artfully messy and his makeup takes longer, partially because he protests every step and partially because they spend twenty minutes trying to contain the bags under his eyes. I’m stuck there for another half hour after that, waiting as they try to make my face look normal and mess with my hair. I’m actually impressed with what they come up with- my eyes are smoky and dramatic, my lips are painted a dark, deep red, and my hair is pinned up tightly on one side and left to cascade in voluminous curls down the other.

When I step out of the trailer, Adrien grins at me. He’s wearing a white suit that fits him perfectly. “You look great- you should probably get dressed, though.”

“You look sharp,” I say, grinning back, but then Nathalie sees me and drags me into the trailer with what I refer to in my head as ‘costumes’.

Gabriel’s waiting for me. “Felix is in the left dressing area, but you could squeeze into the other one,” he muses, rifling through clothes. This collection seems to be very monochromatic- I don’t see a single color that’s not white or black or grey. “Here, this is going to be the first piece, I think. Nathalie, help her get dressed, will you?” He makes a note in a notebook, snaps it shut, then ducks into a curtained-off area on the left side on the trailer. I hear a yelp from Felix.

Nathalie grabs the dress Gabriel selected for me and drags me into the other curtained area. I don’t make eye contact with her while undressing- especially not when she tells me to remove my bra as well. “The dress is a bodysuit with an overskirt,” she says when I hesitate. “There’s no need for a bra.”

She buttons up the back for me and arranges it, pinching fabric in some places, pulling on the straps, fluffing the skirt. Then she steps back with a proud look. “Alright, that’s settled- I’ll go ask Gabriel what shoes he wants for you.” She ducks out of the curtain and I follow her, stopping when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

My hair falls dramatically over one shoulder, cascading onto a bare shoulder covered in nothing but a lone spaghetti strap. The neckline of the dress is wide and plunging- the straps almost fall off my shoulders, and the neckline connects them but lazily, the two sides meeting at a point just below my ribcage. Nothing is hidden- none of the hollows in my body are masked, not with the tight, dark grey bodysuit. Just below the neckline’s meeting point is where the overskirt starts, and it’s beautiful- a long, glittering, sheer skirt that lets you see where the bodysuit ends and where my legs begin. The entire dress glitters with tiny gems, and with the dramatic hair and makeup, I have never felt more exposed and more beautiful in my life.

The trailer door opens and Felix steps in. “I was looking- oh.” He stops dead in his tracks. “Celeste- I- Celeste, you look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” I say, breathless. “I feel exposed.” I take him in, just then. With his messy hair and dark suit, grey that’s almost black- “You look like a formal Chat Noir.”

“I do, don’t I?” Felix says, chuckling.

“In a good way,” I say, nodding. “What were you looking for?”

“You,” he says. “And I was supposed to tell you your shoes are in the green box.”

I locate the green box and pull out a pair of dark grey gladiator sandals that’ll reach halfway up my calf. “Oh, god.”

When I do finally figure out the shoes, I take Felix’s arm and we exit the trailer together. Gabriel is barking orders at people, who are setting up lights and cameras and all sorts of things. I squeeze Felix’s arm. “I hate this,” I whisper. “I feel like we’re his puppets.”

“Suck it up,” Felix says. “It’ll be over faster.”

“Celeste, Felix!” Adrien calls. He’s sitting on the pebbled shore of the lake. “Come on!”

“No shoes yet,” Gabriel shouts at me. I sigh, leaning on Felix for balance as I wiggle the stupid things off. The grass is soft on my toes, and I hand the shoes off to Nathalie, hiking up my skirts with one hand and holding onto Felix with the other as we make our way down there.

Gabriel positions the three of us as the sky begins to lighten ever so slightly. He has me show off the backless dress by making me face the lake but turn my head over my shoulder, one hand lightly resting on Adrien’s chest and the other on his arm. Our faces are inches apart, and I’m remembering the night on the rooftop ever so clearly. Felix sits on a black rock next to us, and Gabriel tells me to look at him. He runs out and primps us, fixing my hair and Felix’s suit and turns Adrien so he’s more curled around me, and then as the sun begins to rise, the camera starts flashing. My eyes never leave Felix’s.

“Move around, interact,” Gabriel says, so I turn away from Felix and rest my head on Adrien’s shoulder. Flash, flash. Felix gets up from the rock and fixes his jacket. Flash, flash. Adrien twirls me, and I laugh. Flash. Then, dizzy, I stumble. Adrien takes a sharp breath, but Felix reaches out and grabs me, pulling me into him quickly.

“Seated shots now,” Gabriel says, eyeing the sky. “Celeste, you’re going to do a couple more shots in that dress before we change you.”

And so the morning progresses, with the three of us lounging on a pebbled beach- which isn’t comfortable, by the way- and I’m changed into a variety of white, black, and grey dresses and one gorgeous one-shoulder grey jumpsuit with a billowing overskirt Gabriel spreads around me. Most of my clothes are tight, or revealing, or sheer, or all three. Felix and Adrien cycle through their own respective clothing, some of it tight or revealing or sheer, and we all do shots together and separate. Gabriel tells us to ‘interact’ frequently, and we start getting better at it and loosening up.

“Last looks,” Gabriel says as we sit on a white blanket on the rocks next to the lake. I’m wearing a little dark grey dress with mesh sleeves and a tiered skirt. Felix and Adrien are both in all black, but Adrien’s is another suit and Felix is in a buttoned-up shirt and slacks. My head is in Adrien’s lap, and he’s playing with my hair. Felix’s hands trace my leg. “Interact, you three. You’re friends, and I want you to act like it.”

“Should I put my head in Adrien’s lap?” Felix suggests wryly. 

I giggle, sitting up and gesturing. “All yours.”

Felix leans down in Adrien’s lap. “How’s this?”

“I wish I could object,” Adrien says, shaking his head. “But if you and Celeste switched places, then shouldn’t she be touching your leg?”

“Interact  _ differently, _ ” Gabriel seethes. “This isn’t the concept I was going for.” His face looks pinched.

“Sorry, Father,” Adrien says, sighing. “Felix, move.”

“I’m comfy,” Felix says, closing his eyes. His mouth moves into a smirk.

Adrien sighs. “You leave me no choice.” He reaches down, grabs Felix’s shoulders, and heaves him up with as much power as he can muster, flinging Felix violently out of his lap and onto me. I yelp as crashes into me, falling backward with my hair spilling across the rock. Felix’s hands catch him, and he’s soon leaning over me, his hair flopping into his face and his eyes storming.

“That’s a wrap,” Gabriel says, his voice sounding pleased. “That’s a wrap. You three, come give your clothes back.” Felix doesn’t move, his green eyes boring into mine. His lips are parted, and I don’t hear his breaths. I can’t look away either.

“Felix,” Adrien says, tapping his shoulder. It’s like he broke a spell- Felix gets up quickly and wipes off his hands on his pants. “Come on.”

“Sorry,” Felix says to me, and then the two of them are walking back towards the trailer. I sit up and watch them go, trying to slow my heartbeat. 

“No worries,” I whisper, watching them go. “No worries at all.”


	51. felix goes on a date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello readers!!! i completely skipped last week's chapter, but i swear it was an accident- i took a six hour test that day, and to say my brain was fried afterwards is an understatement. so here you go- this week's chapter, all ready to go.
> 
> i start school this week! i'm not sure what that means for this, if i'll be able to write a chapter a week still or if i'll be so bored i'll get it done with no problem. so we'll have to play it by ear for a week or two, most likely. but i promise if i don't do a chapter one week, it'll happen the next week. i'm not gonna go two weeks in a row without posting, because we really are in the home stretch here, i think. so i'm excited!!

“Hey,” I say when she comes to the door. I swallow, smiling nervously at her while I rub my neck. “You look beautiful.”

Marinette blushes furiously. “Thanks,” she squeaks. She smoothes down the front of her pink polka-dotted dress. “You too.”

“Thank you,” I say, smiling easily now. My hair is gelled down as usual, despite both Adrien’s and Celeste’s protests. They also tried to get me to wear something more casual, but I wore the same suit I always wear, but with a jacket. I offer my arm to Marinette. “Shall we?”

She smiles, lighting up her beautiful face as she takes my arm. “We shall.”

I lead her down the sidewalk. “Did you sew the dress yourself?”

“I did!” she says excitedly. “It’s the same fabric I used for my Snow Ball dress, but I wanted to do something a bit more casual with it.”

“Well, it looks lovely,” I say, stepping away from her as I twirl her. She giggles as her skirt flares around her. “Are you working on anything else at the moment?”

“I’m working on a couple things,” she says, nodding. “You said Gabriel’s new collection is darker, right?”

“Very dark and dramatic. I’m worried for the man.” I turn her, leading her across the street to the park where I have a romantic picnic set up.

“I wanted to try to do something more dark and dramatic, right? Usually this is my style, but I also design more unisex clothing,” Marinette explains, “but anyway, nothing’s usually dark and dramatic. It’s usually classic, I guess? Anyway, I like challenging myself, but I feel like everything looks like it’s trying too hard.” We walk up to the picnic blanket and her jaw drops. “Felix! This is amazing!”

“Well, I’m trying to be a good boyfriend,” I say, escorting her to the blanket. She sits, folding her legs to the side and smiling as I sit across from her.

“Boyfriend, are we?” Marinette’s expression is coy.

“I mean, I assume so.” I raise an eyebrow as I open the picnic basket and pull out a bottle of sparkling cider. I pour some into a flute and hand it to her. “Unless you object?”

“I don’t object,” she says, laughing. “I don’t object at all. Felix, you’ve changed, you know that? You used to be all rude and mean, and now would you look at yourself! A gentleman.”

“A toast to the girl who initiated Felix 2.0,” I say, raising my own flute. She smiles, raising her own flute to mine with a clink. We both take a sip, and I grimace internally at the bubbles. I consulted Adrien about this date, and he said always to get sparkling drinks. I hate fizzy drinks, but he said it made everything more formal, so. . . bubbles.

“So what do we have to eat?” Marinette asks.

“Sandwiches,” I say, pulling out a platter. “And fruit, and macaroons that are probably nothing compared to the ones you make, but I wanted to get something you’re not surrounded by any day, so they’re from our kitchens.” I spread everything around the blanket.

Marinette smiles. “They look fantastic.” She reaches across the blanket and squeezes my arm.

We eat for a bit, talking about school, before she swallows her sandwich and looks up at me. “So how was the shoot? I want to hear all the details.”

“It was cool,” I say. “I think I’ll leave the modelling to Adrien, though. It was a lot of effort- Gabriel kept telling us to ‘interact’ and we’d have to pretend it was just the three of us.”

“It sounds interesting,” Marinette says, picking up a macaroon. “I’d love to see it.”

“Maybe Gabriel will want another random teenager shoot one day,” I say, rolling my eyes. “How are the macaroons?”

“Not bad,” she says. “I’ll admit, I could make better ones.”

“I’d like to see that,” I say, taking a bite of one. I try to refrain from making a face- it’s so obnoxiously sweet and I hate it. But Marinette likes sweet things.

“I’ll make some for you sometime,” she says. “What’s your favorite flavor?”

“I don’t really think I have one,” I say. “Is that weird?”

“A little,” she says. “I’ll experiment, then, and see what I come up with. It’ll be fun!”

We spend the rest of the evening pouring over each other’s sketchbooks by candlelight. Something about Marinette makes me open to sharing the few designs I have with her. She likes them, too, and she’s pointing out the things that make her look again and the things she hasn’t seen before. She’s not afraid to point out weird stuff, too.

“Those look like shoulder pads,” she notes, tapping a page of my sketchbook.

“They do not,” I scoff. I take another look. “They’re- they’re meant to appear powerful.”

“Shoulder pads,” she says, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, then what’s this?” I say, pointing to a sharp, angled dress. “Spiky.” I happen to think it looks like a sea urchin.

“I think it’s cool,” she says, yanking her book away from me. “It’s inventive. You don’t see stuff like this.”

“Sorry,” I say quickly.

“Don’t- don’t apologize,” she says. “I want you to speak your mind.”

“No- no, it’s cool.” It’s not, but whatever. It’s our first date. I don’t want to piss her off.

“I probably ought to get home,” Marinette says. “School tomorrow, and all that.”

“Yeah,” I say, so we pack up the picnic and I walk her home. We have that awkward moment at the door where we say goodbye and I’m not sure what to do, but I give her a hug and turn away, the picnic basket clenched so tightly in my hands that my knuckles are white. I know I kissed her at the hospital, but that was all in the moment, in a rush of clarity when I realized that I had died but I was not dead, and I wanted to seize life, and the easiest way to do that at that moment was my lips on her cheek. She’s Marinette; I could not name a girl more full of life if I tried.

The problem that I now see with dating Marinette is that I remade myself for her. I turned myself from someone who was only too willing to speak their mind into someone who hid themselves. At the risk of losing her, I feel like she’s not getting to know my true self, and frankly I miss my asshole side. But she’s made me a better person, and she appreciates my effort and I appreciate her because she  _ is  _ easy to talk to and she’s creative and fun and beautiful.

Up to this point, it was a game. I saw something I could not have, and I wanted to have it. I spent money on gifts and gestures and I made myself a little more like Adrien- I modelled, I was nice, I tried to make friends. I reconciled with Celeste, if only to prove that I was good enough to have Marinette, and I won the game, in the end. I have her.

Why doesn’t it feel better? Why don’t I have the same excitement I thought I would?

I slip quietly through the front door, trying to close it quietly as to not to wake anyone. I stand in the hall for a moment- I just went on a date. I want to tell my mother about it, but she’s not here because she snapped. And I saw it coming for a while, I knew it would happen, but it still hasn’t sunk in quite yet.

I hear a footstep, and I turn. It’s Celeste, wearing that giant purple sweater that hangs off her like a sack. “Felix,” she says nervously. “Hi.”

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” I say, tilting my head. “It’s late.”

“I could say the same to you,” she retorts. She crosses her arms, her brow furrowing.

“For your information, I had a date,” I say, tilting my nose up.

She rolls her eyes. “Oh, boy. Lemme guess- you traumatized some children in the park?”

“We- we just talked,” I say. I flush, then realize she doesn’t have to know anything.“Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Someone’s cranky,” Celeste says, sighing. “Anything happen?”

“As I said earlier,” I say, climbing the stairs, “it’s none of your business.”

“Okay, okay,” Celeste says, lifting up her hands. “I was only asking. Sorry I care about you or whatever.”

“You care about me,” I say, placing a hand over my heart. “Aw, that’s so  _ sweet _ .”

“You’re ridiculous,” she says, huffing. “You know that?” She yawns. “I’m gonna go to bed. Have all the sweet dreams of Marinette you want.” Celeste turns and starts making her way slowly back to her room.

“Oh, you  _ know _ I will,” I say, wiggling my eyebrows with the tone to match.

“Disgusting!” she calls back. “Seriously, I don’t want to hear it.”

I smile as I climb into bed that night. Sure, I may have an issue with figuring out how I feel about Marinette. And sure, she doesn’t know me and I feel like it’s a different version of myself with her. But I can be myself with Celeste. And that’s enough to make me happy for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please, please leave comments!!! i answered the most amazing one the other day that asked a really deep question and it made me think about writing this and what i want from it and how i could be writing better and it was amazing. so i really do love these comments!!!


	52. an awkward band practice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> over a thousand hits!!!! that's crazy!!! oh my god, that seems huge.
> 
> anyway, here's a new chapter! y'all, we really are winding down. the only issue is now with school i no longer have gobs of time to write. grrrrr.

I try to make it not obvious that I’m hiding behind Adrien as we walk towards the boat after my first day back at school. I mean, I’m not scared of band practice or anything. I’m not even scared of spending time with Felix anymore. But this’ll be the first time I see Luka after he broke up with me for Marinette, who’d somehow moved on to Felix already.

So, yeah. It promises to be awkward.

“Any new shows lined up?” Adrien asks Marinette as we walk onto the dock of the boat. Rose and Juleka are sitting near her on the couch. Luka is nowhere to be found.

“Nothing yet,” Marinette says, looking up from her sketchbook. “I’m still waiting to hear from that contest.”

“I forgot about that!” Felix says. “We worked on the costumes for that, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, we did them together,” she says, smiling. Felix smiles back and sits down next to her, carefully putting an arm around her. She beams.

“Celeste, you should sit,” Adrien says. He nods to the couch and raises an eyebrow. I roll my eyes, but I sit anyway.

“What’s that about?” Juleka asks, looking up from Rose. “Are you okay?”

“I’m  _ fine _ ,” I say, glowering at Adrien, who’s warming up on the keyboard and pretending he doesn’t see me. “I almost fell down the stairs this morning, which could happen to  _ anyone _ .”

“It  _ was  _ your first day back at school,” Felix notes. “And it really was an ugly fall.”

“You’ll have an ugly fall if you keep bringing it up,” I threaten. Felix chokes back a laugh.

“I’m sorry,” he says as I glare, “it’s just that you’re not threatening at all.”

“I’m done with you,” I say, throwing my hands up in mock outrage, but I do get up and walk to the side of the boat out of hearing range, where I open my jacket. “Eikka, was it really that bad of a fall?”

“I got motion sickness,” she responds.

“You’re no help,” I sigh. “None whatsoever.”

“No, that was helpful,” Eikka says. “You know when I’m not helpful? When you  _ leave _ me at  _ home _ .”

“It was a photoshoot!” I protest. “I can’t bring you there! This is a distinctive necklace, and they would have made me take it off!”

“Well, then you tell them no!”

“I’m not telling Gabriel Agreste no! The man’s a monster!”

“Hmph,” Eikka says. “Sounds like a  _ you _ problem.”

“I’m starting to see why you were kicked out of the box,” I say dryly.

“You had to bring up the box, didn’t you?” She rolls her eyes, then gasps. “I better hide.”

“What?” I say, whirling around.

Luka holds up his hands. “Just me.”

“Oh,” I say, biting my lip. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He puts his hands in his pockets. “You look nice.”

“Thanks.” I’m wearing a loose black dress over tights with a purple slouchy sweater. I shuffle my feet in their purple Converse. “Why’d you come over here?”

“I- I wanted to say I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “I left you when you were at your lowest.”

“You didn’t want to lie to me,” I say. “I understand why you did it.”

“Oh- well,” he mumbles, “well that’s nice.”

“I heard Marinette wasn’t interested,” I say, turning back to look at the river.

“Nope,” he says, laughing nervously, “no, she said she saw Felix die and realize he meant a lot to her.”

“That’s rough for you,” I say.

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, it is.”

Practice goes well, I guess- Luka and I keep making awkward eye contact. Juleka glares at him the whole time. Marinette and Felix are clearly in the awkward stage of their own relationship and end up tripping over themselves the whole time. Adrien just looks done with us. But Rose, Ivan, and Mylene are blissfully unaware of the tension, which helps with the sound- the band really does sound good. I think of my laptop, somewhere at home- I wonder when the last time I had the inspiration to create was.

“So,” I say to Marinette. “You and Felix, huh?”

“Is it weird?” she asks. “It feels weird.”

“You’re just not used to it yet, I guess.” I chuckle. “How’d you like the date?”

“It was nice! I loved the picnic.” She smiles. “The macaroons were nowhere near the ones we make at the bakery, though.”

“I told him to go get ice cream or something, but he insisted since he thinks they’re your favorite.” I shake my head. “He’s so stubborn sometimes.”

“They are my favorite,” Marinette says, looking over at me. “He wasn’t wrong.”

We sit in silence for a moment before she clears her throat. “Hey, I’m sorry about Luka.”

“Oh,” I say. “Yeah. Don’t- don’t worry about it.” I think about it. I could be as mad as I want at Marinette, but that does nothing, does it? “He made his choice.”

“It- it’s partially my fault,” Marinette says softly. “Remember that time we were working on that project and you told me to tell Adrien how I felt?”

“Yeah,” I say. “Don’t see how that’s related, though.”

“I thought it was the same thing.” She fiddles her thumbs. “I saw him with you and I had these feelings and I guess I wasn’t over him, not all the way, so I told him. The morning Amelie got akumatized.”

My heart does a strange flutter that makes me want to clutch at my chest. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Marinette says. “I really am sorry.”

“You told him you still had feelings for him and moved onto Felix the same day anyway?” I try to keep the note of incredulity out of my voice. It doesn’t work.

“Judge me all you want,” Marinette says. “He died, and I saw how peaceful he was, and I realized that I needed him in my life.” She shrugs. “And don’t think I don’t feel bad! I do, I really, really do. Especially when I heard that Luka broke up with you.”

I wince. She notices. “Sorry.”

“He made his choice,” I say again, my head reeling. I’m not sure how I feel about everything right now. But I don’t get a chance to process.

The chiming of phones lights up the boat, and I pull mine out of my pocket. “Akuma alert,” I say, frowning at the screen. “Guys, akuma alert!”

“What’s happening?” Mylene says, scooting over. I show her the video clip the news is showing.

“Akuma alert,” I say again. “Looks like some Medusa-esque person turning people to stone.” I stand up slowly. “Guys, akuma!”

They finally hear me and cease playing, Adrien jogging to my side to peer at the screen. “We’d better get inside,” he says, looking around.

I nod, already pushing the drama to the side. Sure, my boyfriend dumped me for a girl who made a huge mistake. But I have Paris to save.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please keep commenting!!! y'all ask some great questions and you make me aware of what i need to fix up in the next chapter. so please, please keep it coming!! :D


	53. this is very, very bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys i just watched the miraculous new york special, and oh my god i loved it!!!!! it was amazing!! if you haven't watched it, i'm about to mention a couple things that are probably spoilers, so skip to the chapter!
> 
> ok, so i was right about there being a power-up so the other characters could fly. however, i totally got it wrong! oops! i'm gonna have to put a disclaimer on that chapter or something. not now cuz i'm tired, but later.
> 
> also: yes!! there are other miraculouses in the world! this makes this a LOT easier and it gives eikka a bit more backstory and makes her make sense i guess? idk, i like it.
> 
> alright, enjoy the chapter! this one was fun to write, and it didn't even take me too long, so yayyyyy. :D

We go down into the bottom of the boat, all of us smushed in together. There’s not much room, and I’m squirming, trying to figure out how I’m gonna sneak away and transform when there are so many of us. It eventually works in my favor- they’re trying to find snacks and I end up slipping out the door.

I duck around until I’m sure that if someone comes up onto the deck, they won’t see me right away. Then I open my jacket and Eikka flies out. “It’s been a while,” she says gleefully.

“It really has,” I say, smiling. “Eikka, open wings!”

I close my eyes, waiting for her to transform me, and I feel the warmth soon enough, until it becomes almost uncomfortably warm. I clutch at my throat as my wings erupt, falling to my knees as it almost becomes hot enough for me to rip the necklace off my throat entirely. And then it’s over and I’m panting on the floor as Eala, wondering what the hell that was.

“That felt like an akuma,” I whisper. I’m not sure how to process this or fix this or anything along those lines, so I sum it up. “Fuck.”

I climb slowly to my feet and extend my wings, stretching them as far as they go, until I feel every muscle pulsing in my back. With a deep breath, I push off the ground, and I start flapping, making my way into the heart of the city to take down this latest foe.

I’m halfway to the last known sighting of Medusa, near the Eiffel Tower, when Ladybug swings up next to me and lands on the rooftop, running alongside me. “Seen Chat Noir?” she asks.

“Not yet,” I say, grinning. “Maybe the kitty fell asleep sunning himself or something.”

“Ouch,” Chat Noir says, popping up on his staff and jumping onto the roof to run beside Ladybug. “You think so little of me.”

I shrug. “Saw the opportunity. Took it.”

“Nice one,” Ladybug says. “A nice change from cat puns, anyway.”

“I thought you loved my puns!” Chat Noir says, indignant. “They’re purr-fect for any situation.”

We all groan on cue, and that’s when we start seeing them- the statues.

All of their faces frozen in pain, all of them clearly terrified, the people of Paris line the streets in a stone form, most of them in motion. We see some people with pure terror on their faces, with screams etched into the stone in a way that makes me want to vomit. People are missing hands, arms, and one person is headless, with dust scattered at their feet. There’s dust in the air, too, hanging in a cloudy haze that makes everything seem slightly distorted, enough that you could almost pretend that it isn’t happening.

“How are we gonna find her?” I ask softly, blinking into the dusty air.

Ladybug winces. “Follow the screams.”

So they lead us, a trail of fear and pain that grows clearer as we grow closer and we finally see her on the street, a tall, golden woman with black snakes for hair and a tall staff in her hand topped with a golden orb. As we watch, she smashes a statue with the staff and the dust cloud fogs up the air, obscuring her from view.

“It’s gotta be in the staff,” Chat Noir says. “If the akuma’s not in the staff, then you should just take away my ring. That’s the most obvious akuma I’ve ever seen.”

“Which is why we can’t trust it,” Ladybug says. “Eala, you fly down and try to see how she’s turning people- I can’t get a good look from up here.”

“What if it’s by sight, like the original Medusa?” I say, biting my lip.

“Don’t look in her eyes, then,” Ladybug says. “You’ll be fine, anyway- the white of your suit will blend into the fog. Chat Noir, you’ll probably blend in, too. It’s my red suit that’ll be a beacon.”

“I’ll see if there’s a way to cover you up,” I say, giving her a two-finger salute and diving, keeping close to the side of the buildings and trying not to flap my wings too hard to stay quiet. Medusa is walking along the road, completely fine with the people screaming and running away from her. I frown, wondering why she’s letting them all get away.

Then I hear the screams intensify, and I see her take her staff, leveling the orb towards a woman. The woman is crying out, jerking, but her foot seems planted to the ground. Then I see it, barely more than a trick of the light, but a slithering grey snake, its scales flickering gold when the light hits it. The woman tries to step on the snake with her other foot, but the snake lashes out and bites her foot, and she falls to her knees as both feet become glued to the ground and she loses her balance.

Medusa walks to the woman, pointing the staff at her head. “See, you’re stuck,” she says, lingering on the ‘s’ sounds for a second too long. “Let me put you out of your misery.” With that, she taps her staff directly between the woman’s eyes, and the woman screams in agony as stone creeps up from around her ankles, finally reaching her face, where the pain is etched there, permanently.

Medusa looks at her, then shakes her head. “Not art,” she says, and she taps the statue with her staff, and the woman crumbles into dust. I wait, watching her leave, then silently thank the woman for helping save Paris. I gather her dust into my hands, then fly back up to Ladybug and Chat Noir.

I explain everything I saw to them while helping Ladybug smear herself in dust- it’s not perfect, but it does mute the red somewhat. “I reckon the akuma is either in the staff, or the snake,” I say. “I’ve never seen it in an animal before, though.”

“Usually they can’t go into organic creatures,” Ladybug says. “Though Hawkmoth did try to put one in that Celeste Vasseur girl, did you hear about that?”

“Weird,” Chat Noir says. “Well, this might be a good time for your Lucky Charm.”

“Agreed,” Ladybug says. “Lucky Charm!” She throws her hand into the air and catches a brightly-polka dotted wicker basket with a lid. “This seems a little too obvious.”

“Put the snake in the basket?” I say. “I mean, yeah it’s obvious, but hey, it’ll work, right?”

“Sounds good to me,” Chat Noir says. “Alright, shall we engage?”

“Let’s keep the element of surprise with us,” Ladybug says. So we drop down onto the street and split up- Ladybug comes from the left, Chat from the right, and me from the front, since it’s decided that since I can fly, I can avoid the snake.

“Medusa, stop right there,” Ladybug orders, her voice disembodied in the fog. I see Medusa straighten and smile.

“Not until you give me your miraculouses,” she purrs. “Come and get me, why don’t you?” 

“Don’t mind if I do!” Chat yells, darting in, and soon the two are battling with their staffs, fighting and dodging like the best of them. I stay in the air, looking for the snake.

Ladybug throws her yo-yo towards Medusa, catching her wrist, pulling the hand with the staff back. She emerges from the fog, basket under one arm. I see her eyes dart around, and widen- something’s not going according to plan.

“Cataclysm!” Chat Noir yells, reaching for the hand with the staff, and then all of a sudden, I see the snake, rearing to bite him in the leg. I see Medusa’s smile, evil and knowing, and I see Ladybug’s realization that the basket is not for the snake.

“Feather Dance!” I cry, thrusting my hands forward towards the snake, with the full intention of blasting it into next week. However, it only flies back a couple feet, which slows it down for all of two seconds before it shoots forward with the intention to bite Chat Noir. However, in this moment Ladybug has managed to get the basket over Medusa’s head and she rears backwards, stepping uncertainly. The lid of the basket happens to fall in between Chat Noir and the snake, making the snake bite the basket and then meet its untimely demise underneath Medusa’s boot as she stumbles backwards, unable to see. Chat Noir reaches out and manages to grab her staff with his Cataclysm, and the akuma flies out in a burst of pure luck.

Ladybug captures it while I land, pressing my hand to my chest as my heart does a frantic little burst of panic from that very, very stressful moment. I close my eyes, trying to breathe while Ladybug restores everything and Chat Noir does a little dance, saying “I told you it was in the staff! I told you!”

“Why didn’t my Feather Dance work?” I say once I’ve caught my breath. “I mean, I’ve done it way stronger than that.”

“No clue,” Ladybug says, and I think back to the pain of transforming and then the weak power and realize again that something is wrong. Could a weak heart make this all worse? “I’d better go, though. Can you deal with her?” She points to Medusa, who apparently is a little old lady with a giant python, miraculously restored to life by Ladybug’s power.

“Sure,” I say, right as my necklace flashes. “Fuck.”

“Pound it!” Ladybug says to me and Chat, and we fist bump, and then I leave Chat to deal with the senile old lady and make it about halfway back to the boat before Eikka gives up and I detransform, barely managing to land on a fire escape with a crash.

“That was not five minutes,” I say to Eikka. “That was, like, two.”

Eikka groans. I sigh. “Sorry, Eikka. I’ll figure this out, okay?” I tuck her into my jacket pocket and make my way back to the boat, arriving right as everyone’s started up practice again.

“Where were you?” Felix growls, grabbing my arm as soon as I got onto the boat. “We were worried sick, you can’t just  _ do  _ that!”

“I know,” I say, trying and failing to wrench my arm out of his grip, “I’m sorry, I came up because I forgot my phone and then I thought I saw something, so I went to check it out and then I realized I was being an idiot so I hid in an alleyway.”

“You thought you _ saw  _ something?” Felix says, barely keeping it together. “There was a fucking supervillain! That’s what you saw! You probably saw a damn snake!”

“No, for your information it was  _ not _ a snake,” I say. “I had my phone and I made sure Medusa was across town. I’m not an idiot, Felix.”

“What was it, then?” he says, releasing my arm at long last. I rub it, exhaling sharply. “What’d you see that was so important, Marinette and Adrien both went to look for you?”

I try to think of another lie, but I can’t. “I don’t know,” I say, suddenly exhausted. “I must have imagined it. Maybe I imagined the whole thing. I’m sorry.”

Felix sighs. “Just don’t- don’t do it again, okay?” He bites his lip. “We were really worried about you.” With that, he turns away and walks back to the sofa, leaving me confused and exhausted and worried enough to make my heart flutter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment what you think!!! i'm gonna be wrapping this up soon, so if there's something you want to see or want resolved, please comment it so i make sure to include it! also, if you've seen the new york special, i want to hear what y'all think of it!! so definitely comment about that as well! y'all are the best and i love each and every one of you.


	54. some unexpected and some awful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my goodness i COMPLETELY forgot to post last week, but here you go, have this week! ahaha i hope some of you are still here and still reading, because this chapter is not the worst one i've put out, if i do say so myself. :D

“Practice should still happen,” Luka says, running a hand through his hair. “Even after the akuma.”

“I agree!” Rose says. “We just got to wait for Adrien and Marinette to get back.”

“We’re here!” Adrien calls. We all turn to see him and Marinette running after the boat. Marinette trips on the stones, but Adrien grabs her arm and hauls her up before she hits the ground, miraculously making it onto the bridge and onto the boat without a disaster. “Sorry about that. Celeste, I’m glad you’re okay! What happened?”

“I thought I saw something,” I say. “Sorry you guys had to look for me.”

“Tell us next time,” Marinette says. “The buddy system, and all that.”

Felix mumbles something under his breath that I can’t make out, but I bristle all the same. “You wanna say something?” I say, raising an eyebrow.

“Marinette, I’m glad you’re okay,” he says, turning away from me. He rubs the back of his neck.

“Oh!” she says, blushing. “Yeah. Me- me too, I guess.”

“And you’re glad your favorite cousin is okay too, right?” Adrien jokes. 

“You know you’re only my favorite because you’re my  _ only _ cousin, right?” Felix groans.

“I thought you had another one on your dad’s side.”

“He’s a second cousin. And he spilled tomato sauce on my suit. He doesn’t count.” Felix turns away. “Now, are we gonna practice, or are we gonna sit around like a bunch of old ladies?”

Felix and Marinette are bent over a sketchbook the whole time, leaving me to look out at the river. My chest is pounding still, my heart doing restless flutters that make me wonder if I should lie down. I rub my chest absentmindedly, watching the waves come up and break against the wall of the canal, only to be absorbed back into the general mass of water. It’s soothing.

Before I know it, Kitty Section has finished up, and everyone’s packing up their things. Marinette waves goodbye to Felix, her face a bright scarlet, and then walks back across the bridge with Ivan, who meets up with Mylene. Adrien and Felix engage in hushed conversation by the railing, and Luka and Rose start bringing stuff to the bottom of the boat. Juleka fiddles with her guitar case. One of the buckles seems to be sticking.

“Need some help?” I say, desperate to be something other than the person everyone worries about.

“I need a new case,” she mumbles. She sits back on her heels, sighing. “It’s been funky for a while, and then I dropped it yesterday, and now it’s shot.”

“Sorry to hear it,” I say.

“You made us worry,” Juleka says, looking up at me from beneath her bangs. “We couldn’t find you anywhere. We were half convinced you’d passed out on the deck somewhere, or Hawkmoth was targeting you again.”

“It was stupid of me,” I say. “I- I didn’t stop to wonder how anyone else would feel.”

“You do that sometimes,” Juleka says, her amber eyes utterly captivating. “Sometimes it’s a good thing, not to worry about what others think. But sometimes it’s not.”

“I feel like it’s not, most of the time,” I say.

“Think of it as. . . survival skills,” Juleka says. “For dealing with people.” She leans back on her hands. “I worry too much about what other people think sometimes, but then I also don’t antagonize them. You don’t worry about what others think, but you seem to have a fair number of enemies for someone who’s been here less than a year.”

“Seems that way,” I say, sighing as I mimic her pose. “I wish it weren’t that way.”

“I wish that too,” Juleka admits, “on the account that I care about you. And I don’t want you to get hurt.” Her eyes stare into mine, and I find myself glancing at her pale pink lips, before they twitch into a tiny smile.

“I care about you too,” I say, smiling back. “You’re pretty cool, Juleka.”

“You’re not bad yourself,” she says, smiling broader now, and I’m content smiling with her.

Weeks pass of mostly nothing. Hawkmoth doesn’t strike again, Chloe leaves me alone at school on the account that I’m pretty sure she doesn’t remember my name, and Gabriel and Nathalie don’t try to experiment on me. However, I can’t find any motivation or any passion for producing music or reading or anything, so my grades go up out of sheer boredom. I spend more and more time asleep. My dad is still working for Gabriel and completely out of my sight. The end of school is in sight, so close I can almost taste a summer full of nothing.

One evening Gabriel and Nathalie are out of town promoting his new line and Felix is on a walk around the city. I’m wandering the house, bored out of my mind, unwilling to do anything that requires any brainpower, and I come to Adrien’s room. We haven’t talked the way we used to in a while, so I decide that maybe that’s what I need.

“Adrien?” I call, walking into his room. “Adrien, are you in here?” I look towards his bed and see a little more of Adrien than I ever wanted to see- and a girl with dark hair. “Oh my god!”

I slam the door behind me, having moved the hell out of the room as soon as possible. My heart is doing frantic spasms, to the point where I’m sitting down, leaning against the wall, practicing box breathing.

Adrien pokes his head out, his hair tousled and his shirt half-buttoned. “Guess I forgot to lock the door,” he says, blushing.

“I forgot to knock,” I say, waving him off. “Sorry.” I take a deep breath, trying to slow my heart rate. “Can I ask who?”

“Kagami was in town,” Adrien mumbles, looking down, “and we started talking, and. . . yeah.”

“You think you’ll get back together, or is this just a passionate booty call?” I ask, grinning.

“I don’t know,” Adrien sighs. “We broke up for a reason, but. . . Kagami.”

“I know,” I say. “Do whatever your gut says. Trust the gut.”

“The gut wants to know if you needed anything,” Adrien says, smiling.

“I was just bored,” I say, waving him off. “You go back to her.”

“Thank you,” Adrien says, about to close the door, before he says quickly, “Never mention this?”

“Never,” I say, laughing, and then I get up from the floor as the door clicks. As soon as he’s gone the smile slips off my face, and I’m staring at an empty house. It seems almost overwhelming all of a sudden, so I decide to go to the garden. I’m standing out there, feeling absolutely nothing, when my phone chimes. Akuma alert. I click to open the newcast. It looks like Kagami’s mom found out the location of her daughter.

“Ikari Gozen is on her way to the Agreste mansion, and she’s not happy,” the newscaster says. “She’s promising destruction to anything in her way.” A clip plays of the silvery villain skewering a pedestrian on her sword; blood flies and the clip cuts off. The newscaster’s face is pale as she speaks to the camera. “Everyone is advised to take cover, stay indoors.”

I duck around the corner of the house, looking to the gate from what I figure is a secure enough hiding spot. There’s a viney bush that should hide me from view while I transform, but I can still sort of see the gates. No one is there yet, but someone’s coming soon. I have to transform and get Adrien and Kagami to safety, because I’m the closest physically to them- there’s no way Ladybug or Chat Noir would reach them in time.

I fiddle with my necklace, pulling open the pocket of my sweatpants. Eikka is sleeping- that’s all she’s been doing nowadays. I wish I knew why.

“Eikka,” I whisper, gently stroking her. “Eikka, I need you.” Her eyes blink open, and she rolls over, squinting at me.

“Hey boo,” she says, her little voice barely audible. “I don’t feel so good.”

“I know,” I whisper, “and I’m so sorry, but I need you. But I’ll ask Ladybug and Chat Noir how to help you, Eikka, because I don’t know how, and I wish I knew.” Her face is so serene I feel I have to ask. “Do you have a transformation left in you?”

“I think so,” she says, slowly hovering in the air. “Make it quick.”

“Eikka,” I say slowly, “open wings.”

She flickers into life, glowing a brilliant white, almost too bright for my eyes, and then she flies into my necklace, slowly and gradually, but I feel the exact moment she joins with the miraculous because that’s the moment the worst pain of my life hits me. Worse than being experimented on, worse than being beaten up, worse than an akuma to the heart, and worse than loosing my mother. I feel myself strengthening, and that strength is the only thing keeping me conscious, and I wish it would go away. I wish I could just fade away.

I crumple to the ground, the world blurry in my eyes, trying to form the words to get Eikka out but my lips won’t move, won’t do anything past scream. I see the vines rustle in the distance as my vision phases, blurring red and spotted with black. I see the silvery Ikari Gozen approaching me with her lance, and I feel the tears pour down my cheek all at once as she stands over me, raising the blade that will surely kill me and put an end to this. My mouth moves to form a word, but it’s not for Eikka. Barely able to force it out, I whisper, “Please.”

She swings her sword down, and someone forcefully grabs my arm. I’m yanked to the side, hitting the wall of the house, and something smashes in the distance. I’m closing my eyes, praying for the end, when I feel a sharp sting at my neck and it’s all over, and someone’s holding me, shaking me, crying my name.

I open my eyes. The necklace is in the grass next to me, the chain snapped. Ikari Gozen has her sword stuck in a bench, but she looks close to getting it out. I’m shaking, my entire body quivering. Both my arms are being held roughly by Felix, and he’s holding me up.

He stares at me, his green eyes wide. His mouth searches for a word, a phrase, and then he finds it. He doesn’t blink.

“Celeste,” he says, his eyes wide. “You’re Eala.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please, please leave your comments! someone reminded me recently to update my tags (oops) and any other constructive criticism like that is MUCH MUCH appreciated.


	55. a miraculous end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so the end is upon us.
> 
> i want to thank every single person who's read this, everyone who left a kudo or a comment, everyone who enjoyed it. this is my first fic and i'm so excited to share it with you. i can't wait to keep going on this website, though i'm not sure when. i have a ton of fic ideas, but this might be my only miraculous ladybug fic! i want to branch into some other fandoms. i hope some of you keep reading.
> 
> thank you for all of your support and all of your lovely little selves. i love you all dearly. :D

“I’m not Eala,” I say, shaking my head violently, but there are spots in my eyes and I doubt I sound convincing. “I- I was having heart issues, that’s why I was screaming-”

“I ripped that off your neck,” Felix says. “That’s Eala’s necklace, Celeste!”

“Can we talk about this later?” I say, noticing Ikari Gozen coming closer to us. “I don’t want to be skewered!”

“Deal,” Felix says, jumping to his feet. He pulls me up next to him; I grab the necklace out of the grass and run with him. He’s holding me close to him, holding me up more than anything. I’ve never felt worse than right now.

She screams behind us and Felix curses. “Who’s she after?”

“Adrien,” I gasp.

Felix grins. “So he sealed the deal, did he?”

“Not- not the time,” I pant.

“Coming through!” someone cries, and I look up to see Chat Noir. I hide the necklace in my fist as he drops down from his staff and runs past us. 

Ladybug swings down next to us. “We’ll hold her off, you two get to safety,” she says. “Go!”

Felix nods, and without hesitation sweeps me up into his arms. I squeak, holding tightly to him as he runs. We’re moving a lot faster without having to wait for me to keep up, and soon we’re at the back door of the house. I reach and grab the handle, and Felix dashes inside, putting me down. I turn the latch to lock the door.

“We ought to hide,” I say. “She could come through here looking for Adrien.”

“He’d have the sense to get out by now,” Felix says. “But hiding’s a good idea.”

We end up in a closet near the kitchen, both of us crouched on the floor. It’s pitch black. Felix clears his throat. “So how long have you been Eala?”

“I’m not,” I say.

He’s quiet for a moment. “I came home from my walk and you were screaming,” he says. “I could hear it around the block. I ran, because somehow I knew it was you, even though everyone was screaming thanks to Ikari Gozen.” He takes a deep breath. “I saw you illuminated in white light, crumpled in the grass, crying to it to end, and I panicked. I saw the light coming from your necklace and I saw your hair- it was twisting like a braid, and then it all clicked.” I wish I could see his eyes right now. “I was worried about getting that necklace off you, but the clasp broke almost right away.” He’s quiet for a moment and then he says, “I guess that’s why you left band practice the other day.”

“I had to help,” I whisper.

“How long?”

“Since my first day of school,” I say. “My mother was Eala. This was her necklace.” I twist it in my fingers. “My kwami’s been quiet and sick for a while. I tried to transform today. That’s what you saw.”

“I thought a miraculous couldn’t break,” Felix says.

“I thought that too,” I say. “I guess I’m just that messed up.” The thought brings tears to my eyes.

“Hey,” Felix says, his voice soft. “Hey, listen to me. You’re not messed up.”

“I am!” I choke.

“No, you’re not. We’ll figure out what’s wrong with your miraculous. Whatever it is, it’s not your fault.” His hand reaches out in the darkness and takes mine, gently. “We’ll fix this. I can help you now.”

“Promise you won’t tell a  _ soul _ ,” I whisper furiously.

“I promise,” Felix says. “And I never break a promise.”

“I believe you,” I say. “Where are you?”

“I’m here. Scoot over.”

“I’m scooting-oh.”

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

I lean my head on his shoulder. “A couple months ago, if you’d told me you and I would be hiding in a closet, I wouldn’t have believed you.”

“I would have vomited, most likely,” Felix says.

“Yeah, me too.”

“Just because we saw each other in that hospital?”

“Grief makes you do funny things, I guess.”

“I’m glad I’m in here with you now,” he says quietly.

I smile, though he can’t see me. “Me too.” I sigh against his shoulder.

Suddenly I feel his hand underneath my chin, tipping it upward, lifting my head, and then I feel his lips on mine. They’re soft, sweet, and gone too quickly. I breathe shallowly as he pulls away.

“Is that okay?” he whispers.

“More than okay,” I whisper back, and this time I lean in. He starts out slow and sweet again, but quickly becomes ravenous, his lips tugging at mine enough to make me make a tiny noise in my throat.

We break apart in a moment. “Marinette,” I mumble.

“She. . . I- I’m not myself with her.” Felix’s voice sounds pained. “It’s not going to work. Not when I feel this way about you.”

“How do you feel about her?”

“I don’t love her,” Felix says, barely loud enough to hear.

“Do you,” I murmur, “do you love me?”

“I think I could,” he breathes. “I think I could fall in love with you. I’m not sure when I last felt love, but I think I could feel it with you.”

I smile again, but he still can’t see. So I try to show him my happiness.

Adrien finds us later, calling our names up and down the house. We spring apart as he opens the door, so he finds us, albeit disheveled, on opposite sides of the closet.

“Thank god,” he says, pulling me up to my feet. “There’s something you both need to see.”

“How was it?” Felix asks, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“How was what?” Adrien says, leading us into the main hall.

“The sex with Kagami.” Felix leans against the wall, a lazy smile on his face. “I’d hope it was good if it caused a supervillain I had to save Celeste from.”

“I-” Adrien’s face turns bright red.

“Felix!” I say sharply.

“Sorry,” Felix says, laughing, “but I had to ask.”

“That’s not- that’s not an issue right now,” Adrien says. “The issue is my father.” He points to the office door.

“I don’t see anything,” I say. “Am I supposed to see something?”

“It’s almost coming off the hinges,” Adrien says, gesturing. “From the inside.” Indeed, the hinges seem to be bulging and the door looks to be pushed, the latch barely holding it shut. It looks as though it’s not closed all the way until you take a closer look.

“Someone’s in there,” Felix says, his tone stern. He adjusts the cuffs on his shirt, examining the door. “Someone’s in there and something went wrong.”

“What if Ikari Gozen got my father?” Adrien says, his voice nervous. “Or an amuk?”

“I’m sure that’s not what happened,” I say soothingly.

“You needed backup.” It’s not a question. Felix grasps the doorknob. “You ready?”

“Ready,” I say with Adrien. Felix kicks one of the doors while pulling on the other one; the doors are so close to giving up they just fall off. I cover my head as they fall, hearing them clatter against the floor and Felix cursing and then just a sharp gasp from the cousins. I open my eyes.

“Dad?” I whisper. He’s in the office, tied to a chair. The same chair I was once tied to. He’s got a bloody gash on his head. Six of his fingernails are missing. Purple veins spread around his neck and wrap up his head.

“Celeste,” he says, shaking his head. “Run.”

“They. . . replaced me,” I whisper. “With you.”

“Run!” he yells, and I hear Felix yell something and I look up and see the butterfly flying directly at my hand. It hits the broken chain of my miraculous, and I hit the floor.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s like I’m waking up from a thousand years of sleep.

I rub my eyes, looking around the room. I’m in the house, but the entrance hall now. Ladybug is doubled over, breathing heavily. Chat Noir is staring at the wall, looking as though he’ll laugh or cry any minute. Felix is sitting up from the stairs, his eyes wild and crazed as they look into mine. I’m surrounded by broken glass, shattered vases, wooden splinters, and dust.

I turn slowly, and I see the front doors are open, and looking out into the courtyard I see everyone I’ve ever known- Luka and Juleka and Rose and Ivan and Mylene and Kagami and Alya and Nino and Chloe and Alix and more people from our class at school. They all look into my eyes with one emotion- fear. Every eye is fixed on me.

“Celeste?” Felix whispers from behind me, and I turn and see tears sliding down his cheeks. I can’t seem to find the ability to close my mouth. I feel my own tears forming.

“What happened?” I whisper. “What did I do?”

  
  


**_one month later_ **

**Celeste**

I wrestle my suitcase into the car, slamming the trunk shut over it. I lean against the car, breathing heavily. Soon, soon my heart will have a chance to heal. I’m so close.

“We’ll miss you in Paris,” Nathalie says slyly from the doorway to the house. I look up at her. She was able to deny all knowledge of Gabriel's actions.

“No, you won’t,” I say. I don't think I believe her innocence. She went along too willingly. 

“I won’t,” she admits. “But it’ll be nice having a spare room again.”

I nod, and she vanishes inside. I sigh, looking at the house. I wanted to leave right away, but my dad didn’t have a job, and it turned out Gabriel had been paying him in checks that he’d had yet to cash. Gabriel had cancelled all the checks, forcing us to stay with him until we found a way to get our feet under us.

Dad comes out then, holding a coffee thermos. “You want it?”

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t want to have to stop for the bathroom.”

“And you’re sure you’ll be fine on your own?” Dad asks worriedly.

“I’m sad we’ll have to split again so soon,” I admit, “but I’ll take a little break from you if it means we get Gabriel locked up for good. And you’ll leave Paris soon enough.”

“Shame we’ll be leaving her,” Dad says, his eyes sad.

“I know,” I say, my voice thick. “I’ll miss her.” Even as we leave Paris, my mother will remain. She’ll remain in the city she loved. I don’t have love for it anymore.

**Adrien**

“Were you really gonna just sneak off?” I call. Celeste whirls on her feet, her face breaking into a smile. She’s wearing a grey dress that hangs loose on her and a lilac sweater that hides her body in a shapeless mass. But her face isn’t hidden as well- her hair swings out to reveal hollows in her cheeks, shadows under her eyes.

_ -whirling shadows surround her, her grey wings skeletal as she points her staff at me- _

“I was gonna come in,” she says, smiling. “I wouldn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”

“You want me to find you some snacks for the ride or something like that?” I say.

“No,” she says quickly. “I don’t trust anything in this house anymore.”

“My father will be locked up,” I say. “I can’t believe he kept the experiment going without your knowledge.” Without Celeste’s consent, he kept testing chemicals on her by putting them in her food. Every time she thought he’d cared about her health issues, he’d been furthering his own goals. Ever since then, though, she’s been slipping, her eating problems multiplied tenfold out of fear.

_ -ladybug runs from the room to get help as felix pleads with her and she turns away from him, a painting ripped off the wall into a vortex of wind- _

“Yeah,” she says. “Thanks for offering to testify against him- anything that could keep me away sounds great.”

_ -’you don’t know my pain,’ she sobs, the wind picking up, ‘you don’t know anything, and you will, i promise you will- _

“Anything,” I say. “I think other people are here to say their goodbyes, though, so I’ll let them have you.”

“I’ll miss you, Adrien,” she says, throwing her arms around me. I squeeze her gently, scared to break her. “I’ll tell everyone at Horizons that I know you! You’re even more famous now.”

“So are you,” I say. My father’s new collection launched even with him being arrested, and it’s booming. Photos from our photo shoot cover Paris.

“I guess,” she says. “Bye, Adrien.”

“Don't’ forget to write!” I say, and she laughs.

“I won’t,” Celeste says, her eyes meeting mine. “I promise.”

**Ladybug**

“I think you have something for me,” I say, landing a couple feet away from her. She jumps. Her skin is almost translucent, and she looks like a ghost.

_ -i narrowly avoid a dark beam from her staff as i swing out the window, frantically trying to make it out alive- _

“I do,” she says. She reaches around her neck and unclasps a necklace, pooling it in her palm. “I guess I did a bang-up job of keeping the secret, huh?”

“It’s not your fault Hawkmoth akumatized it,” I say, opening my hand. She reaches forward, then hesitates.

“My kwami… she was banned from the Miracle Box.” Her eyes meet mine. “And the miraculous is broken. I had to put the new clasp on myself, and I haven’t seen Eikka since.”

“I’ll try to see what I can do,” I say.

- _ ’i need everyone i can get,’ i say to people everywhere. ‘everyone.’ i give out every miraculous i possess, and it’s still barely enough. _

“Please,” she says, finally handing it over. “It was my mom’s before mine, and if I ruined another piece of her. . .”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” I say, putting the necklace into a compartment on my yo-yo. “Worst case scenario you can have the necklace and hope for the best.”

“I’m sorry,” she says.

“We all are,” I say, sighing. “Paris might only need two superheroes, but we sure liked having you, Eala.”

“I liked it too,” she says. “It felt like I was doing some good.”

_ -’i did it for you,’ chat says as he withers in my arms, ‘i did it so you could save us’- _

“You did great,” I say, and with that I turn and bug out.

**Juleka**

“Luka wanted to be here,” I say, peeking around the gate, “but he’s too busy packing up the boat.”

“That’s okay,” Celeste says, flushing. Her knobbly knees turn inward as the toes of her boots touch. “He and I never really became friends again.”

“Yeah,” I say. “You and I got there, right?”

“We totally got there,” Celeste says, laughing. She runs and hugs me tightly.

_ -watching the dark smoke surround us, knowing every breath could be our last, knowing we’re here to die so ladybug has a chance to live- _

“You’re pretty cool, princess,” I say. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll write,” she says. “I promise.”

“You’d better,” I say. “I don’t know when I’ll get your letters, though.”

“You’ll get them when you get back from tour,” Celeste says, waving me off. I smile at the thought. We’d never heard back for the medical ad because the company had thought our song wasn’t right for a medicine, but they thought it was good enough to send to a producer. Kitty Section leaves for a spontaneous tour of France and Germany in two days.

_ -i see the beam heading for rose and i react instinctively, throwing myself in front, and it’s the worst pain of my life- _

“You made me worry,” I say, unsure of myself. “I saw something in you.”

“Something like what?” she says softly.

“Something that made me feel things,” I whisper. “I’m glad to have met you.”

“Me too,” she says, hugging me again.

_ -i hold up my hand and see the flesh withering off my bones, feel myself decay and starve in seconds, turning into a shadow of a human- _

“Take care of yourself,” I murmur, and we split apart.

**Felix**

“You got time for me, angel?” I say, stepping out of the house as Juleka leaves. Her face lights up when she sees me, and she’s beautiful.

“Always,” she promises.

“I can’t believe they won’t let you have a phone,” I say, stepping down the stairs.

“It’s a treatment facility,” she says. “I wasn’t expecting to have a phone.”

“But I’m gonna have no way of contacting you.”

“Letters,” she reminds me, tweaking my nose with her finger.

“Letters that’ll probably be read by some nurse,” I say, rolling my eyes. “I’m glad you’re going, though.”

“It’ll be good for me,” she says, kissing me on the cheek. I kiss her forehead, and just touching her makes me feel better. “Will it be good for us, though?”

_ -i see her eyes, dark and stormy like they’ve never been, and i see her transparent skin and her broken bones and her scars all laid bare for me, and i never knew it was quite that bad and i am filled with genuine fear- _

“I had an idea about that, actually,” I say. “How would you feel if I came to New York with you?”

“You’d follow me to New York?” she says, incredulous. “Even though I’d be in a facility?”

“I’d go to fashion school,” I say, shrugging. “I’ve learned most of what France has to offer, and with Gabriel locked up there’s room for a new designer to take over. I plan on being that designer.”

_ -i watch her hit chat noir dead on with a beam, and i watch him shrivel up before my eyes, and even though it’s the girl i care about i run, i run so fast- _

“I can’t believe you’d do that for me,” she whispers.

“Anything for you,” I say, pressing my forehead to hers. “Anything.”

_ -the wind flings me back into the stairs, and she’s ready to suck out my lifeforce when the yo-yo catches the necklace and ladybug breaks it, and the akuma flies out and it’s over and i’m shaking and broken but celeste is confused- _

“Besides,” I say. “With Adrien on tour and my mother in her own facility, what does Paris have for me if not you?”

“Makes sense,” she says coyly.

I shrug. “Besides, I already bought the plane tickets.”

**Celeste**

“I can’t believe it,” I say, laughing. “You’ll be there, and my dad got a job-”

“It’s a dream come true.” Felix sighs. “It’s a shame we have to leave, though.”

“It’ll end the way it started,” I say. “You and me, coming and going on the same days.”

“Makes sense,” he says, smiling. I reach up and mess up his hair, pulling a strand into his face. He’s stopped putting in so much product- it’s like he’s becoming more comfortable. “Paris never really needed us anyway.”

“It could have used you at one point, I think,” I say. “But there’s no place for me here.”

“No, there isn’t,” Felix says. “Shame. It’s a beautiful city.”

“I don’t regret anything,” I say. “I really don’t.”

“You shouldn’t,” Felix says, taking my hand. “We’ve had some adventures.”

“Some miraculous adventures,” I agree.

He nods to the car, offering his arm. “Shall we?”

I take one last look at the house full of laughter, of pain, of awkward dinners and late night chats with Adrien, of climbing out windows and locking doors, of experimentation and of the best people I’ve met. “We shall,” I say.

And so I leave the city that holds my mother’s corpse, the city of secrets and lies, the city of love and friendship, the most miraculous city I’ll ever know, with the boy I love on my arm. I think back to the past few months, all the pain I felt, but all the pain as well. “You know what,” I whisper. “I wouldn’t change a thing.”


End file.
